A/N: Well, now things get interesting. We have Fruits Basket characters and FFVII characters together at one time, with five rabid FFVII and Fruits Basket fans tagging along, one confused British Naval officer, one undead shapeshifter, and one half-demon with tendencies to sink into angst. Did I mention we have a psychopath running around who works for the midget with a wig, but who really intends to take over all of FanFictiondom and kill everyone he doesn't like (which is most people)? Ah well, such is the life of an Elf.
The first mile and a half of the hike through the dense jungles of Yet-to-be-named-Sylvania was quite enjoyable. The rangers giggled and sang random pirate songs, talked about story plots, and quoted Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children with reckless disregard for the characters present. Cloud winced more than once when Shaedan did a particularly impressive Kadaj imitation. Yuki just about jumped out of his skin when Inwë referred to Shaedan as "Ayame-chan", and Norrington grumbled under his breath when Aki monologued the first half of the Curse of the Black Pearl script. All in all, the characters were relieved when it came time to camp for the night. It wasn't the rest that they appreciated – it was the fact that they could enforce a curfew and a lights-out-no-talking-under-any-circumstances rule after said curfew.
The next morning, Cloud and Vincent woke everyone up at dawn. The rangers were all usually late sleepers and did not appreciate being nudged in the ribs with the pummel of Cloud's sword. Inwë, easily the worst ever morning person, let out such a string of curses when Cloud jabbed her too hard that her friends ceased all communication with her for five whole minutes (the equivalent of a month of solitary confinement, as far as the talkative friends were concerned). Humbled, but in no way forsworn to cussing, the Elf staggered around to grab her things. It felt odd to be once more dressed in street clothes rather than her beloved pirate costume. She and her friends insisted on wearing their cloaks, despite what Vincent muttered about making too much noise in the thick underbrush. That raised the question of why they were walking.
"Why can't we ride horses?" Inwë protested loudly, rubbing her blistered feet before trading her riding boots for sneakers. Cloud was being antisocial and had long since scouted ahead, leaving Vincent, Hatori, and Norrington to manage the pack of unruly youth. At the authoress' question, Hatori gave her a long, slow look.
"Because," he replied, his voice soft but a little condescending, "You lost your powers. If you hadn't lost your powers, you could summon eight well-behaved horses to carry us to our destination."
"If you hadn't lost your powers we wouldn't need horses to carry us to our destination because we wouldn't be out here looking for them," murmured Vincent. He gave the Elf a disapproving look. Bristling, she glared at him. Her friends glanced at each other, sensing an argument. However, Inwë seemed to have lost the power of making up good comebacks; or perhaps she simply couldn't bring herself to insult one of her favorite characters. As aloof as ever, she grabbed her pack and started off on the path, only to pause after a moment to wait expectantly for her friends.
"This could get interesting," Amaya muttered to Shaedan as they followed. Hatori and Norrington sighed deeply.
After only a few minutes, the crew was at it again. Inwë, Aki, and Shaedan were secretly discussing why Tifa wasn't there.
"I like this not, Aki-san. It troubles me that we have heard nothing of her," Inwë admitted darkly. Shaedan shook her head.
"But if Tifa is dead, why isn't Cloud being angsty?" she asked a little loudly. Her friends shushed her and shot cautious look at Vincent. He appeared to have not noticed them.
"I thought Cloud was always angsty," Aki said with a wry smile. Inwë snorted softly.
"I think not. He's just serious and quiet," she replied.
"And has authority issues!" Shaedan added. They fell to arguing over whether Cloud really had authority issues or if he just didn't do so well in the army. After all, a good-guy such as Cloud was bound to do poorly in an evil army like Shin-Ra's had been. Several minutes of this led back to the original conversation.
"We should ask Vincent if Tifa is alive or not!" Aki whispered as the three paused in their talking. Both Inwë and Shaedan paled. Well, paled more. Vincent was a good-guy, but he was a bit intimidating.
"I say Suzume-chan asks him!" Shaedan voted, nudging Inwë towards the undead. Panicking, she shook her head wildly and planted her feet firmly on the ground.
