Chapter 3
I roll out of my bed scrunching my eyes against the sun shining through my window. I wince a little as my body reminds me not to treat my health so lightly again. I figure after crashing straight into bed I'd better start with a shower but don't really relish seeing myself in the mirror. Not with the ache in my cheek promising a decent shiner on the outside to match. But I make it to the bathroom regardless and after a short inspection I decide it's not as bad as I thought; bar my still bandaged hands. I step into the shower and get myself cleaned up.
I get changed back in my room, light pale blue T with a striped long sleeve shirt underneath and a comfortable pair of jeans. Just right for a Sunday. I make my way to the kitchen to grab some lunch, since I missed breakfast by miles, and see Hatori already there frying a second omelette.
"Good morning Hatori" I greet him with my normal buoyancy and start looking for something I could help with for the surprise belated breaky.
"Sleep well?" He looks over and I nod in reply. He shuts off the range-hood and the stovetops. He brings over the food and I bring the glasses of juice I'd just poured. Now particularly glad I'd done the shopping yesterday.
"How are you feeling? You look a little better".
"Yeah, my hands still hurt a little but otherwise I'm good. Thanks for the help last night."
"You're welcome, and what else could I have done hmm? You're just lucky I'd fallen asleep on the couch. I'll admit I hadn't thought I'd have to deal with something like that in my own house since Shigure and Aya grew up" He let a slightly devious grin show. Nice to know there weren't any hard feelings. "Momiji, is there anything else you'd like to discuss? I'm sure last night was all good fun but you going out and doing things like that does worry me".
I look down at my plate, "I'm sorry Hatori. I'll be more careful next time… It's just that they insulted Tohru right in front of me. I couldn't help it".
"Well either way, I'd expect better judgement from you Momiji, trying to fight a whole group of guys by yourself" It seemed Haru had told more than he needed to. I look down embarrassed at disappointing Ha'ri.
"I promise I'll take better care from now. I'm sorry" Hatori nods his acceptance.
"Just remember, you can talk to me about your problems too alright".
"Thanks Hatori. I will." He smiles, and I return it. There aren't words for just how much I appreciate having Hatori watching over me.
"Well you should have seen… Haru?" I realise suddenly what's wrong with mid morning scene. "Um, Hatori, where's Haru?"
"Oh, he left a few hours ago. So he'd be home by now I guess. He's probably checking on Rin knowing him". It does sound like him. Still, it's odd he didn't wait to say goodbye.
"Ahh. Well in that case… I might actually get some schoolwork done today". Hatori nods. Sounds like a good idea in all.
I take the dishes and clean them as Hatori heads to his office to relax with his journals and make check up calls on a sick patient of his.
I sit down at my desk, put away my art and grab my school diary to see what needed to be worked on. Nothing interesting unfortunately. And I can't honestly call practicing my violin homework anymore, I know the songs off by heart so it's become pure procrastination. I reach to the ground and grab my English essay notes due in a few weeks and flip open the class book to where I'd read up to.
'Tap' I jolt up from my comfortable position on my chair. 'Tap tap' the sound has shocked me out of the story. I look over to my window where the sound had come from. 'tap tap'. I put my bookmark back in the book and go over. I see Haru standing under the window and wave, but he doesn't wave back. Confused I head down the stairs and to the door.
"Good afternoon Haru"
"Is Hatori home?" I frown, he looks odd. Purposeful.
"Uhh, no. Come on in". We walk in and Haru lounges on the couch. Finally some normal behaviour.
"Uh, what's up?" I ask.
"Last night that girl you danced with wasn't a Junishi". Shit, so he had seen. "So either another animal has suddenly joined the junishi and you just happened to end up dancing with her…" He turns his face to look directly at me "Or, you broke the curse". I open my mouth to respond but fail, the statement catching me off-guard as much as Haru's fierce steady gaze. He looks back down, "I thought as much, you've been acting weird".
"Does Rin know?" I ask frowning slightly. Haru looks away, his suspicions confirmed.
"She doesn't. I didn't think it'd help her finding out just now when she wants to break it so much".
