A/N: So I meat to update sooner. Had the chapter on my computer for a while but I needed to touch up on it. So far so good? Anyways, newest chappie is up!

It's already half day and again, nothing out of the 'norm', but it may have just been me lost in thought. Whim would occasionally glance at me with a worried look, but I would shrug it off and pretend I was alright. I tried hard not to think about it but standing around doing nothing did not make it easier. Her words would occasionally float back to my head and the vision replays quicker, more fluid, and vivid than before in a flash.

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to just cast it away.

My head keeps chanting...

I don't want to die...

...I don't want to know.

...But I'm afraid to forget the only memory I have, because I might lose something else important.

I'm confused... what should I do?

"Roze?" I look up and see the Miss.

"Are you okay?"

I nod.

"You don't have to hide your feelings from me, Roze." She blushes and cowers shyly. I look at her puzzled. "Actually, I really do feel fine."

Besides the constant buggy memory hammering at me, I feel completely peachy.

"Well...if you say so," her voice sounds laced with disappointment. "Why don't we take a stroll for a bit? Whim is getting the snacks ready."

I nod and follow along. We stroll down her massive garden and she brings up many childhood memories like me defending her in the forest and coming back completely tattered. All of it feels nostalgic and it eases me. It takes my mind away from a lot of...stressful things.

While listening, I can't help but feel relaxed. I even feel like I'm starting to remember them too.

Our stroll down memory lane has been really calming. I can tell that Miss Lily is trying her best for me and I can't help but smile at her efforts.

"I remember playing near those hydrangeas," she starts off on another memory. "Et doesn't know how to hold back at all. She completely tore apart a hundred square feet of years of tending those flowers. The gardener was so devastated he quit. We had to promise to help him with the plotting, double the salary, more land, and that Et never comes 50 feet within his working space."

"So that's why we had to learn gardening. I thought it was odd of you to take interest since you hate getting anything soiled and sweaty. Well, it was only me and Whim working anyway."

"Is that something you should say to your master? I give the orders and you obey, that's how it has always been-"

She pauses slightly earning confused looks from us both.

"You remember that?" she asks breathlessly.

I nod slightly. "Only the gardening part. I never knew Et tore it apart, but I don't remember Et at all during our childhood anyway."

Is it me or are the Miss' eyes shining?

"Then, what about the time I wan\ted to play house in the garden beside the water fountain?"

I frown. "That's too vague Miss Lily. We played by there many times and each time you wanted to play house, we would start off with the husband-wife concept, but in the end it was Master-Servant-Maid and a bit of pain."

A light cough erupts from her throat, "That you didn't have to remember."

Although she said that, she looks quite pleased.

"Then how about the time we played on the second floor balcony through the library?"

"You read a book... about a princess stuck in a tower. A prince visits her and takes her away from her evil stepmother and the fairytale goes on.

"You got mad because you wanted to be a princess and had Whim create a tiara. You put on one of your best dresses and pretended to be her and I played the prince. Your hair wasn't long enough so we draped down the curtains and I had to climb it from the outside."

"Ah, that was really fun. I remember you climbing up so bravely. Y-you were the perfect prince. It's just like real life...if the curtain represented status and the distance between us, you used all your might to reach the top for me." She looks away abashed, while I stare at her grimly, remembering the story a bit differently.

"It wasn't all that fun for me. The curtain was extremely silky and it was hard to grip. Whim was the one actually holding the curtain and on many occasions she nearly let go."

"R-really?" she looks surprised, "oh, now that you mention it..."

"And by the time I got to the top, I was completely exhausted, but you were so hyped that you knocked me off the rail. The drapes fell along with me so it cushioned my fall. I was lucky to have gotten away with a sprained wrist, twisted ankle, and a light concussion."

"E-eh?! Did that happen?"

I chuckle lightly. "Are we sure I'm the one with amnesia?"

