Chapter 2: Reunited at last

That morning I awoke all by myself, in a cold sweat. I no longer felt terrified, but it got more twisted and bloody each time making it rather difficult to get used to, even if I willed myself to think of something else. The sweat-drenched nightgown stuck to my skin making it itchy and suffocating. I shakily pressed a hand on chest, feeling my heart beat galloping away. To talk about my dreams would most likely assure the listener the same fate: having your worst nightmares, night after night, just to wake up and live a nightmare from which you can't wake up from. I felt like it just got harder and harder. I was scared. I was alone.

The others… they were fine! They could sleep, eat, talk, live normally, while I was plagued by terror after terror. Why couldn't I be happy? Or at least let be? I found it incredulous that they could be alright while I felt more and more isolated. An unbreakable wall slowly cementing itself between them and I. I couldn't breathe. I panted and grasped the sheets blindly, struggling to calm myself.

"Help…help…please someone help me…. HELP!"

I hugged the sheets and pressed them to my nose, just breathed. In my mind; it was like a room with books, filled with pictures (images) and words (thoughts and feelings) I searched. Wreaking havoc in desperation as it got colder and scarier. A good memory. Just one and I'd be fine.

At last I found what I'd been looking for.

"Julia, please just try the gown." Susan plead, with puppy eyes. She was pouting like a child. Honestly.

I shook my head, snorting "Susan, for the last time. I'm not taking part of the ball. It's not even my birthday, it's Edmund's." I frowned, contemplating facts and out of habit added "his… sixteenth to be precise."

She wiggled the dress and smiled in exasperation "All the more reason. Admit it, you fancy him."

I felt both my sides being hugged. I turned my head. "Please, Jules. You never dress pretty-

"Excuse me?"

-and I think Edmund would like to see you there. You know he prefers having loved ones near, and that includes you, silly." She giggled at the end.

"What were you saying about me not dressing 'pretty'?" I evaded.

"Come on!" Raphael tugs on my arm hard. Ouch. "We all agreed to go to each other's birthdays and dress like we should."

I shook my head and straightened "You all know that my job is to keep Edmund safe-

"Excuses! Excuses!" Susan interrupted. "He would think of you lovely in this gown."

(After many protests and threats on my side) I went to the party, dressed with that sea-blue gown, decorated with intricate silver embroidery. Edmund, dressed in silver and red, was lively chatting with a trio of nobles. A duchess her husband and their teenage son. "They didn't seem fidgety; no sign of nervousness, nor unusually self-concision or glancing at something repeatedly; no signs of something bad about to be done by them, they seem okay." I shook my head, I was acting like the knight I was, analyzing every one in his vicinity. "Oh, Aslan, help me. I so nervous." I muttered to myself in worry. I was too used to walk around and act like The Knight of The Just, not as Julia Norwolf a guest. It was bizarre.

I kept myself busy by looking around, the ball was beautiful, delicate and not overly decorated. Susan has a good sense of fashion and balance, I'd give her that. The music was easy on the ears, enough to listen and appreciate and did not hampered the conversations, more like encourage them. I could hear many of the topics discussed: how beautiful was the music, how handsome the king was, how wise Edmund was, and so on. Mostly were of Edmund, and they were positive so it relieved me.

"Julia?"

I jump and turn sharply "Oh! Edmund! Sorry, you startled me." I place a hand on my chest and breathe in relief.

He smiled "I should say that I felt the same, thought you would be caught dead before you wore a gown. Given your refusal to wear one before." he explained.

I fidgeted "It's just that- well- I feel self-conscious and..." I shrugged sheepishly.

He took my hand and when I looked up he said "You're beautiful."

My breath calmed down, and sleepiness clouded the edges of my mind, I was so exhausted. I slowly let myself fall back on bed and fell into a dreamless sleep. Until Brenna would wake me up for another day.

