Lol I love you guys.

But as you can plainly see, I hate myself a little for how late this is, and I apologize for that.

Bluemoone-Haiiiiiiii xD lol Kiwi told me you did a happier fic, and I read it, and it was beautiful. xD

And Alice as fun as it would be to help with the show the True Blood Creators wouldn't let me anywhere near the writing staff because If they did I would have killed off Sookie several seasons ago, and done a spin off with everyone else. And it would have been emotionally traumatizing. And everyone would be forced to wait for episodes cuz my muse comes and goes.

And just no...

Anyways here is a very very late update...

Thank Kiwi for pestering me until I finished. I hope it makes up for the horrendous

Chapter 4: No One Understands.

Pam sauntered after Tara, a deliberate pause in each step as they ventured further and further into the sea of green vegetation. Judging by the stubborn set in Tara's jaw, and the incensed expression on her progeny's face-the silence brewing between them was so the night kissed woman could stoke the embers of an already disastrous flame. Pam was in deep shit. She knew the consequences of her deplorable actions regarding Tara's mother would come back to haunt her, but she had been hoping for the backlash to happen at a later date. She was dreadfully unprepared to be belittled like a fucking child that had been "Acting out" for her own selfish reasons. Pam understood on a primal level that she was in the wrong for this no matter what her intentions were, but that didn't make her any less defensive. It didn't change the fact that she still considered Lettie the lowest form of human feces, and she wished the aging woman a slow and painful death.

Tara didn't share her sentiments though.

In Tara's eyes, Pam was terrorizing her mother on a petty whim, not because she cared about Tara but because she was making a point and satiating an ever inflating ego that demanded restitution for the agony Lettie had inflicted to her; inflicted to a vampire of the Northman family. Tara thought Pam was being a bitch because she could, and Pam hadn't given her any reason to think differently.

From day one, her appalling lack of communication with her progeny had always been a problem.

Short of pouring her metaphorical guts out to Tara, Pam wasn't sure she could express herself in a way that was clear. It was one thing not to see eye-to-eye to with her progeny, but Pam had alienated the woman she cared about for a very long time, because it was safer to hide behind cold indifference than it was to allow Tara to see beneath the surface of her hard exterior.

Pam had purposely held the dark skinned woman at a distance, not because she loathed her progeny or because she couldn't stand her presence, but because she could; because Tara's life amounted to an infinitesimal number of things to Pam, and that genuinely terrified the blond vampire. Every person she allowed herself to become attached to inevitably ended up disappointing her, or vice versa. Every relationship Pam had managed to foster over the last century whether it was the ephemeral relationship with her estranged family, or the eternal relationship with her wayward Maker- had slowly delineated into nothing , nothing but solemn memories. Cracked fragments of a broken art piece that would never be whole again.

Why should her relationship with Tara end any differently?

Insanity was defined as the practice of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

She kept investing herself in people hellbent on destroying themselves for any fucking justification under the sun.

And then expecting them not to make her miserable.

And every time she was sorely disappointed.

Even as her century old gaze fixed on the slender slope of her progeny's back-studying the stiff set of her shoulders, and the dangerous edge to her step Pam couldn't help but envision how things could be different right now if she had properly addressed their problems ages ago. She might be going with a moonlit stroll with her progeny instead of being led like a doe eyed fawn to be slaughtered by a butcher.

"I just...don't get you Pam." Tara's light tenor carried to her over the breeze, and Pam's abysmal mental trainwreck slowly began to careen off the tracks as she saw her progeny's steps falter. Their silent trek across the forest was over it seemed The hushed quiet was finally broken, and Pam was forced to direct her attention to the woman in front of her. Through their bond, Pam detected a feasible amount of resentment, anger, and yearning. So much raw emotion that Pam was staggering under the weight of it. Tara was finally ready to talk even if Pam wasn't ready to listen. "First you tell me it's just you and me living in the wind. You protected me. You helped me come to terms with being a vampire. Then everything went to hell, and suddenly you're telling me I don't mean shit compared to Eric." Tara's stormy eyes darkened as she tried to temper the volatile emotions rising to the surface. "You blow me off like I never mattered in the first fucking place, then as soon as he leaves you follow him like a lost puppy. You were gone for two years. Two fucking years. Why are you here? Why are you back in my life acting like you suddenly give a shit about me again?" The ebony skinned woman demanded angrily, slamming her fist against a tree. The bark cracked beneath her superior strength, and Pam took a step forward wanting nothing more than to grab the shaking fist, and justify her impulsive actions.

