Halo 3 Screwed Up Version

Chapter 5: The Storm Chasers

Hello everyone have you heard of the show called "the storm chasers" that's why I named this chapter that way lol now let's get started.

A Convoy of three Warthogs went down a tunnel on Tsavo Highway Up My Ass with Chief riding shotgun in one of the warthogs.

Commander Miranda Keyes who is now becoming a bitch like Cortana, says, "Chief, the Prophet of Truth has found the Boat."

Chief questioned, "Da faq is a boat."

Keyes answered annoyed, "The Author decided to be a dumbass and changed from the Ark to the Boat."

Chief laughed, "Good one Author."

Then the Author (which is me) gets pissed, "Quit talking about me and focus on the story."

Keyes continued, "Our only chance of stopping him is a surprise aerial assault. Clear this sector of Covenant anti-air defenses who make our ships have an asshole and fuck them. Good hunting. Keyes out."

Chief said in relief, "Thank God she's done thank goodness I was taking a snooze while she was talking."

The Warthogs emerged from the tunnel in a parking lot with tons of metal that my step-brother would love to sell.

The Warthogs stop because a big fucking door is blocking the way.

Chief jumped out and walked over to the door and beside it was a button and chief pressed it.

The door opened.

Sergeant Reynolds said to chief, "Ready when you are chief. Open the door and take point. We'll cover you with the .50, oh and don't fucking ditch us like you did last time."

Chief said with a troll face, "Okay."

Chief opens the door to an empty factory section.

He moves up a flight of stairs and sees that the Covenant who are listening to one of Truth's sermons.

Chief interrupts the sermon and throws TNT and blows it up.

Chief made an evil laugh when the covenant died in the process.

Then randomly Reynolds says, "Chief opened the door so we can roll on through."

Chief got pissed, "Hey, dumbass the door has been open."

The marine squad was outside the whole time.

Reynolds replies, "Oh yeah."

Chief sighed in annoyance, "Why did the director put me with these idiots."

While in the tunnels chief found a ghost and drives it out of the building and into a big ass field.

The marines, who were following chief, drive out with mongooses.

Chief turns around and sees the marines and says, "I thought there were two warthogs."

One of the marines replied, "Well, the warthogs decide to explode randomly and then there were two mongooses."

Chief replied shockingly, "So the Warthogs' do make a mongoose."

Randomly a Covenant Scarab appeared in mid-air, behind chief.

It's just looking at chief.

Marines looked terrified.

Chief said, "There's a big scarab behind me isn't there?"

Then Reynolds said, "Uh huh."

All chief said was "fuck".

Then chief blew up and so did the marines.

Chief survived and took the mother fucker out.

The marines, however died (LOL DUMB SHIT).

Johnson said over the com impressed, "Well done chief! Now there's one more target, a Covenant AA gun. Take it down and the Good Lord Hood can start fucking up the Covenant in the ass which don't exist because the makers didn't put an ass on the Covenant troops."

Chief questioned to himself, "How the fuck do they have sex?"

Chief forgot about it and started heading to the AA Gun.

They dropped Thel (Arbiter) in the process.

Chief saw Thel and said to himself, "God Dammit."

Then randomly chief had a "Cortana moment", "I am your shield. I am your sword."

Chief questioned out loud angrily, "WHY THE FUCK AM I HEARING CORTANA EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NOT IN MY FUCKING HEAD?!"

Roughly ten minutes and fuck you Prophet of False later.

Chief and Thel destroyed the AA Gun who was shooting at nothing.

Then a flood ship came out of nowhere, driving a Covenant Cruser, and crashed.

Thel questioned, "What is it? More Brutes?"

Chief questioned annoyed, "Do you ever listen to the fucking narrator?"

Then the game decided to crash.

Then the narrator had nothing to narrate. :,(

thanks for reading and don't worry the last lines don't mean that i'm done with the halo screwed up series