Chapter 4

is that right?s attempts at pronouncing the German words Is comfortable under the covers. Her bandages are almost all removed now and only one more night left in hospital.

s just fine. You She grins brightly back.

My phone goes off in my pocket, I grab it out and read the message t be late as I need to go to bed early tonight. If you want I can leave it as leftovers, from Hatori-

Tohru asks from her lofty position on the bed.

, -ok, thanks. II think it

I say surprised.

sure. They could have made things much worst" her eyes light up and gain that unusual focus that has become more common of late. "They could have left you at an orphanage or with Akito like Yuki or done nothing and had you stay in a house with someone who couldnt taken me in I stay quite. Contemplating her words.

s rightI cant want to love you like she does Momo. I think she was just surprised." She turns back to look at me "You were right, there are no memories you should forget. And when the other person isns even more She nods and, leaning forward, rests her forehead against mine.

ignore a memory? To keep all of the rest but to ignore just one?Even the painful ones, the ones we want to forget or ignore, are importantre eye to eye again. I pause, trying to think of what to add when it comes to me. She nods again.

I ask softly.

s alrightm not convinced, but I let it go. ve been practicingMomiji She pulls herself further away and back against the head of the hospital bed. A light blush spread across her face too.

?

re really friends I have. You

I mumble, my throat starts to tighten as I know what's coming. The 'but'.

I knowMomiji?Yeah?YouPerhaps, but I. I stand quickly and walk towards the exit without saying goodbye. Soon as the fresh air hits me I run. I run and run.

I slow when I get to my houset spare them a glace.

I slam my bedroom door behind me, collapse on my bed, face pressing into my pillow and scream.

Moments later I hear a knock at my door but I donri. Then they walk back down the stairs and IHi, Mr Sohma?m allowed to contact him. The sun had risen pretty high by this point and I'd had plenty of time to think things through. How I was going to approach the topic. What to say, what to avoid saying. Plenty of reasoned arguments.

. I take a breath, open his door and most of my carefully reasoned arguments fly away.

s on your mind Momiji?t take up to much of his time. Then again maybe he does really want to know.

ve had lately, if it I look down hoping heMomiji, if you want to talk to me about anything I want you to feel as though you can. Please take a seat and tell me about what is worrying youIt

s making a riot around the inner circle of the Sohma The statement takes me aback a littles far more than that. Has he been so out of my life that he doesns been doing to the members of the Junishi?

I mean, I know IWhy would you have feelings for her? Yout be with anyone apart from the females members of the Junishi. I don I blink in stunned silence. That I can I say calmly. A fact IMaybe soOk, Ill finish listening before I jump in againWell, I guess I I start before I can check myself, I clench my fists under the table just a little.

ve never liked someone so much, and no one has ever accepted me for me like she has before, not my mum, not my sister, not Akitos seen all my faults and not looked away. It hurts so much to be around her and know I can

True to his word he stays silent. I struggle with keeping my mask off in front of him when every part of me wants to keep it in place. My safety net.

s opinion would probably matter the most in the decision of if Id tried. But then he hasnYour cousin Kisa is very intelligent and kind. But she is only in junior high school. She is too young to be able to consider the huge amount of issues that doing this could involve. She probably takes it too lightly.I know Dad. Itt say it was my only option or anything I mentally resign myself to him going against it. Of cause there were too many issuesI know I havens best for you. Going on exchange is going overboard considering the issue is teen love but maybe you can change schools if itt have to worry about girls so I He smiles, as though heve been looking for. But he doesnt enough. It help myself. I need to be further away than that.

s a good idea, but if that was enough distance then I would have already changed schools. Besides that

With that I realise he wasnt raise a teenage boy, hell, he barely raised a toddler son. Momo is probably the only one he understands as his own child.

I start to tell him more, how jumbled things are for me at the moment, how I just want an adult to talk to but instead comes out. d better head home now actuallyIt.

m glad we talked MomijiCome by anytimes something of a fake offer but I still appreciate the sentiment. At least het miss any more school and that eventually Ill meet another girl who looks at me the way she does Kyo.