"Don't make fun of me! It's not my fault you didn't get off the rail when you got up there. W-who told you to stay there like an idiot...and I didn't knock into you I was trying to.. h-hu-hu..."

"Trying to what?"

"N-nevermind! Just forget that too!"

"If you say so Miss Lily. Anyway, I think Whim should be done preparing. Let's head back."

"B-but we aren't done?!"

"Hm? Is there anything else Miss Lily?"

"W-well, no...I just though that..."

"If we don't hurry, we'll be late."

"Fine." She says with disappointment.

After a moment, Miss Lily finally speaks.

"Oh, Roze...have you replied to Sir Eugene?"

"Not yet. I'll do it later tonight."

"Don't bother waiting. We'll have tea in your room today so start thinking about what you want to say. I'll tell Whim to move everything over."

"Are you sure Miss Lily?"

"Don't make me repeat myself."

"Alright. I'll see you later."

As I walk away I hear a weird giggle.

"Heehee...Roze's room..."

...Maybe it's my imagination.

The Miss' afternoon tea goes quite smoothly. I was given some time to think about my response. I didn't have much to say except that I will see him soon.

Is it bad if I write only that much?

Whim and Miss Lily also considered different things I should mention. In the end I wrote about my condition and how I was doing. After that, it was just a few lines of nothing and see you soon.

I already asked for permission to visit grandfather and they said yes. They offered to come along, but in the end withdrew that thought saying it was a sentimental matter between my grandfather and I. My departure will be in two weeks time.

Until then, I must cater to my master's every whim.

"It's good to see you feeling better, Miss Lily," says Whim with a smile plastered on her face. "The past few days have been even more painful, but I'm happy that you're back to your usual more pleasant self. Actually you are more pleasant than ever. You haven't even pinched me yet."

"What was that?" inquires Miss Lily haughtily. "You have some nerve to say that to me. Then again, you always say too much. Maybe another lesson will do your head some good?"

"Wahh? N-no Miss Lily, I didn't mean anything bad by it! I-I just thought since you've been in such a good mood, it would be a great chance...to...to...um, share the feeling...and more!"

"Oh? Well, you did just share some of your feelings, I should share mine, next!"

"W-wait, Miss Lil—Ow, ow, ow!"

"Well, I hope you know which feelings you should share and which to keep to yourself. If only Roze would be more honest about his..."

"...I'm sure he already is."

"Did I hear you say something, Whim?"

"N-no, of course not."

"Oh, well I guess it was just my imagination."

"You know...things would be great if they could continue on like this. Everyday, I would wake you up and get you ready. You have very lovely hair, Miss Lily."

"Well, as daughter and heir to the Valendorf, I must pay crucial attention to my image. You know that more than anyone."

"Of course I do. That's why I will always be by your side and make sure that Miss Lily is always looking her best."

"Exactly what I expect from someone contracted to me. Although you are pretty clumsy and talk too much. You also don't have much of an eye for quality and there's also the way you speak-"

"Miss!"

"Oh? Was that too much" Miss Lily chuckles. Whim releases a depressed sigh.

"...But I do agree with what you said..."

"Hm? Which part?"

Whim eyes her lady carefully. She picks up on the notion and eventually loses spirit as well.

"Miss Lily-"

"It's alright," she murmurs. "I'll need you to leave the room for a while."

It suddenly goes quiet. I turn to face them when their hushed voices die away.

It is odd for them to be so silent.

"Don't mind me, I'll be fetching some more snacks."

Whim walks out of the room leaving us behind. The Miss looks extremely grim now.

"What's going on?" I finally ask. She is silent at first, but it looks like she has finally gathered enough courage to speak with me. It must be what Whim mentioned last night.

"Roze, have you heard anything from my father?" she begins with a question. I look at her perplexed. I rarely converse with the master unless the occasion calls for it. So far, the master has yet to address anything of importance, I note.

