Halo 3 Screwed Up Version

Chapter 9: Cortana The Annoying Bitch

Just to let you guys know the chapter name is so true and I can agree that people approve of the statement or…chapter. Well let's get this done.

P.S. This is a short chapter and a serious one so to avoid copyright issues, I'm going to try my absolute best to make this shit funny.

Chief decided to drive a banshee to the High on Acid (I see Dragons O_O) I mean High on Drugs.

He tripped and fell into a hole (I love making my characters suffer).

He got up, taking his surroundings and saw yellow, orange, green and a shit ton of stuff that looks disgusting (could be the acid but maybe not).

Ok now we're done talking about acid now back to the story.

Johnson said over the COM, "Chief, I'll round up survivors, and fall back to the Dusk. Arbiter will do the same with the Elites. Cortana's in there somewhere."

Chief said to himself, "Mother fuck, cock sucking, and son of a bitch."

Chief just avoided the complaining and decided to head on finding Cortana while killing flood throughout.

About an hour later because it's all Cortana and Gravemind moments.

Chief finds Cortana who is surrounded by a shield of some sort.

Chief breaks it because he likes breaking stuff.

It went all silent and then…"Holy shit you found me."

Chief looks worried about Cortana.

She continues in a weak tone, "But I feel weird like I just got so many tentacles fucking me."

Chief trying to avoid that awkward moment says, "You know me when I make a promise…"

Cortana finished, "You forget about them till the very last moment."

She sounded amused, "I do know how to pick them."

Chief said, "Hell yeah! Do you still have that stick thingy?"

Cortana said, "Yeah the Activation Index from the first Dahalo ring."

She looks around and questioned, "Can we get the fuck out of here now?"

Chief got pissed, "Bitch I came to save your sexy ass. What do you think I was going to do? Say hi and leave like one of those visitation sessions?"

Cortana replied, "Um ok so what is your plan?"

Chief thought about it for a moment and said, "Thought I'd try blowing my way out."

Cortana said, "You know that sounds so wrong right?"

Chief ignored her and he inserted Cortana back into his armor.

Then she said, "Just keep your head down…There's two of us in here now, remember."

Chief replied, "You're still a bitch remember."

Cortana laughed not realizing that Chief actually meant it.

Chief made it out of the room that was holding Cortana.

Cortana said in a weak tone, "We need to by us some time…"

Luckily Chief knew what Cortana had planned.

Chief blew up the reactors and got the hell out of there.

Later he found Thel (Arbiter) using a mother fucking flamethrower.

Cortana said shocked, "What the hell? You two made nice. Does that mean you guys are gay?"

Thel heard it and questioned, "What's gay?"

Chief said hesitated and said, "That means happy or male x male."

Thel said, "Interesting, I got to try that."

Chief freaked the fuck out, but got over it and grabbed a pelican with Thel (Homo) and got the hell out.

They both headed out to the new Dahalo ring.

Yup it's fucking installation 04 fuck.

Thanks for reading only one more chapter to go! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD