Calendar Girl
This chapter is about 5,700 words. Shorter than Chapter 2 but longer than Chapter 3. I am guessing that this will be my usual chapter length for this story. So if you like to read in smaller doses, line breaks will make good stopping points.
Chapter 4 – A Fool's Paradise
The Doctor studied the curious book he had bought Rose with the same amount of interest he gave to an Agatha Christie mystery. This was likely because the concept of a calendar was about as mysterious to him as a whodunit novel. The same seven days repeated every week. The same twelve months repeated every year with a maximum of a three day variation in their length. And, with only rare exceptions, the holidays repeated on the same date each year or occurred on the same day and week within the month each year. The coming of these holidays was never a surprise, and yet for some reason humans had the need to draw it all out in grid with the holidays labeled in a dark boldfaced font so they could not be missed.
Rose had marked certain holidays with a star, and the Doctor assumed these days held a higher sentimental value for her. What intrigued him was that one holiday had been scribbled out. Starting with Easter Sunday and their visit to Birmingham, Rose had started marking elapsed time by drawing a large X on the calendar at the end of each day. According to Rose's system, eight days had passed since the unreadable holiday should have occurred. He was familiar with Earth customs and holidays, but he could not remember what the unreadable holiday was and wondered whether it had been marked out because it was accidently missed or because it was a day that she did not care for.
The Doctor was about to check the Tardis database for information on Earth holidays when Rose entered the console room with two cups of tea. "Brought you a cuppa," she said as she handed him a cup of tea, already prepared the way he preferred. "Thanks for taking me to the cinema today. That hologram theatre was quite fun, though it was a bit too real during the explosions." She sat down on the jump seat, and took a sip of tea. "We should go back and see another one, but maybe a historical drama or something next time."
The Doctor leaned against the console opposite her and nodded, but he was preoccupied with the mysterious cancelled-out holiday. "What happens on the first of April?" he asked, not caring that it was an abrupt change of subject.
"Nothing important, really," said Rose with a shrug of her shoulders. " 'S'called April Fool's Day, and everyone thinks it's a big laugh, but I don't really find it funny."
"Why?" The Doctor knew Rose to have a cheerful disposition and a good sense of humor. A day of laughs seemed like something she would love.
"Because the aim is have a laugh at the expense of someone else. I know some of the tricks are harmless, but many go too far." Rose shook her head and took another sip of her tea. "I had a few mean tricks pulled on me by schoolmates when I was young, and every year after that I'd try'n convince my mum to let me stay home till it reached noon and all the pranks would stop."
"What'd they do?" he asked, feeling upset on behalf of the younger Rose.
"Cup of water that leaks—that sort of thing," she said. "Noting damaging, but they were still embarrassing. Then the year I was thirteen, I borrowed a biro from Callum Gray that was made to leak ink. It ruined my school work and my uniform, and I had to go the whole day lookin' a mess."
The Doctor felt a strange sense of protectiveness rise in him. He sat his tea cup down on the console and squared his shoulders as if to fight this perpetrator of injustice. He half considered waiting until she fell asleep, going to London in 1999, and giving the prankster the opportunity to experience the same embarrassment Rose had felt.
Rose must have guessed what he was thinking because the idea was instantly shot down. " 'S'okay now," she said. "Callum got detention for it, and I forgave him eventually. Still, I didn't care for the holiday after that."
"Understandable," said the Doctor with a single nod. "Ruined your fondness for tricks and surprises, I'm guessing."
Rose put down her now-empty cup and thought a moment. "Not entirely," she said. "I just like them better when it's my choice and there is no humiliation. Like a magic act or a fun house."
Rose's words gave the Doctor an idea that was much better than avenging her honor. "What you need is a new experience to replace the bad ones. What do you think?"
"I don't know," said Rose cautiously "Depends on what you have in mind."
"Astro Pandellus," said the Doctor. "Like a fun house, but more: An entire asteroid full of naturally occurring tricks and illusions."
"Is it a safe?" asked Rose. "Because if it's going change my opinion of April Fool's Day, it would probably be best if we don't almost die."