"Ahh". Well no point trying to hide it now. "I don't know how it happened... It was some point a few weeks ago. A little before Tohru went into hospital I guess and suddenly... it was just gone."
We sat quietly for a while as Haru slowly absorbed the information.
"Will you tell Rin?"
"No… she told me that Shigure said it would happen to all of us eventually. We can just keep waiting I guess." His fists are clenched at his side. "Damnit, I want it too." He bangs his fist on the couch then looks back up at me "Have you told anyone?"
"No. Well, just Akito. And I implied it to Kyo but he must have kept quite." Haru listens quietly, as usual, sensing I have more to say. "It was strange. I just felt so lost." I bite my lip slightly feeling my trapped emotions slowing brewing over.
"Haru, How come… How come now that I'm free I feel so lonely?" Frustration causing tears to start.
I catch confliction briefly cross Haru's face before he stands and crosses the short space between us. "For such a smart person, you really are dumb sometimes Momiji. Thinking we'd leave you behind so easily". He raises his hand and ruffles my hair.
"I'll keep your secret Momiji, until you're ready for someone else to know."
"Thanks Haru"
"Umm, I'd better get back to Rin. I told her I wasn't going to be away for long." He grinned "And I wouldn't want to keep a woman like that waiting hmm". Haru turns to leave. His duty done.
"Uh, Alright, see you tomorrow?" I ask to his back.
"Of cause" He waves his goodbye.
I walk into school beside Haru. Today we we're late because Haru just couldn't seem to find his tie, and then his math books, and then he managed to lose his backpack for 5 minuets before we were finally able to leave. My right hand is still wrapped and hurting from Saturday night but I feel unusually light hearted for a Monday morning, which I know is bugging Haru. I guess I let off a lot of stress.
Our first class today is history. Which was lucky really as our teacher's normally late himself and because it's something I know a fair bit about. Spending lots of time with Hatori has its benefits; he's quite the history buff. All this means is that I do well enough so I'm rarely someone he picks on. Haru and I walk along the halls and walk through our classroom doors. Normally we sit together and I help Haru with the answers but today, as I look around, there aren't any spare seats together. Haru shrugs and I move to the right side of the room towards the windows as Haru takes the left.
I sit down next to a classmate I don't normally talk to, but I guess I can't say I dislike him either. I peer over his books and find out his name is Ruiki Yori. I smile at him, for no particular reason than to be friendly, but I'm met by a glare of sorts from him. My smile, as fragile as it is, leaves. Instead I decide to take a look outside. It happens to be a day typically described as beautiful with the sun dappling the playground with mid-morning light.
As I gaze at the yard I let my mind drift. Tohru should be coming out of hospital very soon. I've been avoiding Kyo since Tohru's been in hospital but from what I hear from Yuki and Haru he's been doing really well. Damn him. It's not easy to think of him as being more worthy of being with Tohru when I want to be with her so much. I curse him quietly as the classroom door swings open and our teacher... doesn't walk in.
I look at the old man walking through the door with the compulsory load of books and worksheets. He walks to the front of the class.
"Hello everybody. My name is Mr Koshiba" He turns to write it on the board "and as your regular teacher isn't here today I'm taking his classes" I sigh inwardly as I realise that this lesson's about to go to hell. No one's gonna do any work with a substitute teacher heading us. Especially one who seems as though he'd have about the same amount of enthusiasm for this class as he would eating... brussel sprouts. But being the 'good' student I am I pull out my workbook and get prepared for whatever drudgery is coming my way. I catch Haru's eyes and he rolls his eyes to show he thinks the same.
Slowly we descend into the class work which no one paying any particular attention to but, lucky for the substitute, we don't feel like putting up any arguments on a Monday morning and merely go about the work in the slowest fashion possible.
As the bell goes a collective sigh goes up from the class. Finally, the lesson is over and we can move on. I grin as I grab my bag and head off to my favourite class. Music.
Haru and I go our separate ways, Haru has a different elective, and I wander casually towards the music classroom.
