A/N - Thanks again to everyone for sticking with this story. I'm pretty happy with this chapter, so I really hope you guys don't hate me - either way, please review :)
Disclaimer - I own nothing
XOXOXOXO
"B, what's going on?" Serena comes barging into her room and Blair looks up at her from her spot on the bed with wide, slightly scared eyes. Serena freezes at the sight of her friend before rushing across the room to sit next to her. "Are you OK? Is Dan OK?" Serena fires off all of the questions that Blair expected when she had texted her blonde friend but now that Serena's actually here she can't bring herself to actually say the words. "Blair, would you talk to me!"
Blair is silent as she looks at Serena. She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be real. This had to be a nightmare. It had to be. She kept hoping (praying, bargaining with God) that at any moment she would going to wake up and this would end up being a horrible, horrible dream.
"Would you say something! You texted me 911, Blair, and if you don't start talking, I'm going to call Dan!" Her boyfriend's name seems to knock Blair out of the trance she was in and her head shoots up, alarm flashing in her eyes.
"You can not call Dan!" Blair looks almost terrified and Serena's face morphs into worry.
"B…" Serena reaches for her hand and Blair looks at her for a long time before reluctantly climbing off the bed. She can feel Serena's eyes watching her in confusion as she makes her way toward the bathroom and the blonde still has the same confused expression on her face when she returns and holds out her hand. "Blair, what…"
Serena trails off at the sight of the pink stick in Blair's hand and her blue eyes shoot up Blair's face in complete and total shock.
"Yeah, what you're feeling, S, times that by about a thousand and you'll have a vague idea of how I'm feeling." Tears spring to Blair's eyes and she sits back down on the bed, staring at the test in her hand like somehow it was to blame.
"Blair, are you sure?" Serena asks quietly and all Blair can do is nod silently.
"I took three different tests. They were all positive." Blair looks up at her for a second before bursting into tears, throwing the stupid test across the room and burying her face in her hands. How could this have happened? How could she have let this happen? She was always so meticulous when it came to protection… except that one time.
"Shh, It's OK. It's going to be OK." Serena pulls her into a hug and all Blair can do is sob into her shoulder.
"I just don't know how I could be so stupid. How could I have let this happen?" Blair looks up at Serena for a second before her eyes land on the test, laying on the floor across the room. "I don't know how I'm going to tell Dan."
"So, he doesn't know yet." Serena nods understandingly as Blair shakes her head. "It's going to be OK. Dan loves you. He'll understand. Plus, it takes two to tango. It's not like you did this alone."
"I know that, but how can I do this to him? How can I saddle him with a baby when we're not even out of college? I'm not Georgina!" Blair breaks down crying again.
"OK, well, there's a big difference between you and Georgina, Blair. For one, this baby is actually Dan's so that's one thing you've got up on her." Serena pauses for a second and glances down at Blair. "The baby is Dan's, right?" She asks slowly and Blair looks at her in complete disgust. "Sorry, just checking." Serena grimaces and Blair rolls her eyes.
"Yes, the baby is Dan's" Blair throws one more dirty look in her direction before sighing again. It's not like paternity even mattered though. She and Dan couldn't have a baby right now. They were no where close to being ready to have a baby. "I can't do this to him, S. He's been talking about what we're going to do after graduation and where we should go for graduate school. How do I take that away from him? Not to mention the fact that we're always bickering about something. It's a miracle if we can get through a week without fighting."
"Blair, that doesn't mean anything." Serena gives her a soft smile. "You may have disagreements but you two always work it out because you love each other. This baby is going to be a living, breathing expression of that love."
Blair stares at her for a second before reaching over to rest her hand against the blonde's forehead, certain that she must be running a fever. Nothing. Was she high? Had she been smoking up with Nate before she got here?
"Have you lost your mind?" Blair's voice raises an octave and Serena frowns. "A living, breathing expression of that love? This isn't Knocked Up, Serena! Dan and I aren't going to comically fumble our way through this and end up driving off into the sunset with our little bundle of joy!" Blair lets our a frustrated groan as she begins pacing the room. "Let me tell you how this is going to go down, S. Dan will do the right thing when he finds out about this baby. He'll step up and be the man that his father raised him to be. We'll stay together and we'll most likely finish college but that'll be it. That will be where our stories end. He'll end up resenting me and this baby because he never got to fulfil all of the potential that you and I both know that he has and I'll end up resenting him for not being the man that I fell in love with. Basically, we're going to become like every other couple on the Upper East Side - miserable. And I can't let that happen, S. I can't let that happen to me and I can't let that happen to Dan."
"Blair, you don't know that's what's going to happen." Serena stands up to face her. "The two of you love each other. You could make this work." Serena reaches for her hand. "I know that you're scared, I'd be shocked if you weren't, but this isn't like your scare in high school. You're not that girl anymore. You could do this, Blair. You have a huge support system - more than most people have. And you have Dan. You never saw him with Milo, but believe me Dan would make a wonderful father, Blair, and I know that you would be wonderful mother. If anyone can do this, it's the two of you. Look I'm not trying to pressure you or guilt you or anything like that, I just want to make sure that you know you have options. But you know that whatever you decide, I'll support you 100%."
