Three months later. (So, Blaine has now been dating Kurt three months and living with the Hummels for nine months.) Had to skip some time, just assume that the last three months in this verse have been full of fluff, some of which you will get to read in a few chapters in a Blaine's journal centric chapter.

Oh, and it's a long one so I expect twice as many reviews ;-p No, seriously thank you for all your support it's great to know that even though I've been writing this for a while and at time's the updates haven't been too frequent (moving from Canada to London to Rome is time consuming) and that it is at times riddled with dyslexic mistakes, that people are being patient with me and still reading and new readers are finding it.

Kurt woke up and stretched the little knot out of his back. Still night, why had he woken up? His mouth was a little dry so he got up to go get a drink of water. When he opened the door he heard the little groans. He walked quickly and quietly to Blaine's door. He opened the door and rushed over to the bed turning on the lamp. Blaine's back was arched as he gave little moans of pain. Kurt froze for a minute, it hurt his chest to see his boyfriend like this. He sat down on the bed and took Blaine's shoulders.

"Blaine, Blaine sweetie. You're safe, I'm here. Wake up sweetie."

Blaine's brows furrowed. Kurt placed his hand over his eyebrows as if to try and sooth him, his skin was hot and damp.

"Blaine, Hun." Kurt said softly.

Blaine opened his eyes looking around panicked. When his glance came to rest on Kurt he sat up and threw his arms around him. Kurt held him back. They didn't speak until Blaine had stopped shaking and the tears that were running down his cheeks had changed into sadness rather than fear. Blaine pulled away and he looked down at his bedsheets smoothing the greenish yellow bedspread.

"When you first arrived I gave you that one because I thought it matched your eyes." Kurt said for something to say, something normal, something not to do with what was happening so that he could show Blaine that they didn't have to talk about it.

Blaine took a deep breath and looked at Kurt.

"Don't say it." Kurt begged.

Blaine looked up.

"It's the first nightmare you've had in two months. You're getting better."

It was the wrong word to say.

"Kurt, I will never be better. There are things I will never be able to give you."

"You give me enough. Please, Blaine. Let's just sleep, you'll feel better in the morning."

Blaine hunched his shoulders. Kurt put his hand on his back.

"Unless you want to talk about what the nightmare was about."

Blaine ran his fingers through his hair, all hunched over he was in a worse state than Kurt had seen him in since they had started dating.

"Kurt, these three months have been the happiest of my life. I mean it, happier than before I was a slave."

Kurt bent his head down to rest on Blaine's shoulders.

"I know you have trouble believing it but it's the same for me."

Kurt put his hand on Blaine's cheek, taut from the dried tears and slightly prickly from having not shaved.

"Please, let's just sleep."

He laid down awkwardly and held his arm's out. Blaine sighed and lied down with him resting his head on Kurt's chest. It felt for Kurt as if he was right where he was meant to be, they were . Kurt held him tightly and kissed his forehead. He knew he wouldn't sleep for a while so he hummed gently to him.

"I write everything I remember in my journal."

Blaine said after twenty minutes or so.

Kurt tilted his head down but could only see curls.

"Does it help?"

"Yes. But it doesn't cure."

"What about a therapist. Maybe we could find somebody?"

"You know I can't talk about it."

"But with somebody you could trust not to tell anybody."

"I can't tell you and I trust you more than anybody in the world."

"It's just time then. It's only been nine months, you've come so far in that time. If you could only see how far you've come."

"If you only knew what my mind still holds on to."

"Tell me one thing then, one thing at a time. It'll look smaller if we tackle it in little chunks."

"Even the little chunks seem to hard to handle."

"Don't pick something emotional then, where did you sleep?"

Blaine seemed to think for a while and then started talking.

"I slept in a cell. It was the length of single bed and perhaps three times the width. It was concrete with a metal door and a small window with bars. I could see shadows of the guards through the gap under the door at night. And when I hid under the bed there was a stain under the bed. It always smelt of vomit and disinfection, even weeks after I'd stopped vomiting."

