Break up Advice - Chapter 6
by Kadi
Rated: T
"When you agreed to help," Andy grunted, "I don't recall there being a lawn chair in the equation." He shifted the box of books he carried and cast an unhappy look at his partner.
Getting his lover to agree to move in with him had, in hindsight, been the easy part. Actually deciding the when and all the other little details had taken much longer. In the end, Sharon decided that it was ridiculous to move Rusty to one location, then move him to a second one when he moved in to the dorm. They'd waited until August, using the weekend before the kid was set to move in to his dorm room before they did the bulk of the moving. It worked out, it had taken that long to get the place ready, given the nature of their jobs and their often unpredictable hours. After weeks of packing, sorting, and several trips to Goodwill and the Salvation Army, the day had finally arrived.
Movers had done the bulk of it, moving the furniture they were keeping, and hauling out what they were not. The rest, they were furnishing together. They wanted to keep her sofa, and the chairs that went with it. His dining room was unused, so they were keeping that furniture as well. All of the furniture from Rusty's room was staying, and the loft over the garage had been emptied out in advance. The bedrooms would be completely refurnished, they would do that together, although they were keeping his bed for the meantime. Anything else was small pieces, and there would be time to go through it. Once they were moved in, of course.
"I am helping," Provenza reached into the cooler at his feet and took out another cold drink. He popped the top and leaned back, enjoying the shade of his little umbrella. "I'm supervising. You obviously need supervision. Therefore, I am here to keep my eye on the colossal mistake that you are making."
"I can hear you." Sharon walked by, and was met by Buzz who took the box of dishes out of her hands. He had offered to help, since they were giving him the living room furniture Andy wasn't keeping.
"He wants you to hear him." Sanchez walked by with another box, a smirk on his face. Offering to help had been a no-brainer for him, especially given the fun that should be had with the Lieutenants bickering. "There's nothing you can do about his complaining here, ma'am."
"I'm sure the movers left some tape around here somewhere," Flynn scowled. They were really only moving the items they hadn't wanted the movers to touch. Clothes, dishes, and other personal items.
"Hm." Sharon smiled. "What a wonderful idea. I can't possibly get in trouble for taping his mouth shut here." She clasped her hands in front of her and rocked back on her heels. "Buzz," she called in to the house. "If you see any tape laying around…"
"Now, now," Provenza shook a finger at her. "You can't glower at me like that on my day off. Also, I'm pretty sure taping my mouth shut falls under an excessive use of force. We'd have to call it in, there'd be an investigation…"
"Is he serious?" Sharon looked up at her lover. "Really?"
"The heat?" Andy shrugged. "At his age, it does odd things to you."
"I suppose that must be it." Her lips pursed. "Otherwise, he'd remember that I have a definite in when it comes to FID."
"Mark my word," Provenza stated. "You're both going to regret thi—what is that?" Rusty was pulling a large box up the driveway toward the house. It was almost as big as he was.
They looked over and smiled. "Shoes," they both said.
"Good god." The older Lieutenant shook his head. "You're both insane."
"You're telling me." Rusty looked up, gratefully, when Buzz came to help him. "This is just the first one."
"How many of those could there possibly be!" The old man stared, aghast.
Sharon shrugged. "Just the two." She turned quickly and walked in to the house, intent on unpacking as the boxes came in.
His hand smacked against his forehead. "I don't believe it! The crazy witch has almost as many shoes as you have ties! Insanity!"
"Hey." Andy scowled. "Watch your mouth." He started toward the house with the books.
"Yeah," Rusty smirked as he and Buzz followed. "When he calls her that, it's foreplay."
"Rusty." Buzz shook his head. "Don't get drawn in. They're old and cantankerous. It's best if we avoid the drama."
"Hey!" Provenza yelled after him.
"It's his day off too," Rusty called back with a grin.
Andy carried the box to the living room and stacked it with the others. "Tell me again why we let him come over?"