"It's a family tourist destination," said the Doctor. He considered his jeopardy-friendly companion for moment before continuing. "Which means it's perfectly safe for most everyone, but probably a disaster waiting to happen for you."
"Oi!" Rose exclaimed as she shoved the Doctor with her foot. "We've had plenty of danger-free excursions: Ednor, Melunia, the cinema today…Wait is that it? Three? Were the rest really…" Rose started naming locations as she counted on her fingers. "Henriks, Platform One, Cardiff, Downing Street, Birmingham, Belfast. That's twice as many that were dangerous!" Rose began to laugh then pointed to the Doctor. "You weren't kidding when you said it's always dangerous."
The Doctor was a bit bewildered at her amused reaction to danger, but was caught up in her contagious laughter.
"That settles it then," Rose said wiping her eyes and catching her breath. "Dangerous or not, first thing in the morning we are going to redeem April Fool's Day."
"Fantastic!" It had been a long time since the Doctor laughed like that. Maybe the lighthearted excursion would mean catching more of Rose's contagious laughter.
The Tardis hung in space high above a large asteroid. The doors were open and the two passengers were sitting on the edge with their legs dangling below them, taking in the sights of the cosmos as if they were in a garden swing in the countryside.
"Tell me again how this is possible," Rose said. Space was supposed to be freezing, and though all she was wearing were her favorite blue jeans, a basic white cotton camisole, and her socks with no trainers, she was completely comfortable. Why this amazed her more than the fact that she was not getting sucked out into the void or why she could breathe, she didn't know. There was just something fascinating about being completely comfortable in the middle of outer space.
"There's an air shell that surrounds the Tardis" the Doctor said. "Extends the atmosphere and temperature of the interior by a foot or two."
Rose looked down on the asteroid that was to be their destination for the day. It looked like several different colors of gemstones trapped together within another greyish rock. The light from the star it was orbiting made portions of it glimmer the way the setting in a ring would do as it hit the light.
"So this is Astro Pan Dulce," Rose said of the multi-colored wonder. "It's beautiful."
The Doctor smirked and shook his head slightly.
"What?" Rose asked.
"Astro Pandellus," corrected the Doctor, suppressing a laugh. "Not Pan Dulce. You just called the asteroid 'Sweet Bread.'"
Rose smiled. "So what's Pandellus mean then?"
"Roughly translated: 'the star that defies all illumination,'"
"But it's actually shining, the way the light from the star is hitting it," said Rose.
"It's a bit of an ironic name," the Doctor said. "Shines like a star from afar but darkens your perception once you reach it. It's also been called 'the star that flees enlightenment,' or 'the fool star'."
"Wow that's deep," said Rose in mock appreciation. "Bet the people who named it were really proud of themselves."
"You should see the welcome sign and the plaque that explains it all."
"Really?" said Rose astonished. "'Cause I was only joking…"
"Really," the Doctor assured her. "So are you ready?"
A few minutes later, the Tardis materialized on the asteroid. Rose opened the doors cautiously. "Can we breathe here?" she asked, making sure not to step out beyond the Tardis' protective air shell. "I mean, asteroids don't usually have their own atmosphere, right?"
"They don't usually," said the Doctor, looking at the console monitor, "but this one has an artificial atmosphere. Calibrates itself to the atmospheric content of the ships that land on its surface."
"What if there are two ships with different atmospheres?" asked Rose.
"Good question!" The Doctor said with a grin. "You're always thinking, Rose."
Rose waited for an answer but the Doctor had gone back to looking at the screen. "So?" she asked.
The Doctor looked up. "Hmm?"
"So what do they do if there are two different atmospheres needed?"
"I don't know," said the Doctor. He shrugged his shoulders, raised his eyebrows, and smiled with lips closed. Rose had seen the look before and was pretty sure it was his attempt to get out of explaining things by being charming. "I said it was a good question, not that I had an answer."
"You're impossible," said Rose with a laugh. "So can we go now?"
The Doctor looked at the readings on his screen. "Just a mo'…It's still calibrating. Three, two, one…Done!"
