Okay, so this is horrendously late, and it's actually been sitting on my hard drive for the past week now, but I wanted it to be perfect for you guys so it ended up being edited for a rather long time. The holidays did not help my cause at all, but I'm wishing A belated Merry Christmas to all of you, and I hope you enjoy this chapter XD
Necessity is the Mother of Invention
Pam felt it, the simplest of tugs, pulling her towards the mattress as Adeline refused to let go of her shirt. The fairy halfling was adamant in staying near her, and had recoiled from anyone else's touch when they tried to take her from Pam's grasp. Sheer terror drove the young girl to cling to the one that had saved her, and Pam was tasked with the tedious job of comforting her. However, it wasn't in her nature to offer false reassurances. Despite the tears rolling down Adeline's cheeks, Pam couldn't offer a scintillating explanation to distract her; she couldn't invent some meaningful drivel to console her—Phrases like: It's going to be okay, and it all gets better with time were only cruel deceptions that Pam refused to take part in. She knew that even if she did magically get the inclination to offer this girl some solace-her actions wouldn't matter. No matter how soft her tone was, or how gentle her touch, all Adeline could see or feel were the invasive fangs of a vampire pressed against her throat. Pam could feel it in the tense way the little Bellefeur held herself. Adeline was in shock. It was only at the insistence of the baby vampires downstairs that she guided the traumatized halfling to her room on the second floor.
Pam had every intention of leaving her there, till she felt the insistent tug on her shirt, silently begging her to stay. Sending the door a regretful glance, Pam sighed heavily and allowed herself to be pulled back so she was sitting on the mattress. Adeline used that opportunity to bury her face into the blonde vampire's midsection, her petite form shaking with silent sobs.
Pam stiffened and her hands hovered awkwardly in the air at the prolonged contact. "You are killing me with this endless barrage of tears." She muttered, unable to contain her irritation at the young girl clinging to her waist. She reached out with her fingers, forcing Adeline's chin up so she could see her tear stained face, and Pam's fangs protracted with a small click. "Do I look like the answer to all your prayers?" She hissed, making the younger girl shrink back against the headboard. "The only difference between me and the vampire outside is he's infected with a virus that makes him hungry enough to eat anything." Pam's nose wrinkled in distaste. "And I will starve before I drink fairy blood." She said stubbornly, her mind unwittingly wandering to Sookie Stackhouse. The blonde's enticing blood was not worth the price one had to pay to drink it. Pam was not ready to sacrifice everything for just a taste. Because that was always what happened around fairies. Looking at Adeline now, the young halfling had the same clueless look on her face that always drove Pam mad when Sookie was involved. Glancing away from the pathetic expression, she grumbled. "It leaves a bad taste in my mouth."
Adeline cracked a hollow smile. "...You're the first vampire I've come across that actually hates my scent."
Pam's gaze whipped around to rest on the subdued half fairy in her arms; and her slate blue eyes studied her as she dried her tears. That was the first time Adeline had said a word in Pam's presence. "And here I thought you were mute," The blonde vampire scoffed, her voice lowering to a dry drawl. "The first chance you have to dazzle me with your oratory skills and you waste it with some shitty line about me not being like the others." Pam snarked, rolling her eyes at the irony of it all. Only fairies felt the need to state what was blindingly obvious. "It's not your scent that repels me, its that helpless fucking look on your face." Pam made a crude gesture with her hand "It attracts vampires like stink attracts flies. You already have every baby vampire in Bon Temps swarming around you."
Adeline glanced away guiltily, and slowly disentangled herself from Pam, shying away from her disdainful tone. Needing to protect herself from the blonde's piercing stare, Adeline pulled her legs to her chest, and rested her head on her knees. "I told them they didn't have too...But Jessica kept coming back because she wanted to protect me, and then when my dad died—I couldn't turn her away anymore. The vampire attacks kept getting worse, and I couldn't..." Adeline trailed off brokenly, biting her lip. "I couldn't deal. Not by myself." She whispered, her eyes reflecting a deep rooted pain that stemmed from being alone.