XOXOXOXOXO
Blair takes a breath as she looks out over the pond in Central Park, tossing a piece of bread to the ducks and before she can stop herself she's suddenly imagining her and Dan bringing their little boy or girl here on warm spring days. She finds herself smiling at the images her mind is conjuring up. How is it that she can imagine this so easily? Why was it so easy to picture the little boy with unmanageable dark hair like his father and her sharp tongue or the little girl with Dan's passion for writing but Blair's love of shopping?
No! She shook her head, tossing the rest of the bread quickly and rushing away from the pond. She couldn't be picturing this. She just couldn't. This wasn't apart of the plan. This couldn't be apart of the plan. She refused to let herself and Dan crash and burn the way all young parents did who ended up with children they weren't ready for. She knew what the best option was. She knew what the responsible option was. But if that was the case, why couldn't she stop the ache in her heart whenever she thought about it. Blair's hand moves to rest on her flat stomach. This was her child. This was Dan's child - a child that he still didn't know about. She had to talk to him, she knew that, but it didn't make the reality any less terrifying.
The sound of her phone ringing brings Blair back to reality. Looking down, she hesitates for a second when she sees Dan's name on the screen. She had been avoiding his calls and texts all day, ever since she found out. With a deep breath, Blair slowly lifts the phone to her ear. It was the moment of truth.
"Hey." Her voice comes out a little stilted and she cringes, knowing that Dan is going to pick up on it instantly.
"Hey. You OK?" Dan asks immediately and Blair feels tears fill her eyes again. His first concern was always for her it seemed. "I've been calling you all day…"
"I know, I um… I had my phone on silent and I didn't realize." Blair closes her eyes for a second. She hates lying to him but this certainly isn't a conversation that they can have over the phone. "Hey, are you home? I was actually just about to head over." Blair speaks quickly before she can stop herself and she waits with bated breath, a tiny part of her praying that Dan will say he's busy so she can avoid having this conversation for a few more hours.
"Yeah, of course." Dan says almost instantly and Blair feels a mixture of emotions course through her.
The part of her that wants to keep hiding from him, that wants to avoid doing this for as long as possible, is panicking but the other part of her is almost relieved because right now all she wants to do is run to Dan and let him wrap her up in his arms so her world makes sense again.
"OK. I'll be there soon."
"Blair, is everything OK?" Dan's voice is thick with concern and Blair swallows hard for a second, thankful that he can't see the tears in her eyes.
"Yeah. I'll see you soon. I love you."
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
"Hey." Dan smiles as he holds the door open for Blair a little while later and she gives him a small smile as she steps into the loft.
"Hey." Blair pauses for a second. "I, um, I need to talk to you…" Blair takes a deep breath as she slowly lays her purse down on the counter and turns to look at him. The look on her face tells Dan that something is really, really wrong.
"Blair, what's wrong? Are you OK?" He steps forward, his hand resting on her arm lightly and Blair looks up at him for a long time.
"Dan, I…" Blair blinks back tears as she slowly lowers herself onto a stool and Dan's stomach knots in fear. "I… I think I'm pregnant…" Blair looks away quickly and Dan feels all of the blood in his body rush to his head as he has flashback to Georgina and Milo.
"What?" Dan stares at her in a daze and he sinks onto the stool next to her. "How? I don't... are you sure?"
"I haven't been to a doctor yet but I took three home pregnancy tests and they all came back positive…" Blair clasps her hands in her lap as tears fill her eyes again.
"I don't understand, we were always careful. You were like a Nazi when it came to protection…" Dan trails off as the night of the their anniversary came flooding back to him; his desperation to be with her had been so intense they hadn't even made it to the bedroom. He looks toward the couch for a second before back to Blair and he doesn't even have to ask the question.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Blair murmurs. The sight of her seems to snap out of his shock and his eyes soften as he looks at her for a second before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into arms, holding her to him tightly.
"Shh. Blair, this isn't your fault. We were both there that night and I didn't think about protection either." He whispers into her hair and Blair just nods into his chest. They stay that way for a long time and Dan's mind is racing. Was this actually happening? He slowly pulls away to look at her. "How are you feeling? Are you OK?"
Almost like it has a mind of it's own Dan finds his hand moving to rest on Blair's stomach as he looks up at her. Blair lays her hand over his and the two of them look at each other for a long time.
"I'm scared, Dan." Blair bites her lip nervously and Dan's expression softens. Of course she was scared. She had to be terrified.
"I know." Dan wraps his arms around her again. "But we'll figure this out." He rests her head against hers for a second before kissing her softly. "We'll get through this, I promise." Blair nods silently. "You need to see a doctor. We need to make sure that you're OK."
"Yeah. I know. I already made an appointment for Wednesday." Blair looks up at him slowly. "You'll be there, right?"
"Of course I'll be there." Dan brushes the hair form her face. "I will be by your side the whole time."
"Dan, I..."
