Thanks to the lovely Ztofan! :)

I'd also like to say that if anyone watches The Walking Dead, please don't be afraid to PM me about it, because I'M NOT OKAY.

Alone: Chapter 7

Nick could feel Schmidt and Winston's eyes watching him from the far side of the kitchen island as he chomped furiously on his sandwich, burning a hole into the surface of the table with his glare. "You okay man?" Winston asked, sounding almost as if he didn't want to know the answer.

"I knew I shouldn't have called her. I knew it."

"Called who?"

"Caroline. She propositioned me yesterday, told me she wanted me back, again."

Winston shot Schmidt a resigned look. "And what did you say?"

Nick sighed through his nose, picking some crumbs from the surface in front of him. "I can't really remember. I don't think I said much. I didn't say yes."

"Well, that's good," Schmidt said, nodding. "At least that's something."

Nick knew Schmidt absolutely couldn't stand Caroline. He understood – Schmidt had known her as long as Nick had, and she didn't have the hold over him that she did over Nick. He supposed that where he was blind to her flaws, Schmidt most certainly wasn't. He only wished he could see what his friend had tried for so many years to point out.

"I know she's playing me again, I know it," Nick sighed, his appetite now gone. He placed his food on the plate before him and pushed it away, folding his arms over the island in front of him. "But maybe, she might be..."

"No," Winston said firmly, Schmidt opening his mouth to disagree with what they both knew he was going to say. Maybe she might be right this time, maybe she's what I need, maybe she's different. "You know that's bullshit, you were doing fine without her. You've got yourself another chick, someone who blows your mind."

Nick looked up angrily. "I haven't found anyone Winston. Jess and I have an arrangement, we have sex. We're not in a relationship, we're not even seeing each other. I don't believe in soulmates and all that crap, it doesn't exist, you just find someone and make it work, and that's what Caroline wants to do." His throat burned after his outburst, and he realized that he was angry because he was upset, way more upset than he had originally thought. And he knew it had nothing to do with Caroline.

"She's the one who made you so miserable in the first place!" Schmidt cried, flailing one arm to emphasise his point. "You're basically saying you want to use her to heal the scars she made! Do you know how stupid that sounds Nicholas?!" he stopped talking when Winston put his hand out, attempting to calm him down.

"Please, for the sake of all our sanities…" Winston sighed, wiping a hand over his tired eyes. "Don't go back there. You know it isn't what you want."

Nick was silent as they left him alone, retreating to their rooms. He knew it too. Caroline wasn't what he wanted. He wanted Jess, and he was fooling himself if he thought he could convince himself otherwise.

He didn't know exactly how deep his feelings ran, but he knew that their rushed encounters were never enough. He always felt as though he needed one more kiss, one more hushed giggle in the dark as they lay together. She was all he looked forward to, and that worried him.

Jess was perfectly content with the way things were going, and Nick knew that. Messing it up would be incredibly stupid of him. Yet, it was starting to become increasingly obvious that Nick was not happy with the situation any more. Although he felt on some level that he needed her in his life, she wasn't filling the hole in his heart, she was making it bigger. Every time she smiled at him, all bright-eyed and satisfied, a rosy blush tinting her cheeks, he felt it rip open a little more, because she would never be his. She was so very quiet sometimes when they were together that Nick thought there might be someone else in her life.

He groaned, laying his forehead on his folded arms. A small part of him wished that he had never met her in that bar, that he had received her message online and they had started talking and maybe eventually arranged to meet up. Nick knew that in those circumstances he might have been able to convince her that being with him was a good idea. Now his chance was long gone, and she was thinking about someone else while he tried vehemently to think of anyone but her.

Nick glanced at the clock - it was after six, the late sunlight streaming in through the loft windows reminding him that his Sunday was nearly at an end. Today was his first full day off work, and he was wasting it moping around. He needed to make a decision.

Jess jumped when someone knocked loudly, spilling flour down the front of her apron. Tutting, she headed for the door, brushing her bangs out of her face and unintentionally wiping a trail of white across her forehead and nose. She rubbed at it with the back of her hand as she swung the door open to reveal Nick, panting slightly and clutching his car keys.

"Nick!" she gasped, surprised. She suddenly became painfully aware of her floury face, and willed herself not to blush. "What are you doing here?" When he didn't reply, she smirked, realization hitting her. "You haven't come to ravage me, have you? Because I'm in the middle of baking a cake and I take it pretty seriously."

"No, I haven't," he replied, and she couldn't help but feel her heart sink a little. Some countertop action had sprung to mind as soon as she had seen him. "Jess, I need to talk to you."

Frowning, Jess opened the door wider. "You wanna come in then?"

He cast his eyes downwards. "I don't think I should."