"No way! Amaya can ask him, he's her favorite character!" she protested in as low a voice as she could. It was too late. Vincent paused and turned to watch them all.
"Come on. We have a lot of ground to cover," he muttered. His cold eyes briefly locked on Inwë's. The Elf shivered.
"Hey Vincent, is Tifa still alive?" Inwë asked very quickly. Vincent blinked.
"Why wouldn't she be?" he inquired calmly.
"I dunno, it's just that she isn't here and I expected that since you're all here that Tifa would be too," the authoress stammered, turning a delicate shade of pink. Vincent didn't laugh.
"When Cloud heard Sephiroth was here…well, you know how Cloud is," he answered ambiguously. Shaedan's eyes widened.
"I get it now! He told her to stay behind because he doesn't want her getting hurt!" she exclaimed. Vincent made a noncommittal noise in his throat and kept walking.
"He has a point. Cloud runs through girlfriends too quickly for him to let them get into too much danger. Look what tends to happen to them: one gutted, one beaten to a pulp," the disembodied Voice of Reason suddenly agreed from overhead. The teens' jaws dropped.
"You're horrible!" Aki cried. Inwë was readily contemplating murder.
"How can you talk about Aerith and Tifa like that? You insensitive fiend!" Shaedan snarled, indignant. Amaya had her arms folded and appeared to be sulking out of anger. The adults seemed to be ignoring the Voice, though they were all usually pretty quiet so it was hard to tell. Kyo and Yuki, who had been lingering at the back of the group to try to escape from the crazed fan girls, were scowling at no one in particular.
"What?" the Voice said in a flustered tone, "It's true! Everyone who gets too close to that guy ends up dead or severely injured."
"You'll end up dead or severely injured if you keep talking!" Inwë growled. The Voice scoffed.
"I'm not afraid of you anymore, Elf! Once Sephiroth and Beckett get your powers, which they will, I'm going to apply for a job as an advisor to whomever they decide gets to rule Mordor," it sniffed proudly.
"If you're so sure of our defeat, why are you still hanging around? It's not like you're useful," Amaya commented dryly.
"Because Aerith told me – I mean, ummm…oops." It was too late for the Voice to take it back. The group stopped. Inwë and her friends glanced at each other.
"Aerith? Aerith sent you?" Sakura wondered aloud. Amaya was nodding.
"That explains what Vincent and Cloud and those guys are doing here," she mused. Vincent and Hatori exchanged significant looks. Inwë was wearing a thoughtful expression.
"Ah, so it was she. I didn't think the dark magic could have summoned Cloud here even if it wanted to…but Aerith, she could have. But how did she gain control of my powers?" Inwë added, shooting the sky a look. The Voice was silent.
"Voice? Voice of Reason?" Aki called. There was no answer. The girls whirled and glared suspiciously at Vincent and Hatori. Both the men avoided their combined gazes.
"Well? How did Aerith gain control of my powers?" Inwë snapped. Vincent gave her another of his hollow stares.
"You are not the only one who has powers," he said in a low voice. The Elf snorted loftily. Before she or anyone else could say more, Cloud appeared on the path ahead. The teens glanced at each other, silently agreeing not to mention Aerith or Tifa while Cloud was there.
"Did you find anything?" Hatori asked as the blonde-haired young man joined the group.
"Nothing," he replied, taking a drink from the canteen Norrington handed him, "There's a range of hills about three miles from here, but nothing else unusual."
"If we could get to the top of those hills we could get a good view of the surrounding area," Norrington pointed out helpfully.
"Mmm," Cloud agreed with a slight nod, though he looked a bit uncertain. The teens sighed.
"Stupid mountains. Hey, pretty-boy, I bet I can get to the top before you!" Kyo said suddenly, grinning wickedly at his rival. Yuki sighed and coughed. The fan girls gave each other sidelong glances. Hatori must have noticed because he walked over.
"Yuki-san, Kyo-san, I don't want either of you pushing yourselves too hard. Yuki doesn't need to have another attack, and at that elevation he can't afford to get sick," he said wisely.