Pam knew that pain well.
After two years of emulating that listless expression on Adeline's face-she was very aware of how painfully tragic it was to see the same set of faces every day, and then to suddenly see no one but the person standing in the mirror. That self same feeling of detachment, of being disconnected from every relevant person that mattered was dangerous. It was comparative to standing on the edge of a cliff with nothing but gravity to keep you planted, but at the slightest hint of wind against your back you could fall and no one would ever know when you impacted against the rocky earth below.
Pam had been teetering on the edge of that cliff for a long time.
The desolate feeling that came with losing Eric and Tara in quick succession kept pushing her farther and farther towards that gaping chasm that had been waiting to swallow her for a century. Ever since Pam left behind her life as a Madame in London, she'd been contenting herself by living in Eric's shadow. Wherever he went, she followed. She reserved her loyalty and affection for him only because he was the only one she could trust. But even Pam's feelings were subject to change. That was before the war against humans; before he released her and made her endure one shitstorm after another to protect Sookie's magical fairy vagina: That was before Tara.
Time was the best teacher for her, because after an innumerable amount of days wasted looking for her Maker, Pam had come to terms with the fact that her life did not revolve around him, and although she still held him close to her heart, she didn't need him to be happy.
She didn't need Tara either.
But that didn't change the fact that wanted her.
It was fucking ridiculous. All the delicious men, and luscious women Pam had ever come into contact with meant nothing. She wanted Tara so bad it physically hurt. That uncontrollable desire was the only reason she was sitting here talking to the fairy halfling in front of her. Under normal circumstances she would have tried to escape after the first ten minutes of being exposed to the combined stench of Bill Compton and fairy blood. Despite being able to empathize with the emotional torment Adeline was experiencing, she couldn't bring herself to actually care about what the girl was saying. Andy Bellefleur's death virtually meant nothing to her. Humans lives were so fleeting. After introducing fairies, vampires and werewolves into the mix it was only natural that their very mortal life spans would be significantly reduced.
Let's not forget that Andy was completely out of his depth confronting the supernatural community.
He was bound to die eventually.
"Well despite your father's unfortunate demise, you have 3 vampires downstairs all too happy to watch you sleep at night." Pam stated briskly, her eyes flicking over to the door that led to the ground level Bill's estate. "And the stupid carrot topped one is so overwrought with guilt, she'd happily take a stake for you." Pam gestured animatedly with her fingers, before rolling her eyes towards the ceiling as she tried to divine some semblance of patience. If Jessica had been human, then she would have been the second person Pam was familiar with that had died protecting her fairy friend. Tara had started a horrible trend by getting shot in the head to protect Sookie Stackhouse.
Adeline sucked in a harsh breath, her fingers clenching into the sheets on her bed. "You know about that?"
Pam scoffed, sending the girl a disbelieving look. She still thought children were intolerable. This fairy girl had the appearance of a 16 year old, but the naivete was practically leaking from her pores. "You'd be surprised the topics that come up when you're high on the blood of a vampire god. Jessica feels the need to divulge every pressing detail of her personal life while she's sober, now imagine that same blabbering while she's under the influence. It's absolutely riveting to hear her go on and on about utter bullshit." Pam gushed, every word dripping with sarcasm. Jessica's problems were an overt part of Pam's life even if she chose not to acknowledge them. The baby vampire called her the first time she drained someone dry; Pam was the first one to educate her on why silver was not an intelligent fashion accessory, and if she wandered down memory lane long enough she could vaguely recall participating in the red head's internet blogs.
It was no surprise that she was privy to the situation with Adeline too. Standing up from the bed, she creased out the wrinkles in her shirt, cutting the girl across from her an impatient look. "Now if we are done fucking around here, I think I've had enough bonding time for one evening..." Pam trailed off, her superior senses picking up the whisperings of a hushed discussion downstairs. Moving discreetly to the door, Pam was able to ascertain her name being thrown around in a heated debate that was too quiet for the Adeline to hear.
