Halo 3 Screwed Up Version

Chapter 3: Crow's Nest Kaw Kaw Kaw

Derp derp derpity derp XD let's get wet I mean started

p.s. sorry it took so long, school is fucking gay

Kilo 023 touched down.

Medics load an injured marine on a stretcher and move like sonic.

Chief, Thel (Arbiter), and Johnson got off the pelican.

Then randomly Johnson says to the book writer (which is me :3), "Why am I always last?"

I replied, "Ugh. Fine!"

Johnson, Chief, and Thel got off the pelican.

Then Johnson answered, "That's much better."

Marines are sitting by the landing pad see chief get out of the pelican.

Then chief interrupts, "Why is Johnson first?"

I replied angrily, "I'M NOT MAKING ANY MORE CHANGES!"

Chief answers, "Aw fuck me."

Commander Miranda Keyes came out of the landing pad to meet Johnson, 'Vadam and Chief.

Chief interrupts…again, "Seriously? Why am I last now?"

Then I put a big ass pistol to chief's head.

Chief said nervously, "Um…never mind."

I said, "Exactly. Now shut the fuck up and let me narrate."

Keyes questioned Johnson, "Where did you fine the green shit?"

Johnson replies with a laugh, "He was napping out back."

They salute as she salutes back and smiles.

Chief started getting pissed about the comment Miranda said.

Then she turned to chief, "Let's get you up to speed."

Down in the hallways of the base, wounded Marines have laid against the walls.

Two Marines were chatting to each other.

Then they noticed Commander Keyes and the Master Chief.

They make their way and saluted while chief gave them the finger.

Keyes started explaining some random shit about…well…uh…shit.

The chief question, "What about Dahalo?"

She replied, ""We stopped it, but only temporarily. Now, the Prophet of Truth is looking for something called 'The Ark', where he'll be able to fire all the Dahalo Rings. If he succeeds, Humanity, The Covenant, every sentient being in the Galaxy..."

Chief said shockingly, "Those rings, man. They will fuck us in the asshole."

Thel replied, "That sounds like it hurts."

Chief had a cold chill, scared, "It does."

A technician who is running the base said to Keyes, "Ma'am, I have Lord Hood."

Commander Keyes ordered, "Patch him through."

Then Lord Hood appeared on the main screen.

He replies, "Good news, Commander Keyes?"

Keyes looks at Chief and give him a weird look for no apparent reason and says, "As good as it gets, sir."

Hood replies annoyed, "Of course you're still alive."

Chief replies to himself, "Don't talk to me like that you old fuck."

Hood replies (fucking speeches), "Anyways I'm confident – " (Oh thank God).

The power went down, but somehow no one gave a fuck.

Then the Technician angrily said after 5 minutes, "God dammit!"

Then the Prophet of Truth (he actually lies) appeared on the screen.

He says happily, "Hey guys! I'm on T.V.! OMGWTFBBQ! I'm awesome like Prussia"

Then he realized that he was talking to the humans.

"Oh…uh…I will activate the rings and kill you all, and your retard won't stop me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Then the power turns on.

Sergeant Johnson was watching porn on the computer.

All he said was, "Damn."

Chief questioned angrily, "Why does everyone call me a fucking retard?!"

Everyone ignored him.

Chief said to himself, "Of course."

Keyes came to her senses and said, "We're about to get attacked!"

Chief said in a PewDiePie way, "I fucking knew it!"

Keyes yelled to everyone, "Alright everyone time to go to war."

Then everyone cheered like in one of those Teletubbies show.

Chief grabbed a weapon while being ordered to defend the hanger.

4 years later…hell no it's not halo 4 screwed up version yet.

4 hours later…now that's much better.

Chief huffed and puffed and blew the house down…wait…what?

He got out of the hanger.

Then he was ordered to head back to the room with t.v.'s, people, where Truth gave his retarded speech and stuff.

Chief saw a bomb and said shockingly, "Why the hell is a bomb here?"

Johnson replies in a good mood, "Because we are going to blow this fucking base with the Covenant inside."

Chief replies loudly, "HELL YEAH!"

Johnson activated the bomb and got the hell out.

Chief went down a random elevator and blew up.

Then you randomly hear Chief have a Cortana moment, "This place will become your home and your tomb."

Well, what do u think? Review and like me and book and follow.