5. Clint

"Hey," Clint whispers softly with a sad smile as he slowly made way over to the side of the bed.

Steve whispers letting out a breath. "Hey Clint."

Clint takes a seat beside the soldier, the seat Loki was previously occupying, and reaches out to grab his other hand, the one not occupied by Tony. "How you feeling spangles?" Clint questioned his eyes raking over Steve's body for an area that wasn't severely injured.

"Terrible," Steve replies closing his eyes. Clint laughs,

"Well that explains why you look like a mess." Clint joked smiling slightly when it made Steve chuckle lightly. Suddenly, the playful smile on Steve's face turns serious as well as his voice.

Steve squeezes the assassins hand he's holding and looks into Clint's eyes, his eyes full of determination. "Promise me something Clint… please." It was more of a command, but came out more as a hopeful question.

"Yeah, Steve? Anything you want." Clint says trying his best to ignore the stinging in his eyes.

Steve holds his friend's eyes for a while to make sure Clint is paying attention before saying softly, "Promise me that… you'll keep the others safe." 'Of course I will Steve. Ill my hardest to keep Tony, Bruce, 'Tasha, and Thor on track. Not so sure about Loki, though.' Clint thinks instantly his mind going to the wellbeing of his teammates, especially his redheaded partner. "That you wont go off and do something stupid because of me. You'll keep a sane mind." Steve continues and that when Clint hesitates on agreeing with what Steve wants him to promise. 'I cant guarantee that Cap. You honestly cant think I don't blame myself for this. For your death.' " and… please, at least, try to get along with Loki." 'Another guarantee I cant make.' Clint hesitates slightly, his mouth open to agree, but his mind not really wanting to. Clint admits that of course, he'll keep the other safe from doing anything harmful to themselves, but he doesn't promise the same for himself. He blames himself immensely for this. Even if it may not be his fault, he should've been there for his friend. Should've been there to protect Steve from the aliens ganging up on him. 'How could I not notice?! Steve even asked if someone could assist him. And there I was thinking that he'll be okay because he's a super soldier and he'll be fine by himself. How could I be so stupid! Now it's my fa-'

"Promise me?" Clint doesn't respond, he remains silent and turns his head to remove the intense stare Steve was giving him. A disapproving sigh escapes the soldier and he shakes his head trying to push himself up into a sitting position. Tony and Clint immediately object each grabbing a shoulder and trying to get Steve to lay back down. Steve shakes his head and grabs their hands from his shoulder. "I'm fine." He insists giving Tony a look. Tony looks back at him, a disapproving look in his eyes, but eventually he sighs and helps Steve sit up. Steve smiles smugly and turns to Clint, back to the situation at hand. "Clinton Barton," Clint winces at Steve's use of his first name, his entire fire name. "Do you promise me you wont do anything reckless?" Clint bites him bottom lip and remains silent just as he did for the first two times Steve asked. 'Of course I cant promise that! This is my fault! It's all of our faults. We should've done something, we should've-'

"Clint cut that out and talk to me." Steve orders using his Captain America voice. Clint sighs, running a hand through his face.

"What's the point? It wont matter," Clint says bitterly. "Your dying and it's all our faults. Nothing we will say can change what happened. Or save you." Clint looks away, his eyes going towards the window and watching the rain drop from the sky, occasionally hitting the window sill of Steve's hospital room.

"It's not your fault Clint. It's no ones fault… don't blame yourself for this."

"How can I not!?" Clint shouts scaring the other two in room and making them jump. Clint jumps from his seat beside Steve and stares down at his Captain, his eyes showing his sorrow and anger. Tony looks up at Clint shocked, but Steve keeps a neutral expression and says nothing when Clint continues to rant. "Look at you Steve! Look at how hurt you are! How can you stand to look at us knowing that we didn't try to help you? We were too caught up in our own battles we didn't notice you struggling or we didn't come to help you when you asked for help! Your dying and if someone had been there. Whether it would've been me or Natasha or even the Hulk, you would be fine! We'd all be sitting in the Shawarma place eating sandwiches and joking about this little fight. One that wasn't supposed to end like this!" Clint shouts, a tiny tear escaping his eye, the others being held back as best as Clint can hold them. "Steve it is our fault. Don't say it's not because it is. Stop trying to make me feel better because it's not working, it's only making me feel like shit. And I'm sorry, but I cant promise you that I wont do anything stupid and reckless. Stupid and reckless are what I use to help me cope. But I can promise you about protecting the others and getting along with Loki, although that still possesses as a challenge, but I'll do it because it's what you want. Im sorry Cap, but I cant promise about the other thing. It will just be too hard for me to keep…" Clint turns his back and starts heading for the door. Seeing that Clint is about to leave, Steve reaches out for him and calls in the best commanding voice he can muster.