Willa: Well I dunno isn't her being back a good thing? She's one of us still right?
Jessica: Pam has never been one of us. Her, Eric and Bill are on an entirely different level than we are. Although she does get major points for coming back. My Maker is still traveling across the globe and promoting his book. What do you think Tara?
Pam edged closer to the door, even though every word they uttered was perfectly audible to her. Still hugging her knees to her chest on the bed, Adeline opened her mouth to say something about Pam's strange behavior and was silenced by a lethal glare. The blond vampire barely dared to breathe as she listened to what her progeny had to say.
Tara: It doesn't matter what I think. It's not like we can tell her to get the fuck out, and she's too fucking fickle for me to read. She says she's here for me, but she didn't give a damn about me earlier." Tara's words were bitter, and resentful, as the ebony skinned woman expressed herself to some of the few people she still trusted. "We'll see what her intentions are, if she's all about self she'll take what she wants and then she'll leave again."
The weary resignation in her progeny's tone made Pam want to corner Tara, and lavish her with affection so she wouldn't ever have to doubt her again. It also made her want to yell, and kill things because one of the few people that mattered to her was the one she had hurt the most.
"Pam?' Adeline whispered tentatively, trying to get the older vampire's attention.
Refusing to tear her gaze away from the door, Pam interrupted whatever the young girl was going to ask. "Put a muzzle on it fairy princess..." She groused, still irritated from having her flaws put on display. She knew she was selfish, despicably so, but the only thing she wanted right now was Tara. If wanting someone made her self serving, then Pam was content to be self absorbed. This one time satiating her desires meant so much more than just benefiting herself. It meant relieving Tara of two years of unrepentant agony and soothing the unrelenting ache in her chest that was begging for her progeny.
Willa: I don't know about the rest of you...But I'm glad Pam came back.
Pam strained to listen as the deafening silence following Tara's statement was broken.
Willa: I mean, I know she's kind of a bitch. I know she left us, but it really..." There was a shaky intake of breath before the baby vampire continued. "It really sucks being alone. The way I see it, Jessica has the guitar playing pretty boy, and you Tara, you have Lafayette and your mother. I don't have any living relatives. Eric left...and Pam is the only family I have that came back.
Jessica: Willa..
Tara: There you go with that bullshit again. You know you have us.
Willa: And I love you guys. But sometimes I just...
Tara finished for her softly. "Love ain't enough is it?"
Pam could feel another sickening hallmark moment coming on. She imagined there would be hugging and possibly tears. The mere idea of being present to hear such heartwarming scenes made her nauseous. Moving away from the door, she crossed over to the window adjacent to the bed. "You can tell the others I left." She muttered to Adeline as she yanked open the window with her fingers. Not waiting for a reply, she ducked outside into the crisp evening air, and crawled onto the roof. Adjusting her weight from foot to foot to get her bearings, she agilely darted to the roof's edge and jumped onto the dew covered grass below.
Her boots sank in the mud as she made a perfect landing and a litany of angry curses left her lips as she stomped through the muddy terrain. Another pair of perfectly good boots had been ruined as she stalked across the lawn of the Compton estate. She was eager to get away from the things she had heard, and the people she had seen tonight. Being introduced to Tara's fuck up of a mother had done a number on her nerves early on in the evening. The confrontation with Tara in the woods hadn't helped anything; and then being forced to endure the company of a woman who had an uncanny resemblance to Sookie Stackhouse in scent and stature was the icing on the cake for her.
Pam's patience had worn thin.
