7. Tony
Steve leans his head back against his pillow, the one movement causing him extreme pain and exhaust him extremely. The emotion and actions of today taking its toll on him as his eyes close tiredly waiting for a long nap. A nap he knows he wont wake up from. He urges the blackness to come faster as he thinks about the last person he'd have to say goodbye too. Steve had to bite his tongue to keep himself from ordering him to leave immediately. Because this one was going to hurt. The others he could handle, but not him. Not Tony. Tears run down Steve's unwillingly and he presses a hand to his temple to stop the growing headache that threatens t surface, adding to his pain. 'I cant do. I don't want to do it. I don't think I have the strength to say goodbye to Tony and even if I tried, Tony wouldn't let me. I know him well enough that he'll stop me from being able to utter the words goodbye, or I love you. I love him so much and I don't mean to leave him.'
Removing his hand from his face, Steve grounds himself before turning his head to look his soul mate in the face. The look on Tony's face broke his heart into a million pieces. "Tony…" Steve whispers, his eyes roaming his boyfriend's face. Steve looked at Tony before, when he was speaking to the others, but he never really had a good look at him before now. And now… he wish he never did. Tony looked miserable and was the definition of rumpled. Dark rings surrounded his red puffy eyes, his skin sags slightly from his body as if he were a deflated balloon and he's so thin giving him away that it's been days since he's last eaten.
Steve adjusted the bed so he was at least somewhat sitting up. He directs his attention back onto Tony's face, his body and wants to say something, but no words come out. Steve wants to reach out and bring Tony into his arms to offer him comfort, but he knows that Tony wont allow it. Tony would be determined to convince him that he'd live so being comforted wasn't necessary.
None of them said anything for a while until Tony scoffs and shakes his head, running a hand through is already disheveled hair.
"What?" Steve asks, his voice getting weaker and hoarse the longer he speaks and keeps his eyes open.
"This is bullshit." Tony mutters. Steve sighs his displeasure at the statement. "What?" Tony demanded. "You know it's bullshit." His boyfriend, his lover, the man who helped him get use to the future turned to look at Steve. "What am I going to do without you?"
Steve raises a hand from the bed and places a hand to caress his cheek softly and uses his other to grab Tony's hand tightly in his own. "You'll live." Steve whispers softly. "You have the team and Pepper." Steve said cocking his head towards the door leading into the waiting room.
"Yeah," Tony huffed bitterly. "because I functioned so well the last time I lost a part of the team." Steve's mind instantly goes to Agent Coulson and Tony's reaction to his death on the Hellicarrier. How he blamed himself and Coulson for going against Loki alone. The words of what Tony said still lodged in the soldier's head as he thinks back to that day.
"He was an idiot."
"Why for believing?"
"For taking on Loki alone."
"He was doing his job."
"He was out of his league, he should've waited… he should've…"
Steve remember Tony being at lost for words, for the first time he'd seen the billionaire speechless since meeting him. And all he can do is hold Tony's hand tighter to comfort his lover,
"Tony-" Steve whispers, his voice giving him away as he's about to say goodbye. Tony notices before Steve can finish his name and he holds a hand up cutting off Steve.
"No. Don't you do that to me Steve. Don't do that to yourself. I'm not saying goodbye and neither are you. Your gonna live. Your gonna be better soon. Bruce and I will work nonstop to get you better and you know it. You just have to fight. Those goodbyes you got from the others, save it for another day because your not dying on me Steve. Not today. Your not going to leave me just like every single person that has ever been in my life has." Steve wince slightly as Tony rambles on, his eyes hard and the tears barely being held in.
"I don't mean to leave you Tony. Believe me, this is not my choice!" Steve starts, but Tony cuts him off his voice slowly rising. Not in anger, but in sorrow.
"Steve, please. Now is not the time. I'm not saying goodbye, I refused to. You cant leave me. I forbid it. I need you to fight. Fight for us and what we have. Remember what you said before, when we first started dating. When we first said we loved each other. Do you remember what you said? That night on top of Stark Tower." Tony asks, his hands gripping tightly onto Steve's and a tear escaping the strong mask his playing.