"Clint stop! Wait!" Clint stops walking, but doesn't make a move to turn about to face him. He cant stand the sight of Steve and knowing that him and the others are the cause of it. Steve, seeing that Clint isn't going to turn around anytime soon, sits up straight and looks straight at Clint's back. "I understand how you feel-" Clint scoffs at Steve's statement, but doesn't comment. "I do. My parents… they died before I was twelve. My father died when I was a child, a baby to be exact. I was there when my mother died. I sat right by her bedside and watched as her breathing stopped and her eyes closed. You don't know how much I blamed myself for her death, how much I resented myself for not being able to help her. To save her from her death. I blamed myself so much that I could barely look at myself, couldn't stand the sight of me and my skinny body. I still do believe it was partly myself for her death because she used all the money we had on me and my medical bills when it was clear she needed something to help her. But then I had someone to help me. Someone to knock some sense into me and help me heal from my grief. Someone I love and lost in the war. Someone I also blame myself for his death."

"Bucky." Clint suddenly finds himself without warning. Without turning around Clint can obviously hear the smile in Steve's voice.

"Yep. He helped me to heal, to let go of the past and go on to the future. I know you have your own Bucky. Someone to help you heal. And she happens to be apart of the Intuitive."

"Natasha," Clint whispers softly to himself, but Steve still heard it from where he layed on his bed.

"Exactly. She's your Bucky and she'll help you. I just want to let you know that this is not your fault. Yours or the others. No matter how much you try to blame yourself, don't. Because it wont be worth it. I don't blame your or anyone." Steve takes a moment to reassuringly squeeze Tony's hand and place a kiss on his forehead before continue, "Your my friend and I don't want you to do something stupid because of me. I care about you too much to allow you do that to yourself. You or the others. Please Clint, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew you'd be doing that while I'm gone. Please…" Steve sighs sadly when Clint stays silent, but does turn around to give him the saddest expression he'd ever seen on his friend.

"Steve… I'm so sorry." Clint whispers, his voice thick with tears.

"Don't be…" Steve says shaking his head. "There is nothing to be sorry about. Take care Clint. Or at least try. Try to be okay, let Natasha in. Let her help you and let her be your Bucky. Please because if I see you doing some stupid stuff, when you die I will personally kick your ass when I see you again." Clint's shoulders shake with the silent laugh that passes through his lips. A small smile graces his features and he nods his head.

"I'll try, Cap. I cant promise, but I can say I'll try my hardest."

"Thank you, that's all I ask." Steve says his voice giving away his gratitude. Clint's about to say something when he feels something wet and moist on his cheek. Raising a hand he finds a tear has escape him and now he's finding it harder to keep his emotions in check. Give Steve a once over, trying to remember his features before turning and heading towards the door. Just before leaving the room, Clint looks back at Steve and whispers softly,

"I'll see you soon Cap."

"But not too soon." Steve clarifies with a stern look.

Clint nods, chuckling slightly, "Yes, not too soon." Clint exits the room before he even finishes the sentence, already feeling more tears run down his face. Clint doesn't glance back at the room that holds his Captain, his leader, his friend… As soon as Clint exits the room, he cant help the stream of tears that escape him and the sobs that rake his body. Clint bites his bottom lip and leans his forehead against the hallway wall, his hands held tightly into fists at his side. His shoulders shake more and his face shows the pain that he feels inside. The pain of losing a friend and he cries.

6. Natasha

If Steve weren't in extreme pain he would've noticed her after a couple of seconds since she arrived. Would've easily seen the change of atmosphere and felt a presence in that room that wasn't just his boyfriend. He lives in a tower with a noisy billionaire- same man sitting beside him-, a easily tempered doctor, two Gods and two master assassins. One with perfect aim and one with incredible stealth. He'd learn how to tell when you were alone or if someone else was in the same vicinity as you. He had to learn in order to figure out a way to get privacy in that damn tower.

Steve chuckles and turns his head slowly to face the red headed assassin standing in the doorway, "Not many people who can speak up on me." He says playfully. His statement could more of an understatement. There were plenty of people that could sneak up on him, until he learned how Natasha and the others worked. After that, it was usually hard to scare the Captain. Not that anyone every tried intensionally.