Rose took a step onto the asteroid. As she did, the pattern on the bottom of her trainers made an imprint in the dust. "It's like walking on the moon," she said with a rush of giddy exhilaration. "At least from what I'd imagine from the pictures and films." The portion of the asteroid they had landed on was grey and rocky like every picture of the moon she had seen, only this was a smaller chunk of rock and not quite spherical. "It's amazing! I am actually out in space!" She looked out at the crater-filled landscape then beyond to the inky void. "I mean, we've gone to some moons and planets but they all had sky. This feels like being an astronaut…except without the bulky space suit."
"If that amazes you, wait till you see what we came for."
The Doctor took Rose's shoulders gently and turned her to the right. He waited as she looked up. In front of them was a sign as large as the ones she saw along motorways. In giant illuminated letters in every color of the rainbow it said "WELCOME TO ASTRO PANDELLUS." It reminded Rose of the pictures she had seen of Las Vegas in the fifties and sixties.
"Is that neon?" Rose asked amazed at the retro style of the sign.
"Different technology, same concept," said the Doctor.
Below the giant sign at Rose's eye level was a wordy plaque that explained the origin of the asteroid and its eventual use as a tourist destination. Rose skimmed it to get an idea of the basic history of the asteroid. Fragments from various planets of a solar system had exploded and were trapped in the asteroid belt of the solar system they were now in. They merged to form Astro Pandellus, which was later discovered by human pioneers on their way to start a new colony.
Rose re-read the plaque then looked around at the barren asteroid. "Where are all the awe-inspiring sights and wonders the plaque describes? When we saw it from above it looked like it was made of precious gems."
"We saw the other side," the Doctor said. He started walking past the sign and Rose followed behind him. "It is beautiful from space, but you can't walk on it. Those fragments formed different 'awe-inspiring' caverns within the asteroid. But you enter from the plain side." The Doctor stopped in front of a modest cave opening. Above it was a sign that read "ASTRO PANDELLUS CAVERNS" with the same multi-colored glowing letters as the large sign.
Rose followed the Doctor through the cave entrance to a spiral staircase which, according to another sign, descended one hundred and fifty feet. The handrail of the staircase was illuminated with small white lights that reminded Rose of the twinkling fairy lights that adorned houses at Christmastime. Each step glowed a different color, repeating in the rainbow order as they descended. The Doctor and Rose walked carefully down the winding steps that seemed to go on forever. Once they finally reached the bottom, they encountered two corridors. In front of them was a map of the caverns. It was laid out in a wobbly asymmetrical figure-eight pattern with each chamber labeled with names such as "Sterling Spires" and "Hall of Mists". The fuchsia dot marked "You Are Here," was located at the point where the two circles met.
"Each loop takes about an hour," said the Doctor. "Which path would you like to try?"
Rose studied the map. "Why don't we do both?" she suggested. "We can always change our mind if we've had enough."
"Fantastic! Left or right first?" The Doctor held out his hand.
"Left." She took his hand and headed toward the left tunnel.
Artificial lights were imbedded in the walls of the tunnel that the Doctor and Rose had chosen, but as they continued forward, the lights grew progressively dimmer. After several minutes of walking, the snaking passageway had become completely dark. The Doctor felt Rose stop. He squeezed her hand for reassurance. "Carry on around the bend," he told her. "I can see a bit of light ahead." Rose did as bidden, and as soon as they had turned the corner, they entered a large subterranean room that was roughly thirty feet high and about the same in circumference. The entire room was bathed in an aquamarine glow. "It's caused by the basidio luminosa," the Doctor told Rose, "a fungus-like animal that feeds off the radiation in the rocks. The artificial lights were dimming so our eyes would adjust to see the bioluminescence properly."
"It's beautiful," Rose said in a voice so low it was almost a whisper. "It reminds me of something out of my dreams of a child. Like a fairy ball or something." She sighed. "I could stay in this room all day." They lingered for a few more minutes before following the marked path into another narrow passageway. This time the lights in the wall became brighter as they continued their journey.