And she was in desperate need of some time to gather herself; Not to mention while the moon was still high in the sky, she had a chance to be productive with the few hours she had before morning. Taking a deep breath, she banished all thoughts of Tara, her inherent flaws, and her familial obligation to Willa from her head. She had no love for Eric's second progeny but hearing her name said with a hint of yearning and sadness- and actually being present when Willa said: Pam is the only family I have that came back, made Pam pause and re-evaluate how indifferent she was toward the brunette. Eric had turned the girl into a vampire as a political statement, but in a way the shrimp of a girl was telling the truth; They had the same Maker; In a way they were family.
The revelation was an unwelcome one that Pam would never admit out loud.
Sighing, she lengthened her stride as she continued her long trek through the darkness. She didn't want to ruminate too long about things she had no hope of changing overnight. Moving quickly past the treeline that swerved into the woods, Pam began making her way towards the warehouses she was sharing with Willa.
It had come to her attention that she was obscenely poor right now. She'd squandered most of her money trying to persuade considerably older, and considerably richer vampires to give her information about Eric's whereabouts. The greedy bastards would only talk to her after she offered them a fortune in bills, baubles, and useless trinkets. In the end her efforts were fruitless though. The only thing she had achieved was an empty wallet, and even emptier bank account. After one night of being free from the wild terrain, where her bed was a dirty burrow beneath the earth's surface-Pam was already fed up with her living conditions in the warehouse.
She had outgrown poverty and all it's vices.
She doubted she could go another night without a proper place to sleep and a bath
Her primary concern was right now was to make some money, so she could afford a house, however small. Pam had rebuilt herself from the ground up so many times it was almost second nature for her to start her life somewhere else all over again. Luckily, what she lacked in the monetary field she made up for in collateral. The warehouse she was currently squatting in was rich in historical artifacts that she had manged to collect over the years. Pieces of her life that she had stowed away for sentimental purposes were now considered relics and were worth a considerable sum.
Tomorrow she could go about the arduous process of selling the things she didn't need to whatever impressionable little dork that was craving 100 year old garbage. Even in a tiny town like Bon Temps there was always that person with too much money who wanted something priceless to spend it on. Pam had amassed plenty of dresses, furniture, and jewelery over the past century. Some materialistic idiot was bound to find her collection alluring. Pursing her lips as she pondered this, she arrived at the warehouses at almost no time at all.
Using her superior strength to crack open the heavy door, she slipped inside the darkened space. The warehouse had no lights inside to guide her through the darkness so she allowed the moon to illuminate what she couldn't see. She was careful to leave the door open a crack so she had a better grasp of the warehouse's interior. Moving agilely as a cat, she began rifling through her things to see what she willing to part with. Her hands ghosted over familiar satin dresses, discarding ones that were too worn to sell until she was left with a wide variety of crimsons, blacks, and lavenders. Pam stared at the clothes forlornly. They were too out of date for her to wear in this era, but she still looked damn good in them. Scowling darkly she began folding the dresses into a neat pile.
She couldn't part with them.
Maybe selling her jewelry would procure enough cash for her to live on for awhile?
After arranging her dresses by color and fabric, Pam stood up from her crouch and walked over to a dusty row of chests where she kept her old jewelry. She let her fingers dance across the wooden surface, testing how sound the container felt, before flipping over the heavy lid. Gold necklaces, bracelets and earrings greeted her from within the chests. Frowning heavily, she began dusting off each one, ignoring the voice in her head that was reminding her how she came to acquire each trinket. Every golden object she withdrew from the confines of that chest provoked a different reaction from her. The gifts from Eric made her smile. The baubles she'd been graced with as a daughter of the De Beauforts made her angry. The ones she obtained herself made her laugh.
She recalled liberating a few of these priceless gems from some unlucky person's corpse.
By the time she was done organizing everything she wanted to sell, there was only a depressingly small pile of antiques she was willing to let go of. "This isn't fucking working." Pam sighed in defeat, glaring at the items in front of her like they had personally offended her. She hadn't really considered herself a sentimental person until today. The blonde vampire was having serious issues getting rid of her possessions. They represented a time in her life that she had no desire to relive but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to discard her past so easily.