Steve closes his eyes to distract himself for a moment and to hide the fact that he's not only suffering, but Tony is and will once he's gone. He does remember what he told Tony, how could he forget? That day has been an important day in their relationship and one that he could never forget because that's the day they'd planned their future. A future that was slowly fading from their fingertips and never to be resurfaced once Steve passes.
Steve reaches up to wipe the lone tears as more cascade down his own face. Sniffing, Steve stares past his lover as the memory of that night takes over his mind; every single detail, every word spoken at that one moment on top of Stark Tower and the touches the two shared after. "How could I forget…" Steve whispers so softly trailing off as the memory over comes him.
Tony's lips place gentle kisses along the length of Steve's neck and outlining his jaw before making his way up to Steve's mouth. Mouth on mouth, Steve deepens it and his hands roam over Tony's body, ending just right below the waist. His fingers linger a little bit too long on Tony's butt before playing with the waistline of his pants and boxers. Tony groans softly, "Steve…" he whispers against the warm skin of his boyfriend in the cool breeze of the night air.
Steve leans down, his lips nearly touching- but not touching at all- Tony's ear as he leans below to kiss just under Tony's earlobe. "What is it Tony?" He asks between tiny kisses making Tony shiver and goosebumps begin to appear. Tony opens his mouth to say something, but only a moan escapes his lips. Steve smiles against Tony's skin and turns his body towards his lover slowly lowering their bodies down onto the ground. Upon laying Tony down, Steve stays half on top of him, half laying beside him, practically hovering over him. He makes no attempt to continue further in their intimate touches as he smiles down at his beloved, wanting to say what's been on his mind for the past couple of weeks. Steve's hand reaches out to caress Tony's chin, the goatee under his hand itching his palm and making him chuckle. Tony's hand reaches up and captures Steve's hand before planting tiny kisses on each knuckle, something Steve seemed to pick up on since dating thee Tony Stark.
"Tony," Steve says resting on his elbows, head in his hands, gazing lovingly down at the man below him. Tony hums softly, moving closer to cuddle against Steve's chest and press his face into Steve's warm skin- his shirt having been removed minutes ago. Steve reaches down to brush Tony's hair out of his face before pressing a lingering kiss onto his forehead. Pulling back with sigh, a big grin spreads across Steve's face. Tony glances up at his boyfriend and cant help, but return the smile.
"What?" He asks, his fingers toying with the collar of Steve's shirt.
"Nothing, it's just that… your so beautiful." Steve says dreamily. Tony guffaws loudly, his hand coming to cover his mouth. "What?" Steve asks, one of his own chuckles escapes his lips as he watches his boyfriend shake with laughter.
"Steve, did you hit your head or something?" Steve shakes his head, confusion written all over his face. Tony smirks before slipping out from underneath Steve and switching their positions. Hovering over Steve, Tony dips down and presses gentle kisses to his face, making sure to give his undivided attention to every feature, especially Steve's lips. Steve moans and tries to push Tony away so he can speak, but Tony keeps going unaware of Steve trying to speak.
"Tony," Steve mutters against his lips. Tony doesn't respond, but does lay off on Steve's lips so his boyfriend can speak. "Tony, I-I…" Steve curses himself for stuttering and letting his anxiety creep into his voice. Tony freezes at the sound of Steve's nervous voice and looks down at him, concern evident in his eyes.
"What is it Steve? What's wrong?" Tony asks sincerely, his eyes full of worry. Steve cant help the butterflies that flutter in his stomach at the sight of the beautiful, concern man on top of him. Tony's concern makes Steve even more nervous and his heart beats so loudly, he's scared that Tony might hear it. "Steve." Tony's voice goes hard, his eyes searching Steve's face for anything that might be wrong so he can help him. So he can help him feel better and get rid of his anxiety and nervousness. Steve looks up at Tony through his eyelashes and shakes his head, biting his bottom lip to keep from quivering.