Soon they reached the next chamber. In this one, semi-transparent crystals with a sliver hue rose like stalagmites from the floor of the cave. Each crystal obelisk was about the same height as the Doctor, and the shiny surface created a distorted looking-glass reflection in each one.
"It's like a hall of mirrors," said Rose, " 'Cept we look like ghosts in them." She pulled the Doctor over to the crystal she was standing in front of. "Look, I can see right through you!"
The Doctor was beginning to think that her statement was true in more ways than one. She seemed to have a knack for answering a question he hadn't asked or anticipating his actions before he did them. She also acted as a mirror. She had a way of causing him to look at himself and reflect on things he'd rather let stay buried. Yet for some reason, when he did open up to her, it took some of the sting away.
"Doctor?" Rose said after he had been standing in thought for some time, "You okay?"
"Fantastic. Ready to move on?"
The Doctor and Rose made their way through the tunnels and took their time in each of the various chambers. One had bubbling hot springs teeming with tiny translucent fish that had adapted to handle the intense heat. That room was followed by an immense cavern filled with a maze of stalactites that hung from the ceiling of the cave, stalagmites that rose from the floor, and pillars where the two had fused together. Another room seemed to have walls of gold, but was really coated in a gold-hued mineral called iron pyrite that was also known as fool's gold.
The tunnel leading to the exit of the left loop subjected the Doctor and Rose to bursts of hot misty air coming from the walls and floor. There was no set pattern to these naturally occurring jets of air, and several times the startling effect had caused Rose shriek and jump slightly. By the end of the corridor she was keeping rather close to the Doctor, and he had to chide himself for enjoying the attention he received when the startled Rose would instinctually grab for his arm.
"That was an hour?" Rose said as they found themselves facing the sign with the map again. "I should've taken more time."
"Just a tick over," said the Doctor showing his wristwatch to Rose. "Want to see more?"
Rose nodded "It's been brilliant, but I'm still waiting for things that defy enlightenment, or whatever it is Astro Pandellus is supposed to mean."
"Yeah, might be a bit of clever marketing, the name," the Doctor said with a grin.
"Still, it's been amazing," she said. "We might as well see the rest." And with that, she took the Doctor's hand and entered the corridor on the right.
The right loop, like the left, had different cavern chambers with different features. Rose loved the chamber covered in ice and the cavern in which the sediment in the walls looked like a painting of a vivid sunset. She also enjoyed the room in which mild-yet-constant seismic activity made crossing through to the other side a bit of a challenge. Still, nothing lived up to the claims of illusion and trickery.
"I think we're nearing the end," said Rose as she and the Doctor emerged from a chamber with acoustics that created incredible echoes. "There were only four areas labeled on the right side of the map."
"Then we have a problem," the Doctor said, pointing.
In front of them were two openings spaced about six feet apart from each other.
"Which is the exit?" asked Rose. "The path's not marked and neither way seems to be lit."
Rose watched as the Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver. He walked over to the entrance of each one, scanned them, then shook his head.
"What'd you learn?" asked Rose.
"Only that the rock is made of limestone," he said. "I can't tell much else without going in."
"Okay, let's pick a side and try it out," said Rose.
"Let me go first," he said "I can use the sonic screwdriver as a torch. I'll go in a few paces then call if it seems safe."
Rose reluctantly agreed and watched as the Doctor disappeared into the darkness. Thirty seconds passed. The Doctor did not call for her. Sixty more seconds elapsed. Nothing.
"Doctor?" called Rose "What do you see?"
There was no answer.
"Doctor! You were only going to go in a few paces!" she shouted into the rocky archway. "Doctor?" Rose waited several seconds for an answer. "Okay Doctor, if you don't answer this time, I'm going in there. In the dark. Alone. It'd be really nice if you answer me, okay?" Rose counted to ten, but there was only silence.
"Here goes nothing," she said to herself. She took a deep breath then stepped forward.