She was so engrossed in thought she didn't hear the gentle sound of footsteps approaching her from behind. "What isn't fucking working?" Willa's voice made her jump, and she huffed at her own inattentiveness. Turning around Pam's slate blue eyes clashed with familiar hazel, and the younger vampire raised one eyebrow in question. "And why didn't you say goodbye when you left? We didn't even know you were gone until Adeline said something." Eric's second progeny admonished her, not thrilled with Pam's deplorable communication skills. Pam had only been gone an hour or so. Willa must have left the Compton estate not too long after she did to arrive at the warehouse so fast.
"I was in a rush." Pam waved off the disappointed look like it wasn't effecting her. "I had thought...to make some quick cash by selling my old things" She gestured to the room around them that was filled with immaterial objects she had no need for, and her supple lips pursed unhappily. "But it's proving to be difficult because what I have is invaluable to me. I don't need anything here. I don't use this junk, but it's mine. These fucking backwater trolls will never understand the value of these objects. I earned them" Pam said with an implacable expression. A feasible amount of frustration was present in her tone, belying how fed up she was with her materialistic musings.
The blonde vampire had a nasty habit of equating how content she was; to how luxuriously she was living. She was obviously discontent in this shithole, and all of her instincts were screaming at her to fuck, kill, or eat whoever she had too to improve her situation. The selfish side of her however, could not even summon the resolve to sell an old necklace to help her cause. If Pam was brutally honest, she didn't want to fix this situation by herself.
She was tired of doing things by herself.
"Don't sell anything then, we don't need the cash right now." Willa reasoned, more than used to her present circumstances. The young brunette had already lost everything. She had already come to terms with the poverty she'd been left with. She was just happy she wasn't enduring it alone anymore. "Staying here a bit longer won't kill anyone."
Her easy going acceptance only served to fuel the anger stirring in Pam's heart though. Nothing made determination flourish like watching someone accept the shitty cards they are dealt. "Speak for yourself. I'm not staying here." She said darkly, her mind racing with an endless number of solutions for their living situation. They couldn't stay with Tara or Jessica because as Willa so quaintly put it that would be "leeching" off their friends. Not to mention Pam couldn't stand living in the same space as Lettie or Adeline: Someone would die.
Anywhere else required more cash than Pam had readily available.
And no one had the means to make that money.
With the infected vampires roaming the streets, normal vampires were not exactly a commodity people wanted in the working world. Barring normal tedious jobs like working at Walmart. There was no legal way for her to earn cash now that Fangtasia was gone, and Pam refused to go back to prostitution so the illegal ways for her to earn money were limited as well. Shaking her head, she allowed her fingers to drum restlessly against the nearby dresser—silently wondering how she was going to surmount these issues without selling any of the shit she owned.
Her gaze did a casual sweep of the room as she thought about this, and ended up lingering on the unexplored half of the warehouse where Eric's priceless antiquities were collecting dust. She'd almost forgotten that they shared the same storage space. A horrifying but altogther brilliant idea came to mind, and Pam's lips twitched upwards into a smile. "Forget everything I just said Willa...We're having an auction tomorrow and I'm going to show you how a vampire does business."
Her smile disintegrated into a smirk that made Willa stare at her with mounting concern."Should I be worried?"
Pam's only answer was a wry chuckle.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
"See ya Thursday Tara!"
Pam's progeny waved lazily at her friend as she left the Compton's illustrious abode. She had lingered there an hour or two after Willa left just to spend some time with Jessica before making the trek back home. Part of her routine for the week always ended with her spending time with Jessica, Willa, or Lafayette so she didn't lose touch with anyone. She found after two years that she could count the people she considered friends on one hand. Sookie, Pam and Eric were not among those numbers anymore. After her Maker got the fuck out of dodge, her relationships underwent a domino effect. Pam abandoned her for Eric, Sookie cut ties with her to be with Alcide outside of Bon Temps, and even Lafayette was wary around her at home. The tentative situation with Lala was funny for her because he was doing his damndest to keep his distance from her but if she picked up the phone and called him he would come racing to help her in a heartbeat. It wasn't her that he was trying to escape from it was the never ending shitstorm that followed her around that he wasn't too fond of.
She still loved him though.
He was the one person she never lost faith in, even when the world was weighing on her shoulders, and she was damn certain he never gave up on her. Following her circular line of thinking, a bitter admission from him surfaced in her thoughts, "Buddah wasn't lying when he said life was suffering that doesn't mean you get to check out early and leave me here."
So she stayed.
Because no matter how many times she tried to leave Bon Temps it was a fruitless endeavor. And every time some supernatural freak show brought her back it cost her dearly. This itty bitty town she'd grown up in had a bad habit of breeding hostility, hatred and rage because some inhuman fuck ups didn't know when to leave well enough alone. But despite the inherent resentment this town bred, she still considered it her home.
And she stayed.
But she was alone in her resolve not to run.
Cowardice or perhaps common sense had finally breached the walls of even the most recalcitrant minds. One by one residents of her backwater town began to leave and pursue other more safer accommodations. It was a small trickle at first, but when the infected vampires began pouring in that trickle ended in a dam breaking. Floods of people left that were eventually replaced by newer stupider people who had no idea what the hell was going on. That felt like an eternity ago, even though in reality it was scarcely a few months prior.
It hurt like a bitch losing everyone at once.
The dark skinned woman couldn't articulate how angry and worthless she felt in the aftermath of vamp camp. She had never had a spectacular grasp on how relationships work, but she was pretty sure the conclusion wasn't meant to tear your fucking heart out and stomp on it. She thought she was over it, or at least she wasn't an inconsolable mess anymore. But Pam...Pam wasn't being fair. Tara had already come to terms with the fact that her life was going to be tantamount to sailing on a sinking ship. People were going to swim with her or drown. But surviving was the only goal for her. She had forced herself to accept that she was helpless to make people want to stay.
And she grieved for them.
Every day for a long time she grieved for everyone she lost, but especially for Pam and for Sookie.
She stopped going to work at the Bellefleurs as a bartender.
When she remembered to eat-She only took small sips from her mother.
And when she slept her dreams were plagued with nightmares that made her endure the staggering feelings of emptiness and loneliness she'd felt the day Pam left over and over again.
And now Pam was back?
Tara didn't even know how to react to her presence. She hadn't expected to see her Maker any time within the next century. And she hadn't expected to be overwhelmed at the mere sight of her after two years of being tormented by yearning for her. When Tara had arrived home earlier that night, she'd almost fallen over when she'd caught wind of her Maker's unique aroma. It had taken her several moments to gather herself, and once she actually spoke to the sadist who had tantalized her senses, she found herself unbalanced every time Pam apologized, or said something sincere that Tara had only dreamed of hearing from her Maker's lips.
But despite the apology.
Despite the fact that Pam was swallowing her ego.
Despite the fact that her Maker had returned.
Tara was still hollow from two years of heartache.
She didn't want to commit herself to someone who left her, when her life had become defined by the people that were still around.
She had already survived without Pam for a long time now. When she could look past her own abandonment, she was able to clearly see that there were other vampires that were just as lost as she was. Her road to recovery started a year and a half ago. Back then, Willa was a hot mess, who barely knew how to control the monster inside of her and Jessica was still convinced that she didn't deserve to live because of terrible things that she had done. Bill wasn't around to help her deal with the guilt consuming her, and Eric wasn't around to guide Willa through the baby vampire stage so Tara found herself assuming the role both Makers had so callously discarded. She taught Willa everything she knew about being a vampire, and she made sure to ingrain herself into the day to day grind of Jessica's life. She couldn't change the red head's perspective but she could stop her from something stupid if she was around more.
Unsurprisingly, her daily routine worked wonders for everyone.
Spending time with each other served as a balm to soothe the scars Vamp Camp had left behind.