Sharon laughed. "I think let could be the wrong word. Do we ever let him do anything? He's here for moral support." She was carefully unwrapping dishes as she took them out of a box, and tossing the discarded bubble wrap into an empty box.
"Is that what we're calling it?" He stopped behind her and pressed a kiss to her neck.
"Well," she smiled. "I refuse to acknowledge that he's supervising anything, so yes, that's what we're calling it."
"Moral support it is," he nuzzled her neck. "I could get used to this." Her hair was pulled back in a clip, giving him access to her neck.
"Hm." She chuckled. "You're not supposed to be in here playing with me. I'd suggest getting back to work before Mr. Moral Support catches you and has a stroke." She moved his hands away from her and gave him a light, playful shove toward the front door.
"Yes ma'am," he tossed off a salute.
"Can I stay here and play with her?" Sanchez smirked at him.
"Julio." Flynn caught his shoulder and shoved him ahead. "Don't make me shoot you. The boss frowns at that kind of thing, you know."
"Then tell her not to wear shorts on moving day," he tossed back with a grin.
Andy glanced back and smirked. She was wearing an old pair of cut-offs, they weren't obscenely short, but he was enjoying them. "Hell no, keep your eyes off my girl's legs."
"Too late," Sanchez jogged back out to the truck, laughing.
A dark red sedan pulled to a stop along the curb in front of the house as Andy pulled another box of dishes out of the truck and passed it to Sanchez. When Ricky got out of it, he pointed him toward the house. "She's inside."
"Nice," he slipped his sunglasses onto his head and took a good, long look at the house. He followed him up the walk. "Mom never was one for lawn ornaments," he said, pointing at the old guy in the chair.
"We're getting rid of a lot of things," Flynn grinned.
"Oh great," Provenza drawled. "Satan's spawn thinks its funny."
Ricky laughed as he walked into the house. "Ma, you've been making nice again, I see." He looked around and followed the sound of her laughter. "Nice place."
"Hey," she smiled widely. "Two visits in six months," she held out her arms when he neared. "I got lucky."
"I completely goofed out on the last moving day. I wasn't going to do it again." He lifted her off her feet when he hugged her. "I came to work, where's the kid?"
"Hiding." Sharon laughed. "He's reached his gross factor for the day. He's voluntarily unpacking my shoes."
His brows shot into his hairline. "Wow, what did you do to the kid?"
"They were checking out her legs," Buzz supplied as he walked by.
"That will do it." Ricky nodded. "Can I just add, ew. I think I'll join him."
Sharon rolled her eyes at him. "Nice, very nice. Thank you."
"What? It's the yuck factor, mom. Lots of yuck." He nudged her as he walked by, going in search of Rusty. He found him, muttering under his breath as he stacked shoe boxes on a shelf in a closet that was as big as his first apartment. "Damn," Ricky said, turning in place once he stepped inside.
"It was a deciding factor," Rusty informed him. "Are you hiding?"
"Definitely." He walked over and peered into the box. "She's got an addiction, you know that right?"
"I'm not sure that it's just her." Rusty pulled another shoe box out of the much larger moving box. He pulled the top off, stuck it underneath, and placed it on a shelf. "It's a thing, just don't ask."
"Oh, I learned that one a long time ago." He walked over and opened another, similar box, only to find more shoes. "Wow." Ricky shook his head. "Obviously her condition has gotten worse."
"That's nothing compared to them." Rusty shook his head. "Serious ew."
"Very." He was purposefully not color coordinating them. It would drive his mother mad later. Ricky grinned. "How did they find this place?"
"It's Flynn's," Rusty said. "He bought it a long time ago." He glanced over. "You're okay with it right?"
"It's a nice house." But Ricky smirked. "It's cool, mom's been alone a long time. My dad was, is, a massive DB. I'd say it was okay as long as I didn't have to kick his ass for being a jerk, but she'd beat me to it." He took the lid off a box of very slinky stilettos and shook his head. "I'm not going to ask."
"It's usually better when we don't," Rusty said.