Kurt listened and held on to him. He didn't cry, it hurt to know how alone Blaine had been, how somebody faultless and without crime could be kept locked up like that. But he didn't cry, he'd save his tears for when Blaine told him about the man, the one who still scared him even now when he knew he was safe. Blaine grew quiet for a while and then seemed to want to continue. So Kurt rubbed his hands along his back.

"At first food was pushed through the doors but once they knew they'd broken us we ate together in a big hall. Beef broth and bread and carrots everyday but never enough of it. At least, I think it was beef broth. We weren't allowed to talk to each other in the halls but there were conversations through the bars in the last few weeks. Between the guards rounds."

Kurt hummed to show he was listening. He continued to stroke along Blaine's back and waited patiently knowing that Blaine was thinking about what was going on.

"There were six trainers for ever two dozen slaves. They kept us in blocks of that many but I think there were more of us. There were twice as many guards as trainers of course. The slaves were as young as fourteen and none older than twenty two. Some were aggressive, they talked differently so I would guess they were from the slum areas. I don't know though, I guess I've always known about the slums but never thought of them."

"It's unfortunate that there are still those places around."

"They would have got rid of them if it weren't for the crash."

Kurt nodded.

"So, what were they like? The other slaves?"

"Do you mean were they mass murders without a shred of morals?"

"Not in those words."

"All I know is that they were as scared as I was. That they suffered as much as I did. They may not have all been allowed an education and some of them may have committed some kind of crime but you can't tell me they didn't have feelings. You can't tell me that what they did to them was a punishment they deserved, that the trainers aren't worse people than the slaves. And I say that just from the three months of hell I had to live through, then I got you but all those others, they're still living it if they're still alive. I'm so lucky."

"It's strange to think that you only came to me as a badly thought out political ploy. It was such a stroke of luck that it was you. Is that a strange thing to say? I mean, I would of course prefer it if we'd of met whilst you were still with you're family and..."
"I understand." Blaine said with a yawn. "Let's sleep now."

"Yes." Kurt agreed kissing the top of Blaine's head.

"Won't your Dad be annoyed if he finds out you slept here."

"For a little while perhaps, but let him be."

It was so nice to wake up in his boyfriends arms and though they had woken up like this a couple of times but they hadn't been able to do this since they had become boyfriends. Despite the fact that Carol and Burt had both been okay with Kurt and Blaine dating that didn't mean that they hadn't laid down the rules a couple of days after the dinner when they had accidentally revealed their relationship. Kurt and Blaine were allowed to be in each others rooms before dinner but afterwards they had to leave their doors wide open.

"Hey." Blaine said with a yawn.

"You're awake." Kurt looked up with a smile he snuggled closer into his boyfriends chest. He was so warm and cozy and safe feeling.

"This is so nice." Kurt said with a sigh.

"Hmmm." Blaine said holding him closer. "Can we just stay here for ever."

"I'll consider it if you kiss me." Kurt said sitting up and looking down at his simply adorable boyfriend.

Blaine reached up and rubbed his fingers along Kurt's scalp which as long as Kurt could restyle afterwards he loved. It felt so his lips were on his, practiced and confident at time they just threw that all away and kissed romantically and sloppy.

After three months together Blaine was still stunningly beautiful, his kisses were still exciting, he still felt dizzy and amazed at the idea they were together. Kurt could feel hands running down his back and gave a light groan. They'd not done more than kiss on the mouth or the neck and run their hands over each others backs and sides. Kurt tended to let Blaine start anything more than the light kissing. Once or twice things between them had got pretty heated, their bodies pressed close together, their breath coming quickly always lying on their sides because Kurt knew , just knew without being told that being on top of Blaine was going to freak him out.
Kurt always had to suggest that they stop at those times so as not to loose control and pushed some of Blaine's limits.

He had really started to understand what his Dad had meant though, this thing was addictive. Something had woken up in him and it was a little scary especially as he didn't want to lose Blaine because of it but his thoughts were getting far more vivid and a lot less innocent.

