So sorry about the wait guys, for this and The Basketcase. Work and other stuff gets in the way sometimes, but never fear, I love you guys all so much and it is 2.13AM here and I've come straight on here after work and fixed this up because you're all a bunch of beauts. Thank you for being so patient :) and I hope you like the chapter!
Ztofan really is the best. Um...have I mentioned that already?
Alone: Chapter 5
It felt strange, waking up lying next to her. Nick's previous experiences with Jess had always resulted in a hasty departure on her part, leaving him with nothing but the images he had burned into his brain – her teeth, lips, fingers. Everything had been so rushed between them, and as he rolled over and saw her sleeping form next to him, it was quiet and peaceful. He debated skimming a hand over her shoulders, pressing his face into the crook of her neck and making her squirm with delight as she woke, but something stopped him. He didn't want her to wake just yet. She was beautiful, facing away from him, hands tucked neatly under her face as she slept. He felt like disturbing her would shatter this perfect moment.
The sex had been amazing, but that was nothing new. It was as if they were drawing a map of each other, constantly trying to find new places to explore and buttons to push. Nick liked to think of it as respect. They were equals, something that rarely happened in his opinion.
His moment of tranquillity was rudely interrupted when her alarm went off with a shrill ringing sound and her eyes shot open. They groaned in unison, neither of them feeling particularly well-rested after the night they'd had. Nick was not a morning person, and the harsh noise permeating his eardrums wasn't doing anything to brighten his mood. The girl next to him however, made his chest feel lighter as she turned and smiled an apology, one eye shut against the approaching day. "Sorry Nick. I have to go teach fifth graders."
"It's okay," he grinned, swiping at his eyes with his hand, "morning."
"I agree, there's no 'good' about it," Jess shot back, reaching for her glasses and slipping them on. Her dishevelled appearance made him swell with pride, remembering how she had called him hers last night as he pressed her into the bed and buried his face in her hair. "You want a coffee or something? Some toast?"
Nick considered politely refusing her, leaving as soon as he possibly could, but his head seemed to nod without his permission and then he was watching her slip out of bed, loosely buttoned pajama shirt rising to reveal the soft skin above her panties as she scratched her head, yawning. She tossed him his clothes, smiling shyly as he caught them at his chest.
He was in deep shit. Talking to this woman online under some kind of alter-ego and not telling her was starting to make him feel incredibly weird, and borderline creepy, but he had taken it past the point of no return now. He didn't want to stop seeing her, and he knew that would be the case if she found out.
He decided as they shuffled tiredly out of her room that he was going to stop speaking to her online, and then maybe, hopefully he could still salvage something from this, even if it was just friendship with a side order of sex. It could be something they laughed about in a few years' time. He grimaced to himself as they approached the kitchen – who was he kidding? There was no mess-free way of getting out of his predicament. He had made his bed, as they say, and now he was fucking her in it.
"Hey…oh." The beautiful woman from the engagement party was perched on a stool by the kitchen island, flipping languidly through a magazine and blowing on a fresh cup of coffee. She had greeted Jess without looking up, only now noticing Nick behind her. "I didn't realize you had company last night."
Jess turned her head to grin at him again, her face half concealed by the mess of curls she was sporting this morning. "Yeah, sorry Ceec. This is Nick. Nick, Cece."
"Nice to meet you," Nick greeted a little gruffly, offering his hand for her to shake. She eyed him for a moment before taking it in her surprisingly firm grip, and Nick couldn't tell if she was pissed or amused. Women literally confused the hell out of him.
"How do you take your coffee?" Jess asked sweetly as she rolled the sleeves of her robe up to the elbow, picking up the pot. Nick noticed the row of quirky mugs behind the machine, each with unique and crazy designs plastered over them, including a moustache, a googly-eyed Judy Garland and one that simply had the words 'those who cannot do, teach!' stamped over it.
"Just black, thanks." He couldn't help but grin as she handed him a mug with a man coughing next to the letter 'E' on it. Cough-E. Coffee. The image tickled him slightly. This didn't go unnoticed by Jess, whose eyes lit up just a little when she realized he enjoyed her taste in crockery. Damn, those eyes. They could make him do just about anything.
Nick sipped his coffee in relative silence, observing as Jess and her friend Cece conversed happily about her most recent shoot. Cece asked him the occasional question, but Nick was grateful not to be dragged into the conversation. He enjoyed watching Jess in her element, cradling her mug of tea as she leaned over the island, eyes sparkling with the promise of juicy gossip. The way her lips pursed when she disapproved, the way she tilted her head to the side when she was worried, these were all things that Nick noticed and appreciated. He barely got to see this side of her, being so used to her moans and scratches and taste.
"Hey, I gotta go." The words left his mouth as soon as this thought registered in his brain. He nearly winced at the abruptness of the announcement, but he had realized that it was for the best if he left now. Falling for Jess was not on his to-do list, and he knew if he stayed he was in danger of developing the kind of feelings that would seriously confuse his situation with Caroline. That part of his life still wasn't over, and wouldn't be until he got the closure he was currently waiting for. Jess wanted him for the physical benefits, and even if that changed to something more, he couldn't give it to her in his shitty state of mind. He was still broken, the scars his ex-girlfriend left healing slowly and painfully.