She spent a six months after that distracting herself with other people's problems, so she wouldn't have to deal with her own. Her thoughts were constantly drawn to Pam, like her Maker was a beacon in her mind. Tara couldn't help but remember the little subtle things she found so alluring about her; the glint in her azure gaze when she wanted something; the sarcastic twang that became audible when Pam was annoyed; the subtle twitch of her lips when she was happy, but didn't want anyone to know. The blond vampire had cruelly taken possession of heart, and Tara didn't know if she would ever get it back from her.
It was doubtful though.
Pam didn't like parting with things she considered hers.
Stifling a yawn as she felt dawn hovering on the edge of her senses, Tara began walking faster to get to her house. Her mother would be waking up soon, and since Tara didn't have a key she needed to arrive on time to get inside her home. She didn't want to get there too early and risk rousing her mom from some much needed rest, but she didn't want to be too late either because than she'd end up a deep fried vampire. In the time that followed the re-integration of the vampires into society, Tara had unthinkingly moved in with her mother. In her brief moment of insanity she had forgotten that Lettie was dating Reverend Daniels, and she would have to watch the woman who had never given her the time of day pander to a man that only cared about her after she found Jesus. Being the lucky boyfriend also allowed him to own the spare key to the house so Tara was forced to either climb through the window or knock on the door. She wasn't really thrilled with the living situation.
Where was he when her mother was an alcoholic?
That had been another unprecedented problem that had arisen in the last year or so: Her mother. On the eve of this new era when vampires were roaming the streets her mother had begged to be the one Tara drank from monogamously. It was a good idea in theory, but Lettie Mae Thornton didn't find it relevant to tell her daughter she was taking Warfarin for a stroke. So when Tara finally got her appetite back after not drinking that much for several months, the first thing that happened was Lettie Mae ended up in the emergency room because the blood thinners made it impossible for Tara to drink from her without eliciting some sort of violent reaction.
Watching the nurses strap her mother's thrashing form onto the hospital bed had left Tara with hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach: Seeing her mother hustled into the intensive care unit only magnified that feeling till it was unbearable. After spending the day sleeping on the hospital chair, only to be refused visitation while Lettie rested, Tara had resolved to never drink from her again.
Her primary source of food now came from Reverend Daniels, who had offered to give her blood in place of Lettie. In return she kept them both safe in the house they all shared in the projects. However, since he was around the same age as her mother, and had a plethora of other health problems he was being medicated for, she only drank from him in small doses. Most of the time she was forced to go hunting for her food.
But one fucked up situation wasn't enough.
Oh no.
Not too long after Tara's abrupt change in dietary exercises- Andy Bellefleur died at the hands of an infected vampire. Jessica was the one to call her and inform her of his demise, and had begged her to go to the police station and check on Adeline with her. They had found more than they bargained for when they arrived at the police station. The young fairy halfling was mute with shock and horror. It didn't take a psychiatric diagnosis to see she was traumatized by what vampires had done to her family, and had retreated inside of herself to cope. Arlene eventually showed up with every intention of taking her home, but Jessica stopped her. Bill's progeny felt obligated to protect her, and wasn't going to let someone else be responsible for her. The young vampire ended up glamouring Arlene so she could take Adeline home to the Compton estate.
That was six months ago.
Since then Adeline had been making a slow yet steady recovery in Jessica's care. But it was hard because the vampire attacks were unrelenting. To help the cause Tara had invested in a gun that could handle U.V. bullets and organized her time with Willa and Jessica so everyone had a shift protecting Adeline or her mother. For these last few months her schedule had been working. They managed to live a somewhat normal existence.
And in the midst of all this drama, she didn't have time to agonize about Pam.
Until yesterday.
When her Maker came back and unearthed all the shit Tara had managed to bury over the last two years.