It would be a long time till he was ready but yeah, sex, he thought he was starting to get it. He wanted to touch bare skin, that was his main focus, he knew what he could have and what he couldn't have with Blaine and what he could have was more than enough so for now it was the idea of touching warm smooth bare skin that he was obsessed with. But for Blaine every moment like this had to feel safe. He was going to have to wait for it and the waiting although frustrating was also tantalizing.

The kissing was getting more hungry as Kurt thought about it. Blaine was giving little groans against his lips and Kurt smiled as he found that little spot on his boyfriends neck that made him give another groan because god he loved that sound. Then he realized that he was getting hard. He must have realized at the same time as Blaine because he pulled away breathing heavily.

"Sorry, well you know." Kurt said. "You're a boy too so I guess you know what I'm talking about. Guess that's the good thing about two guys being together we don't have to explain how our bodies work to each other."
Blaine froze and tensed up.

"Blaine, what is it?"

Blaine looked away from him for a long moment then just as Kurt was going to ask again he seemed to shake it off and talk again.

"Kurt I'm sorry about last night, I'm sorry that you have to put up with.

Kurt put his fingers on Blaine's mouth and replaced them seconds later with a quick kiss.

"Shh, Blaine its fine. Just have a little patience you're still healing."

"I just hate having woken you up in the night and .."

"I said shh." Kurt said kissing him again with a little giggle at his own forcefulness and running his hands back through Blaine's hair

"When I see you in pain my heart feels numb but knowing that you trust me to hold you and try to help takes that away."

"Just hold me close
Inside your arms tonight
Don't be too hard on my emotions
'Cause I need time
My heart is numb, has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little patience
I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong
Believe me I'm trying to move on." Blaine sung.

Kurt stared at him. He'd never heard that song before. And he knew why. It was just kind of mind blowing.

"Did you just come up with that?"

Blaine nodded.

"You are so talented."

Blaine was about to say something when they were interrupted by a knock at the door. Blaine and Kurt shared a quick look of panic before a voice came through the door.

"Blaine can I have a word with Kurt?" Burt's voice said in a way that was clearly not a question.

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other a little worried though they knew nothing bad could happen.

Kurt sighed and got up and opened the door quickly closing it behind him so Blaine wouldn't have to hear the conversation. He'd tell him about it later thing's could sound better once the emotions had pasted.

"Dad you know nothing happened." Kurt said quickly. Burt looked at him for a long moment then gave a short nod.

"Is he alright?"

Kurt not expecting the irritation not concerned.

"Yeah he's fine, just a nightmare."

Burt nodded.

"I'd hoped those had stopped."

"They're getting better."

Burt nodded.

"Anyhow that's not what this is about. I just realized the tax disk on my van has run out. Yes, I know I should be more careful about these things you don't have to lecture me but I was just wondering if you'd mind giving your old man the run around."

"Sure." Kurt said glad to have escaped without having more restrictions put on his time with Blaine. "What do you need?"

"My appointment with the cardiologist is this morning?"

"The scan, I'd forgotten about that." Kurt said, he'd been worried about it the previous day but Blaine's problems had stopped.

"Yeah just to check that no permanent damage has been done this time."

"I hope so."

"Well I feel fine and I felt fine a lot quicker than I did last time. Anyway you'll probably be missing a bit of school. Ill write a note, that's if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah its okay, are you coming back here afterwards?"

"No, I'm spending the afternoon at the garage."

Kurt nodded, his dad had changed his hours after the last scare so that he only worked a couple of afternoons a month at the garage mainly paperwork type things. He had offered a management position to one of his longest standing employees along with handing him over ten percent stock. It had all turned out well and Kurt knew that when he and Finn graduated Finn would be handed over full control and his Dad would then just have his political duties to take care of.

"I'll need you to pick me up after school as well."

Kurt nodded. He hadn't had many chances to go into the garage since Blaine had been working there but on the couple he had he knew he definitely liked to see Blaine work, he was happy there, he talked a little with the other guys. Plus seeing him sweaty and flushed and a little greasy was a surprising turn on for Kurt.

"And it gives me a chance to talk to that work experience boy. The guys say they'll be glad to get rid of him he's slow and lazy."

