"I need to inform you that usually sessions are confidential."

"This one isn't?"

"Well I was wondering why you asked for it to be recorded?"

"One day I want to be able to confess everything to my boyfriend. I thought I could give him this, if I can't bring myself to talk to him. Can I ask a question?"

"Usually I'm the one who does that but as this is the first session I'll make an allowance."

"Why did you take on my case? I know that's it's unusual."

"I want to know what makes us different."

"Do you mean as a gay man or as a slave?"

"Mainly as a slave. Does that bother you?"

"I appreciate that you're being honest with me."

"Now let's get to the real thing, why are you here?"

There was a crackling silence.

"I can't have sex with my boyfriend."

"Do you mean your master?"

"Yes. He's the man who legally owns me."

"But you refer to him as your boyfriend?"

"I was a gift for him but he doesn't believe in slavery. He never touched me and eventually I grew to trust him and we became friends then eventually more than friends."

"How long has he been your owner?"

"Almost ten months."

"And you've never had sex?"

"No."

"Does he expect you to top?"

"I don't know, we've never discussed it. And I've never thought of it."

"So tell me, what is the reason you can't have sex?"

"I have an erection problem."

"And what's the reason behind that?"

"Isn't that what I'm here to find out?"

"I want to know what you think the reason is?"

It was a long time before Blaine answered.

"I'm afraid."

"What of?"

"Being hurt again."

You're afraid that the sex will physically hurt?"

"No. I'm afraid that I'll have my heart broken.

"Why are you afraid that you'll get your heartbroken?"

"Eventually he's going to realize that I'm not what he wants. Then he's going to hate me because I was selfish and took away all the chances he had to have a brilliant first boyfriend, to fall in love and to loose his virginity with somebody for whom it was a special moment that they had waited for ad wanted and didn't spend the whole time terrified and thinking of some sadistic guy that raped and beat him."

"I guess we've got a place to start. You talk about rape, when was that?"

"I was trained as a sex slave, do you know what they do to people who are trained to be sex slaves?"

"No, why don't you tell me about it?"

"I was raped, twenty six times. If you class them all as rape."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that some of the sexual acts were not.." Blaine sighed. " I mean they made me do other things, Is wasn't always,.. their was oral sex and being taught how to pleasure a master in various ways."

"And you can remember every single time that you were forced to carry out one of these acts?"

"Yes. Is that strange?"

"No, do you know what we have to do?"

"No."

"Talk about every time and we'll talk about your boyfriend and why you don't think you're good enough for him. Then perhaps he can come into one of our sessions and tel you what he thinks of that. And we're going to talk about how we can detach these memories or rape from the situations you are in with your boyfriend so that you can feel safe when the two of you are having sexual contact."

Kurt couldn't figure out what was wrong with Blaine. He'd come in a little later than usual and Kurt was doing homework. Kurt felt rather disappointed when he looked at the clock and realized that it was late and Blaine hadn't come up to the his room and kissed him on the cheek like he usually did when he came in. Thinking he'd not returned yet Kurt had gone downstairs and found Blaine in the kitchen over the frying pan making curry. Kurt stared for a moment but shook the shock off, perhaps he just forgot, or was particularly hungry for chicken curry.

"Hi Hunny." He said walking past and kissing Blaine n his cheek "How was work?"

"Good."

Kurt froze for a moment. Blaine usually would give him some little detail of his life, some joke that one of the guys had said or a little annoyance or a flirtatious customer. He'd say something even on the most boring of days.

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked.

Blaine turned around with a false smile.

"Yes, of course." He pecked Kurt on the mouth. "Curry?"

"Sounds good." Kurt answered. He watched as Blaine turned back to the frying pan. It was obvious that something was wrong, and equally obvious that he didn't want to talk about it. Kurt thought for a moment about the best way to cheer him up.

"How about some Toy Story tonight?"

"No, I'm tired. I'm going to have an early night."

"Oh, okay."

"If you want to go watch it the curry's going to be another twenty minutes."

"Oh.. okay." Kurt said again. For a moment he wanted to cry and then he reminded himself that he was not always the best boyfriend either. He complained about silly little things like Rachel getting all the solo's or the jocks with their slushies. He could be a bitch at times about other peoples outfits and he did occasionally sulk. And when he did those things Blaine listened intently or held his hand or told him in gentle terms that he needed to be less judgmental. He couldn't hold a little moodiness against Blaine. So instead he went to watch toy story and when Blaine shouted that the curry was ready that sat side by side at the table barely saying a word.