I respond by shaking my head. When Miss Lily looks down, I can see a shadow of gloom cast around her eyes. She hung her head low to avoid eye contact with me. Whatever is bothering the Miss surely is not a small matter to be taken lightly.

"A few days ago," she starts off. I give her my undivided attention. "Father...brought up issues concerning my future.

"Roze, how old am I?" I almost choke on air when she asks. From the way she turns her head away, I can tell she really doesn't want me to answer that, but I also know that it is a question no one can avoid. It is an answer we all know very well and something I recently remembered. In fact, I just remembered my age, now that I must acknowledge hers.

"...25." I state. My current age is 24, a year younger than Miss Lily. I compare the me now to the me at the age of 17, assuming that I remember correctly.

If it were the me from my adolescence, I would have announced it nonchalantly and without reserve. I believe I was an ignorant child growing up, inconsiderate of the feelings that may arise at the words I spoke. If I recall correctly, I was reserved in the social department, but that reservation was something I lacked when called upon to speak. Blunt and unsocial. It's funny how I'm able to recall this so easily. At the same time it feels like I'm grasping at puzzle pieces, trying to rebuild the full picture, but when I search for the pieces of that one memory, they aren't there. Like they weren't included in the set...or perhaps taken.

"Do you know what it means to be a woman at my age?" I momentarily lose track of our main concern. Seeing Miss Lily so distressed made me feel guilty. I should have paid more attention.

"Women of noble lineage are brought up mannerful, graceful, and proud of their family name. It is our honor to carry it on." The Miss glances at me painfully and I think I finally understand why. "I have been sought after since the marriageable age of 18, but I've turned it all down up to this point. Most women are married off instantly for the sake of preserving their name.

"Father was lenient. He believed that I would choose my own path, partner, and future. He didn't think it would take 7 years, though and now he's worrying."

I look at her with sympathetic eyes knowing how much she valued her rights as a woman. She wasn't the type to sit back and let things sweep her away. She has always been the one to make the decisions and it seems this is one of the hardest she has to make.

"Father wants to arrange a meeting for me with a merchant friend's son. They have connections and assets relating to outside trade and marketing. This...setup, could be beneficial for my family... and... future."

"..."

"...what do you think I should do, Roze?"

If my head isn't pounding, then surely it is my heart. I knew right then and there how important the Miss is to me.

"Are you asking for my opinion?" Is it right for me to say what I think is right?

"...I want to hear from you, who is my closest attendant along with Whim, what you think of this arrangement."

At such a crucial time, I found it hard to take her seriously. I just wasn't use to her being like this.

"And if I answer, what will become of you? Are you looking for my opinion or a reason to escape?"

"I am no coward!" She injects. "My decision has already been made. I only wish to hear what you have to say. What you think matters to me...I have decided that no matter what you say, I won't waver. I know what is best for me and my future. But when I think about words that are never said...I can't move on."

"So you really have decided..." The truth is, my heart hurts for her.

"These past few days have been like a fairytale," she murmurs.

"I know...you loved them very much," I say while recalling the memory on the balcony, how she wanted to be a princess and awaited her prince.

But it's time to stop dreaming, to stop running away from the truth set before us. Even if we try to turn a blind eye, I know that in the back of our mind, it will echo eternally.

"You are not a princess, Miss Lily."

"Mhm. I'm the proud daughter and heir to the Valendorf name."

I think that somewhere inside me I believed I would forever serve the Miss along with Whim as our days continue in leisure, flowing along safely and contently within the comforts of her fairytale like world. These past few days were indeed, a dream. And now it ends.

"I believe that the decision you make is something you have thought hard on and will inevitably lead to your happiness. If it is one that you believe is right, then I too will support it."

"I do believe it is right. It's what my heart says."

"...Then you..." I whisper slightly reluctant.

"I will meet him. I have not decided whether he is potentially suited to be my husband."

"That's good to hear. Your decision is rational."