"I thought he was only going to be there for two weeks?"

"Yeah, but the end of that two weeks cant come soon enough."

"Okay. See you in a bit."

Kurt turned to go back into Blaine's bedroom.

"Kurt, your own room."

Kurt sighed and walked into his own room to get ready for the day. He felt rather annoyed that he couldn't get a few more minutes cuddling with Blaine. The evening when they could be together again seemed a long way off.

This book contains so many of my confessions and so many are hard to write but this one is hard for different reasons. Is it embarrassment or shame? There are so many things I can't tell you but most of them are my past and this is present. There are so many things I can't give you but this one hurts. I've had to deal with not being classed as Human now I have to cope with not being a man. I lost so many things and maybe this one shouldn't bother me, I mean even if I could, I couldn't.

Why can't I just come out and say it. You've accepted everything else.

Kurt, I haven't had an erection since I was taken into slavery.

Kurt fiddled with his thumbs. Then got up and paced the small distance of the waiting room. Then reaching the end wall turned back and did it again. Then sitting in the exact same spot as previous he reached for an old copy of vogue. April, of last year. The worst edition in a long time. He tried to concentrate for a few moments then threw it back down on the table with a sigh. How long was this going to take? His Dad had already been in there for he checked his watch, fifty five minutes. Only two minutes since he last looked. Danm he was going to go nuts if this carried on much longer. He got his phone out and started texting the only person who he could stand when he was this frustrated.

Hows work?

It took three and a half minutes for Blaine to answer but in that time Kurt had already walked back and forth across the room another seven times and read the jokes page on a three year old page of readers digest and considered going to buy some crisps.

A windscreen change and two tire changes. Used quiet period on read up on french revolution. How's Burt?

Don't know yet.

Trying to distract yourself by txting?

Yes.

Think about tonight.

Kurt frowned. Did they have plans for that night, he just couldn't remember. He didn't think so.

Sorry, what's tonight.

Another night when I kiss you senseless.

Kurt smiled. Senseless was probably the right word, sometimes it was literally painful for Kurt to pull himself away from Blaine so he wouldn't do something stupid.

No, I think I'll be the one kissing you senseless.

Promise?

Cheeky.

You love it.

The door opened and it took Kurt a moment to look up. His Dad was stood there with a little smile.

"Dad." Kurt said standing up. "What did they say?"

"No permanent damage. I'm as strong as an Ox and with the changes I've been making I'm even fitter than before."

Kurt gave a relieved sigh and rested his head against his fathers shoulder. They hugged for a few seconds. Kurt felt his eyes water but blinked back the tears.

"I'm so happy you're okay."

Kurt arrived at school just in time for lunch. Which was a blessing as he'd not felt like eating at breakfast and was suddenly starving. He lined up and got himself some pasta and vegetables. Today felt like a day for carbs.

"Kurt!" Blaine looked up and saw Mercedes stood up and waving at him from a table towards the back. Tina and Rachel and Brittany were with her. Kurt motioned that he would be joining them in a moment and finished helping himself to lunch.

"Hey Kurt, how's you Dad?" Tina asked as he sat down.

"He's fine Tina Thank you for asking. The scan showed no permanent damage."

"That's good."

"More than good. That's fantastic." Mercedes said.

"Oh, I'm so glad. It's been such a stressful time for Finn and as he's my boyfriends that's a stressful for me." Rachel said.

"Moving on." Mercedes interrupted. "So when are we going to see Blaine again, its been ages since he's come out with us."

Kurt nodded, Blaine had gone out with some of the people from glee club. Never more than four or five of them and always with Kurt. He was always quieter then when they were on his own but he did talk and he seemed to get on well with Tina, Kurt had seen them having some quiet conversations to themselves when they had gone to the movies together then another time when they'd all gone to the mall. But it was true that it had been a month since Blaine had joined them. He always asked when he was going out but Blaine seemed to have taken on a few extra tasks at the studying he used to do in the office in quiet periods he now did in the evenings at home.