I go inside and take in the ambience for a moment. I love the feeling that you get from a music classroom when the class has a self directed practical lesson. Some of my classmates have already taken up residence for the lesson in the small 'soundproofed' rooms off the main classroom while others are casually chatting as they warm up and tune their instruments.
I chuck my bag and books onto a desk and head towards the locked room, currently unlocked, where my instrument is kept. I enter the room which is busy with other students who own their own instruments and carefully pick up my violin and walk towards one of the unoccupied 'sound booths'.
As the door closes behind me I leave behind all the troubles of the world for a moment as I open my case and pull out my violin. I play a few notes to check the tuning, it's fine, and then I start with my favourite song. One of my own actually and, as most things of mine are, inspired by Tohru.
I play the first notes at a fairly light and happy pace as I play out our first meeting, from my perspective anyway, and I can hear the way my heart beat faster when I kissed her in the bounce of the beat and the joy of finding someone with a soul as innocent and accepting as hers. Then go into a stronger section as I play how I found out she was staying near me, with my cousins, and that I'd be seeing her more. I steadily increase the pace and the pitch as I play the day at the hot springs and the fun we had there, but some lower tones come in as I hint at the next segment. I sharp turn in the music comes and the pitch falls steeply to match my emotions as Tohru and Kyo become closer while I stay to the side. A kid. I keep the pitch steady as the music tells of our continued increasingly platonic 'relationship' and the pain with sharp high notes spread through the segment. The song turns soft as I play to where we are at now. The tempo coming to a close and the song coming to close on a low.
I take a deep breath. I love that song but it always takes so much out of me to play. As I come back to my senses I hear a quite clapping coming from the entrance. My teacher smiles from the doorway. I try to smile back. My mask in place again.
"You play so well Momiji, I wish you'd allow the rest of the school to hear it" she says, subtly hinting towards the opportunity I have to play this piece in front of the school at the next assembly. An opportunity I've previously declined. And today's no different.
"I'm sorry Yumi, I just think this one's too personal to play in front of everyone." The same party line I've used from the beginning. She lets out an exaggerated sigh.
"You artists" she states, but she smiles. I know she feels quite privileged to be permitted to hear me play. I've only played my own music in front of the class once. Every other time has been a piece we've been told to present as a whole group and it's generally been one made and handed to us to learn rather than something we've composed ourselves.
I start another piece, the one I have chosen to play in front of the class and she gets the hint. Nodding she moves off to another student who needs some help with a particular part of her piano solo where her composition has hit a metaphorical brick wall.
Soon as the door shuts though I change my music again. I've practiced the presentation piece plenty of times so I don't really need to do it again. I let myself just relax into the violin and play whatever comes to me. Happy, sad, angry, hopeful. The thing I love most about music is that it lets me say everything I hide behind my mask. With all the turmoil in my mind I love that I can just… play.
I reawaken as the tinny alarm plays through the school. Far too soon. The bell goes and I grudgingly put away my instrument. Lock the cupboard door and then leave the room. I hear the door close behind me and I force myself to face reality again.
I walk towards the area I normally eat my recess at. The bustle of my classmates rushing to their food and find their friends around me. I wonder where Kyo, Haru and Yuki are. Probably getting their food and heading to where we eat together too. Though I'm still not sure I can face up to Kyo right now. Not when he's doing so much better than me with Tohru. I envy him for his closeness to her, I'm angry at him because it's not me, I'm happy that he's found someone because he's my cousin and my friend and I'm depressed that it's not me who found her.
I sigh. Even though I'm the one who can actually hold her right now. Even though she's all that I want. He's still the only one who can make her happy.
And the idiot barely even realises it.
I reach my locker and chose to vent my anger on it with a sharp punch. Not so smart I realise a second later when the pain in my hand reminds me why it was bandaged all weekend.
Haru walks over and gently knocks me on my head, "That wasn't smart".
I grin sheepishly. Just having the one person who I can't fool nearby calms me. "Well... I guess I wasn't in a smart mood." I shut my locker door and start walking down the hallway. Haru following without needing any words.
We find a tree to sit at and relax in the shade, which is still rather warm.