And there was JPEPPERWOOD. Nick really didn't know what he was going to do about that.
Jess straightened, looking at him with those piercing eyes. "Okay," she said after a few seconds. "That's cool."
Sweet as she was, Nick knew when he wasn't wanted. Nodding, he placed his mug on the island, heading for the door. He was there for sex. She had specifically asked for sex. He needed to get that through his stupid thick skull.
As he was closing the door behind him he felt her warm hand on his wrist. It sent a jolt of electricity up his arm, surprising him.
"Nick," Jess said a little breathlessly behind him. He turned to the sound of her voice. She seemed to struggle for words for a few seconds, and then closed the space between them, her mouth finding his in that perfect rhythm the two of them had been working on since day one. Immediately his hands found her waist, fingertips digging into her skin through her robe and making her groan into his mouth. He wanted her again already. She had him in the palm of her hand.
She lifted her hands and gently pushed him away, swollen lips leaving his. "Don't be a stranger," she whispered, her fingers clutching at his jacket. "Let's do this again."
"Yeah," he replied hoarsely, his hands sliding up the fabric of her robe to rest on either side of her face. He pulled her in for one last kiss, filled with just as much need as all the others. His brain was doing overtime trying to figure out what he wanted, what she wanted, and it was starting to give him a headache. Maybe he should simply stop thinking about it and enjoy what was happening. That seemed to be one of his biggest flaws – overthinking things, needing answers.
He stepped away, smiling a little as she retreated into her apartment, giving him a small wave. "I'll call you." He managed to say before she shut the door. Breathing heavily through his nose, he ran a hand over his face. He hoped not thinking about it was a good idea.
"Jessica Day, don't you dare try to hide in your room!" Cece shouted, jumping up from her stool and chasing her through the living room as Jess hid her face, desperate to get away. She didn't feel like talking to Cece right now. It was embarrassing.
"I have stuff to do before school!" she shot back, taking a sharp right as Cece overtook her, planning to block the entrance of her bedroom. She ended up behind the couch, staring innocently up at Cece as she rested her hands on her hips. "I have to do some…filing."
"Sit." Cece pointed at the couch. Sighing with defeat, Jess flopped on to it, her best friend joining her. "So you're obviously not seeing this guy. What's going on?"
"What makes you think I'm not seeing him?" Jess asked, acting offended. Cece raised her eyebrows, bringing her fingers up to her face so she could count them off.
"Let's see. Because he left in a hurry, because you're still not over Spencer, because you had sex with him in broad daylight at a party and then never called him, because-"
"Oh alright, I'm not seeing him. No need to get so smart."
"Then what's going on, Jess? This isn't you."
Jess rested her head on the back of the couch, folding her arms. She really didn't know what was going on, but she knew she liked it, whatever it was. "Honestly, Ceec? I think we just have great sex. Like, incredible sex. Last night he did this thing, with the angle, and his fingers as well, and I think I actually floated out of my body."
"Well," Cece said, grimacing. "That was not a necessary piece of information to divulge."
"I know this isn't like me, but like you said I'm not over Spencer, and I so desperately want to be. I think Nick is the answer."
"You see, this is why I think it's a bad idea. You've already put him on a pedestal, Jess. You think he's going to save you."
Jess opened her mouth to disagree, but had nothing to say. Cece always seemed to know her better than herself. Cece took this as a sign to continue. "He's a man, okay? He doesn't know what you want from him, he just knows he wants to screw you. One time, or even twice is fine, but I know you, Jess. You get attached, you develop these expectations. You want sex now, but soon it won't be enough."
Huffing, Jess closed her eyes. What her friend was saying made a hell of a lot of sense. Nick was a good-looking guy, and he was nice. Those two traits combined with phenomenal sexual skills usually made for a pretty lethal concoction when it came to her heart. "But I don't want to give him up," she replied, her voice weak. "He's so good at it, it's like I'm addicted."
Cece chuckled, placing her hand on Jess' shoulder. "Look, honey, I'm not saying you should stop, it's completely your choice. I'm just telling you what I think. Out of curiosity, what makes it so good by the way?"
Jess thought about this for a second. "Well, he knows what he's doing, and he makes me feel like I can be whoever I want and not be embarrassed." She glanced at Cece, who gestured for her to continue. "And…" she thought back to last night, how he had locked her hands above her head and kissed the space behind her ear that felt like heaven. "And he's always so there. Like I'm everything in that moment."
Cece nodded, seemingly satisfied, and that's when Jess realized what her friend had been trying to achieve. She knew Jess would never start sleeping with someone at random, it would have to be something meaningful and emotionally satisfying. That's what Nick gave her. He treated her with care and affection, almost like they were…
"Whatever Cece, that is not why I'm doing this," Jess snapped, fixing her gaze firmly on the floor. "I am an adult woman, and I like sex."
