Chapter 2
After 5 minutes of lying in bed I felt a wave of adrenaline curse through my body. I could say I had no idea where it came from, but it probably had something to do with the vast amount of alcohol that was in my body. I stood up and saw the clock. It was only 11:40. As I fumbled to get the sheets away from me, Brandon raised himself with his elbows and said,
"Insomnia again?"
"No, I'm just feeling restless." I said
Brandon gave this thought and said, "Its funny how two people were joined on their birthday today, just out of the blue."
Brandon plopped down and said, "But that's life for you, full of mysteries, horror, and adventure.
As Brandon wrapped himself with the plush blanket I smiled at the thought of my closest cousin turning 21. Kurt and I we're almost siblings. When my parents died in that horrible car accident, my aunt Stella and Uncle Sam took me in as one of their own. Kurt and I were pretty much raised under the same household until I left for University it Scotland. Brandon's also like a brother to me, but then again- he's more than a brother. When I awoke from my coma in the hospital after the car crash, he was the first one I saw. He lay in a chair next to my bed. His body was bent and looked uncomfortable as he laid his head in my hand and his hand on my other hand. You can only imagine how relieved and happy he was when I gave his hand a nudge to let him know that I was alive. He was so happy he jumped up and down the room and then ran out to bring my cousin Kurt in with him. And that's the way it's always been. I was beyond happy that Kurt was finally an adult, a happy person. After a severe battle with depression throughout most of his teenage life, it was really nice to see him smile and let go at the party tonight. The more I thought about his birthday, the more I thought about what Brandon had said.
"Two people joined on their birthday"…
I sat up straighter and realized what he meant. I realized what I had forgotten about tonight.
"Holy shit." I said
Thankfully Brandon was deep in his sleep and didn't react to it.
"Holy shit, I forgot to say Happy Birthday to Matthew." I thought
Once again, I found myself pacing back and forth the room. This time however, I was in the comfort of my own bare feet and comfy pajamas. I took a peak at the clock once more and saw it displayed 11:50.
Before over thinking the situation, I went back to the night stand, grabbed the odd but awesome picture that Matthew had drew of me and went out of the room. It only took a few steps to get to "A0". I bit my lip before knocking and hoped he wasn't asleep. I knocked once and waited. Nothing. I knocked twice and counted to ten. Still nothing. I sighed and knocked once more. That's when I heard footsteps and Matthew say, "One moment."
I smiled as he opened the door and saw him shirtless. For someone so lanky and thin looking, he was rather fit. I'm not talking steroid rage or Greek god muscles, but he certainly wasn't flabby. His abs we're quite defined and his arms were even more toned with muscle. He realized I was staring at him and then very cutely said, "Am I dreaming?"
"Hm, maybe, maybe not." I said
Matthew leaned into the doorway hiding half of his torso and said,
"You know, you say that a lot."
I blushed and said, "It adds mystery."
He laughed and said, "Did your fairy godmother send you to come get me so she can scorn me for bringing you home so late?"
I giggled and said, "No, actually."
Matthew cocked his head to the side and saw that I was holding his drawing in one hand.
He smiled and said, "I like your persistence, but you'll still have to wait until tomorrow."
"It's not about that." I said
Matthew raised his eyebrows and said, "OH?"
Before I could say anything else, a hoard of drunken college frat boys came down our hall. One of them hollered, "Hey baby, you want some of this?"
The tallest one said, "How much the night toots?" Matthew frowned and looked like he was going to say something, but instead I placed my hand on his chest to push him back and he realized how red I had turned. I bet my cheeks were the color of blood.
He then looked at me with puppy eyes and said, "Stupid bastards, don't let them get to you."
"I know they're just idiots." I said
"Still, I hate when people act like that." I finished
Matthew placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "Come on in, I'll tell you all about my glorious days of being bullied."
I looked up at him and thought he was joking, but he wasn't. All I could think about as I entered his room was why the hell anyone would make fun of someone so awesome. Then it hit me that Matthew was different, weird...and while that was awesome and amazing to me, a lot of people treated weird different people like they were dirt.
Once in the room, I naturally started observing everything. It was my natural instinct to just do so.
Matthew interrupted my analysis as he said, "Sorry it's a bit messy in here."
"It's actually pretty tidy and neat in here." I said
He looked around the room and I said, "Sorry, it's my natural habit to just observe everything."
"Don't be sorry, I think it's cool and smart to do so." He said
I sat down on the center of his bed and he took a chair out and placed it in front of the bed. That way we were face to face, but still had enough space in between us to not feel awkward or anything.
I turned back to search for a clock and saw that it read, "11:58"
"Holy shit." I said a little too loud
"Pardon me?" Said Matthew
I looked around the room again and began playing with my hands in a nervous manner. I sucked it up and looked him in the eye and said, "Matthew, the reason I knocked on your door is because despite the fact that you told me it was your birthday I had forgotten to congratulate you or hug you or anything, and I'm so sorry, that must have been really rude of me."
Exasperated, I stared at a rather amused Matthew. He placed a finger in his lips as to avoid smiling, but instead he ended up looking really sexy and I had to look down again to avoid my silly thoughts to get into my head.
Matthew said, "Look up at me."
I looked at him and then he burst out laughing. I on the other hand just lay in the center of his bed really confused. I felt so out of place and out of it that my eyes started to get watery; I couldn't understand why he was laughing so hard.
Matthew took notice of this and said, "Oh don't cry!"
He got out of his seat and into his bed and gave me a sweet hug.
He placed his chin on top of my head as he warmly embraced me and said, "I knew you were a softy."
I tried to laugh at that but instead felt even more odd that he had figured me out. As you can see, I wasn't very good at letting my walls down.
Matthew pulled me out of a hug and now sat very close to me.
"I didn't tell you it was my birthday and you have nothing to feel bad about." Said Matthew.
"Matthew, there-
He interrupted me and said, "Call me Matt."
"Matt" I said, trying it again.
"There was a bunch of girls singing to you, and I knew it was your birthday and I still didn't say anything."
Feeling like I had nothing left to say I looked up at Matt to see him biting his lips.
He cocked his head and seemed to be lost in thought. After a few seconds, Matthew perked up and had a big smile on his face. I couldn't help but to feel myself blushing.
"What?" I whispered
in the same tone Brandon had earlier, Matt very dramatically said, "Karen Jane Valentine, this is what you feel bad about?"
I looked around the room trying to find the right words when I finally just spit it out, "I have a huge conscious and sometimes I feel horrible for things that people normally wouldn't, and I tried to sleep but I couldn't get you out of my mind-
Matthew's teeth flashed and the room was illuminated by his smile.
"Oh shit" I thought.
"You couldn't get my out of your head?" He said
"Yes…because I felt like I had been rude to you earlier." I said trying to recover
"Not because I'm cute?" he said
I bust out laughing and said, "Sure Matt, let's pretend the only reason I am in your room is because I find you adorable and not because my stupid conscious wouldn't let me sleep."
"Fine by me."" Said Matthew
I didn't feel like letting him win so I said, "I have insomnia, I need all the sleep I can get whenever my body allows me to."
When I finished Matthew seemed interested and said, "You have insomnia?"
"Unfortunately." I replied
"Unfortunately?" he said
"You know most people always tell me that's a tragic thing when I tell them I have insomnia." I said
"You go around telling people you have insomnia like its some big super power?" said Matt
"No." I groaned.
"When I first started working at the hospital, my coworkers always gave me crap for my under eye bags." "They thought I was up all night partying or being promiscuous." I said.
"So after a month of taking their garbage I had a meltdown and told them that I had insomnia, and that they could all shove their theories about me up their ass."
"Wow." Matthew said
"Yeah, wow." I finished
"You work at a hospital?" He asked curious
"It's a long story." I said
"Luckily for you, I don't sleep at night either." He said
"You have insomnia too?" I asked him
"Not really, I just usually go to bed very late." He said
"Tell me about your job." He said
"Ugh, it's such a long and boring story." I whined
"Fine, tell me about your insomnia." He said
"My insomnia?" I replied
"Yes." He said "Where does it come from or when did it start?"