Steve opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. He opens and closes for what seems like forever with Tony's eyes just watching, waiting patiently for what he has to say. 'Come on Steve. Just say it, how hard can it be. Just tell Tony how you really feel. The worst he can do is say that he doesn't feel the same way back… but that's what I'm scared of. I don't want to get rejected. I want Tony to know how I feel, but I don't want him to tell me that he doesn't feel the same. That's what I'm scared of… Oh be a man and suck it up! Just tell him, goddammit!' Without warning Steve opens his mouth and blurts out the words he's been dying to tell Tony ever since they started dating. The three words that he hopes to get back after his confession, "Tony I love you."
…
"… What?" Tony asks, his brain not being able to process the three words Steve just said. Steve bites his bottom lip and closes his eyes, hoping that he can keep his emotions in check. For a while it's just silence until Steve opens his eyes, stares into Tony's dark beautiful brown. Blue eyes meet brown eyes.
"I love you Tony. I love you so much and I have since the day we met…" Steve waits a little bit hoping that Tony would say something, but seeing him in shock urges Steve to continue. To maybe change Tony's mind if he's going to reject him. "Tony, before you say anything, I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you. If you don't feel the same way, I understand, but I needed you to know that… I love you. I love everything about you. Your voice, your looks, your intelligence, but I fell in love with the most was your personality. Tony Stark, you may be an arrogant, self centered, pain in the ass, but your my arrogant, self centered, pain in the ass. I love you for you and not because of your fame and money. I could care less about what you have. All I care about if what you are. And despite what others have said about you, they don't know the real you. They've just said that because of their jealousy and I don't want you to believe a single word they've said. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"… You really mean that?" Tony asks breathless, as if Steve had knocked the wind out of him.
"Every word." Steve replied. "And… if you feel the same way I was hoping that you um…" Steve bites his bottom lip, his hands starting to get sweaty and clammy as he tries to think of way to tell Tony. Tony hasn't moved from his spot since Steve had first said 'I love you' to him and it's starting to worry Steve. But he's got another to worry about. Getting the next sentence out. 'How do I tell him? It's not something you say every day. Gosh, if only this were easier. Just say it! Say it!'
"Tony I love you and I want you to be my first."
…
Tony blinks and blinks, in utter shock. There is nothing in the world that could make Tony Stark speechless. Nothing. Or so he thought. Sighing, Steve slips out from under Tony and sits up from his position on the ground. Running a hand over his pink, flushed face Steve discreetly wipes the lone tear that escaped from Tony's silence. 'How could I be so stupid? Of course he'd never want to sleep with me! I'm wasted goods and someone no one as perfect as Tony would ever want to sleep with. Or love for that matter.' "I'm sorry," Steve says sniffling before standing up and going to grab his regarded shirt. Just as the shirt makes contact with his hands he's tackled to the ground, someone's hands gripping his sides in a vice tight grip. "What the-" Steve's cut off by something making contact with his mouth. His eyes widen in shock and panic rises in his body for the slightest of seconds until his eyes focus on the figure on top of him. He relaxes immediately when his eyes meet familiar brown, beautiful eyes that stare back at him lovingly.
Closing his eyes, Steve deepens the kiss and his hands wrap around Tony's neck, holding Tony's flush against his as close as possible. "Tony," Steve whispers breathless as soon as Tony pulls back for air.
"Shut up you idiot and kiss me." Tony orders as soon as he gets air back into his lungs. Steve smiles and obeys the order lowering Tony's head back to him. They stay in that position, sharing passionate kisses and intimate touches until Tony starts tugging impatiently at Steve's pants that refuse to go down. Steve's breath hitches in his throat and he opens his mouth, pulling his mouth away slightly to ask,
"Are you sure?"
Tony doesn't respond. Instead he uses the time he's not kissing Steve to undo his belt and start slipping his pants down. Steve, a little apprehensive of doing it with Tony, reaches a shaking hand down to Tony's pants and slowly starts to take them off. But Tony soon grabs the hand trying to undress him making Steve freeze in fear that he might have done something wrong. "Tony I'm sor-" Steve starts, but Tony places a finger in front of his lip shaking his head.
