Complications of Boat Life

Although it has been almost six years since I first met Xander, I still remember it like it was yesterday. There's something about that guy that makes him easy to remember, and hard to forget –just ask Jessie. But honestly, Xander is a guy who leaves lasting impressions.

It was cold, six years ago. So cold, it was burning. My father had always told me that the sea was treacherous, but I didn't know what he really meant until that day. I remember that day so clearly and yet so distantly. It is a memory that is part recollected and part forgotten. Maybe because somewhere, deep in my mind I had wanted to forget. But the part recollected was how cold it felt. I remember thinking that that was what hellfire must have felt like, so cold it was burning.

And an angel saved me. An angel with golden eyes so bright they gleamed. He saved me from that cold, burning hell. I loved my angel. Now I think back and wonder how on earth I would confuse Xander with an angel. But I guess it makes sense to some degree. Even then, his gold eyes were just as brilliant as they are now, and before, his smile was something I couldn't compare to anything. He doesn't smile like that anymore. I miss the angel that saved me, but I guess what was before can't possibly return anymore.

I loved my angel long before I ever looked at him. I loved his voice, which told me that I had a chance to live when I'd given up. His voice told me I would be okay. His voice that told me his name. Xander.

I loved his hands that bandaged my wounds. His hands, with their long fingers, even when he was a child, six years ago.

But most of all, I loved his heart. His heart wasn't fake, like some of the hearts (heart) I've known. His heart was warm, and it was real. His heart liked me for who I was. I thank him for that. And his heart led me to so many other hearts and to so many other people and I thank him for that. Oh yes, I loved my angel.

My angel was what I dreamt of when I blacked out, and what I remembered when I woke.

"W-where am I …?" I mumbled to myself when I woke those years ago. I looked around me. I was on a boat of some sort. A lifeboat? It didn't look anything like the Titania. Wait. What had happened to the Titania? And with a rush, the memories of the night before came to me and trampled me underfoot. I couldn't breathe. I felt my mouth open and close with hysteria, and my vision went too colourful, reds and greens appearing when I should have only been seeing blue. I slumped over to my side and introduced my face to the floor.

"Hey, are you okay?" I heard a voice say, and then in a lower tone, "um…what was her name again….Vanessa? Veronica?" and he named a bunch more names before I felt good enough to sit up and say,

"Valentina. My name is Valentina." A flash of recognition had flashed through his eyes when I said that.

"Right! But I can call you Val, right?"

"Y-yeah."

"Great!" My vision was clearing up and I saw him come closer as he said that. He held out his hand.

"I'm Alexander," he said as I slowly gave him my hand, "it's a pleasure to meet you, Val!"

"R-right…"

That's what he said, all those years ago, but I couldn't help feeling that something was a bit off in the boy before me. His eyes held an emotion I couldn't recognise. And there was something about the way he seemed when he thought I wasn't looking.

Life on the boat was relatively simple and almost boring. Every morning, Xander would almost always be up before I was, and already have laid out all the supplies we would need for the day. We ate, sat around and did nothing, ate some more and go to bed. I tried starting a conversation with him more than once, and although I sensed that he was sincerely trying, just like I was, the conversations usually died off into silences. It stayed like this until one morning, I woke up with an urgent need to pee.

This, for obvious reasons, wasn't good. Even though I was only ten at the time, I still had a sense of privacy, and no matter how I thought to phrase it, it made for an instant awkward situation. However, being ten, I didn't particularly dislike the occasional awkward situation either.

"I need to go to the washroom."

"Oh."

"No, I really mean it."

"Oh…Wait, what?"

"I need to go to the washroom." That was how the conversation played out, at least, to the best of my recollection.

"Well, that's a problem."

"Yeah, no kidding." At this point, we both collapsed into silence, trying to solve the problem. I looked around the boat, looking for something that might help. I knew for a fact that one of the reasons that Xander got up earlier was to "do his business" off the boat without me noticing, but it wasn't like I could just do that. As I glanced around the boat for the second time, I noticed that Xander was doing the same, and it wasn't long before our eyes met.

"Uh."

"Well."

"Um."

"Yeah." A few attempts to speak ended in failure. As I looked at him, his mouth twitched. A laugh escaped from him, and his bit his lip, trying to stop, but the damage was done. I giggled. And laughed, and he did too. Soon, the air was filled with the sounds of our laughter.

After a couple of minutes spent on laughter on the floor of the boat, I rolled over from my position on my side to my back to look at the sky. I realised with a start that it was my first actual conversation with Xander and I smiled to myself. I look over to Xander and see that he's still laughing.

"Shut up, it's not that funny, Jesus!"

After a few silent gasps, he replied, "Yes it is!" but it wasn't long before he started laughing again.

"Gosh, Xander, will you please shut up!" He looked at me when I said that, then burst into laughter again. I threw a life jacket that was on the boat next me at him, but he easily dodged it. The lifejacket fell into the sea behind him

"What's so funny now?" I demanded.

"Y-you said my name wrong!" he giggled, "It's A-Alexander, and you s-said…" He didn't finish the sentence before collapsing into another fit of laughter again.

"What…?" I looked at him incredulously.

"Y-you said Xander." It was my turn to laugh.

"Oh my God, have you never heard of a nickname before? Do you live in a hole or something?"

"…What?"

"It's a nickname, a nickname, Xander…" This time, I was the one who didn't finish my sentence. I could feel his gaze on me.

"…No, actually…"

"What?" I giggled.

"…I've never had a nickname before…"

"Oh…," I stopped laughing, "…really…?"

"Yeah…"I was stupefied. I mean, what kind of kid never had a nickname? I would later learn of the hundred mysteries of Alexander Jeager, but at that moment, I was just sad for him.

"…I'm sorry…"

"What for?" He looked surprised.

"For laughing at you."

"It's fine," he smiled at me, "after all, I laughed at you too." Right! That reminded me of something…

"Xander..?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to go to the washroom…"

"…Right…"