"Hmm," was all the beautiful brunette had to say, before she got up and left Jess to her now extremely tangled thoughts.
"Where have you been, man?" Winston asked as Nick entered 4D, tossing his keys on the table by the door.
"I heard you leave last night," Schmidt added, filling his thermos with the expensive coffee he liked. "Someone clearly had a booty call, am I right?" He and Winston high-fived, proud of themselves, as Nick scowled.
"That Jess girl, she texted me. Asked me to come over."
Schmidt and Winston stared at him. "And..?"
"And I slept with her, obviously. Don't," he started as Schmidt leaned over to high-five him. Schmidt retreated, pouting. "I'm just confused about what's happening. One second we're going at it, and then the next we're having some weird connecting moment, and then she's making me coffee, and then I'm feeling like I'm intruding and I have to leave."
"Ugh, I'm out," Schmidt announced, slapping the kitchen island and heading for the door. "I can't be dealing with your love life this morning Nicholas, I have important meetings. I need to be in a baller mood."
Both men made a face at Schmidt's back, before Winston fixed Nick with one of his I'm here to help looks. "This chick is messing you up, Nick I think you should forget about her. You don't want another Caroline on your hands."
Nick groaned, placing his head in his palms. "I don't understand why I can't sleep with her without my brain muddling all my thoughts up about it. She seems to be able to do it just fine."
"I can't believe I'm saying this," Winston sighed, "but I think you should call Caroline. She's the reason you're this 'chubby, damaged flower' that Schmidt keeps talking about, you need closure."
"That's what I've been thinking."
"It might make you better with your feelings."
Nick considered this. He had thought he had his emotions pretty much in check, being able to go out and sleep with women who meant nothing to him before. Now, it was different. He had slept with Jess three times, and she wanted to keep doing it. He was going to have to rein it in, get some self-control. He was a goddamn man, and he could separate his brain from his penis if he damn well wanted to. "Okay, I'll call Caroline."
He thanked Winston and proceeded to his room, throwing himself heavily on to his bed. He was exhausted, but sleep wouldn't come. Not with thoughts of Jess and Caroline swirling around his head.
He remembered the way he used to feel when he was with Caroline. It started out amazing – they were in love. She met him outside class, jumping on him to smother him with kisses and ask him about his day. He spent the holidays at her parents', fishing with her Dad and lying out under the stars with her at night, listening to her ramble about constellations. They used to talk about how they wished they were each other's firsts. He was happy, and so was she.
But the cracks soon started to show when he went to law school. She stopped calling as much, she clammed up when he asked her about her day. Her voice started to take on a tone he soon recognised as boredom. He started hearing more and more about the guys at her work, the plans she had made for the summers she spent without him. She wasn't interested any more, and despite his ability for complete and unwavering denial, he knew eventually that she would end it. He simply didn't know this back and forth would go on for years afterwards, effectively screwing him up almost beyond repair. He didn't want to be around someone who didn't know what they wanted. Jess knew what she wanted, and that was him. Between her legs, buried in her hair, whispering sweet filth into her ear.
Sighing, he pushed himself off his bed, opening his laptop and seating himself in front of it. Maybe some inspiration for Pepperwood would come today.
His laptop came to life, the bright screen displaying his conversation with Jess from the night before. He was about to close the browser when an idea suddenly struck. He opened his short story, staring at it.
Of course. Nick couldn't write his novel because there had been something missing. He hadn't noticed it before, but now it was blindingly obvious, and Nick knew what it was. Pepperwood needed an assistant. His story needed a heroine.
He quickly opened a Word document, typing with purpose for the first time in weeks. It felt liberating.
"Well Miss Knight, you're the first woman interviewing today who has a beating heart, and I have to say it's good to see a friendly face."
"Likewise, Mr. Pepperwood."
"Please, call me Julius." Julius smiled at the brunette perched on the seat in front of him, legs crossed, lips pursed. She looked tense.
"Well then, Julius, you must call me Jessica. I understand you're looking for an assistant, and if I may be so bold, I think I am the perfect woman for the job. I come from a strong background – my father was a policeman and my mother worked in the hospital for some time caring for the infected."
"I see." Julius leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands. "So you are aware of the risks. Not all zombies can be helped."
Jessica nodded, her face serious. She was rather beautiful in the glowing light from his desk lamp. "Yes. My sister, she…well, we lost her." She swallowed thickly, shaking her head slightly so that her bangs fell into her face. "I can't sit around Julius, while people die. I want to help the infected, I want to help their families." She fixed him with a steely glare. "And most of all, I want to find a cure for this bastard."
Julius regarded her for a long time, taking in the fire in her eyes, the way her chest rose and fell as she breathed heavily, determination written all over her face. "Well, as well as both being very much alive, I believe we have a lot in common. Congratulations, Miss Knight, you start Monday."
Nick leaned back in his desk chair, cracking his knuckles. Finally, he had a story.