"What's this about? You look sad."

"I…" he sighed, dipping his head. "I'll come in."

He brushed past her, entering the apartment. Jess followed him, chewing on her lip and wondering what was so important that he had to surprise her at her place. Whatever it was, she was sure she wasn't going to like it, based on the difficulty Nick was having forming words.

She approached him, laying a hand on his back. He visibly relaxed at her touch, turning to face her as she smiled comfortingly. "Seriously, what is it? Just tell me."

"I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry," he said, his voice flat. It took Jess a few seconds to grasp what he was saying.

She drew back, confused. "What?"

"This isn't working for me. Our arrangement, it…I'm looking for something else." Nick's voice cracked on the last syllable, and he appeared to be finding it hard to continue.

She felt her stomach drop, and all she could think was no. The word sounded over and over in her head, drowning out whatever else he was saying. She shook her head. "Wait…"

He stopped, staring at her. "I thought," Jess said, looking anywhere but at him, "we were having a good time, weren't we?" She felt herself slipping, and fought to remain calm and collected. Getting upset over a man saying he no longer wanted to sleep with her was a silly thing to do. Nick didn't belong to her. It was unfair of her to treat him like he did.

He ran a hand frustratedly through his hair. "I've met someone," he replied, and she almost flinched. The pain that spiked in her belly upon hearing him say he wanted someone else instead made her a little nauseous, and she breathed deeply, trying not to let it show on her face. "She wants to see me again, and I've been thinking about it and I think I should do it."

"Oh," Jess said, fighting the urge to cry so hard that it was giving her a headache. "That's great, good for you." He had met someone. He wasn't alone anymore. They no longer had that in common. "Well, I might have someone too."

Nick laughed then, but it didn't sound like he thought it was very funny. In fact, this whole conversation seemed wrong, the way Nick was looking at her like he wanted her to stop him. She wanted to, more than anything she wanted him to change his mind, but he was waiting for her to say something and she didn't know what it was. Their eyes locked, and his smile was empty. "I suspected you had."

Jess didn't know what to say to that, because she wasn't exactly telling the truth. She was pining after an online romance that perhaps never even existed in the first place. She wouldn't say that counted, and certainly not in the way Nick's new girlfriend did. She swallowed thickly, nodding her head. "So, I guess you just came to tell me that, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess."

The silence stretched on, until he cleared his throat and started towards the door, eyes trained on the floor. "I should leave you alone," he said, his back turned to her.

Jess felt like something was off, their parting feeling so incomplete. She watched him go, finding the courage to speak only when his hand rested on the handle. "Nick, wait a second."

He immediately turned to her, eyes betraying a curious emotion Jess couldn't place. "This girl…"

"Yeah?" he asked, and she could swear she detected a hopeful twinge in the word.

She felt her mouth get ahead of her brain, the softness in his eyes loosening her lips. She shrugged. "She wouldn't know if we messed around one more time, would she?" Her heart rate picked up as she tried to gouge his reaction. He remained motionless, staring at her. "I mean, she's not your girlfriend yet."

Nick breathed in deeply through his nose, and Jess immediately felt stupid. She was throwing herself at him even as he was on his way out of her life. Talk about desperate.

"I suppose not," he eventually said, and Jess breathed a sigh of relief. He shut the door again, crossing the room and standing in front of her. It was apparent neither of them was sure if this was a good idea, but that had never stopped them before. "One last time?" he asked, the corner of his mouth lifting upward slightly.

"For old time's sake," she said, and smiled, although her chest still felt heavy. As selfish as it was, she didn't want it to be the last time.

Nick leaned down and pressed his lips softly to hers, and Jess felt the familiar warmth spread through her body as she placed her hands on his chest, feeling the way his heart hammered against it. His arms wrapped around her, fingers splayed over her back as she was pulled against him, trapped in his embrace. She slid her arms around his neck, opening her mouth and granting him access as his tongue moved languidly against hers, their hot breaths mingling – Heisler and cake frosting. Her senses seemed heightened with the knowledge that she had to savor everything this time.

Jess clutched at the back of his shirt, waiting for the passion to overtake them, for Nick to start pushing harder until her back hit the wall, for that tingle to spread downwards until she was moaning with impatience and begging him to take her to bed.

But it didn't come. One of his hands slid up her back and came to rest at the nape of her neck, rough fingertips softly caressing the skin there as he kissed her slowly and deliberately, enveloping her. Jess felt her breath catch in her throat at the feel of his fingers stroking her bare skin, his mouth refusing to leave hers even as she started to breathe more heavily at the realization that this wasn't like all the other times.

Something stirred deep inside of her, and she finally pulled away to look up at him, feeling tears prick her eyes. He held her gaze, seemingly trying to figure her out as much as she was him. Why did he kiss her like that?