"He just gets busy with work and trying to keep up with some studies."

"He studies?" Rachel asked.

"He tries, its not like we can get him a tutor but he has all the text books and exercises and things." Kurt said, really did she think he was incapable of keeping up study without a school to do it in. He was smart, he'd be an A student if they let him take the exams.

"Did I see him sneaking past last Thursday?" Mercedes asked.

"Yeah, he's here every Thursday playing the piano but now he's got a keyboard he sometimes sneaks off to the gym instead."

"Well the boy is buff."

"Hmm.. "Kurt said raising his eyebrow as he took a deep sip of his coffee. He could not deny it nor would he. He's boyfriend was gorgeous but that was only a small slice of the amazingness that was Blaine.

that they had another movie date and as it was a dance style film so Blaine would want to go. And Mick would be there and with him being rather quiet Blaine would probably find him less intimidating than the others. If only he'd let his real self show when they were around. The Blaine Kurt had been getting to know the last few months was anything but shy.

"You'd better because if you keep keeping that boyo to yourself were going to get mad at you."

"Yeah Kurt share." Tina smiled.

Kurt laughed.

"I don't think your he's type."

Kurt parked his car in the garage lot and walked quickly towards the garage. He was going to get to see Blaine and after a stressful day that was all he wanted. Yes, he was relieved about his Dad but he still had a pain in his temples that needed to be kissed away.

He gave a quick smile to one of the guys.

"Your Dad's in the office, if that's who you're looking for." The cheeky smile was just testimony to how accepting some people could be despite the laws and propaganda against homosexual people.

"Thanks." Kurt said and headed for the office, though he did notice a certain pair of high top boots peaking out from under a blue pick up. He smiled, he'd just say a few words to his Dad and then he could have much time as he liked with Blaine. As he poked his head around the door of the office he saw his Dad sat at the desk. He was staring intensely at his calculator.

"Payroll?"

He looked up.

"No, I think we were overcharged for some parts, I'm going to have to ring my provider. How was school?"

"The usual."

Kurt must have sounded resigned because his Dad looked up at him with a serious expression.

"Any trouble?"

"No, no. I didn't mean that, just the usual insults thrown at me but since Korofsky decided to transfer to that school with the better football team there's not been anything but insults and I'm used to shrugging them off."

"You shouldn't have to be."

"I can't change the world whilst I'm in high school. Just wait till a few years after I graduate."

Burt chuckled.

"Just don't go into politics."

"Like they'd let me. So.. how long do you think you're going to be."

"I'm sorry kiddo, it's going to be a while."

"And by while you mean..."

"I'll keep it to forty minutes, an hour tops. Tonight we're going to celebrate."

"Breadsticks?"

"Yep. And don't give me that look i'll be celebrating with a salad. You'll have to have the pasta for me."

"Pasta twice in one day, nope I can't do it. But I'm sure if you asked Blaine and Finn they'd both eat a massive dessert for you."

"I'm sure they would, I don't quite get what Carol says about growing boys having to eat a lot. Blaine doesn't seem to ever grow and If it's the food making Finn grow then she should have stopped feeding him years ago."

"Hey, leave my hobbit alone."

"Are those the ones with the hairy feet?"

"Yuck, no comment."

"Get out of here i'll never be done if you keep distracting me."

"I'm going, I'm going."

"And don't detract Blaine either."

"I didn't hear you." Kurt said in a sing song voice as he closed the door.

Kurt practically danced back t the blue pick up truck. He deliberately made his steps quite loud as he got near, he didn't want to startle his boyfriend into banging his head. First rule of the garage don't scar the person under the big chunk of metal.

"Well aren't you the cutest grease monkey I ever did see."

Blaine's hand came from out behind one of the wheels. His sleeves ridden up to show the thick black bands he wore underneath them to ensure his slave tattoo's were hidden. He never took them off, even when with Kurt.

"Hi, hand me the quarter wrench."

"Well that's a nice hello." Kurt said handing him the wrench.

"I'll give you a nice hello in a minute." Blaine said giving a little grunt as he tightened something under the car.