As Blaine was putting away the dishes Kurt was silently begging that he would turn round and speak to him. His wishes were answered when Blaine hesitated in the doorway on the way to bed and turned around. For an instant he looked shy and downtrodden an echo of the slave that had arrived unannounced on their doorstep almost a year before. But when he started to speak Kurt could only concentrate on his words and not how he looked saying them.

"Kurt when you think of sex..what role do you think of?"

Kurt was in shock. It was not a question he was expecting. They didn't talk about sex. And Kurt blushed to think of the fact that Blaine knew he thought of sex though of course he did, they were teenage boys.

"I.. uh.. I don't know.. I'm not sure what.. I guess." Kurt tried to answer the question.

"Sorry I embarrassed you." Blaine said turning to go.

"No wait. Look, I.. are you talking about like,oral and stuff? Because I've only just started reading on it and I haven't put any thought into it. I mean you know I'm happy to wait or not to do that stuff at all."

"No, I just.." Blaine ran his hand though his hair in frustration. "It doesn't mater."

"If you were going to ask then it does matter to you and just because its awkward for the both of us doesn't mean we should avoid it. I mean, there's going to be awkwardness at times isn't there? And we have survived quite a few awkward moments already,."

Blaine actually smiled and nodded.

"Yes I guess you're right. I was trying to say that as you are my master..."

"Blaine!"

"As I thought of you as my master for such a long time I just always assumed that you would.. top. But I've just figured out that that might not be the case and I wanted to ask.."

"Oh."

So this was to do with Blaine's problem again.

"I um.. I guess I.. my thoughts don't usually go that far.. but I guess I want to try both."

Blaine looked shocked for a moment.

"You really want to try bottoming?"

"Yes."
"Why? It's .." Blaine shook his head as if trying to rid himself of certain thoughts.

"Because it's you, and I want to experience that with you."

Blaine shook his head.

"I could never do that to you. I could never hurt you like that."

"That's okay. I'm not asking you to do anything, it was just a hypothetical answer to a hypothetical question."

Blaine just nodded again.

"Goodnight Kurt."

"Blaine, when the time comes we'll find a way to deal with it."

Blaine just nodded and turned his back.

"Mr. Shue, I know how much you love disco but I don't think that this is going to impress the judges enough."

"You're right. And do you know what I think will impress the judges, a song opened by our very own Mr. Kurt Hummel."

Kurt sat up straight and looked around at his glee mates to be sure that he heard right. Yep, they were all looking at him and smiling and nodding approvingly.

"Do you think you're up to it Kurt?"

"Definitely Mr. Shue."

Kurt practically bounced through the door. He saw Blaine's high tops by the door and excited to be able to tell him his news he ran up the stairs two at a time. Blaine's door was open and Kurt saw Blaine lying flat on the bed with his radio on. He sat up when he heard Kurt enter.

"Guess what?" Kurt said jumping onto the bed next to him and moving in to kiss him. He was really surprised when Blaine sharply jerked away. Kurt moved back as well, the look of surprised hurt on his face must have been obvious. Blaine met his eyes for a moment and then looked away.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood."

"That's okay." Kurt said though it really wasn't. "Want to talk about it?"

"No." Blaine gave him a false smile and put his hands on his knee as if nothing had happened. "Tell me what you're so happy about?"

"Mr. Shue gave me a song for the competition. Well, the opening of a song, but it's still just me on the stage singing."

"That's fantastic Kurt." The smile was real this time so Kurt laid back and started talking about what the song possibilities were and how pissed off Rachel was and how they had gone for a quick coffee at the Lima Bean to celebrate.

Kurt looked at his phone again.

Blaine, are you okay? Where are you?

It was Thursday and Kurt had been waiting in the choir room for half an hour. They always meet here. Kurt had gone to check the gym but no Blaine. And after the second unanswered phone call Kurt was really starting to worry.

He put his phone back in his pocket and decided to drive home. When he got there he could call the garage and find out if Blaine was still working. Maybe he'd got delayed. Maybe he'd forgot his phone at home. There were a thousand innocent reasons why he was not there. But deep inside Kurt knew that none of them were the reason Blaine hadn't come.

Blaine's shoes were in the rack again. He was in the house. Kurt ran up the stairs. He stopped at Blaine's door but there was no answer.

"Blaine?"

Kurt put his hand on the door handle and slowly opened it. At first he thought the room was empty, the bed perfectly made and everything in it's right place as Blaine liked to keep things. But there was a noise, a shuffling breathy noise and Kurt's eyes finally alighted on a folded up curly haired figure in the corner by the bed.

He ran across the room and fell onto his knees beside his boyfriend reaching out to pull him into his arms.

"Oh god, what's wrong?"

"Don't touch me." Blaine sobbed. Kurt's hands froze exactly where they were then fell to his sides.