"Yeah." Ricky slanted a look at him. "So, any bets on when they're getting hitched?"
"Dude. Really?" Rusty shook his head. "My ears are still ringing from the last time we played that game."
"Proximity," Ricky pointed out. "You'll be in the dorm next week. The sound doesn't carry as well over the phone."
"Oh. In that case…"
When the last box got moved inside, Provenza took his cooler and followed it. He found a comfortable armchair and resumed his role as supervisor. "A little to the left," he gestured as a picture was placed on the wall. The look his captain shot him made him grin. He smiled back, gleeful, and gestured with his hand again. "Do you want it to end up crooked?"
"Of course not." She shifted the picture to the left, as directed and then took a step back. That would do. "Just keep in mind, I can't say anything to you today."
He lifted his drink and toasted her. "What happens off-duty, stays off-duty," he drawled.
Andy lay his hands on her shoulders and propelled her forward. "There's one in every family," he reminded her.
"Lucky me," she said, with no small amount of sarcasm.
"Just remember, if you shoot him—"
"They'll give me a medal?" She smiled, only too sweetly, up at him.
"After that," Andy said.
"I'll have time to plant a garden?" Her eyes sparkled with amusement.
"After that," He continued, sighing.
"Honestly, I'm still not seeing a downside here," She smirked.
"Let's go." He turned her and marched her away from his partner. Andy grabbed her purse and put it in her hands. Her sons had taken over unpacking the dishes when they finished with her shoes. "We're taking the truck back," he announced. "We're picking up food. Everyone behave." He pointed at Rusty. "Keep an eye on him," he hooked a thumb toward his partner.
"What am I? The Provenza sitter?" Rusty shook his head.
"Hey!" The lieutenant yelled. "Watch it, young man. I can hear you."
"I know." Rusty unwrapped another glass and set it on the table.
When they heard the truck's engine fire and pull away, they waited another minute for the sound of Sharon's car to join it. When the sounds faded, Provenza launched himself out of his chair. "Alright, they're gone, let's do it."
Rusty snickered. "She's going to kill you."
Ricky looked around as the others of his mother's team stopped what they were doing and joined the older man. They followed him outside to his car. "What am I missing?"
"You do not want to know." Rusty just shook his head.
"This isn't going to be one of those guilt by association things is it?" Ricky arched a brow at him.
"Probably." Rusty set another glass on the table. "Don't worry, we're definitely going down with them."
"Oh good." He unwrapped a plate. "So, if we're screwed anyway…"
"Might as well get a front row seat." Rusty left the dining room and headed toward the other side of the house.
Sanchez and Provenza returned, carrying a large box each, while Buzz held the door for them, another box held against his side. The boys watched with interest as they dropped the boxes onto the coffee table and sofa and began unloading the contents. Rusty bent at his waist, laughing.
"I don't get it." Ricky walked over and picked up one of the twelve inch, porcelain figurines. "Mom hates this movie. Why is this funny?" He glanced at Rusty, holding the intricately painted porcelain Scarecrow.
"Your mother is the wicked witch," Provenza held up the center piece to his little gift, the green faced witch, complete with hat. He tugged it down over her head. "Don't worry, she'll get it."
"Where did you find all of this?" Rusty picked up the little wood plank house.
"Little shop over in Venice Beach," Provenza explained. "They had the whole set, it was going out of business, so I got them cheap."
"Of course you did," Sanchez laughed. He tossed the lion to Buzz and reached into his box for another.
"I got them forever ago, and I've been waiting, patiently for the opportunity to bestow this work of art upon hers truly."
"It's an inside joke," Buzz explained for Ricky, who was still looking confused. "They used to call her the Wicked Witch, complete with illustration on our Murder Room's white board. Now it's more of an… affectionate monicker."
"Affection has nothing to do with it," Provenza shook his finger at him.
"Of course not, Sir." Sanchez held up a little flying monkey. "Flynn," he nudged Buzz.
"Obviously." Buzz rolled his eyes. "Where are you going to put it all?"