But one look at Tara's livid expression cured her of that urge.

Her progeny didn't want to be touched.

Or reassured.

Tara wanted to know why.

Why Pam was back?

Why Pam had put her through hell?

Why had Pam chosen Eric?

The blond vampire let a soft sigh escape her supple lips, clenching and unclenching her fingers at her sides. "You think I don't give a shit about you?" The ebony skinned woman scoffed disbelievingly at the bold question but Pam knew better. Tara wanted to believe she did, ached to believe her. But Pam had already proven to be unreliable. "Oh fuck me," Pam sighed, running a hand through her silky tresses as she gathered her thoughts, "I know my words and actions don't match up, but you have to know that I always cared about you. What we have holds merit. It means something. " Pam forced the softly spoken words out with effort. "You're the only person in this world besides Eric that matters." She admitted, her voice softening as the foreign words left her lips.

"You're full of crap Pam," Tara scowled fiercely, her monotone fading as she voiced her thoughts. "It took you two years to come to this revelation, and every day you felt me. You felt my sorrow, my pain, my grief. And you did nothing. You ignored me...like you always do when Eric is involved." Tara's eyes glazed over with tears she refused to shed. "And you expect me to believe that suddenly Eric Northman isn't the center of your fucking world...I can't do this with you again Pam." The night kissed woman shook her head, her tone falling to a gentle whisper.

Wincing at the barbed words, the older vampire tried to think of a viable response.

Anything to banish Tara's broken tone from her mind.

Anything to not see the anguish on the dark skinned woman's face.

"I'm not asking you to...I'm not asking you to take a backseat to Eric, but Tara I need you to understand something. He's my Maker and I will never give him up. Ever." Pam emphasized her words with a subtle shake of her head. "And you can't preach to me about cutting ties, because let's be brutally honest- you will never abandon your mother will you?" The flicker of anger and indignation that creased Tara's features was answer enough, and Pam pressed on stubbornly. "Even though she made you fucking miserable you can't hate her. You can't let her go. It is the exact same thing for me. I can't hate Eric. It' impossible...But I stopped looking for him. I came back here.." Pam took a shallow breath and rushed the words out-hating emotions and all the tedious feelings that came with them. "I came here because I actually missed you...and this shitty place." Pam gestured to the greenery around them. A very miniscule part of her had missed Bon Temps and all the inbred horrors that came with it, but there wasn't an ounce of her being that hadn't missed Tara. "And as terribly romanticized as this sounds, I want to make things right." The terrible cliché left a horrid taste on her palate but it had to be said. The dark skinned woman needed to be aware where they stood, and that Pam had no cards to play.

The older vampire would do damn near anything to start reconstructing her relationship with Tara.

And she needed her progeny to know that.

This time there wouldn't be potentially fatal misconceptions.

No laughable miscommunication errors.

Everything was out in the open.

The prolonged silence in the air wasn't reassuring, and measuring the dark expression on her progeny's face made Pam worry she had misspoken. She wasn't adept at relating what she was feeling. Every time something emotional left her mouth she felt like she was regurgitating the decrepit musings of a dying poet. Her replies were elaborate and creative but appallingly superficial. In the same breath she was apologizing for the past she was also admonishing Tara for the present. Her own inept handling of the situation was why Tara was so infuriated, and Pam was tired of history repeating itself over and over again—where she misrepresented how she was feeling, and Tara drew even further away from her.

"Pam...have you ever thought I don't want you to fix things? Our relationship was fucked from the very beginning. You didn't even want me as your progeny, I was just a bargaining chip so you could get Sookie to help you makes amends with that asshole." Tara recalled the past with a startling show of visual acuity, surprising Pam because the debacle Tara was referring to happened while her progeny was comatose. Tara had suffered a bullet wound to the head to protect Sookie Fucking Stackhouse, and shouldn't be remembering the grotesque details from that hellish experience. Tara's flawless recollection skills never ceased to amaze her, and her progeny wasn't done yet. Tara was going for broke, because the next words she uttered would haunt Pam for several years to come. "If you want to make things right, why don't you release me as your progeny?"