"Hatori's right, we don't need any reckless competitions on this climb," Vincent added grimly. Cloud gazed thoughtfully at the hills.
"If we get moving we can reach the base of the hills by dark. Tomorrow we can start climbing," he commented softly. He, Vincent, Hatori, and Norrington proceeded to discuss how best to get to the top, what supplies they needed, and where to get them. When they had finished, they began giving out orders, which annoyed Inwë to no end. Norrington and the others were all good leaders, but the authoress was terribly used to not being told what to do. She hadn't become a pirate on mere whim, after all.
Later that evening, they made camp for the second time and ate their fruit and fish in silence (the potatoes and salted pork were being carefully preserved for the trip into the foothills). Despite the less-than-delicious food, the teenage rangers managed to strike up lively conversations about everything they had seen on the continent. The debate began over what to called the new country.
"I say we call it Galendor!" Aki suggested brightly. The others nodded in approval.
"Aye, except you forgot one thing…we already have a 'Green Land' in the real world. It's too confusing," Shaedan pointed out. Inwë and Amaya sighed.
"Ok, how about Cuivië? Since it seems to be a new country and all?" Sakura asked as she skimmed through Inwë's Elvish notes.
"Who says it needs to be in Elvish? There are so many other languages…like Japanese!" Amaya hinted loudly. The teenagers adopted wistful grins.
"But we're not in Japan. It has to be a name that no other country can say is from their language," Shaedan sighed sadly.
"Then it can't be in Elvish. Rivendell and Lorien are real here. Something else, ok?" Amaya grumbled.
"Well then it can't be in English either! There aren't any other languages that we speak that aren't associated with some country or another, savvy?" Inwë growled argumentatively.
"How about a mix? Japanese, Elvish, and English all in one?" Sakura said. The others laughed. Sakura scowled.
"I was being serious," she muttered. Aki and Inwë fell off of the log they had been sitting on and dissolved into fits of giggles. The adults glowered at them, each silently regretting ever coming within a mile of the insane fan girls. Even Hatori and Cloud, who were both generally tolerant of children (and teenagers) and were used to them, seemed vexed.
"You might want to quiet down, we heard you laughin' about three miles away," commented a voice from overhead. At first the girls thought it was the Voice of Reason, but the tone didn't fit. They looked around wildly. Amaya let out a squeak of alarm and pointed. A young man with spiky red hair that was tied in a ponytail in the back was eyeing them from a tree branch above their heads.
"RENO!" the rangers chorused happily. Reno ignored them and looked pointedly at Cloud.
"Are they as crazy as they look?" he asked Cloud, who nodded. Reno sighed and climbed down from his perch with a dejected air about him.
"You know, I hoped they'd of been killed off by now," he confided, loudly, to the adults. The random teenagers glared at him to the best of their ability.
"Where's Rude?" Cloud asked none too casually. The Turk shrugged nonchalantly.
"Dunno. Said he'd meet up with us in a couple days. I think he's out lookin' for Tifa," he replied. Judging from Cloud's expression, he hadn't known Tifa was in the realm.
"Tifa…you mean…I told her to stay with the kids!" he muttered angrily.
"Ah, you know Tifa. If something's up, she's gotta be in on it," Reno sighed. While the men were thus distracted, Aki, Shaedan, and Inwë took the chance to do a mini victory dance. Finally, all of their favorites were there, minus their beloved Lord of the Rings characters. Things were finally looking up. However, they did manage to forget just how perilous their position was.
A/N: DUM DUM DUM! Muhahaha sorry, I'm having fun with my twisty-plot that's coming up in a while. Kidnap. Swordfights. Peril. GRAVE PERIL! Only proceed if you be men (and women) of valor, for there is danger and plot twists a-plenty. Oh, and I'd like to thank my two readers, Captain MeraSparrow and Authoressinhiding, for sticking with me thus far. You are appreciated. Like I keep saying, this story is just for laughs on my part, and hopefully on yours.