Blaine turned off the ignition but he didn't get out. Leaning back against the seat, he closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pounding in his head that had arrived after little sleep and lots of tears. He couldn't believe that twenty four hours ago he was ecstatic, foolishly convincing himself that the events of the wedding meant that Kurt loved him once more. How could I have been so stupid? Kurt was just acting like a typical horny teenager, he doesn't love me…

Blaine felt like an emotional wreck, like he had gone from over the moon to the deepest ocean. He had spent most of the night crying and the rest of it tossing and turning, too angry and upset to settle. Therefore it didn't surprise him in the slightest when he woke up with massive circles under his slightly red eyes and he had walked around half asleep all morning. He hated himself so much at that moment. It wasn't like he hadn't ever hated himself before, but that morning he just kept reliving the time he had spent with Eli. He kept telling himself that he was so stupid for ruining the most important thing in the world to him: his relationship with Kurt.

"I'm reckless, I'm selfish, I don't deserve anyone, I'm evil, I'm a bad person, I'm going to rot in hell and no one will care," he muttered to himself as he stepped out of his car and made his way towards the school.

"I had it all-and I ruined it, I'm such an idiot"

Kurt welcomed the sound of the bell when it arrived. He had always thought he was alright at dancing before coming to NYADA, where he realised that his fitness and strength was far behind that of his classmates – all of whom seemed to have been professionally trained since the age of three or something equally as ridiculous. Nevertheless he worked full out every lesson, desperate to show he wasn't far behind the other and that he was making improvements. This meant that at the end of each lesson he was the only one standing there bright red, out of breath and a fine sweat coating his forehead, which embarrassed him greatly.

Because he had a free next, Kurt left the classroom, Keeping his head low, and headed along the corridor in the direction leading towards the showers. They were built for use after dance classes, so weren't too far away but with Kurt's luck he still managed to bump into Adam in his sweaty and flustered state.

"Hey Kurt!" Called Adam in his distinctively English accent.

"Hey… Adam," replied Kurt no so enthusiastically. Not only was this definitely not the time to bump into the man he had a crush on, but he had had a long flight yesterday and had not slept a lot last night; instead he opted for lying on his bed thinking about various things. This may have included Adam…and Blaine.

Adam reached him and the two started walking together.

"Do you want to go for a coffee after school?" asked Adam, "I was going to suggest the movies or something but you look tired!"

Kurt ducked his head even more, embarrassed that he was so flushed after a one hour dance class, and quickly mumbled that he would love to go. Adam, who had a class next, scurried off after this, quickly catching up with some friends he had just caught sight of.

It was only after his shower, which seemed to wash off most of his embarrassment, and redeeming his confidence by fixing his hair, that he started to get excited about this coffee with Adam. A flicker of hope lit up inside him- he hoped very much that it was a date.

Blaine caught sight of the giant letter 'C' scrawled atop his English Essay in thick red pen and felt like he was almost in tears. He scanned over the comments next to the grade but it was no use – once again there didn't seem to be anything specifically he had done wrong, the essay just wasn't at a high enough standard. He remembered back to the night he had written this – hours it took him and by the end of it he was certain he had at least got a B. but he was wrong. Again. It's always the hardest to handle when to try your best and still fail at what you were aiming for. So many reasons just to give up trying and hide away somewhere, away from the world that you're no good at. Blaine hated feeling stupid, he hated being behind or slower than those around him, but it seemed to be happening more often than not these days. He had never been a genius academically wise – but he never used to be firmly at the bottom of the majority of his classes. He was lost, he didn't know how to improve and no one seemed to want to give up their time to help him.

After discovering that Glee club was cancelled because Mr Schue had a meeting, Blaine headed straight out of school, not pausing to chat with his fellow members also surrounding the sign on the music room's door. The moment the fresh air and sun hit his face he relaxed slightly and slowed his pace as he strolled towards the car park. He had felt trapped in that building all day, constantly wishing to be alone with his thoughts and feelings. He had been thinking more and more over the recent months about moving back to Dalton and today had been one of those days that sent his brain rushing back to the memories of the school he grew so fond of. He never felt stupid or slow at Dalton, but more importantly he never felt alone. There was always someone who was around to listen and understand his worries and it was as though good advice seeped out of the building itself. It wasn't as though he didn't have friends here at McKinley, he had met some of the most amazing people who had become some of his closest friends, it was just that lately, he hadn't felt like he could be as open to them as usual. Maybe it was the worry of the judgement they must still be giving him after what he did to Kurt, who was, after all one of them, one of the group, one of the family. Blaine had been adopted into the family, but he was never going to be one of the founding members like Kurt. He hadn't always been there, he hadn't seen everyone go through all their troubles, and Blaine was sure they hadn't all forgiven him completely yet – which was completely understandable. What he did deserves punishment.

He regretted not staying in touch with the Warblers much as he had promised them, when they all threw him a party to say goodbye. Nowadays he felt even guiltier when he thought of them because it just seemed like another important promise he had broken, another trust he had wrecked and another friendship abandoned. He knew they would forgive him, they were lovely people, but Blaine wasn't sure if he wanted to be easily forgiven. Sometimes it increases your guilt when people forgive you too easily. In his heart of hearts Blaine knew a large part of him was craving to see them all again, the warblers, his 'crew' as it were, they knew him better than any of his McKinley friends, and his life currently felt as though it needed a breath of fresh air. Climbing into the driver's side of his car, Blaine drew out his phone and sent a quick message to Jeff, asking, if it was absolutely no bother, they and a few other warblers could meet up in the current week, anytime that suited them, kiss.

It took only thirteen minutes for Jeff to arrange a gathering for the whole of the Warbler choir, including venue, food, and time – Tom's house, Takeaway pizza, Friday, 6 o'clock. Blaine knew Jeff was one of those people that loved to organize, but that must have been a record even for him. Even so, Blaine was not fooled by Jeff's casual use of 'everyone', and a small crease appeared on his forehead as he slowly tapped out a reply.

"Does 'everyone' include Sebastian?"

The unwelcome reply came all too soon.

"We can't just leave him out Blaine! Besides, he's changed and he wants to be your friend again xx"

Blaine answer was cold, "Again? He was never my friend."

There you go! Wow! I'm so happy with the reception – thanks for following and please (please) feel free to review xxx :)