AN: Wow! I just really wanted to say thank you so much for so many views so far! Tripping Over His Own Feet has only been up for less than a full day and already over 200 views! I will be updating this far more frequently until it's done. Thank you kindly for all the views! I look forward to finishing this story for you!
I woke with a start, and for a moment I thought that I had gone blind as well as deaf before I realized that all but a small few of my candles had burned out. With a couple of blinks, my eyes adjusted to the dim light again, as they always had. It was only as I moved to sit up that I realized the damage I had caused my hands, which were swollen to nearly triple their usual size. Even brushing them against the ground- or each other- sent horrific, shooting pains up my arms and into my chest and neck, which were already quite stiff from having slept on the floor.
I had to crawl on my elbows and knees over to where the bench for my organ lay overturned in order to even have a hope of pulling myself to my feet. The pain that shot through my body as I pulled the bench back upright caused my vision to completely white out, and I had to sit perfectly still for a long time before I could see again. I wasn't prepared to have two of my senses fail me.
It wasn't the first time I had been injured, nor the first time I'd exacerbated my injuries after the fact, but I couldn't remember a time that I felt as hopeless. As bad as it hurt, I felt I deserved it. It was my own fault, after all. Pitiful Erik, who only wanted to impress the pretty girl with the voice of an angel.
The sadness in her face… I shook my head, unable to think any more about it. I was only going to work myself up worse and I would hurt myself worse. As much as I felt I deserved it, I couldn't take more pain.
I slowly draped myself across the bench, pushing myself up first to my knees, then to my feet using my elbows and chest. Once I was on my feet, it took an intense amount of effort to straighten my back up. I felt something pop as I finally reached my normal height, and my back felt slightly less sore. I looked back down at my hands, now that I was closer to the candles that still managed to cast flickering, low levels of light.
My hands were definitely broken. I couldn't move my ring or little fingers on my left hand, and only my thumb moved on my right. I would count myself lucky if they healed before I would starve to death from inability to feed myself. The thought of a long, painful death by starvation hit me hard enough that I had to sit down. I had starved before. I knew too well how the body could trick the mind; knew how it was to be too weak to move. There were not many things I wanted less than to die in such a slow agony.
Erik deserves the pain, I told myself, it is my lot in life. Still, even knowing the agony that lay ahead of me, I found my mind wandering back to Christine Daae, she who had such concern in her eyes the night before. She who had nearly touched poor Erik's face. I wanted to see her again, even if it was just from afar. I found myself looking at my boat, honestly considering going back above ground in an attempt to see her again.
I looked back down at my hands. No, I told myself, I can't. I couldn't torture myself further. To see her face would only remind me of that which pained me the most.
The silence was maddening.