Provenza looked around and spotted the mantle. "There." He walked over and began taking down the baseball memorabilia that he knew the Captain would move anyway. Rusty took it and moved it to a shelf in the corner of the room, while he and the others arranged his gift on the mantle. When they were finished, Provenza stepped back to admire their handy work. "There." He rubbed his hands together gleefully. "It's perfect!" The witch had a prominent spot in the middle, with the monkey at her shoulder.
Rusty snapped a picture of it with his phone. "No one will ever believe you otherwise," he explained.
"Send me a copy of that," Buzz asked with a grin.
"Me too," Sanchez said.
"I'm sending it to the entire team," Rusty told them. "Except Sharon and Andy, of course. There, it's away." He laughed. "You are all in for it." He turned and headed back to the dining room.
Provenza went back to his chair and his cooler, while the others got rid of the evidence. They flattened the boxes and put them with the others. He whistled a merry tune and reached for the remote.
Ricky glanced at his brother, "Is he whistling Over the Rainbow?"
Rusty's lips pursed. "Probably."
"They're all a little crazy," he observed.
"Yep," he grinned. "They're pretty great."
They were gone for just over an hour, and returned laden with bags of food for the crew. There was the choice of sub, salad, or burgers for those so inclined. They arrived to find the dining room and kitchen completely unpacked, dishes in the cupboards and hutch. The boxes of books remained, but Sharon had a system for those and they weren't really urgent. The boxes got stacked along one wall out of the way. She could unpack and organize those as she found time.
Clothes and other personal items had been coming over for weeks, so there was little which remained in the bedroom or attached bathroom. It was simply a matter of cleanup and organization now, all of which could be done in good time. The bulk of it was complete. For which they were immensely grateful.
Rusty had sorted through his own belongings as he packed them at the condo. What was remaining in his loft was unpacked and situated. The rest remained in boxes, locked up in his car, in the garage. It would make the trip with him to the dorm, along with those items which had been purchased to furnish the room.
The group gathered in the living room to eat. It was Andy that spotted the new additions to the decor first. The witch caught his eye and he stopped. He backed up and turned toward it. His head tilted. His eyes closed. Andy's gaze swept the room, Buzz wouldn't meet his eyes. Sanchez was staring at his fries, shoulders shaking lightly. His parter looked right at him and smirked.
"What?" Sharon held out his salad. His look was one of mixed amusement and something she couldn't quite name. Resignation, perhaps? "Andy?"
He took the salad from her and shook his head. "I don't think I can even begin to explain."
She gave him a puzzled look, and when he moved, she saw it. Sharon blinked several times. She strode slowly to the mantle to get a good look. Her lips pursed. She reached out and lightly poked the hat sitting atop the green-faced doll's head. "I see."
Provenza's jaw clenched. He took a deep breath before he managed, only barely without laughing. "It would be rude not to bring a house warming gift."
"Hm." She slanted a look at him. "Yes, I suppose it would." Her lips twisted toward something that might have been a smile. She picked up the flying monkey and considered it for a moment. Then she replaced it all and shook her head. "Well played, Lieutenant."
Sanchez turned away laughing while Buzz snickered.
"Just remember," she said sweetly. "I always get even."
"I still don't get it," her son said.
"Well, now that Flynn is here," Provenza stated. "We can tell you the story… he started it."
Andy looked skyward and drew a breath. "You know, if we're really honest about it… she started it."
"We were just minding our own business," his partner said. "We'd been doing okay for a while, then all of a sudden, here comes FID poking its—or rather her—nose into everything, every time we turn around."
"And not being very nice about it," Andy admitted.
"It was not that bad," Sharon huffed.
"Ma'am." Sanchez shook his head at her. "It was bad," he said.
"This one gets fed up," Provenza hooked a thumb at his partner. "Decides to make a little doodle on the murder board."
"You added the broom," Andy reminded him. "Buzz drew the house. It was not only me."
Sharon's eyes widened, she looked at the tech. "Buzz!"