She smiles at me earnestly. It seems that for now, our talk about the arrangement is done. Yet, her bottom lip quivers rapidly and her breathing becomes short. It's no use holding back anymore. She latches onto me and buries her face into my chest, then breaks into hysteric sobs. The motion is so quick I did not register the spilled tea on my sleeves until a cold minute later.

"I-if only..." she hiccups, "if only y-you loved me, too!"

Tthe pain in my chest cannot compare to hers, but even still it aches having to watch her cry. I put my arms around her gently, trying to ease her.

"...I do love you." I do. I love the memories she gave me, the way she shows affection, I love the life she created for me. I love the people I came to know because of her. "If you ask me for anything, I would give it to you."

If I could only return the favor...

"Don't go saying something you don't mean. That isn't like you, Roze."

She keeps her face buried, but her words are clear. "Your love will never be the love I want it to be."

It is true. I love her enough that she is someone special and irreplaceable. I don't need any memory to tell me how I feel because my feelings for Miss Lily have always been here.

"Is there nothing I can do for you?"

She laughs somewhat pleasant. "It's funny how after so many years, only now you choose to do something out of your own will."

"Well, when you lose a lot of your memories, you come to realize how important the things you still have are." Following her lead, I half joke, trying to lighten the mood.

"It's enough that I have you..." she whispers. "I'm happy having you beside me.

"S-sorry for just crying out like that. I-I...it's so disgraceful of me."

When she finally let go, I felt like I was losing something else important. There's a lash to my heart and I feel like if there are anymore, I would be the one to break.

"Let's go for another stroll," suggests Miss Lily, trying to avert our attention. "Y-you might want to change though. It is uncomfortable to walk around in cold garments."

I give her a quick nod and she leaves the room.

I want to tell her that if she wished it, I would serve her forever, that I could not imagine being anywhere else but by her side. I think to tell her during the stroll. I too, don't want to leave things unsaid.

As I reach into my closet, I pull for another coat. I rummage around until I find a spare, but an odd glint catches my eye. Buried beneath piles of unwashed laundry, I find another coat much like the one in my hands. The only difference in them being one is crisp and unworn, almost new while the other crumpled, soiled and tattered with ware.

I study it, contemplating the reasons for it's carnage and ruin. I wonder when I last wore it and why it was still in my closet. It is so badly battered, that I am surprised it wasn't quickly thrown out. The coat is crusty all over with dirt and dark spots. They are so dry that I could scratch it off, but I don't. I study it a bit longer and search it inside and out. The pockets are empty and the stitches are cleanly sewn.

At first I assumed the tatters were from a rough outing, but when I analyzed it over, there was a major tear in the front. A clean cut along the right clavicle down the left ribcage. I feel the blood in my body run dry almost as if I were bleeding it out. I stare at the cloth once more...evidence that I had been attacked.

Another episode of flashes shudder in my head as I relive the strike to my front.

I quickly pull off my shirt to analyze my chest, but it is unmarked.

Am I imagining things?

I run my fingers through the worn material again feeling for anything that might be out of place. Something about this coat doesn't seem right. It isn't just my gut tell me so. I could literally feel the power of my imagination running down my skin.

My fingers fasten around a tiny round object hidden in between the crevice of the shoulder plates. I yank it out from it's hiding place and study it even closer. It is the glint I saw early. I hold in my hands a small emerald amulet.

As if some mysterious force acted upon it, the emerald began to shine, sending out waves of lucid light.

I look down to my right hand as I feel a jittery sensation enclose my ring finger. Thick rings of aqua blue light encircle it and manifest to form a true ring engraved with symbolic markings I could not read.

The thumping of my heart went on another rage and I feel like another headache making it's way. It races with anticipation and anxiety. A part of me does not want to know what will happen. I should run away while I still can. But I don't. The other side of me tells me to stay put, to let it engulf me. Whether I did or didn't, I would never know which to regret.

