A/N: At the bottom

6/15/13 Prompt from dcurley1: "I demand that you move this piece of shit outta my way this very instant!" -From 'Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood'

Rated: T

Character or Pairing: Rosalie/Emmett

Style: Not Drabble. Haha

Word Count: 577

Not beta'd so any mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters from the Twilight Universe. I merely make them talk about crust.

Crusty Rides & Riders

Rusted out junk bucket. I don't know why she's so friggin' attached to it. It's not like it's even able to be driven anymore, Rosalie ranted in her head. She felt her face screw up into an ugly sneer as she stared at the faded red paint—you know, where there was paint dotted here and there amongst the rust—and the god-awful bulbous hood. "It was a gift from Charlie," Rosalie mimicked perfectly in Bella's voice. "For fuck's sake, couldn't he have given her a snow globe or something?"

"Aww c'mon, Rosie. Don't be like that. You know how sentimental Bella is. This was her first car," Emmett said, his tone mild so as not to upset his mate further.

"It's a hunk of junk, Emmett!" she screeched in response. "It finally died the death it should have a decade ago, and she's practically in tears over it! Edward has promised to replace it with any vehicle she could possibly want. He's even willing to get her a used car if that's what she would prefer." The idea of buying a used car some disgusting human used to own was enough to turn her stomach. The leftover smells would be horrendous. Suppressing a shudder at the thought of a Taco Bell, spilled milk, and body-fluid scented car, Rosalie continued ranting. "The point is, Emmett, that this truck is toast. I can't fix it. Finding new parts to replace what needs to be would be difficult enough, let alone the price tag on all of it. Just because we have more money than we could ever need does not mean I'm going to put a large sum of it into a vehicle that's more corroded than that Crusty Rider thing we saw in Ohio!"

Emmett snorted his laughter at Rose's mention of the infamous family-named Crusty Rider. Somewhere in a small town in Ohio, a high school welding teacher's ears were burning, he was sure. An homage to the school's mascot the Rough Rider, a statue of a man on a rearing horse was erected at the entrance to the town's most holy temple: the football stadium. Greeting every blessed fanatic who entered the parking lot was the shittiest, most rust-covered, and feebly formed hunk of metal he and his family had ever seen. It had become—and continued to be—the butt of many a joke. Shaking his head as he finished sniggering, Emmett finally responded to Rosalie's statement. "Babe, I think Bella understands the truck's not worth fixing. That's part of why she's so upset."

"Then why is it still sitting here? A whole lot longer and we may as well call it lawn art!" Rosalie hollered, though the humor in her voice was evident.

"Bella hasn't decided what exactly she wants to do with it yet."

"I don't care! I demand that you move this piece of shit out of my way this very instant! It's sitting entirely too close to my car," she said haughtily; the smirk trying to form on her lips giving her away.

Emmett just rolled his eyes good naturedly and walked over to kiss Rosalie on her forehead before saying, "You got it, babe. I'd hate for those iron oxide bugs to infect your baby."

Rosalie lightly smacked Emmett on the bicep as he walked over to push the truck to a new location and briefly wondered what it would take to convince Charlie that Bella had a sudden interest in snow globes.

A/N: I saved my author's note for the bottom to explain the whole Crusty Rider thing. I'm from Ohio. I'm also from the small town mentioned (though said town shall remain nameless). This means I have every right to make fun of anything that pertains to said town . . . and there's a lot to make fun of. The Crusty Rider is a true entity. It was during my junior year of high school that a welding class made up of my peers took it upon themselves to create a statue in the shape of our school's mascot. The school administration was so excited by this, that they decided to make it a permanent fixture at the entrance to the parking lot that leads to the football field. Not even close to making this shit up, kids. And the "statue"? It is literally covered in rust. It's so rusty that I nearly ended up with lock-jaw just looking at it. I felt like I needed a tetanus shot every time I drove by it. I—I cannot even... There just aren't words. I wish I had a picture to include because then you could understand the true humor behind Rosalie's comparison. Anyhoo, I hope you all enjoyed this bit of fluff. :) Big thanks to dcurley1 for the prompt. You should head over and check out her and duskri123's one-shot collections as well. They write some awesome stuff.