"Doctor, can you hear me?" she called with a shaky voice into the darkness. Hearing no answer, she moved forward with trepidation. One step. She took another breath to try and steady her nerves. Two steps. Where was he? "Doctor?" she called again. There was no reply—she had to keep moving. Three steps. Breathe. Four steps. She could do this, she could do this. Fi—
The floor dropped out from beneath her, and in total darkness she began sliding down some sort of incline covered in a slick substance. If Rose had not been terrified, she might have been able to liken it to a waterslide, but that comparison would not occur to her until many hours later. She was grateful when her descent ended with a hard thud onto a surface that was slightly softer than stone. Her second bit of good fortune was that she had landed in another place inhabited by the basidio luminosa. In the greenish glow, Rose could see that the space she occupied was about the size of a one-car garage and that the ground on which she had fallen was covered in a moss-like substance. Other vegetation with flowers and leaves sprouted from it and grew like vines along the walls. And on a large rock at the opposite end of this enclosed space sat the Doctor.
"Doctor!" Rose called out as she ran to him.
The Doctor gave no sign that he had heard her. He was looking at a yellow flower that was right at his eye level, and he seemed to be talking to it. "Not on the map," the Doctor said rapidly. "Not on the map at all." He shook his head. "Right here, but not on the map." The Doctor laughed then nodded at the flower. "Such a surprise!"
"Doctor." Rose placed herself between the Doctor and the flower. "It's Rose. Are you okay?"
"Rose!" exclaimed the Doctor once he had noticed her. A grin spread across his whole face, but unlike other occurrences, Rose found his expression disturbing. "This place, Rose! It's not on the map!"
"Yeah, I heard you say that one already," she responded. "Might have been nice of them to alert people about that fifth step."
"But isn't it fantastic, Rose?" The Doctor leaped to his feet. "They don't know about it!"
"Who doesn't know?" Rose stood so she could look in the Doctor's eyes. They didn't look any different, but rose could tell the Doctor was under the influence of something. Though she didn't know what caused it, Rose was familiar with the behavior. She had helped more than one friend who had been too inebriated to think clearly.
"The mapmakers!" the Doctor said with a laugh. "We're safe here. They'll never find us."
"Yeah, not exactly comforting news, that," she said. "I'd call that being stranded."
"But we can live here." The Doctor's face was earnest. "Just us." He picked her up in a hug and spun her around.
As soon as her feet touched the ground, Rose pushed him away. Though she would have been thrilled to receive a hug like that from the Doctor under normal circumstances, the Doctor was clearly not in his right mind, and Rose needed to figure out why.
"Doctor, have you had anything to eat or drink?"
"No," the Doctor answered. He then started rambling about a human's need for food and sleep and said something about making a hammock for her.
Rose paced as she tried to determine the source of the Doctor's strange behavior. It could be anything from the slimy stuff that they slid down on to the pollen in the flowers. Whatever it was, it must only affect Time Lords, because she was fine. If she couldn't figure out what the source of the intoxication was and how to reverse it, she would have to find a way out of the pit they were in without any help and somehow convince the Doctor (who seemed enamored with the place) to come with her.
After a moment she stopped pacing and sat on the rock the Doctor had been sitting on earlier. "This is hopeless," she told the flower. She was tired and hot, and she was stuck. As if in answer to her discomfort, a cool wind came from somewhere above and flowed to a crack in the wall opposite her. She enjoyed the feel of the breeze, but it had a sweet smell that reminded Rose of the stewed prunes her neighbor would eat. It almost turned her stomach.
Rose thought the Doctor must have had the same reaction, because she heard a gagging noise coming from his direction. However, when she turned to look him, he was bent over, holding his throat, and gasping for air.
"Doctor!" she shrieked as she ran to assist him. "What's wrong with you? What happened?"
The Doctor made a sweeping gesture with his hand that Rose guessed to mean "wind" then clutched his throat with both hands.
"That breeze that came through did this?" She asked. "Like an allergic reaction or something?"
The Doctor nodded.
"How exactly?"
The Doctor shot Rose an incredulous look.
"Right. Doesn't matter." Rose looked helplessly as the Doctor struggled more and to breathe. "How do I help you?"
The Doctor pointed to the slippery incline from which they both fell.