"You going to tell me what's wrong?" Haru asks between bites of his sandwich. Which he should be saving till lunch. I eat my apple and don't say a word.
"Tohru's coming out of hospital on Wednesday huh" He starts casually. I mentally curse him for his accuracy when it comes to what's upsetting me. He picked it right as always.
I let out a sigh and rest my head back against the tree. "Yeah. She is".
"And Kyo's ban ends doesn't it?" I watch him from the corner of my eye bite into his sandwich so nonchalantly. Like Yuki's said from the beginning; he's far smarter and more observant than most give him credit for.
I take a last bite from the apple and throw it at the bin. Earning me a satisfying metallic pang as the bin rocks and the apply drops to the earth and rolls nearby.
"Mmmhmm. That bin deserved it" Haru nods in a mildly sarcastic tone. One thing I do like about black Haru is that you always know exactly where you stand with him, reading white Haru is a little harder.
"Rin asked how your hand is holding up. She was worried, and she doesn't normally worry. I was proud of her." He smiles as he takes another bite and munches thoughtfully, "Are you sure you won't talk to us?" Haru looks ahead but the honesty and concern shows.
"I'm sorry Haru… I don't even know if I have it all figured out in my own head and till I do I don't think I can explain it to anyone else." I leave him with that answer.
Haru nods slowly. He knows that if I could I would have told him but for now he's alright leaving it. Well ok, that's not wholly true; his 'leaving it' is just him quietly scheming the next way to get me to talk. But that's okay too.
The bell rings and I pack up my stuff before walking with Haru to his next classroom. But with a double 'free study period' in the afternoon, I decide I'm going to leave at lunch. Maybe I'll say hello to Tohru later. I consider the option as I move as part of the student mass towards my next class. Only two more lessons left.
I smile as I walk away from the school grounds. Signed out and all. Haru may have given me a very begrudging look before I left but I still couldn't be happier knowing I'll be seeing Tohru again in only minutes.
I close around the last bend and walk up to the now familiar shiny see-through entrance doors. As I do though I see the familiar short cut golden hair of a very familiar girl standing at the counter.
I walk up behind my shorter cousin and listen in on her conversation with the woman behind the counter.
"Yes, Tohru Honda is scheduled to be released from the hospital this Wednesday. Do you have any other questions I can help with Kisa?" She gives a quite shake of her head and moves to head down the hall.
"Hey Kisa." She turns and grins broadly.
"Momiji! Are you here to see Tohru too? Before she gets released from hospital" I nod.
"Why aren't you at school?" I ask slightly concerned that bullies have caused her to start skipping again. She's held it together really well since last year, especially with Hiro in her corner, so I was sure that wouldn't be the case. Still.
"Actually, I have the day off cause I had a cold this morning and Mum thought it might be better for me to rest. I'm feeling better this afternoon though so I thought I'd visit Tohru instead of lazing around waiting for Hiro to come by." She grins. I take her word on it. "How about you"?
"I have free periods this afternoon so I thought I'd come by too. Before she becomes 'Kyo's Tohru' right". Kisa laughs softly in the corridor as we walk down the hall towards Tohru's room.
"You're not wrong. But we all knew it would happen. Even Yuki has started moving on. But you're having trouble with that aren't you?" She looks at me and I swear she didn't look in the slightest bit similar to the Kisa of a year ago. Her confidence has changed her for the better completely.
I nod slowly. I guess it's not as though I was doing too good a job hiding it.
"Do you want to talk? If you do I'll listen to whatever's on your mind Momiji." I meet her eyes and I finally decide to concede.
"Sure, I guess we may as well."
"Great," she smiles brightly, "Then… can we get some ice-cream too?"
I laugh with her, "Sure, let's go get some."
We eat our ice-cream at the park next to the hospital with the sun's warm rays melting them steadily.
As I expected, Kisa listened to everything perfectly. I told her about my feelings, our first meeting, how I felt about Kyo and Tohru being together and basically… everything. She listened quietly with her golden brown eyes watching intently and her soft voice asking the occasional question.