I bit my bottom lip remembering how my insomnia started. It began a month after my coma, a month after the car accident that killed both of my parents. Once I moved in with my aunt and uncle, I started having these horrible nightmares. The nightmares got so out of hand that I was too scared to sleep. It started out with me not sleeping for a week for fear that I'd have another nightmare and wake up in panic. Soon after that, I just stopped sleeping. Of course my uncle and aunt noticed because I started getting killer migraines too. I lost weight, and of course the dead giver away we're my under eye bags. I've always had naturally dark circles, but when my insomnia first started, they were just bad. For a while, it looked like someone had literally beaten the crap out of me. Makeup wasn't working anymore, and my aunt and uncle decided to take me to a doctor. From there the kind doctor let me know that I was underweight, anemic, and that my soul lacked happiness. He prescribed me vitamin d and to eat more, and then sent me to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist asked me some standard questions, and then asked me about my sleeping and eating habits. I told her how I had lost interest in a lot of things, mainly because I saw no purpose to them, or because I was too tired to do them anymore. I let her know that I wasn't starving myself, but that I wasn't as hungry as I use to be. I'd sleep through my meals. After the evaluation, my psychiatrist informed me that I was definitely depressed and most likely had insomnia. She said she'd let me know if I really did have insomnia once my test results got back (which they did, and I was diagnosed with insomnia). As to my depression, she said that normally, someone as depressed as I was would get anti-depressants, but that she knew I didn't need them. She told me she trusted that I could make a change for myself. So she never put me on anti-depressants. I thought about all our therapy sessions and how much she helped me and what an impact she made on my life when Matthew tapped the side of my head and said, "Earth to alien, you there?"
I blinked and said, "Sorry, I spaced off."
"So are you gonna tell me all the juicy details?" he said
"Matt, there's nothing cool about insomnia." I said
"Sure there is!" he said
"You don't have insomnia, you wouldn't know." I said a bit too bitterly
Thankfully he didn't' take it the wrong way and said,
"You're right, I don't have insomnia, but I like the idea that while most people are sleeping, there are a few little freaks up a night doing normal things like cleaning their room, or watching Netflix, or reading a book, or folding clothes, or decorating, eating, etc." he said
"The night is so much more fascinating." He said
"I hate the dark." I said
"Me too." He said
"Then how is the night fascinating?" I said
"It adds adventure. Go to a movie theater for a midnight premiere…go with a couple of friends and as you walk with them in the dark, you feel like a total badass." He finished
I laughed and Matt said, "Aha!"
Matt? I said
"Yes?" he said
"I don't really want to talk about my insomnia and its origin…it's not something I am comfortable talking about."
Matt's face turned from that of a happy puppy to that of a puppy that just got ran over. He looked at me and I could tell that he wanted to say something to make it all better but instead I said,
"I wish I could say that I just have insomnia because it's a genetic thing or my brain just won't let me, but I'd be lying. I don't want to travel to this dark phase I went through and…"
I didn't realize that I had started shaking, but I did. And I wasn't just shaking, but I felt like I was having a full on anxiety attack, because my whole body was trembling. Matt tried to get me to look at him but I couldn't. I could feel his eyes dancing on me, but I still couldn't look at him. Ever so gently he raised my chin with his hand and I shut my eyes tight. Matt leaned me onto him and whispered into my ear, "Tell me if you need anything, do you need water or -
"I just need you by my side." Was all I could manage
Matt sat by my side, he slid one hand across my shoulders as he pulled me into him. As I shut my eyes I kept telling myself to breathe, that this was just a panic attack and that I wasn't going to die. After some time, I raised my head from my knees and Matt instantly shot up.
"Are you…better now?" he said looking really worried.
"I'm sorry." I said
"I'm really so-
I couldn't even finish my apologies before I burst out crying.
"Hey, don't cry!" Matt softly said
"I'm such an idiot!" I said
"I shouldn't have come here to bother you and I can't even talk about some things because this happens all the time and I'm so-
"Stop saying you're sorry!" Matt said sounding a bit desperate
"There's nothing you should feel sorry for or embarrassed about." He said
I had heard that a lot in the past, but when Matt said it, it sounded sincere. Instead of shutting down again I said,
"You're the best."
