New Life ch 2

Journal 2: December 3rd 7:11P.M.

Well, I'm here in South Park. When I woke up a few minutes ago, I was freaked out. My mom just dropped me in this room that isn't arranged at all like my room. I was like "where the hell am I?" But I got myself oriented. My room is a lot bigger now. There was barely enough room to walk in my old room. But now, the guys who moved all my stuff in here at to find a way to spread all the shit in my room its so big. I just noticed something. Now that I'm writing on my desk, my handwriting is a lot better. Huh. Well, Mom's making waffles, can't pass those up.

Jake closed his 'man journal' he called it, and went down stairs. Jake was surprised that the people moving all his family's shit were able to decorate it so good. They even put his favorite picture of himself on the coffee table, that was a nice touch. Jake entered the kitchen, and was overwhelmed with the smell of homemade waffles.

"How'd you sleep son?" Austin asked Jake as he sat at the dinner table.

"Like a baby."

"That's good." Jake's mom put the freshly made waffles on the table, and everyone ate.

"So dad, when are you starting your new job here?"

"Monday, why?"

"Really? Monday is only two days away. They should at least give you some time to get used to everything here."

"I know, but we're going to need the money, because we all know a nuke or something will blow up in this town or something equally fucked up."

"Austin!" Jake's mom exclaimed "Don't swear in front of our son."

"Fine. Hey Jake, now that you're done with breakfast, you should go outside, explore a little."

"So, I haven't even left the house once, and already you want me to explore this infamously crazy town? Great parenting skills dad." Jake washed his plate and went back upstairs to change. He grabbed a light blue jacket, and black sweat pants, and kept his white on his white t-shirt. He went downstairs, said goodbye to his parents, and went outside. Jake was hit with a blast of coldness, and boy how he basked in it. He hated the humid, hotness in North Carolina, so this was a pleasant change. He walked on the sidewalk and decided to go left, until something interesting was going on. Right outside of his neighbor's house, a fat kid was yelling at a smaller, blonde-haired kid.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YO WON'T HELP ME?!" The fat kid in a red jacket yelled, pushing the blonde in a turquoise jacket to the ground.

"I-I-I'm sorry Cartman, b-b-b-but I don't want to get grounded helping you a-a-a-again." Jake felt pity for the small child. He had never seen a kid so afraid before, so Jake decided to confront this 'Cartman' asshole.

"Hey!" Jake yelled walking over to him "Is it really necessary to push that kid?"

"Stay out of this new kid. This doesn't involve you." Cartman snapped, turning back to the blonde kid.

"Well now it does. Stop fucking with that kid, or I'll fuck with you."

"Oh, look at high-and-fucking-mighty over here. I'll give you one last chance leave new kid." Jake stood his ground.

"Well Butters, I'm afraid you'll have to witness me beating the shit out of this new kid" Cartman said in a fake disappointed voice. "Well, give me your best shot bra. You can't fucking handle this bra..." Jake had enough of this kid, so he bitch-slapped him square in the face. The kid then started to cry and ran off.

"Pussy!" Jake yelled as the kid ran away. "You okay kid?" Jake asked the small blonde boy, who was apparently called Butters.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Y-you didn't have to do that." Butters said. Jake didn't like the guilty tone of Butters' voice.

"Hey, don't feel guilty. I'm more than glad to bitch-slap anyone who's an asshole." Jake held out his hand and helped Butters up.

"Thanks, um..."

"Jake, my name's Jake."

"Thanks Jake, I'm Butters." The two started to walk, and talk about themselves.

"So, you're from North Carolina?" Butters said in awe.

"Yep, I'm surprised you haven't made any incest jokes, or mock the fact that North Carolina was build on a literal swamp."

"And, your dad was in the Air Force?"

"Yep, trained fighter pilot. Hey, you have a bit of blood on your face."

"Oh hamburgers, now I'm going to get it!"

"Why?"

"Dad said if I come home with any injures he'll ground me." Jake was puzzled by that statement.

"So let me get this straight, you get grounded, even though you're the victim?"

"Yeah, My dad's unfair."

"I'd ought to kick him in the balls for being an asshole like that, no offense."

"None taken."

"Hey, what was that Cartman kids yelling at you about?"

"He wanted me to help him get to Maine, so he could kill Steven King."

"Why the fuck would he do that?"

"The movie 'IT' scared the crap out of him, so he wanted revenge."

"Well it only took me five minutes to find my first fucked up thing about this town."

"Well, you're in for a lot more new kid, I mean Jake."