While this is taking place in season 3, it does not follow it as closely as some other fanfiction may. If this displeases you, this may not be the best story for you. This is very centered around Hook and Peter's relationship. This one is proof read!

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

Hook was tired. He felt that they had been going in a never-ending circle. The hot, muggy air coated his throat, making it harder to breathe and his heels cried out in agony as his leather boots enveloped them just a bit too snug. He wanted to quit. All he had to do, was sit down and just tell them to go on. He'd remain here, and they would all leave him behind. None of them cared about him anyway. They called him pirate, selfish, untrustworthy… It was odd though, how "pirate" was the one that hurt the most. He was selfish, he deserved being called "untrustworthy," but he had never hid being a pirate. He had changed his life after his brother had died, turning to a life of piracy and accepting all that came with it, yet when they spat the word as if it meant the most vile of things, it hurt him a bit, making him almost ashamed.

Even Peter Pan never made him feel so…vile. There were certainly many words to go around in that setting, but not once did Pan use "pirate" as a way to insult Hook.

"Hook!" Charming called out over his shoulder. "You're falling behind."

That's when Emma turned around. Hook noticed he was several meters away from her, making her all the more approachable by Neal, who was just barely out of arm's reach from her. Charcoal rimmed eyes gazed at long, unruly blonde hair and high cheek bones. He had wished their kiss had meant more to her. Perhaps telling everyone about Neal had been a mistake, or had Pan known all along that this would happen? What game was that child up to? Did he think that just because Emma rejected Hook that the pirate would come crashing down into the teen's arms, awaiting those soft kisses and light touches?

'Cheeky bastard…' Despite Hook's assumptions, there was a lingering thought, playing on the chords at the nape of his neck that thought there was something almost resigned in Peter's actions. He hadn't forced Hook back, in fact, if it hadn't been for Hook's behavior in Storybrooke, the pirate wouldn't even be in Neverland. Peter had only small attempts at speaking to Hook, and only once had it been about the two of them. Hook chewed his bottom lip as he realized he'd fallen too far behind and an impatient Prince Charming was walking toward him with crossed arms and a gaze that said more than just simple irritation.

"You feeling okay?" Charming asked.

Hook merely smirked. "Thirsty, is all. Seems my rums gone dry." 'Lies you stupid pirate, you're confused, slightly heartbroken, unsure of yourself, and afraid…'

Charming's gaze narrowed into disbelief. "Pan's camp has been traveling further, and further from us. Henry needs us, more and more every hour and all you can think about is the last time you drank? How can you go from saving my life one minute, to…this," he gestured to all of Hook. "In a split second?"

"Called being a pirate, mate." With that, Hook began walking, lightly brushing his shoulder against the prince's. He saw Charming's disapproving head shake and heard that heavy sigh, but he kept on.

They had walked a few more miles before Emma called it a night. Hook watched from his corner of the camp as she angrily threw her sword down and began arguing with Neal. Hook presupposed the said topic of such a heated debate was Henry. He sat back, crossing his arms over his chest with a smirk gently hinting at his features. He turned his attention to the fire Regina had created, watching as the flames hungrily consumed the air around them, gulping and spurting for more. He stood up, walking away from the strong fire and moved further and further into the blackness of the forest. At first, he didn't really know why he wanted to be rid of his "companions." He had found them all to be tolerable in one way or another, at least on most nights. Even the argument Emma and Neal were having was something Hook would enjoy. Suddenly, he knew exactly why he wanted the solace of the tall trees and heavy shadows. The farther he was away from them, the more of a chance he had to see Pan again… Even if the idea sickened him to the core. He felt like he should loathe the boy, but such a strong emotion danced with adoration and love, and Hook was smitten with painful memories and a heavy heart.

He snaked his way through the heavy trees with their lounging vines and lush leaves before simply sinking down to his knees and closing his eyes. He was tired. He hadn't been so tired in years. His body was fatigued, but that was always temporary. His mind was beyond its limits of exhaustion. Every day, every minute that he spent here, something reminded him of Peter Pan, even knowing Neverland's very existence reminded Hook of Peter Pan! Despite his past with him, he wanted that boy, though "boy" seemed like such a strange word. Peter seemed so much older, wiser than most Hook had ever come in contact with. Those eyes had such tales in them, if only Peter would just let Hook know them… Maybe their relationship wouldn't have gone the way it had...

He opened his eyes, seeing endless brush and darkness laid out before him. Neverland had a very interesting way of showing exactly how one felt, Hook knew very well of this strange occurrence as when he first came to the island, it was so bright and full of promise, and after his brother died, he never saw the sunlight…

"Reminiscing on old times, Hook?"

He couldn't contain his fluttering heart as it tried to launch itself at that silken voice. Hook sat up on his knees, looking around much more alert now, trying to find where Peter was hiding.

"Only good thoughts right? Neverland has no place for bad ones…" Peter taunted as he came into view, swaying his hips seductively. Hook watched those hips like one would watch a clock's pendulum.

"You never told me," Hook said softly. He couldn't look Peter in the face, but he could still watch those delicious hips…

Peter came to squat in front of him, cocking his head to the side with a brow raised high above the other. Hook resisted the urge to brush his nose up against the other's. How? How did Pan have such a strong grip around his heart, even if they hadn't been together for so long? Even when it had ended the way it had?