"So I guess I just haven't seen any one who matches her in my mind" I finish.
"Thankyou for telling me all that Momiji, that must have been hard to keep to yourself." She begins.
I nod. Not realising till I'd finally shared it all out loud just how much there was there to tell.
"What part do you want to talk about first? What's troubling you the most?" She asks. Her calm expression encouraging me, hinting that there might be an answer to what's troubling me. That someone might actually know
"Well I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. You get it? I mean, I can't stop him if he makes her happy and I can't seem to get over her. I don't know why I still love her and I can't stand the fact that I do but I don't think I want to stop either. I just don't know." I rest my head in my hands, the corners of my mouth inching downwards as Kisa slowly finishes her ice-cream beside me. I watch her from the corner of my eyes. Her thoughtful expression as she tries to come up with what to tell me.
"I don't think you're being fair on yourself Momiji. Do you remember how I was when I liked Hiro but I didn't think he liked me back? It was hell because I was always second guessing myself and hating that I never tried. I'm not saying that it's exactly the same, but, I'm saying I can understand where you're coming from. I think that loving someone you know will never love you back feels so good because it's so bad for you. You live forever wanting something you know you can never have but safe in the knowledge that you will never have to risk everything to find out how it could have been."
I look at her and wonder how so much wisdom could come from someone so small and young. I guess she grew up while I wasn't watching. I nod slowly. She got it just right, "So what do you think I should do then?"
"I think… I think the best thing for you is distance and time. Being near her and being tempted by her being near you and seeing her with Kyo is upsetting you". She gazes across the field of grass ahead of us and I wait as she takes another bite of her ice-cream as she thinks. "And it's not like you're in a place in your life where everything's new and changing. That you don't have a lot of new things happening in your life is only exasperating the problem". She takes a last bite of her ice-cream still thinking, "I can't think off the top of my head what you could do, and it's only a little longer before Tohru, Kyo and Yuki graduate. So staying here is still an idea. But then even if she's not at school she'll still be around, and unless Kyo and her leave somewhere else entirely it could still be a problem and then they are the ones to decide when they visit and leave which isn't great on your end."
"Yeah, I guess that's a good point. So maybe I need to go somewhere instead?" my thoughts jump for a moment, "Like... going on exchange..."
"Yeah" She grins. I sit still in surprise, even just the concept of that idea feeling extravagant. I mean even with how Akito's been what's to say he'll even agree to something like that when it was a struggle to go to a co-gender school? I mean I've never really thought of exchange and leaving everyone. There are so many, too many, questions around it to begin with. Where would I go? What effect would it have on my education? Is it too extreme? How would I get the money? Do I even want to?
My thoughts start to swim when another voice startles me from behind.
"Hey Kisa" Hiro's gentle smile spreads as Kisa grins widely and jumps up to hug him. He nods respectfully to me "Momiji". I smile and stand.
"Hi Hiro, you off school too?" Kisa laughs and Hiro shakes his head,
"It's already 3:30 Momiji" Kisa says, "We've been talking for a long time."
I check my watch and she's right. I laugh with them. Talking to Kisa helped me release so much of my burden.
I walk towards the see-through doors again and even if I haven't made any decisions I can't help but feel lighter.
Little did I know that earlier that day, around about just after recess, a text had crossed Kisa's phone sent by a certain medalling bi-polar best friend suggesting I needed someone to talk to and that I'd happen to be visiting Tohru that afternoon. As the sun descends and I spend the remaining hospital visit talking to Tohru until as far into the evening as visitors are allowed Haru rests well with the text on his phone beside him flashing two words, 'mission accomplished' sent by Kisa Sohma.
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you…
Author
Hey all, 'avoids thrown tomato's' Those with sharp eyes will have noted some changes to the first 3 chapters. Just updated them as my ideas have developed for the rest of the story. I know. It's been, ages and ages and ages since I've updated this fict. But I swore that it wasn't hyatus'd! I'd just been kept busy at uni. And I'm promising the 4th chaptor sometime soon. It 'is' written, just not quite polished and edited yet. But it's coming!