"Don't… apologize, just… p-please, touch me Steve! Don't be scared. It's okay, I want it." With the last three words, Steve had flipped their positions a hint of lust in his eyes as he takes precious care in taking Tony's close off. Soon they were skin to skin, their warmth and scents mingling as they kissed and caressed each other.
Tony's hand snakes it's way down Steve's body as soon as Steve tosses aside his pants.His hand find his lover's cock, and felt the moisture at the tip as he started to stroke it. He was looking into his lover's eyes as he stroked, he saw Steve's desire rising. Steve reached up and grabbed Tony's face and kissed him again, his hips were thrusting into Tony's hand. He didn't let Tony go until he was about to come. He spilled all over Tony's hand as he came, much to Steve's embarrassment. Steve's face flush with embarrassment and he hides behind his hands, biting his bottom lip hard.
"Steve... baby, what's wrong?" Steve shakes his head sadly, refusing to look up at his boyfriend. And that's when Tony puts together the connection of what just happened. "Steve, sweetie, it's okay. That's normal. This is your first time, I don't expect any less or more from you. Your doing wonderful, love. You always do." Tony leans down and presses tiny kisses against Steve's neck and flesh.
While Tony payed attention to Steve's neck, Steve's breathing had slowed after he came and Tony had pulled him to himself and listened to his lover's long slow breaths. After a few moments, he could feel his erection being touched by feather light hands and then enveloped in a warm tight wetness. His eyes snapped open, and he looked down to see Steve gazing up at him with half-lidded eyes and the tip of Tony's cock in his mouth. Oh the sensation he felt at that instant! Tony gasp at the sudden wetness on his cock and he stared opened mouth at the sudden confidence.
"Where did you learn that? Amazing..." breathed Tony, after he had come into Steve's mouth, trying to catch his lost breath.
"We did that in my dreams," Steve admit sheepishly ducking his head after pulling away from Tony's cock, a hand coming to wipe the remaining cum on his face.
"You had sex dreams about me?" Tony asks, an eye brow raised and his usual smirk plastered onto his face. Steve gives a one shrug and smiles sheepishly. Tony leans up and presses a kiss onto Steve's mouth before whispering in his ear, "That's just a fucking turn on."
"I'm glad because I wanted to try it to see if it really would pleasure you...I think I got my answer." smiled Steve.
Tony saw that Steve was still rock hard, and wanted to see Steve come again. Tony loved that he was the reason for Steve's pleasure, in his subconscious and now in real life. He reached down to where Steve's cock was and took it in his hand, started to stroke it slowly.
Steve closed his eyes and bit his lower lip, "Your hands feel so much better than my own." Tony kissed him, before letting go of his lover and sliding down to rest himself between Steve's legs.
A loud, strangled moan escaped Steve's throat when Tony's lip wrapped around his cock. His fingers snaked into Tony's mess of curls and gripped tightly. As the man worked his shaft, his grip only became tighter. It took all of Steve's willpower not to thrust up into his boyfriend's expert mouth and he could feel the climb of an orgasm. Tony smirked below him, feeling the blonde's last restraints begins to fade as hips gave a small twitch, as he tried not to thrust into his mouth. He decided Steve had, had enough torture and sucked on his tip, his lips making an audible 'pop!' sound as Steve's dick left his mouth. Tony pushes himself up and off Steve's body before pressing his naked body tightly against the taller man. The cool windy air gave him goose bumps as arms circled around him and pulled him in impossibly closer. Tongues battled for dominance as the lips met and then Tony was being hoisted off the ground and onto Steve's body.
"Steve," Tony gasp. "What… what are you doing?"
"Something I have thought for a while." Steve replied. He positions himself to enter Tony before two hands grip both his hips, stopping him.
"Wait… S-Steve, your gonna hurt me. G-Give me a… second." Tony, much to both of their dismays, slides off Steve's body and crawls his way towards his jacket. Reaching into his coat pocket, his hands return with a slender tube of lube he stashed. Steve's eyes follow from what's in Tony's hand to his face.
"You knew this was gonna happen?" Steve asks breathless. Tony shakes his head, stumbling back over to Steve.
