The first thing I tried, of course, was just straight up talking to Keira, while Scorpius worked with Albus.

"K! Keira! Keira Clare! K! KEIRA ELISE CLARE IF YOU COULD GET OFF YOUR BLOODY PHONE FOR A SEC!"

"What?", Keira groaned, a bit annoyed. She pulled off her headphones.

"Take a walk with me!" I put on a 'charming' smile.

"NOW?"

"Yes, now?"

"Ask Scorp! Or your stupid cousin!"

"I need to talk about the inner workings of a whale's vagina!"

"What?"

"Exactly, now come with me!"

She got off the bench and we decided to walk to our favorite spot (where we totally weren't going to meet Albus and Scorpius) . We were strolling through the forest behind Uncle Harry's house when she asked me, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Who do you think is the hottest guy in seventh year? ", I asked.

"I don't know? Carter Davies?"

"Too tall for you.", I mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Never mind. What turns you on"

"A bit of an arsehole, dark hair, pretty eyes, well-built (a.k.a quidditch player), leather jackets, tattoos- Wait, why do you want to know anyway?"

"I need someone who looks cute with you."

"Why?"

"So we can double date."

"If I don't like the guy, it'd be more like a play-date. He might have cooties or something!"

"What are you, five? Then, we'll find someone close to us. I wouldn't mind you dating one of my relatives." I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.

"I can't! They're all like family. Really cute family." I gagged internally.

"You just said they were cute! So give someone a go! Who do you like? James? Freddie? Louis?"

"Must he be part of the enormous Wotter clan?"

"But of course!"

"Since 99.9 percent of your family is ginger, I shall go for the non red haired ones. Remember, I am doing this for your sake!"

"Okay, okay! Just choose someone!" At that point, I started to get excited. "I'll try and list all of them. 'Kay, so there's Teddy-"

"Engaged."

"Louis-"

"He's 'aight.

"James-"

"Really cute, but too stupid for me."

"Oi! He's hilarious!"

"If you like the idiotic type. That must be why you're dating Scorp."

"Albus-"

"AYE! If you think I'd ever date Albus in a million years, you're sadly mistaken. Sure he's really hot, but his major dickheadedness cancels out all of that!"

"Did you just call me a major dickhead, Clare?"

This is where it all got interesting. And slightly annoying.