Kurt wished he was wearing a little less so he could watch the muscle bunching.

"Done." He announced after another minute and he wheeled himself out from under the car, Kurt hid a little grin when he saw that his hair was pushed back out of his eyes with a sweat band. It looked like it was getting time for another hair cut though Kurt loved the bouncy curls he doubted they would look good shoulder length. Kurt held out his hand to help him up and Blaine accepted with a wide welcoming smile. Once he was firmly on is feet he wrapped his arms around Kurt in a bear hug.

"Uh new season, new season." Kurt said lightly pushing him away. He might love his boyfriend but he was not going to let him ruin one of his outfits by covering it in oil.

Blaine just laughed and gave him a peck on the cheek. They never talked about it but the guys at the garage knew they were a couple and just left them too it. But this time as Blaine's lips grazed his skin he heard a little chocked sound behind them. He turned quickly and saw a boy he didn't know, about his age he'd guess looking at them with shock and disgust.

"Whose that?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Tony, work experience guy." The disapproval in Blaine's voice was obvious. "Lets go get a cup of tea in the back room." He suggested. Kurt nodded.

"Your dad cutting down he's hours works for the short term but eventually we are going to need somebody whose going to take over full time."

Kurt nodded, John was one for his Dad's oldest employees and he usually knew what was going on in the garage better than anyone else.

"Well Finn hasn't decided what he's going to do yet. He might decide he wants to take on the garage. He'd pobably need some guidance at first but he's not a dumb as he lets on."

"But he might go to college."

"If he does I'm sure Burt will find a way." Blaine said. "He might be at Washington most of the time but he still cares about the garage."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't ask you."

Blaine gaped for a few seconds before he shook his head with a smile.

"Me? no come on."

"Yeah you, you're fast on the uptake your smart. Yeah your young but you know the ropes."

They all turned as they heard a cruel laugh behind them. Tony was stood behind them a sneer on his ferret face.

"Oh come, you need a real man to do this job."

"What you saying boy?" John asked step forwards his arms folded across his chest.

Tony obviously wasn't intimidated.

"I'm saying, no stupid girly poofter can run a garage."

"I'm not girly and my sexuality has nothing to do with if I can work here or not." Blaine said calmly.

"Or yeah, you're right he's" Tony pointed at Kurt. "The girly one, still you're not a real man though are you.."

It took Kurt's mind a few second to catch on to what was happening and by the time he did Blaine was sprawled on the floor on top of Tony holding him up by the scruff of his jacket and then punching him square in the mouth.

"Blaine stop!"

Tony didn't take long to get over the shock of being tackled to the floor and after a few seconds of wiggling and grabbing at each other he had managed to get his arm free and punch Blaine back.

"Stop It!" Kurt shouted again

"Whats going on?" Burt's voice seemed to reverberate around the open space then he was walking past Kurt and grabbing the two boys grappling each other on the floor. He pushed them apart.

"You." He said pointing at Blaine. "Into my office."

"You." He said pointing at Tony. "Get out."

"Hey he started it."

"That's not true. Tony was making homophobic comments Burt." John said stepping forwards, Kurt suddenly noticed that all the guys had stopped working and were standing at some distance away watching them.

"We don't have that in my garage. Now get out."

John took Tony by the elbow.

"Come on." He said indicating the doors.

"Blaine. Office." Burt said turning to stare at Blaine.

Kurt dumbly followed his boyfriend and father into the little room.

On some level he was too shocked to understand what was going on. Blaine didn't have violent impulses, really he didn't. Yes he used the punching bag at school but Kurt had never thought he would hit another person. And now he was sitting in the chair across father having started a fight at his place of work. Kurt found himself standing in the corner not knowing what to do. Blood was dribbling down Blaine's chin from a split lip but though Kurt wanted to step forwards and dab it away he didn't know how Blaine would react. He'd only seen him angry once before and that was so long ago before they were even friends. He was not used to feeling nervous around his boyfriend, not for a long time at least.

Kurt was trying not to freak out. He knew Blaine wouldn't loose his job and his Dad would never get too angry at Blaine but still this was a bad situation.