"Of course n-not, but I hoped." Tony said with hopeful eyes. The image of Tony standing there, naked and holding a bottle of lube made Steve's dick twitch. Before Tony can take another step, Steve reaches out and grabs him by the waist pulling him down to the ground while snatching the lube from his boyfriend's fingers. He pulled off the cap and coated his first two fingers, and allowed them to ghost over Tony's entrance.
Tony cried out as he felt the cold shock of lube against his glory- hole. Steve's fingers ghosted just over and circled around gently. He gripped Steve's hips harder and pushed back trying to get those long digits to slip in. He heard a soft laugh escape his boyfriend as Steve pressed a finger forward, and it slipped inside him. A low, deep moan escaped his throat as Steve began to stretch and massage. His finger gently pressed in and out at a slow pace, hoping that he's not hurting his lover. Steve glances down at Tony's face and notices the pain grimace every time he enters with his fingers. His motions halt and that's when Tony looks up at him, noticing the guilty expression on his face.
"Am I hurting you Tony?" Steve asks nervously, stuttering. Tony looks up at Steve, his eyes full of lust and love. Snaking a hand behind his neck, Tony pulled Steve down into a passionate, lingering kiss.
Speaking against pressed lips, Tony shakes his head. "No… n-no Steve. Your not hurting me… I just… need to get use to it. That's all. Your doing wonderful, love. Keep going, p-please! I need you in me, now!" Tony cried out as Steve suddenly thrust the inexperienced finger in deeper, before he completely removed it and roughly thrusted in two where one had been. A slight burning sensation swept over Tony, but it didn't last long and soon he was begging Steve for more. The two fingers made scissors motions inside him, as he stretched further. In a fluid movement he caught the lustful man's prostate, which caused a deep guttural moan to escape his lips and echo off the empty walls. "Holy shit..! Jesus fuck..! St.. S- STEVE!" Tony cried, as greedy fingers searched for his sweet spot. Steve only smirked and replaced his two fingers with three, making himself assured that Tony was stretched and teased to his satisfaction. As he took the pleasure away, he pressed the tip of cock to Tony's slick and waiting entrance
"Ready?" he asks, as he added more pressure with a small thrust of his hips to Tony's wet hole.
"Steve Rogers, if you don't fuck me right now, I swear-" Tony spat out, his voice strained and high, agonizing for what only Steve could give him, but it was cut off when Steve suddenly thrusted his throbbing shaft into Tony in one fluid motion. Steve moaned deeply as he felt tight heat envelop him. He stopped only for a moment to allow Tony adjust to his size before he quickly pulled out and snapped his hips forward again. Tony squealed in front of him as his knuckles paled to white from his iron grip on Steve's hips and thrusted himself back against Steve. They set a fast, hard pace as Steve fucked Tony roughly. They keep that position for a while before Steve's hands wrap around Tony's thigh and throws both his legs over his shoulders. His strong hands grasp his hips to pull down with ever upward thrust. Tony babbled breathlessly below him, a stream of incoherent words and sounds as he began to fall apart. With Tony tightly around his dick, Steve released a trembling hip, and placed a hand on the cold solid ground to give his plunge more power. He shot his pelvis forward as Tony came down, meeting Tony's sweet spot with a climactic thrust.
"Fuuuck!" Tony wailed as Steve nailed his target. Tony's vision was beginning to blur with every slam to his prostate. His thigh muscles shoot with need that built in the bottom of his belly. The pace began to quicken further as Tony pushed himself down harder onto Steve's hard cock; he wanted as much as he would give. The friction of skin on skin only made him harder. He could feel himself come undone; the tight coil in his stomach almost unbearable until that final impacting strike against his prostate and Steve struck white gold. A loud shout of Steve's name cursed from his lips as he coated the ground in a sticky white film and clamped down hard around the blonde's twitching cock. A few more quick jerks and he heard a deep, euphoric wail. Steve's hot seed filled his being and claimed his prize. He collapsed forward onto Tony, his head being buried in the crock of his lover's neck. Tony's hand comes up to cup the back of his head, as he steadies his rapid breathes. The cool concrete felt good against heated skin as they lay there, chests heaving and hearts thumping loudly in their ears.