He gave me a sly smile and said, "You're different."
I looked up at him and saw that he meant it in a good way. He whole heartedly did.
I let go of my frustration and just started laughing.
"Oh oh" said Matt
"Please tell me you aren't a bipolar psychopath and that you aren't going to stab me now."
I laughed more and said, "No, I feel better now."
"Really?" he said
"Yes." I replied
"Good!" he said
"Now I can do this." He said so as he grabbed me to wrap my torso around his legs. My back faced his face as his long noodle legs embraced me and that's when his soft hands started drilling into my sides. I started fidgeting and laughing at the same time.
"This is torture!" I giggled
"No, this is called tickling." Matt said
I tried to use my hands to break free from his hold, but that wasn't working. Instead I used my weight to bring me down to my side and then removed his legs from me. I tried to jump out of bed but I was too slow and he caught my foot and dragged me back into bed.
"What's this?" he said as he took my sock off.
"It's a tattoo!" I responded as he inspected my tattoo at the bottom backside of my left foot."
I thought about talking to him about it so he wouldn't tickle me anymore so I opened up and said, "I got it when Toy Story 3 came out. Brandon and I were both in Scotland and we hadn't seen each other in such a long time so we went to the premiere and then after it we cried so much and got drunk and decided to get Andy tattooed, like Woody had Andy tattooed in his boot and…"
"That's sweet" Matt said still observing it.
"You know what else a foot is good for?"" he said smiling
"Tickling!"" he finished
Matt started to tickle my foot and I just flailed around like a fish without a water.
"Stop!" I said
"Never!" He shouted
I used my other foot to kick his hand and then ended up wrapping myself around him and tickling him too. In a few seconds Matt unwrapped my legs from him and pinned my arms to the bed. I tried to fight him as he was inches away from my body, but he was too strong. Instead I kicked my knees up and hit him in the stomach. With that, he let go of my hands but fell on top of me. For a few seconds, things were a bit awkward since he was literally on top of me, and his chest was pressed up to mine and so and so, but he just kept tickling me, and I did too.
Somehow his hands made it up to my neck- my ultimate tickle-ish spot and that's where I lost it all. I started laughing really loud and begged him to stop.
"Matt, I'm going to piss mys-
Before I could finish my sentence there was a knock at the door, and we both froze.
"Mr. Gubler." said a sweet voice
Matt instantly got up and said, "One second!"
For some reason we both bolt to the door and there stood a young girl who roughly looked like she was 18 saying, "I'm sorry to disturb you, but there's been a small complaint." She said
"A complaint?" Matt said
"Yes, your neighbor called the front desk to have someone to check up on you, saying he heard a lot of uhm laughing and jumping going on, physical activity?"
Matthew laughed and I said, "Neighbor? You mean room A1?"
"Yes, Mr. Flowers" she finished
"Oh!" she said remembered something
"Yes?" Matt said
"He asked me to tell you something, but I don't know how serious he was about it."" She said shyly
"What he'd say?" said Matt
The poor girl looked embarrassed as she said, "Don't ruffle the feathers on my fiery majestic dove, or I will put Nair on your shampoo bottle."
I tried not to be rude but that sent me to laugh and then Matthew laughed and then the girl started laughing too.
"I'm so sorry he put you up to this." I said
she smiled and said, "Its ok, I got to talk to Brandon Flowers!"
I smiled and said, "You like the Killers?"
"I'm a huge fan!" She said
"I've been trying to go to their concerts but I'm always short on money." She said
realizing what she said her eyes grew wide and said, "Omg, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be complaining about my life to you two-sorry!"
I smiled and said, "No it's ok!"
Matt followed up by saying, "I happen to know someone who's very close to Mr. Brandon."
He looked at me and I said, "Yes!"
Not following us I said, "You booked Brandon into his room and also noted that a girl named Karen would be staying with him." I said
"Ah yes!" she said.
"I was told Karen was Mr. Brandon's best friend, is that right?" she said
Nodding I said, "Hi, I'm Karen."