"Blair, stop." Dan places two finger son her lips to silence her. "I know what you're going to say and I know that we have a lot to figure out but let's just take this one step at time. Let's get you checked out. Once we know everything for sure, then we'll figure out our next step, OK?"
"OK." Blair nods slowly and Dan lets out a breath before pulling her back into his arms, his mind still racing at the bomb Blair had just dropped.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
"Hello…" The doctor pauses for a moment as she glances at the chart in her hand. "Blair, my name is Dr. Stevens but please feel free to call me Jan." The redheaded doctor smiles at the both of them.
"Blair Waldorf." Blair shakes the doctor's hand, a polite smile on her face - the perfect image of impeccable breeding - but Dan can see her hand shaking slightly.
"And you must be the father?" the doctor turns to Dan with a polite smile.
"Dan Humphrey." He shakes her hand quickly before reaching for Blair's, lacing their fingers together and Blair throws him a thankful smile.
He can feel Blair practically vibrating next to him throughout the visit. The doctor goes through Blair's medical history, what medications she was taking, diet. When she has Blair's life story fully recorded she looks up a smile on her face.
"OK, I think we're ready the physical examination." She makes a few notes on Blair's chart. "I'm going to let you change and I'll be right back." The doctor excuses herself, leaving the two of them alone and Blair glances at Dan when they're alone.
"Are you OK?" She asks, slowly removing her clothes. She eyes the gown with distain before pulling on and Dan can't help but smile a little - always the dictator of taste.
"I'm good." Dan kisses her forehead gently as he helps her up onto the table. "Are you OK?"
"I'm just glad you're here." Blair reaches for his hand, gripping it tightly and Dan kisses her again as the doctor returns, taking Blair's blood pressure and examining her heart, lungs and breasts.
"Everything looks good so far. Now I'm going to examine your cervix." She seems to notice Blair flinch a little and she smiles reassuringly. "There's nothing to be nervous about, Blair. This is all very routine. Examining the cervix will give us a better idea of how far along you are but we are going to give you blood and a urine test just to be sure. Just relax, this will be over before you know it."
"OK." Blair nods, taking a breath and reaching for Dan's hand again as her knees fall apart.
"You're doing great." Dan murmurs into her hair and Blair smiles up at him, grateful that he's here with her because she's not sure that she could have done this alone. After the physical examination, where it was determined that Blair was approximately 5 weeks pregnancy (which made her even more sure that the night of their anniversary was when this baby was conceived) Blair dresses and excuses herself to use the washroom and get her blood drawn. Dan jumps to his feet when she returns to the exam room, his arm immediately wrapping around her shoulder when she reaches his side. They both look up to find the doctor watching the two of them with a small smile on her face.
"OK, I'll be in touch as soon as I have the results of your blood work. In the meantime, Blair, I'm going to give you a prescription for prenatal vitamins. It's very important to your baby's development that you take them. But remember to take them on a full stomach.
"Right, OK." Blair nods, taking the prescription from her hand and glancing down at it before looking up at Dan for a second before looking back at the doctor. "Thank you, Dr. Stevens."
"You're very welcome, Blair." She smiles at the two of them. "Be sure to take care of yourself and I'll see you in about a month for your first ultrasound. Congratulations." Dr. Stevens shook both of their hands once more before Dan and Blair gathered their belongings and made their way out into the busy Manhattan street. They're both quiet on the way back to the penthouse.
"Dan, what are we going to do?" Blair asks when their safely locked away in Blair's bedroom. She sits down on the bed and looks up at him slowly.
"I don't know." Dan makes his way across the room to sit down next to her. "But, I'll support you no matter what decision you make, you know that right?"
"I know." Blair gives him a small smile as she reaches out to brush her hand across his cheek. "But this is your baby too…"
"This is your decision, Blair." Dan reaches for her hand, kissing the back of it gently.
"I love you for saying that." Blair looks up at him with watery eyes. "But this affects you just as much as it does me and whatever we decide, Dan, it has to be what we both want."
"OK." Dan nods slowly and the two of them are quiet for a moment. "Honestly?" He looks down at her and Blair nods. "Alright, honestly, this whole thing scares the crap out of me, Blair. It terrifies me. I'm mean, we're 20 years old. We're still in university." Dan pauses for a second before as he reaches out to brush his hand across her cheek. "I don't know if we're ready for this, but I do know that when I picture my future, when I picture myself having kids, it's with you. I'm in this for the long haul, Blair. So if you decide to have this baby, I will be here every step of the way."
Blair stared up at him for a long moment. He wanted the baby. He wanted her and the baby. They couldn't really do this, could they? They couldn't actually have this baby? She rests her hand on her stomach subconsciously and feels a tug on her heart. This wasn't just any baby though, this was their baby.
"Look, you still have a little bit of time. You don't have to make any decisions right now." Dan's voice is soothing and Blair looks up to find him watching her, his expression a mixture of concern, understanding and pure love.
"I don't need time." Blair's voice is a whisper as she reaches toward him, taking his face in her hands and pulling him toward her. "I want to have your baby, Dan Humphrey." She murmurs against his lips before kissing him softly.