"I love you too Steve." Tony finally tells the waiting blonde, wrapping his arms around the taller man's waist.
It's silent for a while as both boys try to steady their rapidly beating hearts and calm their breathing down enough to speak. It takes awhile, while they lay there in each others arms, both content and happy.
The silence is broken soon after, "Steve…" Tony speaks. "Remember when you said that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me." Steve nodded, burying his head in Tony's hair. "Are you sure?"
"The first time you asked that, I was being serious when I said every word." Steve said showering Tony's face and chest with kisses. It's silent for a while, while Steve showers Tony's body in kisses. But soon Tony breaks it again.
"… Tell me what you had in mind." Looking up at the brunette, Steve finds him staring back at him, his eyes full of love. A smile slowly appears on Steve's face and his hand rises to cup Tony's cheek.
"Well… I was thinking, when your ready, that we'd get married. Our ceremony would be simple and small, but the reception big loud and rowdy for you and the rest of the team. The only people we would invite to the wedding would be the team, Fury, Hill, and Rhodey. Pepper would, no doubt, plan the entire thing making sure nothing was left out. Bruce would be the priest. Clint and Thor would be my best men and Rhodey would be yours. Natasha would be the ring barer. So that the team each has a part in the wedding. Our honeymoon, would be romantic and perfect; somewhere calm, somewhere beautiful, somewhere where it's only just you and me." Steve presses a lingering kiss onto Tony's lips before pulling back. "We'd continue our lives as a married, super hero, couple until years later we'd-" Steve's voice is cut off by the Avenger assemble alarm going off.
"Avengers Assemble!" JARVIS's voice rings throughout the entire building, including the rooftop. "Avengers Assemble!"
"Of fucking course!" Tony says exasperated. Steve chuckles and stands up, pulling Tony with him. They both get dressed as quickly as they can and rush into the tower. But before doing so, Steve presses another kiss to Tony's lips,
"We'll finish this conversation later."
"We never finished that conversation." Tony's voice says breaking in through Steve's thoughts. Steve looks over at his boyfriend who seems to be avoiding eye contact.
"Tony…" Steve whispers, his voice getting weaker and barely audible. Tony doesn't look up, barely hearing what Steve just said. "Tony." Steve says louder after clearing his throat. Tony glances up at Steve and leans forward desperately, holding Steve's hand tighter.
"Please, Steve. C-Can you tell me what you had planned? For us. Please tell me or… or I-I'll go insane. I need to hear it from you."
Steve almost breaks at the desperation in Tony's voice. Of course he was gonna tell Tony, nothing would make him happier then try to let Tony pretend. Just for a moments. Pretend that he's going to make it. That's he going to live and they'll live the happy, imaginary life that Steve has planned. "Where did I leave off at?"
"After our Honeymoon."
Steve smiles, "Our honeymoon…" Looking up into Tony's eyes Steve scoots over his bed and makes for Tony to lay down. He gestures for him to lay down beside him, but Tony shakes his head afraid he'll hurt Steve. Steve gestures for him more forcefully before until Tony finally agrees. Slipping in beside his lover, Steve lays his head on Tony's chest closing his eyes in content. "After our honeymoon, I'm going to do everything in my power to try and convince you to let us adopt a kid. You're a stubborn pain in the ass and will fight me against this saying that you'll be the world's most horrible father, when you wont. I know you wont. Our child will love you and when we finally get it, we'll name him Peter. Peter Anthony Rogers- Stark. I really like that name for some reason, Peter. It's not unique, but it's not overly used as well and Anthony after his amazing papa that he'll love so much. Peter will grow up to be an incredible person. He'll have your smarts and looks and definitely personality. Because God forbid, if he turns out to be like you the world is in trouble." Steve says in a joking manner. Tony, despite the situation at hand, chuckles anyway and kisses the top of Steve's head, his arm encircling his boyfriend in a protective manner. But Tony offers no comment on their future son, his boyfriend wants them to have. Steve smiles at this and it urges him to keep going. "Our son, under any circumstances, will not be joining the Avengers. Unless it's his own choice, but I would strongly advise against him going our team and for some reason I envision you urging him to fight against me." Tony's usual arrogant Stark smirk comes across his face nodding his head agreeing. Steve laughs punching Tony in the chest before laying his head back down. "Peter would be baptized. And his godmother would be, of course, Miss. Potts. I wouldn't choose any other person to take that title and his godfather would be either Phil or Rhodey. I would've assigned that title to one of the team members, but Banner would definitely freak out if we assigned him that role saying that he wouldn't trust himself near the baby. Natasha and Clint's job puts them more prone to danger and would probably put Peter in danger as well. And Thor spends most of his time in Asgard, same with Loki.