I was pleasantly bored. Yes, pleasantly. I much rather be bored that fighting against Samantha's pawns, thank you very much. I breathed deeply, leaning more heavily against the mild bench. There was a sudden uproar on the other side, "Fight! Fight! Fight!" I guess it was obvious what the fuss was about. From what I could see a second boy had gotten himself involved; he pounced on another boy. I did not see his face, but I wasn't really trying to. I just was secretly glad it wasn't me.

Brenna was more interested "I wonder who got into a fight this early in the morning."

"Maybe one of those bullies, they're always getting into fights." Gabriel sat beside her, sharing her curiosity.

I said nothing, I honestly couldn't care less. I was tired and restless, I just wanted to sleep, real sleep.

I frowned to myself, upset at my weakness and ignorance. Part of me wanted to be completely indifferent to the world, to hate Him for what I was forced to do, to hate those who came out of that battle unscathed. And yet... this small, but stubborn and solid piece of my heart reminded me of what I gained, what I learned, what I experienced. I learned what was like to be loved, and to love so strongly I could give up everything else. The biggest was my fear, because I felt completely terrified of both sides; I thought if I were to choose either I would lose myself, lose sight of who I was, I feared I would stop being Julia Norwolf, and would become another Luce; a puppet. I couldn't confide in anyone; Brenna wouldn't understand, Raphael is too young and Gabriel is too... cynical. Luce is completely out of the question.

I take a deep breath and lean on the back rest. The wait would be short, but very slow. I sighed. I massaged my tense forehead and when I opened my eyes and looked to my left... I felt invisible. They, Luce included, chatted animatedly about something I couldn't understand, couldn't hear. Time slowed down for me. I felt like I was slowly disappearing, like slowly turning more translucent as the seconds wore on. I could imagine how easily they could function without me, I felt... unneeded; useless. I wanted to be necessary.

The thunderous sound of the train coming closer was not what brought me out of my downward spiral of thoughts, but a pinch. On my bun. That was on the bench.

I jump out of the bench and glare at Brenna, who was at my immediate right. "What was that for?!"

She looked at me incredulously "What could you possibly be on about- Ouch!" she stood up as if burned by the bench. "Gabriel!"

He gave her the same look "What did I do- Ow! Raphael-" Raphael shot up and looked at the bench confused. Luce made a little jump, then stood; her eyes were wide and she frowned. The sudden passing of the train made my hair whip on my face. It only took me seconds to realize that the train wasn't stopping, and there was too much wind. "Grab hands!" They did automatically.

I look around, the tiles were blown off the walls, papers flew left and right. The people seemed to notice nothing strange, they kept going on their business undisturbed. The wind kept blowing and blowing; through the windows of the still-going train I saw a blue sky, then the torn wall, then the sky. I breathed deeply, and I gaped slightly. The pitch had been magic. The pitch had been magic! I felt an overwhelming swell in my chest. A massive cluster of emotions both good and bad. I wanted to jump out of my skin and at the same time freeze where I was. The everything became too bright and I had to close my eyes.

Leaves. I could hear the distinct sound of rustling leaves; the smell of sea water made my tongue tingle. I could hear the waves crash in the distance and for a moment I felt like it was just me and no one else. The clear blue sky greeted my sight as I opened my eyes, a smile tugged my lips.

"We're back." Brenna whispered in awe. I think we felt scared that I we were to say much louder everything would vanish as in a dream. I walked forward and absently let go of Brenna's hand to reach for the tree before me. I never felt so relived, happy to feel the rough bark under my hand.

We were back. Back home. Back in Narnia. And I felt too relived to speak.

Raphael didn't last long in the silence, he never did. That was one of the times when I truly did not mind at all. "We're in Narnia!" and he stated to jump and cheer and do things only a child would. Amusing as it was, Gabriel joined in the jumping. It was ridiculous, funny and made me scratch my head. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Knights of the Valiant and the Gentle." I though in amusement. My cheeks were starting to hurt, I massaged them, but I couldn't stop smiling so it didn't help much, only in making me look silly. Brenna took my hands and through shakes and exited sounds told me how exited and happy she was. I couldn't help the short mock I made of her expressions, she just blushed and jumped. I snorted at her.