Pam's breath stalled.

An unprecedented amount of terror coursed through her, almost choking her.

What the hell was Tara talking about?

Release her?

Why?

Pam's typical abrasive response was devoured by the uncompromising amount of fear and anger ravaging her slender form. She hadn't considered releasing her progeny in two years, not since the day she left Bon Temps. Being suddenly reintroduced to the idea filled her with dread, and a plethora of irrational emotions she had no hope of controlling or accepting. Tara watched her, stone faced, as Pam was plagued by her own very mortal feelings. It took the older vampire several long, aching moments to recover after being consumed by the initial maelstrom of shock, confusion, and anger. Finally one strangled word left her lips. "No."

"No?" Tara's voice was an incredulous echo, one that was bound to have an argument behind it. "I don't think you get it Pam. Two years ago you threatened to release me because I didn't agree with you. You didn't give a shit how I felt, and you were willing to throw me away after we endured hell together. Everything we went through from usurping the Authority, to winning this fucking war...you stomped on. Why? Because Eric was more important to you." Tara made a mocking face-her voice dropping to a low venomous note. "It took me two years to realize it, but you didn't listen to me; you didn't want me, because we were never equals. Not like you and Eric were." Tara sighed softly, running a hand through her soft raven locks. " And now...I don't want you anymore Pam."

It took a herculean amount of effort not to gape at her progeny.

Coming to terms with what Tara was suggesting was putting a visible strain on her.

The ebony skinned woman wasn't the first person to ever cut ties with her.

The esteemed De Beauforts had been all too gleeful to dispose of the black sheep of the family.

However, an abundance of time had cured her of her grief over that debacle.

One hundred years of time.

But karma was a bitch, because here almost a century later, Pam was still getting callously discarded by the people she cared about.

...What was wrong with her?

Shuddering, the older vampire realized that this surreal moment was happening.

Tara was asking for something that was a distinct impossibility.

Even knowing that she had no one to blame but herself for her current circumstances, Pam wasn't satisfied. Tara was hers. Her progeny. Her family. Her fangs protracted with a slight click, her unreserved anger summoning the more bestial side of her to the surface. "Don't lie to me." Pam's penetrating gaze fixed on her progeny, and the ebony skinned woman shifted warily from foot to foot under the weight of her stare. "You can't tell me you're done...When the bond we share tells me otherwise. I may have a self indulgent complex where I think the world revolves around me, but that doesn't mean I'm completely oblivious to what's going on with you. You're not "done" with me as you so quaintly put it." Pam made a disdainful noise in the back of her throat, offended by the mere notion that Tara could disregard her so easily, she was no longer suffocating under the relentless surge of self deprecating emotions. She could see past Tara's facade again, and was dissecting her piece by piece. "You're scared of me. Of what I have to say. Of taking what I have to offer you." The older vampire drawled, her azure gaze softening minutely as she gazed her progeny. "Because you're scared it's only temporary, and the moment you let your guard down, I'll take everything away from you." She reasoned, finally deciphering through the intriguing tempest of emotions surging through their bond.

Tara's lips pursed into a thin unhappy line. "You make it sound like you haven't done it before." The dark skinned woman replied, "Pam I have no idea what you're offering, or what the fuck you want from me." Her progeny shook her head vehemently, "You want to be my friend? My Maker? My lover? What? Give me one good reason why I should be thrilled that you're still here? One good reason why I should be exalted that my Maker came back for me when you abandoned me for two years?"

Because it hurt to be without you.

Because I ache for you.

Because I don't believe in love,

But I believe in you...

Words.

Excruciating, unpronounceable words that were too pitiable to be voiced. Pam for all her bluster, and all of her charming oratory skills, lacked the courage to speak the words hovering on the tip of her tongue. Admitting that she had missed Tara, and then being immediately shot down had drained her of what little determination she had. Leaving Pam speechless, and Tara's invulnerable persona shattered by Pam's silence.