"If we left. You never told me."

Peter's mouth contorted into a thin, hard line. "I told you that you couldn't leave Neverland unless you were willing to pay the price."

"But you never told me the price was my brother's life." Hook finally raised his gaze to lock with Peter's. In that instant, a surge of emotions came through his body, cascading over his spine, rushing through his veins and slamming into his heart. He swallowed hard. There he was… Hook came out to find him, and here he was… He had so many questions, so many lingering thoughts, yet none seemed appropriate or as if Peter would ever answer. How did a child have such a strong grip on his heart? It was disgusting! Infuriating! He wanted to ball his hands into fists and punch that perfectly sculpted, innocent face. It was all an act anyway… There was no innocence within the teen, just a monster lurking deep within soft porcelain skin.

Peter rolled his eyes, moving to sit cross legged in front of Hook. "It's been a long time, Hook. Why are you still in the past?"

"Why aren't you?" Hook blurted back. Again, he watched as Peter raised a single eyebrow.

"Is this your way of saying you still have feelings for me?" Peter asked, craning his neck a bit so that his lips were close to Hook's neck. He moved back, settling back into his cross-legged position.

Hook didn't want to answer, he wanted to scoff, stand up, brush the dirt off his pants and walk back to Emma, back to Prince Charming and even Snow and her purest of hearts, but he didn't. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against a thin tree branch and sighed.

"I don't know," he finally answered.

Peter nodded, his lips teasing at a small smile. "I'll take what I can get, I suppose." He stood up, turning his back to Hook.

The pirate wanted to reach up and grab Pan's hand, but he resisted. Desperation was an ugly trait, one that he never found appealing, even within himself.

It was cold… Neverland didn't get cold, and yet Hook was freezing as he hastily tried to create a fire with a piece of flint and some wood. Peter lounged behind him; his feet curling into the warmth of Hook's back. Hook could feel those small toes as they lifted up his tunic and pressed themselves against the small of his back, causing him to almost shiver at how ice cold the boy felt. "I can't bloody get it!" Hook said exasperated, throwing up his hands in frustration.

Peter looked passed the pirate and at the dark fire pit. "Keep trying," he bluntly said before going back to playing his panpipes. Hook turned, knocking the boy's feet away from him as he glared angrily at Peter's surprised face.

"I have kept trying. Why are you refusing to use magic?" he spat.

"Because." The teen shrugged. Hook stood up, pacing angrily and kicking at the base of a tall tree.

"You're such a brat," he snarled under his breath, but it was loud enough that he was sure Peter heard him.

The boy rose up, floating a bit in the air as he glared at Hook. The air seemed to get even colder. He settled back on his feet, but his glare hadn't let up in the slightest.

Hook faltered under that heavy gaze… He averted his eyes, using his own arms to wrap himself in any warmth he could get. "I just…"

"You just gave up. You got angry, desperate and impatient, and so you gave up," Peter spat. "Is that the way of a pirate? To give up when something seems hard? To just turn around and walk the other way?"

"If I gave up when things got hard, I'd have left you a long time ago," Hook countered, regaining some strength despite the bitter cold. He straightened out his shoulders, trying to appear much larger than the boy before him.

Peter laughed, but it was forced and dark. Hook felt his stomach churn. He hated that laugh…

"You don't believe in me at all do you?"

Hook cocked a brow at Peter.

Pan motioned to the fresh wood in the fire pit. "I'm just like those pieces of wood to you. You see me as cold…indifferent even."

"Among other things…" Hook mumbled, but his anger was still too apparent to have suggested anything polite.

Peter bit his bottom lip, clearly in aggravation. Hook was pressing the right buttons, and he was enjoying every second he seemed to have the upper hand. "I wanted you to light that fire so I could see you were willing to try, to put forth some kind of effort, just as I want you to put forth some kind of effort in us. You fight with me, every. Single. Step. Of the way. I just wanted to see you act for us instead of me acting for us…just once."

Peter stormed off, leaving a rather alarmed and confused Hook. He picked up the piece of flint, rolling it in his fingers, feeling its soft surface and sharp edges. He could sum up his entire relationship in this single piece of flint with Peter. "I don't trust you…" Hook said barely above a whisper.

"Is this you trying to apologize?" Hook said as he removed himself from his thoughts. "Because it certainly isn't working…"

Peter turned back to Hook, his cheeks flushed and his eyes a bit too full of anguish. Just for a single moment…a tiny sliver of existence, Hook actually thought the boy was sorry for what he had done all those years ago…

"I made a mistake, Killian…" Peter said through clenched teeth.

"Hook!" a voice shouted. The pirate turned to see a torch coming his way, hearing the twigs snap and leaves brush lightly against one another. He turned back to where Pan had been standing, but there was no trace of him.

Charming came out of the brush, looking around, almost seeming surprised that Hook wasn't alone.

"Yes?" Hook asked.

Charming looked around a bit more before turning his attention to the pirate. "I thought…"

"What? That I was having a lovely conversation with myself?"

Charming laughed softly, nodding in acceptance. "Yeah. This island plays tricks on you apparently." He offered a hand to Hook, whom accepted.

"That it certainly does…"