Not knowing what to do Kurt sat down a foot away from Blaine. His legs pulled up to his chest just like his boyfriend. Kurt listened to the breathless sobbing, all he wanted was to wrap his arms around him and hold him but Blaine had asked him to keep his distance. So he was going to do what Blaine had asked because he wanted to comfort him not make him more uncomfortable. But of course not being able to touch him he didn't know how to comfort him. But eventually the distance between them was too much for him to bare.

"Can I please just hold your hand?"

Blaine didn't move but Kurt took a deep breath and reached out to touch Blaine's elbow. Then when Blaine didn't pull away he inched his hand along Blaine's arm until he found Blaine's hand. Blaine's trembling fingers wrapped around his.

It was literally hours. Blaine sobbed until he couldn't anymore then Kurt swore he drifted off to sleep for a little while and all the time he sat their his legs going numb waiting and waiting for Blaine to tell him what was wrong because it was terrifying to see him in such a state.

"I have to tell you something?"

Blaine's voice was croaky and quiet but it made Kurt jump. He'd thought he was still sleeping.

"Okay."

"Everyday this week I've been going to see a shrink."

Kurt took a deep breath, so the doctor had found somebody? That was good. It was Thursday so that meant that Blaine had been to see her four times.

"Okay." Kurt breathed. "That's a good thing. I think."

"But I, today I ran out."

"Why?"

"It was too much."

"That's okay."

"No it's not. " Blaine looked up at him, his face red, little veins having broken under the skin of his eyes. "How is this okay Kurt?"

"How many times have you cried since you've been here?"

Blaine sniffed and thought about it.

"I.. there was the time I kissed you."

"Yeah."

"After one of my nightmares."

"Yeah."

"Once when your dad was in hospital."

Kurt nodded he'd not known that Blaine had cried then. He had been so strong and there for him. He'd tried to protect him.

"So overall you've cried about what happened to you twice?"

"I think I cried a lot during the first few weeks I was at the training center."

"Okay, but since you've cried twice. You have all these emotions locked up and don't think crying twice is enough to get rid of them, If I was you I'd let myself cry a good hour everyday for about twenty years."

"Thank god you're not my doctor."

Kurt giggled.

Blaine grabbed his other hand.

"I just want you to know that I'm trying Kurt. I'm trying to be better."

"You cant be better. You're trying to get better."

"Okay." Blaine said looking down obviously giving him that argument.

"But I'm trying."

"I know you are. And I appreciate it, but an hour everyday, that must be emotionally exhausting, perhaps you're trying a little to hard. I mean for four days you've been talking about really difficult stuff for an hour. I mean, give yourself a break."

"I don't talk the whole hour. I'm quiet a lot, thinking about what I want to say."

Kurt nodded.

"Have you talked about him yet? the one who scares you?"

Blaine shook his head.

"I saw him today Kurt. I mean I know I didn't really see him but as I walked out the clinic I swore he was following me and as I looked around I thought he was there. It wasn't him but.. I just, i feel like if I talk about him he's going to come back to get me.

Kurt squeezed his hand

"You know nobody is ever going to hurt you again."

"A part of me knows that. But a part of me fights it."

"Okay."

"There was a night when he just tied me up and looked at me."

"The entire night you were just waiting for him to do something else?"

Blaine nodded.

"And before I came to live here he had me one last time and he told me he hoped that they sent me back because then he wouldn't have to worry about not permanently damaging me."

"I think he was the one permanently damaged."

This was the only time Blaine had talked about the man who scared him so much and Kurt didn't know what to think. It was nice that he was opening up but obviously it was only because the wounds had been reopened but perhaps they had to be to be healed.

"So if you don't talk about him what do you talk about?"

"The others."

Kurt took a deep breath. His chest was literally hurting as if his heart was being wrenched in two.

"Your first master?"

Blaine shook his head.

"No not him, the other five trainers."

Kurt nodded slowly. He knew this question was going to kill a part of his soul forever but he had to ask it.

"Did they all.."

Blaine looked at him.

"Would you hate me if you knew how many?"

"I would never hate you, I might just hate the world though."

"You're too good to ever hate the world."

"Then no harm can come from telling me." Kurt said with a little smile holding his hand as if it was the most simple of requests.

"There was the first master. Six trainers and two maintenance men."

Kurt nodded, nine, his brain just couldn't process it. there were nine awful people out there nine people who had taken away his loves rights and hurt him physically and psychologically. They were silent for a long time.

"Do you hate me now?"

"No. I just.. Can we sleep? I feel so tired all of a sudden."

Blaine nodded.

"I'd like that."

Kurt got up and pulled Blaine to his feel then they climbed onto opposite ends of the bed and met in the middle clinging to each other as if they would never let go.