Although the assassin looked anything, but assumed, she offered Steve a smile. "You're losing your touch Captain, I'm disappointed in you, but also slightly smug."

"Why is that Natasha?" Steve asks as Natasha moves to stand in front of his bed, a hand lightly tracing the hospital bed sheets.

"Because I was able to scare Captain America. Thee Captain America. America's golden boy and hope." Natasha replies rolling her eyes as if it were obvious.

Steve chuckles and sighs, "How you doing 'Tasha…" Steve asks, or tried to ask. He meant to say Natasha when speaking, but he ended coughing violently cutting her name short.

Tony leans forward worried, his eyes full of concern, practically hovering over Steve and Natasha rushes to his other side, placing a hand on his back patting softly. Steve waves their concern off as he coughs, trying to clear his airways enough to finish his conversation with Natasha. But Tony doesn't move anywhere and only Natasha leans back from her crouched position by Steve's bed.
It takes a while before Steve's coughing fit dies down a little enough for him to breathe. Tony leans back into his chair, relief evident on his face and he runs a hand down the length of his boyfriend's arm. "It's okay, ssh, breath. It's okay." Tony whispers softly to Steve. Taking a deep breath, Steve's heart rate calms down a bit and lessens his cough until it's entirely gone. The machine that was monitoring Steve's heart rate and blood pressure suddenly dropped drastically in number as Steve calmed down from his little heart attack. Natasha and Tony let out a sigh of relief as Steve gives them a small smile of reassurance.

Steve closes his eyes, presses a hand to chest before letting it drop to his side with a sigh. Looking over at the women beside him, he offers an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Natasha. Where was-"

"Your such an idiot Cap." Natasha cuts him off shaking her head. Steve opens his mouth to say something until what she said sunk into his brain.

"What?" He mumbles confusion written all over his face. Natasha giggles at the sight of her confused Captain and shakes her head, her curls getting in front of her face. Sitting down in the chair Tony motioned to, she leans forward to Steve and gives him a small smile.

"Your an idiot. Your the one lying on the bed suffering yet your apologizing to me. Of all people, me. If anything, I should be apologizing." Natasha pats Steve's cheek softly shaking her head.

"Why?" Steve asks, his voice hoarse and weak from coughing.

"Cap- Steve...ever since I've met you, you've been nothing, but kind to me. You never treated me like anything other than a person-"

"But you are a person-" Steve interjects, his eyes sincere and full of sympathy.

"No, don't talk. Let me finish what I have to say." Natasha says raising an eyebrow at him. Steve nods, ducking his head in shame for interrupting a women when she was speaking. Steve keeps his head bow waiting for Natasha to begin speaking again, but she doesn't. Raising an eyebrow, Steve looks back up to the women in front of him. Seeing the reaction on Steve's face, Natasha silently laughs before continue, "Steve, you know how my life has been. My past, how I came to be Black Widow, how I joined SHIELD, even how I met Coulson and Barton. You know everything about me because I told you." Steve opens his mouth, shuts it just as quickly as he opened it. Instead of speaking, he settles for nodding along to Natasha's words. 'Always the gentleman.' Natasha finds herself thinking to herself. Natasha looks down at her lap before looking back at her Captain. "I told you for a reason Steve… You know how long it takes for me to trust the people around me. How hard it is for me to open up." Steve nods again, not really getting what Natasha is trying to say. To lighten the mood, Natasha rolls her eyes and leans forward more her voice dropping a little. "I'm beginning to trust Agent Hill and I've known her for 7 years. Stark, God I don't even trust him enough to let him know where I'm going most nights." Tony chuckles from beside Steve, but offers no comment to Natasha statement, which she's grateful for. "But...I know if I tell people my past they wont treat me like before. A human being. They'll treat me like a monster because of the things I did when I was young. Things that I'm not proud of and I was forced into doing because my life was on the line. I was threatened, beaten and raped if I refused to do what the Red Room wanted. No one knows that and I don't want them to know that so I keep it to myself. But when people find out about my life they automatically assume that I actually did those things willingly. So...they treat like I really am. A monster." Steve opens his mouth to argue again, but Natasha gives him a stern look making him shut his mouth and gives her his full attention. Natasha nods and continues, her eyes down casted as she recaps the memories. "When Agent Barton was sent to kill me, he thought the same...until we were both thrown into battle. You and Coulson were the only two people to never treat me as a criminal or an animal or a monster. You treated me like a normal person. Like a women. You respected me, or feared me whichever one you want to use, but either way you never let me think I was a monster. Even when you had no reason to trust me, to expect me to protect you in battle, or even be acquaintance with you! You just trusted and I guess... I don't know. I guess I don't know how to tell you how thankful I am for your kindness, loyalty and friendship. Your the first person that ever made me feel like a good person. That I can do good and you make me want to because of your faith in me and I know if I have Captain America's," Natasha takes a moment to poke Steve in the shoulder playfully and softly with a smile. Steve lets out a silent laugh and he allows a smile to grace his features. "Trust and faith, I know I can be good. The person I was meant to be before the Red Room. So..I guess thank you." Natasha takes a deep breath and runs a hand over her face. "Wow, I suck at this emotion thing. How do you guys do it? It's easier to not have feelings."