"Why do you think it's alright to throw a punch in my garage?" Burt asked after a long moment of silence.

"I don't." Blaine said sounding sincere.

"Do you know how much trouble you'd be in if any of those guys realized you were a slave? If Tony realized he'd been punched by a slave? You can't get away with that crap."

"I know." Blaine said still looking down. For once he was looking like an insolent teenager.

"Then why did you do it? I mean I know he was making comments but you've got to have heard them before. You can't loose your temper every time that somebody says something like that."

"He said I wasn't a real man." Blaine answered.

"So?"

Blaine shot a nervous look at Kurt. At first he thought Blaine was asking for his help and support and he took a half step forwards then he realized it was something else something he hadn't seen before. Blaine didn't want him to hear what he was going to say.

Burt followed Blaine's gaze.

"Kurt, could you leave us?"

Kurt nodded. What else could he do? He really didn't understand why Blaine would want him to leave? What was Blaine able to say to his Dad that he couldn't say to him? It hurt, and it made him feel so curious. He knew it was wrong but as he closed the door he sunk down on the floor next to it so that he could just make out the voices though they were a little muffled. He just needed to know what was going on in Blaine's head and why he didn't want him to know.

"Come on Blaine, why did you hit him?" His Dad just sounded tired, and after the good news they'd had that morning as well.

"I told you, he said I wasn't a real man."

"So?"

"He's right."

"What do you mean?" There was no anger left in Burt's voice just concern.

Kurt could tell Blaine was crying from the long silence and all he wanted was to burst in and hug him.

"Come on kid, you'll feel better once you get it out."

"It doesn't work." The murmur was so quiet Kurt could hardly hear him.

"What doesn't work?"

"It. IT!" This time it was shouted.

"Oh.. you mean, you cant ..."

"My dick doesn't work. "

Kurt felt his breath hitch in his throat. Blaine was... Blaine couldn't.. he hadn't noticed. He hadn't even considered. But it made sense. Yes, it all clicked into place but Kurt didn't know what to think. This was just all too much, too shocking. His fingers were still trembling from the fight. The long pause was broken by Burt.

"Ill take you to the docs, its time to get serious about trying to find a councilor."

"I don't want to talk to people about the stuff that happened."

"I know, but you should try."

Blaine didn't answer.

"Look, I want you to be happy and a part of that is selfish. I want Kurt to be happy and, don't look at me like that I'm not saying that. Kurt loves you when he says he doesn't care that things between you are going to be slow he doesn't. No, I don't know what you've talked about but I can guess. You know that when you're unhappy and frustrated then it hurts him, so I want you to try. For him."

"I'd do anything for him."

"I know. He'd do anything for you to."

"If you can find somebody I'll go. I just, I just wish that this one thing could be easy. That I could just be happy, Kurt is the best thing I've got. The only thing I've got. I mean.. I appreciate my job at the garage."

"Nothing beats love. I know, I remember. Oh, I love Carol but we both know that our first spouses were the true loves of our lives. When I see Kurt happy with you it kind of reminds me of when I was young. This thing, don't let it ruin what you've got. I know Kurt is a bit shy, well I think I know Kurt's a bit shy about these things but if you talk about it with him he'll listen. I think this is just something that needs to heal to, in fact I know, because after my heart attack I had the same problem, and yeah, I was embarrassed to tell anybody and frustrated and If I could have punched out some punk kid maybe I would have. I talked to somebody and got it sorted but it took time and I guess with you it'll take more time. Just another thing that has to heal."

"I just have to be patient."

"Yeah."

"That's just what Kurt said this morning."

"Everybody who cares about you just wants you to get well, at your own pace. But if we can help you in anyway then we will. And sometimes that will include a little push, when we have faith you can handle it."

Blaine sighed.

"Please don't mention this to him. I .. I need to tell him when I'm ready."

Kurt stood up and quietly walked away.

No flashback just because this seems like a good place to leave it. And perhaps as Blaine gets better he'll have less flashbacks and more writing in his journal or just talking to people.