"Anyway, we live our life as a normal couple. Or at least as normal was we can without as lives as hectic as it is. The Avengers will always be there to help everyone and the team will act as uncles and aunt, in Natasha's case, to Peter. We don't tell Peter about us, and about what we can do. But years later, when it's decided that Peter should know the truth, we tell him. We tell him everything. SHIELD, the Avengers, where we go every time we're called out on a mission, and who we are. Captain America, Iron, Hulk ect… I definitely want Peter to live as normal life he can without the media getting in the way or SHIELD or anyone that could be a threat to him. I want him to be a normal little boy, having friends that are friends because of him, not because of his family. Being about to go to school without being bombarded with questions. Fearing that he'll soon be taken by bad people. Having his share of nightmares so we can calm him down. Not of being kidnapped or of his family dying, but regular little boy nightmares. Like monsters coming to get him at night. When it's time for him to know, we let him and we do everything in our power to protect him from any threat and danger that could come to him.
"Peter grows up and graduations from high school, high honors and gets ready to leave for college. He would get accepted into one of the best colleges in the world. Not because of you and your fame and money, but because he earned his spot there. He'd leave the tower, but would come back and occasionally visit now and then. When Peter leave, of course, it's going to be a little dull in the tower once he's gone, but it will give us time to be alone. Us time to show us how much we love each other, almost like we were having a second honeymoon. I'd love you for days on end and I would show you it everyday, just as you would me. Tony Stark, we would die old together. We watch as our grandchildren played in the living room of the tower and we'd grow old and die together, along with the rest of the team. Our lives wouldn't be for nothing because we'd have each other and we'd love each other til the end. I love you Tony Stark and I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you."
Steve smiles up his lover who seems to be avoiding eye contact as his hand rises to wipe the tears streaming down his face. Tony sniffles and buries his face into Steve's head, taking in the scent of his boyfriend and kissing his forehead softly. Shaking his head, his shoulders shake with sobs and Steve cant help the tears that start running down his own face. 'Now is not a time for imaginary happily ever after, for smiles and laughs. Tony wont pretend, I know him. He'll cry and beg for me to stay with me. He doesn't have time for pretend. I wish I could comfort him, but nothing I'll do will help him feel better. I'm leaving the best thing that has ever happened to me behind and nothing will ever be okay. Tony knows that. I'll just whispering nonsense into his ear, nothing he'll pay any mind too. It's useless…'
"Tony I love you." Steve whispers against Tony's wet, tear stained shirt.
"I love you too Steve… That's why I need you to fight. Fight for us, please, you have too. You cant leave." Tony practically begs and if he weren't laying down beside Steve, he'd probably be beside the bed on his knees, hands clasp together in front of him. A sight that would break Steve completely.
"Tony…" Steve starts, but Tony cuts him off.
"What did I tell you? Don't you dare start saying goodbye to me Steve Rogers. I wont allow it. Those things you were just telling me, your going to live to experience them. Your going to be there when we adopt Peter. In fact, your going to be the first person to hold him. He's going to love you way more than me. Your going to be his daddy and I'm going to be his papa. I'm not going to do this alone and if you leave me Steve, so I wont be able to live with myself. If you live me, I'll practically be dead, I'll be nothing. And everything you just told me will be gone. You'll take our future with you, wherever you go."