Once again, a chasm was separating them.

Swallowing them whole.

And leaving nothing but resentment, and confusion behind.

"Just...Leave me alone Pam." Tara's words were like a physical blow to the stomach, and Pam blinked at the utter finality of them. Then her progeny for the first time since their unification as Maker and Progeny, closed off her side of the bond. Putting an impregnable wall between Pam and herself. It was an unpleasant thing being intimately connected to another living entity only to have that bond severed without your consent. There was a sudden coldness invading the space Tara used to occupy, and Pam inhaled sharply as she watched her progeny walk away. The visual of Tara's retreating back making her that much more aware of how alone she was.

And how empty a singular existence was.

It was a miserable, and wretched experience having only herself as company.

Pam detested most vampires, most humans, and all fairies, but that didn't mean she could glean any sort of happiness from living out every day of her eternity alone.

Forever was a long time...

She doubted Tara knew what it meant to shun someone for that long.

She doubted the pain of being ostracized from those she cared about would last that long.

No emotion ever lasted that long.

Unless someone was constantly breathing life into it.

So the future didn't scare her.

But the present, the present was something to be reckoned with.

The only thing that soothed her right now was a curious numbness coursing through her body.

Poisoning her, and enriching her, even as Tara moved beyond her line of sight.

Left alone, Her words to the therapist she had gorged herself on what felt like a century ago surfaced in her thoughts with piercing clarity. You humans love your pain don't ya? You just love being in it. You even consider it a virtue. Cry the most at a funeral - you must be the best person. You promise to never forget each other, you promise to feel the sting of loss forever. Because for y'all, forever is just the blink of an eye. Your lives are pathetically brief. When we say forever, we have to mean it. So we move past our pain, we heal, we move on, because pain is a worthless emotion.

She'd said those words in spite.

Harnessing her anger to diminish the bond she had with Eric.

Back then.

She didn't want him to be used against her.

But there was a grain of truth in her words.

This overwhelming tide of emotion.

Was painful.

And in the grand scheme of things, pain was a worthless emotion.

She didn't know if she was ready to surge past it though.

So she buried it.

Foolishly.

Effortlessly.

A century of hiding her feelings behind cruel words, and inexhaustible sarcasm had made her rather good at not dealing with the problems worming into her life. Her gaze sidled over to the treeline where Tara had disappeared, and she slowly began walking in that direction. Relying on her senses instead of the bond connecting them. Traces of feeling trickled from Tara: Mostly anger, but it was hard to discern anything from her progeny because Tara completely cut herself off from Pam: Muting her. Muffling the "noise" from her side so Pam wouldn't know what she was feeling.

The silence in her mind was deafening.

The familiar warmth of Eric had been gone for a long time...

Having the cold invade her thoughts from Tara's end was infinitely worse.

Because it was recent.

It was raw.

And it was a constant reminder of her inadequacy.

As a Maker.

And as a person.

Shuffling quietly through the woods, she ducked under a low hanging branch, her steps slow and deliberate as she doggedly pursued Tara's scent. It didn't lead back to the Thornton residence, instead it veered off even deeper into the woods, circling over to the Compton estate where Tara had undoubtedly met up with Jessica and Willa. Her peers. And friends of choice. Because the people that used to matter had proven to be utterly worthless. Even the Stackhouses were nowhere to be found in this new malignant world, which was strange because usually when the supernatural community was turning on it's head Sookie Stackhouse could be found right in the middle of the upcoming apocalypse-as annoying and as empty headed as ever.

Lengthening her stride so she was running at a vampire speed, Pam tore through the woods her heightened senses picking up distant gunshots the closer she got to the Compton residence.

When Willa said starved vampires attacked them three or four times a week...

She clearly wasn't exaggerating.

With every progressive step, she began to see evidence of not one but several vampires who had recently traversed through these woods: Trees stripped down to just their trunks, like someone had purposefully reduced them to pathetic saplings on a whim. Jagged lines were carved into the soil, Marking the heavy footsteps of vampires who had worn a path into the earth by running at vampire speed through these woods. And of course the acrid scent of tainted blood as she drew closer to the Compton estate, meaning that several of the starved vampires had already met an unfortunate demise courtesy of the baby vamps that were just now entering her field of vision.

