You are now Dave. Just Dave. What next?
Well, you're actually quite sick of John's constant absence. However, you're not quite sure how to deal with that. In the past, when John got quiet, you simply stopped typing until he got on Skype and told you everything. It's a lot harder to do things in person. You don't have time to think about what you're saying, you can't see your own words, or edit them, and body language actually counts for something, it's just so much harder, and the only in-person type interaction you know you can handle for sure is a good strife. However, unlike that of you and your actual bro, the interactions between you and your honorary bro need to be a bit more.. delicate, to say the least.
So, naturally, you settle for the next best thing, which is, in your opinion, laying on your stomach in the middle of can town, a wild mayor toying around innocently, as you bitch about the entire thing to Rose.
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]
TG: hey yo lalonde
TG: you there
TG: im kinda in the middle of a crisis here
TG: well as close to a crisis as the coolest guy ever can get
TG: which is pretty much like an honest to god crisis now
TG: only with some rad shades and the coolest town ever
TG: a democracy of my own construction
TG: well along with terezi and the mayor
TG: mostly them actually but still
TG; anyway are you there
TG: itd be real nice if youd stop macking on your xeno gf for a minute here
TG: this is actual unironic shit that needs discussion
TG: god damn it rose get on
TG: get the fuck on already
TG: fuck
TG: im about to morph into a cooler vantas here
TG: sprout my wings of anger in a truly beautiful display of natures power
TG: all the other hate angels will be so jealous of my glorious limbs
TG: rose
TG: come
TT: Alright, Dave. What is it you felt the need to send me eighteen messages about?
TG: on
TT: And really. I would have expected you to at least do it rhythmically.
TT: I'm quite disappointed, to be honest.
TG: oh my fucking god cut the shit
TT: What is this? The great Dave Strider wants to cut the shit?
TT: And to think I spend this entire time under the impression that he was all about the shit.
TG: shut up im serious
TG: just tell me what to do
TT: In regards to what? You seem to have forgotten, yet again, that I am not, in fact, omniscient.
TG: come on
TG: you dont even have to be omniscient to know
TG: everyone on the fucking meteor knows
TG: like i know
TG: kitkat knows
TG: kanaya and you know
TG: i bet even the juggalo knows
TG: of course that means hes told the bodies too
TG: so theyre down there talking about it like wheres john huh
TG: cuz what else are they gonna do
TG: and since theyre talking about it all those dead uses and trolls know
TG: they knew within five minutes of the fact of course
TG: even egbert which would be saying alot but seeing as this is pretty much all about him
TG: yeah
TT: So you're referring to his evasive behavior as of late?
TG: no shit you figured that out all by yourself
TG: you really are the genius youre known as
TG: truly fucking brilliant
TG: hey you know what would be good
TG: if you could just fucking instruct me already
TT: Just ask him what's going on.
TG: yeah i guess i had that coming
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]
You opt to do the obvious thing, pausing to take a breath before reaching to the laptop's shitty mouse-pad thingy, you don't even know what that's called, but god, do you fucking hate it. After several swipes that only get you a few inches across the screen each, you finally reach your destination; the mouse icon hovers over John's handle for a second while you adjust your hand to use the equally shitty clicker-thing below said pad.
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
TG: hey yo egbert
TG: yo
TG: dude
TG: come on dont fucking ignore me
TG: what is it national ignore dave day
TG: although since we arent a nations i guess it would be meteoral
TG: or maybe we should count us as a town
TG: i mean we do have a mayor so
TG: its town wide ignore dave day
TG: lets see if hell actually go through with his threat to morph into kitkat 2.0
EB: wait, what?
EB: dave what the fuck are you talking about?
TG: it seems like everyones ignoring me today
TG: like first rose now you
TG: whats next karkat refusing to take my bait
EB: i'm sorry about you getting ignored, but you really should stop pissing karkat off.
EB: it's really pointless.
TG: no its not what else am i gonna do
TG: rose is well you know what she spends her time doing
TG: there only so much terezi a guy can take
TG: kanayas also doing exactly what you know shes doing
TG: and youre off hiding in your room or some shit
TG: thats actually the whole reason im pestering you so
TG: basically would you mind telling me what the fucks up
EB: um nothing really.
TG: dude at least try to lie better
TG: youre so obvious its not even funny like just no
EB: dude im not lying!
EB: nothings up
TG: bullshit
TG: spill the beans derpass
TG: and for taking so long
TG: im gonna take all of them
TG: im gonna snatch them all before you get a chance to taste their beany goodness
TG: then im gonna cook them all for myself
TG: youll never get to try either
TG: because stingy fucks dont get beans
EB: dave stop. you suck at metaphors.
TG: not the point
TG: the point is you spilling your beans
TG: and youve made it perfectly clear with your monosyllabic responses that your not gonna do that here
TG: ill see you in a couple minutes
TG: those beans will be mine
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
You snap your laptop shut.