Sighing noisily, Tara dredged up the steps to her porch, and pushed open the creaky gate. She was so conflicted about Pam's presence. On the one hand she was utterly thrilled. Not only was Pam back to stay-supposedly she was back for her. It was surreal to see a woman she thought was incapable of returning her feelings, to be suddenly acting remorseful, and breathing life into the possibility of love. But if she was honest, her emotions were still raw from Pam leaving and she was terrified of going through that pain again.
She didn't think she could endure the same harrowing experience twice.
So no matter what Pam said, or how sincere it sounded, Tara was going to be unmoved. She was going to act like she wasn't entranced by her Maker, and like her presence didn't mean the world to her. Because the moment Tara stopped pretending was the moment that she opened herself up to be hurt again, and she just didn't have the time or the inclination for that bullshit. Stalking past the gate, she walked up to her door, and rapped her knuckles against the wood a few times, listening intently for a response. She'd been outside, lost in thought for an eternity, so that gave the occupants in the house plenty of time to wake up.
She heard a brief shuffling inside, before the door opened, and her mother's familiar profile graced the entranceway.A flicker of annoyance entered Lettie's gaze as she absorbed Tara's bedraggled appearance, before the look was replaced with one of worry and concern. "There you are- I was worried when you walked off with that woman." Tara felt herself getting defensive. The disdain in her mother's tone when she mentioned Pam was not appreciated. And neither was the disgust on her features. Tara saw similar looks directed at Willa and Jessica when Lettie thought no one was observing her, and she had to wonder if it was because they were vampires or because Lettie genuinely didn't like them?
Did her mother give her that look too?
Frowning at the thought, Tara shook her head. "I'm fine Mama...Pam's harmless" She shrugged, as waited to be invited into the house. Opening the door wider to allow Tara access into their home, the ebony skinned vampire took the non verbal invitation, and stepped inside. She was blatantly lying to her mother. Pam was anything but harmless. The blonde was a fucking menace that Tara was undeniably attracted too. But at the same time the night kissed woman was repelled by her. The duality of her emotions was draining, and she was constantly paranoid about what direction her feelings should go, but this incomprehensible torrent of emotion was expected. Nothing was ever simple when Pam was involved.
"How can you say she's harmless? I thought I was gonna meet Jesus early last night." Lettie bit her lip, the wrinkles lining her face becoming more prominent as she frowned. "I dunno if it's a good idea for you to be making friends with her again. She's got the devil in her Tara." Her mother cautioned, falling back on her natural safe zone: religion. Before Lettie ever got involved with Reverend Daniels, her mother had sequestered herself to the teachings in the bible, and had been using the words in the Holy book to justify everything that happened in or out of the Thornton household. Since hooking up with the good Reverend—her mother's holy mannerisms had only got worse.
Tara couldn't count the times since she moved back into her mother's house where some Bible verse ended up being taken out of context so her mom could have the last word. Every day it was an endless barrage of :
Girl don't you know the supernatural world is the devil's playground?
Or
You can't use man's reasoning to make life decisions Tara—What would Jesus do?
Or her personal favorite:
This is the end of the world Baby. The Lord's testing us to see what we will do. If you repent for the things you done as a vampire he'll forgive you.
Snorting derisively at Pam being described as a devil, Tara rolled her eyes. "We're not friends mama and I don't want to talk about Pam." She said bitterly, brushing past her mother to get to the stairs. Moving at a vampire's speed, she blurred past the steps, and disappeared into her room before Lettie could utter a word in reply. Just to be sure she had escaped the conversation, she closed the door behind her. Her room was a simple space, with almost no decorations. When the shades were drawn no light was able to leak through, and it served as a decent chamber for her to sleep in and block out the world around her. She didn't want to listen to a lecture about her Maker. Tara already had all of her own doubts involving Pam. Moving over towards the bed, she allowed herself to fall forward and plummet into the soft sheets.
No matter how she felt about it, it didn't matter because Pam was here to stay.
And that's it for now. What did you think? How'd you feel about Tara's Pov?
Which by the way is not easy to write. xD
Leave your thoughts.