They needed to get out. But there was no way they were going to go out the way they came in. Rose thought about the crack where the sickening gush of air had escaped. Maybe that was a way out. She ran over and started tearing vines off the wall. Behind them was a pile of rocks that seemed to be were blocking a larger opening. She removed several of the smaller stones, but there were too many.
"Doctor," Rose said, out of breath. "I don't think I can do this on my own. Not sure what you can do when you can't breathe and all, but if there's any way you can help with a few…"
The Doctor rolled his eyes. Still gasping for breath, he pulled the sonic screwdriver out of his jacket, waved Rose out of the way, and aimed it at the pile of rocks. With bang, the rocks were blasted into smaller pieces, revealing a passageway with stone steps that lead upward. Rose helped steady the Doctor as he climbed the steps, wheezing as he went. By the time they reached the top of the steps Rose did not hear any wheezing or gasping.
"Can you breathe at all?" Rose asked.
The Doctor shook his head. Rose panicked. Though they had reached the top of the steps, she had no idea how to get back to the path. And even if they found it, there was still the spiral staircase they would have to climb before they could leave the caverns and run for the Tardis. She was going to lose him, and there was nothing she could do. Rose blinked back the tears that were in her eyes. She was going to fight till the end.
Rose felt the Doctor squeeze her hand, and she found the strength to look at him. He was smiling tenderly at her.
"It's okay," he mouthed.
"No it's not. You can't survive without air," she said through tears.
The Doctor shrugged and held up his thumb and forefinger to indicate "a little." Then he pointed at an archway ahead. They walked through and ended up back at the location with two openings where the trouble began. There had to be another way out. She looked up in thought and noticed an opening similar to a skylight above them.
"Up there!" she said pointing. "That must be our exit. But how do we get up?"
The Doctor pointed to a fuchsia button on the wall. Rose pushed it and a ladder descended from the ceiling. Rose was thankful that when they grabbed onto it, the ladder pulled them up automatically. Even if the Doctor could survive for a little while without air, she doubted he had the strength for more climbing.
The ladder brought them to the base of the spiral staircase. The Doctor was leaning heavily on Rose now and seemed barely able to stand. He couldn't climb those stairs and she couldn't pull him. But even without the emergency situation, she would not have looked forward to climbing them. In fact, she had a hard time imagining any tourist wanting to go up the stairs, no matter how fun the descent was. There had to be a lift somewhere.
Rose helped the Doctor to sit against one of the walls. "I'm gonna look for a lift," she told him.
Rose searched the walls along the entrance room for a button or a door. There was nothing. She looked up—nothing. Rose walked in a circle around the staircase. It appeared that going up step by step was the only way out. She stomped her feet in frustration. When she did, the grating that surrounded the spiral staircase began to glow. Guardrails rose from the ground around its circumference with enough space to allow people to enter. Then the entire circle that surrounded the stairs rose about a foot.
Rose jumped off and ran to the Doctor. She half dragged him to the unique lift and laid him on the grating. She found a fuchsia button on the guardrail and pressed it. When she did, the disk-like platform rose in the air, supported by telescoping pillars below. By the time they had reached the top, the Doctor was not conscious. Rose crouched behind the Doctor and grabbed him under the arms. Then she dragged him slowly to the Tardis, backing up the entire way.
Rose only paused for breath once she had entered the Tardis. She put a hand on his chest nervously. She could still feel a heartbeat. That was good news. Wait. Did she feel two heartbeats? She hoped that was even better news. What mattered is that by some miracle he was still alive. Rose ran to the medical bay and found a wheelchair. She ran with it back to the console room and, with much struggling, wrestled the Doctor into the chair. Then she pushed him back to the med bay, running the entire way.
"Now what?" she said aloud as she stood in the midst of the med bay. The room must have detected the presence of the Doctor and Rose, because a light from above swept over the Doctor and scanned him. Instantly afterwards, one of the doors of the chemist cupboard opened automatically. A conveyer belt system brought something that looked like a computerized needle to the front of the cupboard shelf. A monitor to the left displayed instructions: "Place auto-jab behind ear and press button."
