Disclaimer: I don't own Allegiant... if I did Tris wouldn't have died.

IV ~

It's hard to think that she won't ever open her eyes.

It's hard to believe she won't ever smile again.

It's hard to stand here over her dead body while I'm still alive.

The anger that I've projected towards Caleb these past few days is starting to subside as my grief consumes all my waking hours. The frustration that I get when I see him though, will never fade. After all, he is alive and she is not. Truly Abnegation, she was selfless to the end, but she took herself away from me. The ache is indescribable, and I am as sad as I am mad.

Why did she do this to me? There is nothing left for me to live for and I'd take my life too, but Christina told me that it was the cowardly way out.

I am not a coward.

There is so much that needed to be said between us. I needed to feel her soft hand one more time, clasp her hair between my fingers, to feel her warm lips molding to mine. My chest shakes. I could feel my fingers quaking. I was like a tree swaying in the wind while my roots were slowly unraveling. I was going to fall, and fall hard as soon as reality actually hit me. I have to shut my eyes to block out the horrible emotions drowning me. "Tris." I croak, voice thick with anguish. "Tris, please." I beg. Normally I'd never succumb to this type of behavior. Being stoic was what I did. But when it came to Tris, everything that I had set up about me came crashing down and I was once again just a boy afraid of being hurt. I grab her hand but it is cold and lifeless.

I have a moment's hesitation when I look at her face. She doesn't look at peace. She wanted to live, and David took that away from her. I should be mad at David, I realize, but somehow what Caleb did is worse. Caleb is selfish, and he doesn't think about the repercussions of his actions. At least David was fighting for something he full heartedly believed in. I want that memory serum so badly. I need to end this longing tugging from the inner pulses of my heart. Anything to stop my heart and my head from pounding.

The feeling you get when you lose someone you love is so deteriorating. Every moment their gone from your life a piece of you starts to die as well. Right now I might as well just be a piece of meat. There is nothing but pain behind my eyelids, and I want to sob, I want to cry and break down right here beside her but I am so empty inside all I can conjure up is a sniffle. Without Tris there is nothing left in life for me. She was the person who challenged me, and kept me going. The girl I saw at the end of the day and first thing in the morning. How come as soon as I thought of our future it was taken away from me?

I sink to the chair beside her death bed. I put my head in my hands and stop moving. My heart pounds in my ears and I can feel blood pulsing underneath my eyes—the sign I'm about to cry. My eyes tighten.

I don't know how much time has passed since I fell asleep by Tris's body, but when I awake, I cringe away from her. She's dead, and I can't stand being in the same room as her anymore. I stand up and spare her one more longing glance. "I love you Tris." Then I shut the door behind me.

I'd rather have my memories of her plague me instead of the image of her stiff corpse. "Tobias." Mathew comes up to me.

"Mathew." I greet, nodding my head. Mathew pulls me in for a quick hug and when he leans back I think I see tears. Were he and Tris good friends? The thought makes me jealous.

"Tobias, I'm so sorry to burden you with such news but the remaining leaders of the Bureau have decided on our new government and they would like you to come and arrange something up with them." He starts walking towards the west wing of the compound. Every step I follow him gets heavier.

"What am I arranging?" I ask him.

"I have no clue." He chuckles nervously. I watch his face as his mouth curves upward but his eyes do not light up. His laugh is halfhearted. Is it because of Tris's death? I don't want it to be. I just raise my eyebrows. "Let's go see then shall we?" I nod.

When we get there I am greeted by David. "Who is this young man?" David stage whispers to someone by his right. He knows me… what the actual hell? "Ah, Tobias Eaton. The name sounds familiar." He exclaims after the man tells him who I am.

I look at Cara who stands attentively behind me. "Why doesn't he know who I am?"

Cara blinks her eyes in surprise and then pushes her glasses farther up her nose. "Er," She looks at Mathew who beckons her to continue. She comes to stand next to me and w starts the story in a soft, quiet voice. "I don't know that much more than you do, but before," She has to clear her throat but when she speaks again I can still tell her voice is thick with sadness. "Before Tris went unconscious she pressed the green button which released the memory serum into the room. David doesn't remember he killed her."

"What?" I hiss, snapping my gaze to the man who murdered my girl. "He's still going under trial." I state, and I don't take my eyes off of him. "That bastard is going to pay." I mutter under my breath but loud enough for Cara and Mathew to hear.

Cara sends me a pitying expression. "He's high ranked, Four." She points out. "The worse punishment he'll receive is probably community service."

"Why?!" I sound like a whining child. Tris is, has been my weak spot ever since I can remember, and every time she comes up I get a little bit protective. If her death isn't done justice then I'm going to kill David myself.

"I'm sorry Four." Cara says. My chin trembles but I nod back sadly. The sooner I can leave this place behind, the better. Tris lingers everywhere here, and it's unbearable.

Cara stays by my side when David starts speaking. "Tobias," He starts, "...I want to offer you a spot in the new government we are planning for Chicago." I stay silent and wait for him to explain. "The city will be governed by two representatives from the Bureau and two native from the Experiment. Although we would prefer GPs in charge, we find it only fair that anybody, pure or damaged can be a leader." And there is those two words. Genetically Pure. Which I am not.

I think about it. Do I want to be involved in the mess that is GDs and GPs? Do I want a reminder of the people who killed Tris and so many others just for their own selfish reasons? And the answer is no. No, I don't. "David, as kind as that is." I spit out, not able to control my seething anger any longer. "I'm going to refuse that offer because I am done with this shit. It ruined my life already."

There is silence.

David swallows audibly. "Ehem, okay then." Everybody is still quiet. He looks like he's recalculating. "Cara?" He begins facing her in his wheelchair. "What about you? Based on your high intellect and help during this rough period in time, I think you would also make a fresh, good rep. for governing."

I walk out the room before I can hear her answer.

Second chap from the one and only Four POV. :) Don't be a silent reader...