Slowing down to a stop so she was hidden in the shadows of the treeline, Pam peered across the sprawling lawn in front of her, noting the decapitated bodies of dead vampires that were slowly converging into puddles of blood; leaving nothing but a river of red and a UV bullet behind. Among the fallen were four figures that still stood defiantly against the darkness. Four Vampires. Three of which had lived with her at one point, and one whose identity was a mystery to her because all she could see was his back. And the throbbing veins in his forehead.

From her position, Pam was able to separate Tara's outline from the rest, and slowly her gaze trailed over her blood soaked progeny before sliding over to the other two baby vampires. Next to Tara, Willa looked like a bedraggled teenager that was barely on the cusp of adulthood. Eric's second progeny had her gun pointed at the ground, a dark scowl on her lips, and long wisps of brown hair clinging to her face as she glared at the gentlemen whose presence was still a mystery to Pam. Blinking in confusion, her gaze fell to Jessica last, noting how two years seemed to have made her more world weary. Jessica's pale face was marred by a deep frown, and like Willa her gun was also pointed towards the ground.

Then for the first time since she arrived someone spoke.

"You younger vampires are so funny...Those bullets don't mean shit if you can't hit me." The grotesque man drawled, a hint of laughter in his voice. "I bet none of you are even in your fiftieth year. Young uppity bitches..You can't touch me. I'm over a hundred years old." One slender eyebrow rose when she saw the older vampire cradle someone to his lips running his fangs across tan succulent skin, then a tantalizing scent drifted to her from her position in the shadows. Revealing to her why her baby vampires all looked pissed. And why all of them were deathly still.

This arrogant bastard was feasting on a fairy.

Which was why no one was shooting him.

Which was why Tara, Jessica, and Willa all appeared frozen.

There was a tangible fear in the air.

One that was purely derivative of losing Adeline.

And he was reveling in that fear because as long as he held Adeline close to him, as long as he had superior strength and speed, no one in the clearing could touch him, or deprive him of his meal. And no one could shoot him because he had Adeline as an impregnable shield to protect him. However, Pam wasn't in the clearing. She was in the shadows, and she doubted this man was capable of detecting her with the alluring smell of fairy blood so close to his nostrils. Not to mention, in terms of age, she was clearly older than he was. But the question was not whether she could save this girl from a potentially life threatening situation, it was whether she should? Two years had not changed her opinions of fairies.

She still loathed them all.

Equally.

And without discrimination.

"Listen you stupid fucktwat, We've all killed vampires older than us before, and it's always their arrogance that leads to their undoing. Having her alive is the only thing that is protecting you right now, but If Adeline dies, I swear to god I will kill you in the most painful fucking way I can think of." Tara promised, the bluff leaving her lips smoothly. Pam was almost impressed but even she could hear the exaggerated bravado in her progeny's words. If Tara was capable of killing this man in order to liberate Adeline she would have done so already. And he knew that too.

Pam sighed softly, shifting in the shadows.

Standing idly by was no longer an option.

Clearly Adeline was important to her progeny, which in turn made her life a matter of some import to Pam.

The man threw his head back in laughter, his adam's apple bobbing as he boisterously voiced his amusement, "Don't make me laugh, I can do whatever the hell I want with this girl," He emphasized his words by digging his fingers into Adeline's thigh, and making the fairy cry out in pain, a slight whimper leaving her. "And there's not a damn thing you can do abou-" His verbose claim died on his lips because in the time it took him to boast about his superiority, Pam had left the safety of the shadows and silently plunged her fingers through the back of his throat, ripping out his jugular through the back of his neck with one hand, and with the other hand she wrenched him back so he was forced to stare up at her.

"You are a very tedious little man." She murmured as blood trickled from his lips. It would take several minutes for his skin to re-knit itself back together, and even longer for the veins in his jugular to reform themselves since she had ripped them from his throat, and unceremoniously dropped them on the ground. "I'm always amazed when anyone unlucky enough to have a y chromosome is this stupid." Pam snorted derisively before callously throwing him to the ground, one hand shooting up to catch Adeline before she slammed into the dirt with him. This had all happened in the span of a few seconds so as soon as Pam caught Adeline, she was immediately converged upon by two concerned baby vampires.

