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CHAPTER TWO: SUICIDAL

Anticipation rushed through my body as I got onto the plane to Washington. This was it. I was really doing this. I knew by now that some-one would have discovered I was gone. Probbally Alec, he always came to check on me during the night and make sure I was still okay.

They were probally tracking me right now. But they wouldn't find me. By the time they got here I would be already in the air. And it wouldn't take long for me to find my way to my parent`s house when I got to Washington, or the reservation - once I was on either one, I would be protected. Safe. Away from them.

And with Jacob.

I didn't know when I fell asleep, but I woke back up with a start when the ladies voice came over the intercom.

"Attention passangers- we seem to be having problems with the weather and will be landing in northern Canada until the storm clears. We are sorry for any inconvieniance caused."

My eyes shot open. Landing? In Northern Canada?

When the plane landed we all got out and huddled into the waiting section of an airport. They were right, atleast. It was freezing outside. I got my coat out of my bag and threw it on, sitting in the corner farthest away from the A.C vent.

I suddenly realized I had to use the washroom, tucking my bag away in the corner I got up and walked over to the girl`s restroom. It was empty. I sighed and walked over to the mirror. I starred in horror at what I saw. My eyes weren`t brown. I shouldn't have been surprised at this, I had been forced to drink human blood for 4 years. But I hadn't expected them to be coal black. Recently- I had been trying to stop myself. Whenever someone of the guard brought in a group of humans- or whenever we went out to hunt them down, I stayed in my room. I wasn't allowed out of anybody`s sight, except at night when I slept, and still then they came back every few hours to check on me, so I wasn't exactly allowed to hunt.

I hated myself for killing people, murdering innocent people. For months I could stand to look at myself- it disgusted me. My family was going to be so disappointed. I quickly used the washroom, avoiding looking at the mirror again, and then hurried back to my seat in the waiting room.

I starred at the clock. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours- and finally, when we had been there for more than 5 hours, and I was on the verge of crying, I stopped one of the attendants.

"Excuse me, ma`am- when will we be leaving for Washington?" I asked, trying to hide the thickness in my voice.

"Well, the storm still hasn't cleared- but if all goes well we should start getting ready for flight in the morning." She said, and then hurried over to a couple who were waving to her.

Seeing the couple cuddled up in each others arms was to much for me. I grabbed my bag, buttoned my coat, and glanced over my shoulder to make sure no one was paying attention to me. Almost everybody in here was fast asleep, already, no one would notice if I snuck out the exit.

I walked casually, making my way to the door at the back of the room, then, pushing it open into the cold darkness, I took a deep breath and bolted towards the forest.

*JACOB`S POV*

I didn't know what to think- I was shaking, grinding my teeth together as I starred at Seth- who was being protected by Edward.

A few minutes ago everything had been fine. I had been forced out of the house, accused of not doing anything, and had decided to come over here. Esme had cooked for me, tried to comfort me, just like a mother.

Then Seth had burst into the Cullen`s house, all hot and sweaty, talking in between pants. He gave us a long story of how he had just been running around, not paying attention to where he was going, and he saw Renesmee in the woods.

He said he tried to go to her, but he might have scared her away.

"I doubt she caught my scent before she ran- she must not have known it was me."

And then I got angry.

I don't know who exactly I was angry with. I just knew that I was on the verge of phasing- and if I did phase, Seth was not going to survive.

"Relax- Jacob. He wasn't sure." Edward said, "If he had known for sure it was her he would have phased back- but it could have been some-one hiking, a human, even."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Where. Was. She." I growled.

"I-In the woods, around Canada. She was hunting." Seth stammered, "Atleast she was before she ran."

I shook my head.

"He`s lying." I hissed, not to any one person in particular.

"He isn't- he saw some-one." Edward said, "I see it."

"He`s making it up!" I shouted. I didn't want to believe it- only to realize it wasn't true. I believed it before and look where that got me.

"I understand that, Jacob- but we have hope now." Edward said.

"Renesmee could be out there, we just have to-"

"She`s dead." I muttered, "Renesmee is dead."

To say those words hurt more than if some-one had run me over with a bulldozer.

"Jacob-"

"I said she`s dead!" I shouted, turning to face Edward, "She`s not coming back!"

I growled and ran out the front doors- Carlisle probbally wouldn't like it if I wrecked everything in the living room, the second I was outside I phased- running into the forest that surrounded the house.

My vision blurred with tears as I ran, but knew this forest to well to hit a tree running.

I ran straight to the edge of the cliff. Maybe this was it. I could hold my breath, but not forever.

I calmed down enough and managed to phase back. The water looked terrible, just by seeing it I could tell it was freezing down there. The waved crashed against the edge of the cliff, I knew any-one who was smart enough to jump today- even a wolf- wouldn't survive.

I took a deep breath and braced myself, then with a running start- jumped over the edge and into the freezing cold water.

Just before I hit, I swear I heard a familiar voice shout out-

"Jacob!"

Cliff hanger! I don't normally do cliffies, and even when I do, I write out the next chapter way too fast for it to really be considered a cliffie. Hope you guys enjoyed! Please review me!