Rose did as instructed, closing her eyes after she pushed the button. A second later the Doctor gasped for air.
"Doctor!" she cried in relief. "You're okay!"
The Doctors lips curved into a weak smile. "Because of you," he said.
"I know," she teased. "You owe me."
He nodded and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "Thank you," he said.
She returned the squeeze. "Anytime," she said. But the Doctor had fallen asleep.
"You have two hearts," Rose said to the Doctor later in the evening while they were enjoying a meal together.
"Yes," said the Doctor as he took a forkful of shepherd's pie. "Is that okay?"
"Yeah," Rose said. "It's fascinating. And when you stopped breathing, you somehow survived."
"Respiratory bypass," he said. "If something blocks my airway, I can take in oxygen through my skin."
"Sometimes I forget you're not human."
"Thanks," said The Doctor sarcastically, but he wasn't upset. He sat watching Rose for a moment. He was thankful she continued to want to travel with him, as alien as he must seem to her.
Rose pushed the food around her plate distractedly. "What happened to you in that garden pit?"
"The winds that came through contained gasses in the praxis range. I'm allergic."
"But before you stopped breathing you acted…different."
"Before you dropped in—," he started.
"Literally," interjected Rose.
The Doctor snickered at her remark. "Before you dropped in, the winds came through. Smaller amounts of praxis gas affect the neurotransmitters in my brain much like alcohol or drugs would to you." He paused and pondered the implications of that lack of control. The Doctor had little recollection of that portion of the day and he hoped he had not said anything too embarrassing. "What did I do?"
"You kept going on about that room not being on the map," she told him. "You also talked about living there and…well…that's it. Then the gasses came through again and you stopped breathing."
"And you saved the day," he said with appreciation.
"So what was in that jab I gave you?" asked Rose. "Maybe you should keep it with you in case this happens again."
"Celery juice," answered the Doctor. "But that's only for extreme cases. A few bites of celery is enough when I'm still able to eat it." He took another bite of his meal and continued. "Celery leaves turn purple when praxis gas is present, so I would have been warned if I had had some with me."
"Maybe you should carry it with you, then," said Rose
The Doctor couldn't help but smile. "And where would I put the celery? Wear it on my lapel?"
"No, that'd be kind of odd," she said. "It was just a thought. Keeps you safe..."
The thought that Rose worried about his safety warmed his hearts. Every day he was more glad she was in his company. "So has your opinion of April Fool's Day changed?" he asked, remembering the purpose of their excursion.
"No," said Rose with a small laugh. "Parts were wonderful. But seeing as how one of us almost died, I am happy staying away from the day."
"And from caves," added the Doctor. "I've had bad luck with caves before."
Rose acknowledged his comment with a small nod then went back to her pie. There was something personal about sharing a meal with her. He had felt it the first time they ate chips together. They had more time to talk when they weren't running for their lives or distracted by the spectacle of the day. The Doctor realized he wanted more chances to just sit and talk with her. There were so many places he wanted to take her, but they could wait. Tomorrow the Doctor was going to pick the most serene location possible and take Rose Tyler on a picnic.
Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to my daughter, known here as YoungWhovianGirl, who came up with a spectacular name for a planet by misreading "Assort. Pan Dulce" on a breakfast menu. I told her right then that I would eventually use it in a story. The meaning of the planet name was arrived at by looking at the Latin roots the invented name happened to contain.
To live in a fool's paradise is to be happy because you do not know or will not accept how bad a situation really is. (Definition from the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary & Thesaurus)
The bits about praxis gas, celery, and the Doctor's bad luck with caves are a reference to The Caves of Androzani, which is the four-part episode in which the Fifth Doctor regenerates into the Sixth Doctor.
And thanks to Montana for noticing the timing of April Fool's Day. I am glad someone is actually noticing the little details! In 2005, Easter was on the 27th of March, so April Fool's Day (which Rose tried to ignore) would have been a few days later. By the time the Doctor noticed it had been passed they were at April 9th by Rose's system of keeping track of dates.