It's her again, the girl from that dream. Her figure is cloaked in black and wanes when she is touched by light. The more I try to see her, the more she merges into the dark, so I turn away.

Why can't I see her?

Why is it so dark?

Again, we're in the position from my dream. She cradles me in her arms and cries along the storm.

Her words still come out muffled, but I am trying harder to hear her.

"Don't die!" she screams. I barely make it out as it mixes in with the clap of thunder.

"Roze, Please!" she continues. "I can't do this! I can't let him die!"

"Save him!" she continues to cry.

The pacing of my heart increases tenfold. What the hell is going on?

"Save him? He should not have gotten involved in the first place," the voice of a man fills my ears. It sounds calm, yet slightly insane. "It's too bad. I wanted him to be stronger, but I just don't have the time to be playing around like this."

I feel warm droplets splash against my cheek and I try to look at her once more. I still can't see who she is nor could I see that man.

And once again they begin to fade.

Wait! I try to call out.

Who are you?!

But my voice never gets through.

"If you want...ve ..im. Do you...?" I'm not sure whether it is me or the dream but the voices start to tune out.

Weak, the connection is too weak. Or is it because I'm too weak?

What happened to me that night? Why was I in that mess?

Weak. That single word replays in my head.

"...Forget." The man's voice resounds clearly, vibrating into every cell of my body.

I feel it, another lash to my heart this time stronger than any I felt so far.

Why do I have to forget?

What did I forget?

What happens if I remember?

"...Don't die...-ze." The female hiccups.

And everything starts to disintegrate, little by little.

I don't know what to do.

I don't want to die.

I don't want to forget.

I don't want to remember.

I don't want to get hurt anymore.

There's just too much I can't comprehend.

His voice, her desperation. I can't understand them.

...Stop, just stop...

Leave me alone...!

I don't want to hear any more, I don't want any of this anymore!

But the only words that ever reach the sky are hers.

"...I'm so sorry..."

I wake up to bright lights and the feeling of cold, sleek wood, and the calling of my name like the one in my dreams. It's like living a nightmare, listening to the horror in their voice as they cry out to me.

"Roze!" Lily calls.

"Wake up, please!" Whim cries frantically. "Uh? He's awake? H-he's awake! Mr. Roze!"

"Roze, can you hear me?!" cries Lily. Their face and voice are ridden in panic.

I slowly nod, but it hurts. Did I hit my head?

I thought the blur of sight would adjust after sometime but it doesn't. When I finally sit up, I feel wet trails descend my cheeks.

I want to laugh. I want to forget this nightmare. I want to forget everything that makes no sense.

But I can't escape it.

When I look at Miss Lily and Whim's face, I want to laugh out of hypocrisy.

I crack a wry smile and put them on edge.

"Roze..." Miss Lily croons in an affectionate voice, but I shake my head wanting her to stop.

"I'm so sorry..." I manage to squeeze out, almost mimicking the guilty scene in my dream. I repeat the voice while listening to it in the back of my head. It occupies the rest of my thoughts and drives me down a sketchy pass.

"It's okay," she says as she tries to reach out to me with her hand. I back away.

I think my mind has finally shattered.

"I can't stay here anymore."

It's a good thing I never told her what I wanted to say earlier, about me staying by her side. I would have regretted it because I too have finally decided what I must do from now on. I can only hope she will one day forgive me.

"W-wha...?"

All the memories we have shared until now, the life created for me, the love that she offered, I'm about to throw it all away.

All so I could chase after a voice inside my head.

"Why-?"

I can't give up on the only clue I have.

I can't run away nor can I forget her guilt...

Because...

"...I'm so sorry..."

...it sounded like a goodbye.

"I won't let her to disappear."

End of Chapter

A/N: Yes, more RozexLily for those who like it. Written in my perspective of how their relationship might really turn out, but that might be the end of it. I currently am focused on this story so I will try to update soon. More characters will be introduced soon! Stay tuned! (LOL I sound like a broadcast).