"OMG!"" she whispered.
I giggled at how cute she was and Matt asked, "What's your name?"
"Sydney." She said
"Sydney how would you like to attend the Killers concert here this Friday?" I said
Sydney said, "No way, I couldn't, you wouldn't…omg!"
"Let me grab a pen." I said
I ran back into the room and Matthew followed me leading me to pen and paper.
I wrote down my name and cellphone number and handed the paper to Sydney, "Call me tomorrow and I'll give you more details." I said
Sydney's walkie talking started peeping and then a voice came out of it asking her to check up on the lobby." She lowered its volume and hugged me.
"Thank you so much, you're an angel" she said
"She's a ginger with a soul!" Matthew chimed in
we all laughed out loud and then Sydney said, "I have to go!"
We waved Sydney off and then Matthew closed the door saying,
"That was really nice of you."
"As a ginger, I have to prove everyone wrong and show them that we can be nice too." I said
He laughed and said, "Lucky girl, she got your phone number.
For some reason, I didn't mind that he was sort of flirting with me. I looked at him in the eye and said, "Matt, it's almost 1AM and things are unclear to me…are you flirting with me?"
"It's about time you got the hint!" he playfully said
"I'm very bad at this flirting lingo stuff." I admitted
"I'm pretty romantic." Matthew said.
"Is that so?" I said
He just laughed and said, "I once gave a girl a bloody fake ear in a Tiffany jewelry box with a letter that said, "Will you Gogh to prom with me?" yeah, I guess I'm a romantic."
"Wow, such romance!" I teased
"You don't believe me?" he said pretending to pout
"Hm." I said
Matthew scampered to the sitting area and brought out his laptop from his backpack.
He plopped it down and said, "We are watching Netflix."
"How is this going to prove your point?" I asked
"I'm going to pick a movie to watch, and if it's not romantic, you can hit me or something." He said
"How about I believe you and we just watch a movie instead?" I suggested
"That sounds less violent." He said flashing me his whites
"So what do we watch?" he asked
"Surprise me."" I said
He stared at me and said, "Let me look into your eyes and figure out what kind of movie genre you are." He mysteriously said
As he stared he started talking, "Your eyes have tiny lines by their sides meaning they crinkle a lot, and the corners of your mouth have tiny lines too meaning you must laugh a lot, and you can be very sarcastic and broody…" he trailed off and picked a movie.
I had no idea which movie he had picked, but we ended up on with our backs against the bed's headboard. We sat side by side with too many pillows and the laptop rested on his lap. The movies stated and the title of it was, "Our Idiot Brother."
My eyes grew huge as I saw Paul Rudd, and Matthew must have caught on because he said,
"What's wrong?"
I giggled before I said, "I am madly in love with Paul Rudd."
"I think we all are."" He said
I liked that he admitted that and asked him if he's ever watched the movie.
Matt nodded and then said, "Yes, but I'm in love with Hugh Dancy."
"I've been in love with him since Confessions of a Shopaholic!"
Mathew looked at me very seriously and said, "You speak…
"PRADA!" we both said together
We ended up watching the movie until it ended at 3 am and then Matt and I just watched videos of Paul Rudd dancing and Hugh Dancy interviews.
Matt? I said
"Mhm." He said with weariness in his voice
"Happy birthday." I said
"It's not my birthday anymore." He said
"But, you can tell me so next year." He giggled
"I hope we're friends by then." He added
"We already are…are we?" I said
I sat up on my knees and said, "Matthew Gray Gubler, this is my cordial invitation to ask you for your permission to be my friend." ""Will you be my friend?" I said
Matt just looked at me and said, "I can't take you seriously in your pajamas."
"Matthew Gray Gubler answer my question!"
"Fine." He said
"I'll be your friend."
"Good." I said
Somehow watching videos made us really tired and my body ended up literally next to his, our hips touching and my head also found its way to his chest. Hearing his heart beat with mine, I shut my eyes and fell asleep.
All I remember was Matthew turning his computer off to slide it into the nightstand, and him whispering into my ear, "March 10th marks our friendship anniversary."
"Good night." He whispered.