In the distance I hear squeals and laughter. I turned and realized we weren't as far from the beach as I originally though and clearly saw a quartet of teenagers playing with each other. Two boys and two girls.

I breathed.

Before I knew it a gryphon, a lion cub and a stag had speed ahead. A single though had stopped me from following the suit as to my left... was Luce. She looked incredulous and confused. "Luce..." she looked at me, and kept her distance. "This is Narnia... um, we've been here before." I explained. I was expecting, hoping, I would get a reaction. An acknowledgement that she knew what I was talking about. Nothing.

"Mind if I go?" I asked in worry. She shook her head. I nodded and after a slight hesitation shifted and ran. It was comforting to feel my paws digging in the earth, and leaves and the wind as I sped. It wasn't hard to find Edmund as he is the only one shaking his head at his brother and sisters respectively on the sand. Maybe he thought that I wouldn't do the same, and normally I wouldn't, but I made an exception. I missed him too much.

He heard me and smiled mirthfully, hunched down and evaded me when I tried to pounce on him into the water. The waves wet my fur and I shifted back. I laughed and tried to catch Edmund while he in turn ran and splashed me. I crashed against him and sent us both to the wet sand. I panted and brushed away the wet hair plastered on his face. I couldn't start to explain how much I missed those eyes. How I missed when he and I would play chess, how we would banter just to distract the other, sometimes distracting ourselves. I would be too embarrassed to admit how much I missed when he would place a hand on my waist and the heat that would stay on the spot long after the hand was gone. "It appears you've lost grace in your years of retirement, Your Majesty." I teased, intensifying the accent most royals would use back then.

He caressed my cheek "Indeed. I recall, however, that it was you who pounced on me." His voice was deeper and I ashamedly admit he had become more handsome too.

I laughed "That brought so many memories. Oh Aslan," I hid my face on his chest "when those women pestered me about how to seduce you they drove me mad." His chest shook, I looked up and saw Edmund with his face scrunched up, laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. "When you came running and hid in my room, you looked half mad already. Your hair was a mess and your armor was practically dangling from your shoulder. And when I suggested under the bed you pretty much threw yourself and miraculously didn't knock yourself out with the floor!"

"It worked." I defended myself.

"Of course." he snorted "They followed you like bloodhounds all the way to my room and when they saw me they..." Edmund shook his head "They tied me in a chair for crying out loud!"

I couldn't hold myself "Good thing I was there to save you King in distress."

Smiling he pulled me closer "I owe you my gratitude then." and kissed me. His lips were warm and salty from the water. I kissed back and boldly teased his lower lip. I could feel him smile in the kiss, and I couldn't hold back mine. He made me forget and that was what I so desperately wanted.

"Julia, we know you're happy, but would you be so kind to let my brother breathe? I think he needs it." Susan said.

I sheepishly got off Edmund and stood up. I brushed the sand of my uniform as best as I could. "Hey love birds!" Gabriel called. I rolled my eyes and drwaled "What?"

"Were there any ruins in Narnia back then?"

I frown and follow his line of sight, finding that the actually were ruins up the mountain. It was mostly strange because the only castle I ever knew that existed, in Narnia, and so close to the beach was Cair Paravel.

A/N: This is definitely the longest chapter I've ever posted, I didn't intend it to be so, but I kinda had a hard time stopping or starting or continuing. Given, school work and laziness aren't the best combination, but now that I have a long weekend I've decided to finish and post this chapter. God, I haven't even gotten close to half the movie! *sigh* Maybe To Fight will be slightly longer than To Learn but it's too soon to tell. I have ideas for other Fanfics but this is the one I'm mostly sure to continue, I know what Julia's role is and the ending of her journey, but don't panic. It's still a long way to go. Meanwhile, review, read, and hopefully follow the story (messed up the order didn't I?). Ciao!