I kick the leaves building up along the sidewalk. After all, what's the worth of a pipe dream?

I know I have to be at Hatorid rather ignore and forget than accept responsibility; my Dad whos such a pervert it cans the most mature and responsible of them all; Ritsu whom tall and strong enough to not fall straight down but she does. I reach down to help her up but she waves it off.

I ask, part curiosity part wanting a distraction from my own thoughts.

re not doing anything important do you wanna get some icecream or something? It seems like ages since wes but since itt hurt. ve got to be at Has for tea and I canll be reheated leftovers againSo Tohrus excited. It Her eyes on the sky and a wistful expression about her.

re about as happy about this as I am then?s. ll both be losing outI guess. I mean; I know Kyo has never been quite as interested in me as I have been of Is damned hard to hate a girl like Tohru, I mean, how naive can one girl be?s change of heart than that. Every one of us Junishi had been helped by Tohru.

s hard to fault him where does that leave us huh?s entrance offers a change of conversation, gesturing to the variety of choices behind the glass screen.

s alright.two small banana ice-creams please and some hot chocolate fudge on one She smiles at me as she gets out the equipment to make the desserts.

s been goods not something she needs to know anyway. I ask out of politeness.

She says cheerfully as she scoops the ice-creams.

She waves as we exit and I leave her with my best imitation smile in reply.

We wander back to the swings and continue our conversation. Even though Kagura is about 3 years older than me shet see her as much as, say, Haru, Yuki or Kisa itSo yeah,What do you think? I'm guessing you know what my situation is by now.I think I agree with Kisa, being near the guy you, well girl in your case, are interested in just makes it harder to get over Kyo is often at school or at the Dojo or at home makes it easier for me to avoid him Is still not , I just can I enjoy her company to muchWell have you talked to anyone else about doing a transfer overseas?I tried to talk to my dadtried being the operative word there. He didn I mock his tone of voice, just for the hell of it. Hey, if it makes you feel betterWell he mightnt be able to get what you needWell that, I say as I kick along a rock as we walk, t know and I dons so much to think about and problems to overcome with even thinking about going overseas that it

ll be worth it in the end. And getting some space isns for a while isnve finished highschool? Maybe you could use this to your advantage and choose a place where you can learn a lot about that or travel to a school that has a strong focus on that in their curriculums true. IWell that pausing to lick her icecream again, It have all the experience but I still might be able to helpre finished we stand together and I resist the urge to hug her and have the knowledge that IThank-you Kagure. I really needed that. I.

re welcome Momiji, I She smiled brightly and I waved her off as I head back towards HatoriHam homeDinner Het angry at me at least.

I answer with a shrug.

s good then. Still, if youd rather you call or text me so I knowAhh, alright. I'm sorry Hatori, I He motions for me to grab the plates as a tangible acceptance of my apology and I reach up and pick two bowls for the pasta.

s been well, yes?Mmmhmm. We talked about Tohru and Kyo and what wes about allThat

I donUhh, yeah. I stopped by DadHow is your father? I hope you.

Well, kind of, Not that he entirely deserved the thanks but hey.

t mention hers no chance heBefore it gets cold MomijiDid something happen between you and your father?MaybeI know your father doesnt it?Not when his trying only makes things worstWhat was it you two talked about?TohruAhhWhat about Tohru did you talk about?How to get over herThen Ill hear itYou

yesAnd you

t help itThen

don

I concede.

t know your dad well, but I know het have the experience to deal with someone who thinks and feels things the way you doYou mean, like you?In some ways, yes. In others not so much. I guess what Is hurting you. When you have that worked out then you can begin healingDon.

We finish our meal in silence. It seems I have some thinking to do

BAuthor's note:/B

Hi again, I know, I know. It's been to long. But here it is. Proof that I wasn't lying about still working on this fanfict! Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Hopefully the next chapter won't take quite so long :). And as always, comments are loved forever and make me do more writing~ Byyyye