Spoiler Alert: Spoilers for Seasons 2 & 3, up to and including "Silent Night".

A/N: Plan B! And the promised interaction between Danny and Lindsay. Baby steps, at least.

Disclaimer: No infringement of copyright is intended. All characters originated with CSI:NY; all song lyrics are from The Beatles.

It's A Long Journey Home

Chapter 17: Call Me Tonight

If the sun has faded away,

I'll try to make it shine,

There's nothing I won't do

When you need a shoulder to cry on

I hope it will be mine.

Call me tonight, and I'll come to you.

Lindsay walked into her mother's kitchen just as Diane said, "Oh, Stella, here she is now!" and thrust the phone into her hand.

Lindsay put her hand over the receiver and said furiously under her breath, "Mom, I told you I didn't want to … Stella? Yeah, hi! I'm fine, well, okay, anyway." As she made pleasant small talk, she was making threatening gestures and ghastly faces at her mother, none of which were betrayed in her calm voice at all.

For a few minutes, she answered Stella's questions about the Forbes' case. She had just come back from a meeting with Sheriff Olafson and the court-appointed psychiatrist who was examining Forbes to see how authentic his new memories were. She could feel the anger bubbling under the surface; every professional bone in her body was cracking under the strain of her personal involvement with the case. She couldn't sleep, could barely eat, in spite of her mother's constant urging, and there were now weeks to go before they could even get to trial.

And listening to Stella was driving her crazy with homesickness.

"Um, Stella? Was there a reason you called? It's just I have to meet the investigation team in a while and I was going to go over my notes one more time … Stella? Stella?" Lindsay looked up in confusion at her mother, who handed her a cup of coffee and pushed her into a chair before walking out of the room, just as Stella's voice stopped, to be replaced by a new one.

"Hey! Stella says I have to talk to whoever you are for two minutes or I lose a twenty buck bet, so why don't you tell me something about yourself?"

Lindsay felt all the air go out of her body. Her heart rate, which had raced when faced with talking to Stella, slowed to a glacial rhythm, beating about once a century. His voice was light and mocking, but somehow it didn't sound like the Danny who had called her Montana and driven her crazy with his teasing. He sounded … thin? Stretched? She couldn't describe it, but a mental picture of Frodo Baggins at the end of the Lord of the Rings movie flashed into her head.

She wanted to just hang up and pretend this hadn't happened. She hadn't phoned Danny, even though she had promised to, even though she had meant to. Every time she thought about it, something else came up, and she put it off until she had more time, or it wasn't so late, or she wasn't going to meet someone, or … She had left him that one short text message, knowing he would be frantic if she didn't, and then had tried to pretend her part was over.

Apparently, not everyone agreed. If her mother and Stella had got together, she knew they would just keep setting up this scenario until Danny and she talked, so maybe it was better to get it over with.

"Well, I'm 5 feet 3 inches and can take down a grown man with a flying tackle."

She tried for an equally light tone, but she could tell it hadn't worked when she heard his intake of breath. She put her head in her hands.

"Lindsay."

"Hey, Danny."

She could picture him with his glasses pushed up on his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, fiddling with something, anything to keep his hands busy.

"I guess someone thinks we should talk, eh?" Again, she was going for a light tone, but she knew she was failing miserably.

"Stella ambushed me, but I'm pretty sure it was a group effort." A minute of silence, then he went on, "Ya' okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. The case is coming together; it looks like Forbes was partially right. We have all the evidence we need to show that he didn't shoot at least two of the victims."

"My friends," her inner voice cried out in outrage at the professional tone, "Not victims. Mark and Laura. I went to kindergarten with them. I went to their birthday parties. I went on a field trip to Drumheller, Alberta with them to see dinosaur bones when we were 14. We went skinny dipping the summer before they were killed. Not just victims."

Her voice showed no break as she went on out loud, "It looks like the other two were shot by Forbes' gun, so his new plea won't wash."

"Good. That's good." Danny's voice on the phone was diffident as he took a breath and added, "But you? Are you all right?"

Lindsay smiled reassuringly, hoping he would hear it in her voice. "Danny, I'm fine. And about what happened before I left …"

She wasn't sure exactly how to tell him not to worry about it; that she understood it was just something that happened; that she didn't expect it to mean anything to him. She had thought about it a lot, from every possible angle, every night for hours at a time.

He had been upset by her leaving. He had been concussed in the accident. He had thought she was dead. He had heard her sad story about being a victim of a terrible crime. Any one of those things was enough for Danny Messer to have let his ever-volatile emotions overwhelm his common sense.

She was just getting the words she had practiced so often in her head together when she heard him groan.

"God, Lindsay, I am so sorry. I've been sick about it. I didn't mean to hurt you …" His voice gave out while she stared at the phone in shock.

"What are you talking about, Danny?"

"I should never have pushed you. I should have just let you go up by yourself; I knew what might happen. I just never meant to let it get so out of hand."

Shocked, she listened to the torrent of agonized words, streaming out in a hoarse whisper.

"Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Shut up, Danny! Let me think a minute." She had to stop him before he tore her memories of that night to shreds.

Unconsciously, she pushed her sleeves up to rub her wrists where his finger marks had encircled her slim wrists like bracelets. The bruises had faded to practically nothing, but she could still feel the warmth from his hands.

Danny's voice stopped so suddenly she thought that he had hung up.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her head with frustration. "Slow down and back up. Are we talking about the night … before I left for Montana?'

Danny's silence hung heavy between them.

"Danny, I don't know what you are talking about. What I remember was the most incredible night of my life. No one, ever, ever made me feel like that. I didn't even know it was possible to feel like that. So, tell me, what exactly do you remember?"

Her voice was low, as she looked around to make sure her mother was not within earshot, and a little shy and breathless. As she spoke, it all flooded back: the kisses in the hallway that went from punishing to passionate; the sounds she made when he touched her; the sight of her body flushing first with anticipation, then with satiation; the smell of her on his skin. Even over the phone, she could feel the tension break and release in him, and his voice shook slightly when he said slowly, "I remember the most incredible night of my life. I didn't know it was possible to feel like that."

Lindsay wiped away tears she hadn't known were running down her cheeks. She should have called him earlier. "Danny, have you honestly been thinking you … what? Damaged me? Forced me?"

His voice steadied but grew quieter, "Lindsay, I grew up in a world where men took what they wanted. I grew up in a world where a woman shut up or got a fist in the face. I swore I would never do that; never take someone's right to say 'no' away from her. And then I did it to you …"

She interrupted, "Did you hear me say no?"

"I never gave you the chance."

"If I'd said no, would you have stopped?"

Silence for a minute; then the shamefaced admission, "I don't know."

Lindsay growled, "Well, I know. Geez, Danny. You may think you're tough, but if I'd said no and you hadn't stopped, you would still be in hospital while the doctors tried to remove your balls from your throat." She had never been so relieved as when she heard his snort of surprised laughter.

She continued softly, "You'd have stopped, Danny. You may not know it, but I do. I trusted you that night, and I trust you now. You are not the men you grew up with. You are so much more than that."

And just like that, he was absolved.