"Pam, that was bad ass!...Extreme, And...ew." Willa rambled as she glanced down at the veins coiled on the ground by Pam's feet, before glancing up at Tara's Maker. "But holy hell, I thought we were in deep shit for a second there." Willa said, kneeling down next to Pam to check on the fairy who was trembling violently in the older vampire's grasp.

Jessica crouched down next to her, gesturing for Pam to hand over Adeline. Willingly, Pam offered the half fae over to the red head, unable to deal with the prolonged touch. "Take her." She said dismissively, happily giving the role of comforter to someone else. But to everyone's surprise, Adeline, refused to move, burying her face into Pam's shoulder.

"Adeline..." Jessica murmured, her mouth falling open.

Pam peered down at the girl in her arms, who appeared to be in shock.

Fanfuckingtastic.

It was evident that Adeline's interactions with vampires had done more than just traumatize her.

Placing her finger against her lips, Pam lightly broke the skin with her fangs so blood streamed from the cut. Then she traced the edge of Adeline's neck with the crimson liquid, sealing the wound, and furthering the illusion that the fairy was in prime condition, and hadn't just been fed on by some starving uncivilized prick from god knows where. "Pam...what?" Jessica stared at her in shock, stark disbelief creasing her features. "What are you doing here?" The red head asked, trying to understand Pam's sudden appearance with varying degrees of success. Pam's presence and her interaction with Adeline was beyond anyone's comprehension.

Even her own.

The older vampire sighed sending Willa a withering glare.

"Willa told me to come along and see what you insufferable group of neophytes are up too." Pam drawled unhelpfully, knowing that wasn't the definitive answer the red head wanted.

And Jessica frowned at the vague reply.

Tara's Maker went out of her way to be difficult.

Seriously.

Pam sighed her gaze sliding over the familiar faces, and lingering Tara's who wasn't looking at her, or anyone else for that matter. There was a metal clang as her progeny cocked her gun, brushing past her so she was towering over the man Pam had incapacitated. Without flinching, Tara pressed the trigger, and a deafening shot echoed through the clearing as the arrogant swine was reduced to a puddle of blood, and indecipherable chunks...

"Jesus Christ Tara." Willa hissed, her heightened hearing making the shot sound immeasurably louder.

Pam stiffened as slender fingers dug into her skin and Adeline began cry, her frame riddled by broken sobs. Her instincts demanded she distance herself from this human, but as she felt tears dampening her shirt, she found she couldn't act on her irritation. Despite the obvious disdain she had for emotions, she always seemed to be put in a position where she had to help someone come to terms with theirs. Awkwardly she patted the stripling of a girl, wondering how long she had to endure this uncomfortable position. "Just breathe." She advised the sobbing girl, very cognizant of the two cautious pairs of eyes studying her. Warning her to be very careful with the fairy in her arms.

Jessica's gaze was fixed on Tara, a frown darkening her normally bright features. "I wish we could have done that in the first fucking place." She complained, her voice a low grumble that everyone heard. Shaking her head, the baby vamp turned her attention back to Pam, her lips twitching upwards into a curious half smile."No Pam, what I meant to ask was, when did you get back to Bon Temps and Are you here to stay?" The red head elaborated on her earlier question, bewilderment still apparent on her face as she once again attempted to get some answers.

"Just...Leave me alone Pam."

Tara's words echoed in her thoughts.

Making her falter in her movements.

Making her hesitate for a fraction of a second.

Before a defiant chuckle left her lips.

"I got back a few days ago...and yes Jessica, I'm here to stay." Pam said simply, and in that instant she felt a sliver of surprise course through her bond with Tara. Before dark stormy eyes fixed on her. Studying her. Measuring her. Compelling her to articulate herself. To add substance to her words. Tara still didn't believe her.

But eventually she would.

Because Pam wasn't going anywhere.

Anddddd we're done here.

How do you feel right now? xD Leave your thoughts.

I'mma try to get the next update done...faster than this. But College and life are so distracting xD