"Please, Tony… don't forget everything I just told you. Make them happen, make them a reality. With someone-"
"What?" Tony asks abruptly cutting his boyfriend off, staring down at him with wide eyes and a disbelieving expression.
"You'll need someone else to help you make it happen. You'll need a partner." Steve says, his voice lowering on the last sentence. He flinches when Tony suddenly jumps up from his seat.
"What? No! Are you saying what I think your saying?" Steve doesn't respond, at the moment he seems to take interest in the design of the hospital floor. "Steve are you crazy? NO! I-I cant, I-I cant just forget about you and go on with someone else. I could never d-do that! I love YOU and I only want to be with YOU! No one else." Tony rambles on, tears starting to run down his face and his hands start trembling, as he runs them through his hair. Tony, as if he couldn't stay in that bed any longer, pulls away from Steve and jumps out of the bed. He starts pacing the room, not being to stand still any longer.
Steve bites him bottom lip and closes his eyes tightly before turning his attention to his boyfriend. Reaching and out grabbing both of his hands in one of his own- stopping Tony from his pacing- Steve stares into Tony's moist eyes, a determined look in his eyes.
"Tony Stark, there is no way in hell I'm asking you to forget me. I'm not asking you to forget what we had and just go on with someone else… All I'm asking is you try. You try to find someone to help you grief. You let the others help you and… when your ready go find someone that can make you happy." Tony opens his mouth, a protest on the tip of his tongue, but Steve beats him to it. "Don't you dare say you'll never find love again because you will. You just have to go out and try to find it. I love you Tony and I love you so much that I want you to be happy once I'm gone. I want you find love in someone. Find what we have right now with someone. Please."
"… Steve, I-I don't think I can." Tony says uncertainly, more tears running down his face .
"Yes you can," Steve protest grabbing Tony's face in between both of his hands. "You can do anything T-Tony. Please never forget that. You're a good man and deserve a happy life. Read my lips… I. Love. You. And I know you can move on. You just have to try." Steve says, his eyes starting to close from exhaust. 'No, not yet. I have to… to…' "Tony kiss me… please. I need… one last kiss." Tony's breath hitches in his throat and he's left gasping, his uncontrollable sobs making him hyperventilate. But he does it anyway. He gives Steve his last dying wish.
Leaning down, Tony hesitates before pressing his full lips onto Steve's plush, warn, soft lips. It's a short kiss, but it has so much emotion into it. But mostly… all that Tony and Steve feel at that moment is nothing, but love.
Pulling away, Steve's hand reaches up and caresses Tony's check, using his thumb to wipe off the streaming tears. Giving Tony a small, weak smile Steve looks up at him memorizing his every features before closing his eyes and whispering, "I love you… always."
Tony just stares, no words escaping his lips and only his eyes saying everything and anything that he could possible say to Steve. The tears keep coming, but he makes no attempt to stop them.
He doesn't know how much time has passed; a minute, an hour, a day, but eventually as he just stares at Steve's beautiful sleeping face he hears something that shatters his heart into a million pieces. Something that he's been dreading to hear upon finding out about Steve's soon to be death. Steve's heart monitor goes flat lined and fall and rise of his chest stops.
Doctors and nurses rush in the room at the sound of the monitor, but Tony makes no attempt to move from his spot. When the nurses try to move him from his spot, he lashes out on them. His arm hits on the nurses square in the chest making her fly to the other side of the room and he's just about to land a blow to one of the nurse's stomachs, when a hand catches him mid-punch. Slowly he raises his head to glare at the person who held him back and isn't at all surprised to find Clint staring back at him with a disapproving look. Behind the archer stands the rest of the team in the hallway, having been alerted by the amount of doctors and nurses entering into Steve's room. Tony glares at him, at them all and is about to kick Clint in the face when he's suddenly lifted off the ground by none other than Thor.
"Let me go." Tony says through gritted teeth, his entire body shaking in sadness and anger. "Let me go." He demands more forcefully when Thor doesn't put him down. Again Thor doesn't listen. Tony's carried out of the room, but doesn't fail to hear the three words that nearly killed him.
"Time of death: 2:34 a.m."
Steve Rogers is… dead.