"Well for most of us who aren't master assassins," Tony butts in sarcastically, a smile playing on his face. "it's a common thing in most people."

Steve gives Tony a playful look before looking back at Natasha and it takes all his energy to reach up and grasp her hand in his. Natasha, seeing his struggle, immediately reaches out and takes Steve have leaning closer to her leader.
Steve squeezes her hands tightly and shakes his head, his voice coming down to a whisper. "Natasha you don't have to thank me." He starts. "I respect people who deserve to be respected. I don't give trust easily and its hard for me to make friends ever since coming out of the ice as well, but I never even thought of you as anything, but an incredible fighter and friend. I have to admit, meeting you, I was very intimidated, but I respected you, just with fear. So it was both, respected and feared. When I heard you and the others wanted me a your leader, I was shocked that you'd actually consider following me. Both of you." Steve says looking between Tony and Natasha. Tony squeezes Steve's hands, placing tiny kisses on his knuckles of the hand he's holding before shrugging. But saying nothing. Natasha just shrugs. "It was then that I took the time to actually learn what I can about you. About all of you. It wouldn't give me much for you Natasha, but it did specify that you didn't have a good childhood and that if I were to know, I'd have to go to you. But from reading your file I never thought of you as a monster. In fact, I grew fascinated of your strength and admired your ability to not let your past get in the way of now. It only made me think of what a wonderful person you are and how I wish I were you. How I wish I were able to do that when I was unfrozen from the ice. Natasha, please never think that you are a monster. Don't allow anyone to tell you otherwise, they're just being assholes. All that matters if what you think of yourself and not what others think of you. Although I must admit that I hope you take what I'm about to tell you into consideration when you think about yourself." Steve raises an eyebrow at the redheaded assassin until she finally gives him a nod. Steve smiles and squeezes her hand in his. "Your amazing Natasha. Your everything a guy could want. Your definitely not a monster or anything other than a human. You remind me very much like Peggy Carter Natasha. Your smart, your brave, your strong and your beautiful. All wrapped up in one. Women like you are one of a kind and please don't let anyone get in the way of your personality. Don't let anyone change you Natasha because the world would lose someone great if you did." Steve finishes his monologue, his eyes full of truth and very sincere in what he said. Natasha was almost certain that Steve was lying and telling her all this just to make her feel better. But upon seeing his eyes and the truth radiating off his body, she call tell… he's telling the truth. Usually can tell when someone lies. They have flaws and she definitely knew how to identify if Steve was lying. He'd start stuttering and he'd wipe his hands on his khakis every once in a while to wipe away the sweat that gathers on them. And right now at the moment, there is no trace of any stuttering and she's holding Steve's hand to know that there the same as when she first touched them. 'He's telling the truth. Steve's telling the truth.'

"Steve-" He holds up a hand cutting Natasha off and shakes his head.

"Don't say anything. Don't say thank you. Don't say that I'm wrong because I know I'm not. And don't say I'm lying because I would never lie to you and you know that." Natasha opens her mouth to say something again, but she stays silent upon realizing that it's getting difficult for Steve to keep his eyes open. And he still has one more person to say goodbye to. Which will be the most painful goodbye ever. Natasha leans down and presses a kiss on Steve's cheek, leaning her forehead against his for moment before pulling away.

"Thank you Steve." Is all she can muster before turning and leaving the soldier and billionaire alone again. The emotions too much for the redheaded assassin to handle. "Never going to forget Steve." She whispers to herself softly, wiping a stray tear before standing up straighter and walking into the waiting room with her head held high. She takes a seat next to Clint and they both share a look before nodding to each other and becoming silent.

Now they all sit and wait for Tony to emerge. To say that Steve is gone. To say that he said his goodbye and most importantly for them to be able to comfort him when he breaks down.