He shrugged. "It wasn't a good day."
She leaned back on the sofa with a sigh. "I was only doing my job."
"Uh huh." Sanchez snickered. "That's okay, we forgive you."
"We started calling her the Wicked Witch because she'd fly in on her broom," Andy said drily, "wreak a little havoc, and then fly right back out again. It was mainly because she enjoyed wreaking the havoc."
She rolled her eyes at him. "Only a little."
"A lot," he fired back.
They stared at one another until she conceded. "They were just so easy." She had to smile when the guys laughed.
"But then she saved our asses," Andy reminded everyone.
"So now it's all, mostly, an inside joke," Julio added.
"Mostly?" Sharon arched a brow at him.
Julio shrugged and pointed at the older Lieutenant. "He's cranky."
"And now Flynn has gone and inhaled the fumes," Provenza snarked. "There'll be no living with him from now on."
"Nope." Sanchez sighed. "We've lost our viewing pass for the show," he nodded to her legs. "I think I'm depressed."
"Yeah," Buzz slumped beside him.
"Aright, knock it off." Flynn tossed fries at both of them. Her face had gone a shade of red that was decidedly scarlet. He leaned over and kissed the side of her head.
"Ew." Rusty shuddered.
"Ditto." Ricky looked moderately disgusted.
"Well," Provenza clapped his hands together. "It's been great. But it's getting late and I need to turn into a pumpkin."
"He's mixing his popculture references again," Ricky pointed out.
"He does that." Rusty shrugged. "It gets less confusing when you get used to it."
"Good to know," Ricky wrapped the remains of his sub and stood as well. "I have to get going too. I'll drop by tomorrow." He walked over dropped a kiss on to his mother's cheek.
"Thank you for coming, baby." She stood and walked him out.
They all disbursed after that, leaving only Sharon, Andy, and Rusty behind. Rusty finished cleaning up in the kitchen, then wiped his hands. "Okay, I'm headed out."
Sharon chewed the corner of her lip. "You'll be okay out there?"
"Really?" He made a face at her. "I'm headed over to the dorms in a few days, you're worried about the loft?"
"I'll worry about them too, everything in it's time," She sniffed. "Rusty?"
"I'll be okay," he promised. "It's only a few yards away. You'll be okay in here?"
"Noted." She walked him to the door. "You've got your key if you need inside?"
"I'm good," He promised again. "Go do… gross things. Stop worrying about me."
"I always worry," she called after him. He lifted his hand in a wave and kept walking. She waited until he disappeared inside the garage and the light came on upstairs before she pushed the door closed and locked it. Then she turned and leaned back against it. Her gaze found Andy. "Alone."
"Yep." He walked slowly toward her.
"So, about that shower… I seem to remember something about a—-" She squeaked when he lifted her over his shoulder. Then she laughed. "You're going to hurt yourself."
"Like you weigh anything." His hand landed against her backside. He carried her down the hall to the bedroom, turning off lights as they went. He dropped her onto the bed when he reached it.
She landed with a bounce, still laughing. "You are insane."
"Yeah," his t-shirt was pulled over his head. He dropped it to the floor. "But I'm also getting in the shower. You gonna lay there all night?"
Her eyes narrowed. She scrambled after him, shedding clothes as she went.
The following day was spent cleaning and organizing, cut short when Major Crimes was called in on a case. At the end of the week, they moved Rusty into the dorm. If there was any hesitation on his part, he didn't show it. It was Sharon that got emotional, but they'd expected that. Rusty bore it, reminding her he was only a few miles away, and he'd be dropping in with laundry all the time anyway. Flynn had to draw her away, and it was only after they were gone that it sank in.
He was on his own, again. Rusty didn't mind it this time. He'd brought a piece of home with him. His roommate didn't completely understand the significance of the porcelain witch and flying monkey on the shelf over Rusty's bed, but he didn't care. It was just something to remind him. It might have been a few miles instead of a few yards, but he wasn't alone.
~FIN