She stepped back, taking his hand and leading him to her room, neither of them speaking a word. Once inside, Jess closed the door quietly and turned to see Nick seated on the end of her bed, still looking at her. She felt like she should say something, but the moment didn't call for words, and she didn't want to ruin it. Instead, she joined him, unfastening the apron and letting it fall to the carpet before climbing on to his lap and placing her hands either side of his face, pulling him in to resume their kiss. It was unhurried, their touches gentle, but there was a burning need bubbling just under the surface that Jess knew had nothing to do with sex.

Her heart was doing overtime as Nick reached up and covered one of her hands with his own, interlacing their fingers and squeezing softly. The simple gesture had her short of breath, squeezing back. She had never felt so emotional before, and she realized as he laid her back on the bed, lying beside her, that this was special. Cece was right, after all.

"Nick…" she whispered as they faced each other, noses touching. He reached out and rubbed a thumb over the flour on her forehead, pushing the hair out of her eyes as he did so. She closed her eyes to his touch. I don't want tonight to end, she thought, but remained quiet.

"I don't want to mess around," he said, and she saw in his eyes that he meant it. She didn't know what to think or how to feel in that moment, too muddled to come to any conclusions, but thinking had always been overrated around him anyway. So she kissed him instead, wriggling into his arms, relishing in how comfortable it was. She had never taken the time to notice. His palms rubbed her back soothingly as she found a place in his neck that she fitted into. This is dangerous, the voice in the back of her head cried out. She ignored it.

Eventually she turned over, Nick's arm snaking around her waist and his hand coming to rest on her stomach. He drew her tightly into him, breathing evenly on the back of her neck as he started to fall asleep. It was only when she had grown accustomed to his arms around her that her thought process returned, and she knew then that Nick had feelings for her.

Jess felt a tear slip out of her left eye, catching on the pillow. How stupid of her, to realize how much this man meant to her on their last night together, when it could already be too late. The strain of keeping the tears at bay was making her eyelids heavy, and with the feel of Nick's chest pressed warmly against her back, she let them drift closed.

She woke when she felt him stir behind her, pressing a kiss to the place where her neck met her shoulder. Opening her eyes, she saw that the time was 11:35 – they had fallen asleep for a couple of hours. Jess felt exhausted, her moment of clarity about her relationship with Nick seemingly draining her. He had come over to end things, so that he could move on with someone else. Now here they were, wrapped up in each other after falling asleep fully clothed on her bed, sex the farthest thing from both of their minds.

Nick's mouth was moving upwards, towards the spot behind her ear, and she started to turn towards him, her state of half-consciousness heightening every delicious feel of his lips. She captured his mouth with her own, desire sparking within her as his hand slid down her body and over her pajama bottoms, cupping her there and applying pressure until she mewled into his mouth. She wanted to shout at him. What are you doing? This isn't fair, you have someone else. Stop fucking with my head. But she just let him do what he wanted, her resolve crumbling when he lifted the material of her shirt and trailed kisses down her stomach.

She thought their dirty and wild sex had been amazing, but it didn't even come close to this. Her whole body was humming in anticipation as Nick pulled her pants and underwear from her legs, intent on the task in front of him. He glanced up at her and they stared at each other for a tense few seconds, before he lowered his head and pressed his tongue firmly against the bundle of nerves there.

Jess cried out, her back arching against her will as Nick gripped her thighs, licking and sucking. She threw her forearm over her face, pressing it against her mouth to silence herself. He took his time, drawing the pleasure out excruciatingly slowly until Jess' legs were trembling with the effort of holding it together. When she came, moaning breathlessly, he continued to stroke her with his tongue until she had completely come down from her high. No one had ever made her feel that good, ever.

She found the strength to sit up and take his shirt in her hands, pulling it over his head, before unfastening his jeans and helping him shimmy out of them. As he removed his boxers she unbuttoned her pajama top and shrugged it off, reaching for the condom in her nightstand.

He watched her intently as she rolled it slowly down his length, gripping him, and she felt his eyes boring into her, unsaid feelings clouding the space between them. If Jess couldn't voice how she felt, she would show him.

She lay back as he climbed between her legs, placing the tip of his shaft at her entrance. She nodded, biting her lip, and he slid gently inside her, resting his elbows either side of her head and placing one hand on her face. His thumb grazed her cheekbone and she leaned into it, refusing to break his gaze as he started to move, finding a rhythm.

For the first time since they had met, neither of them said a word. Jess didn't bite or scratch her nails down his back. She wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him bury his head in her shoulder and sigh against her skin as she massaged his scalp with her fingers. It didn't feel like they needed to say anything.

Jess could feel Nick's hands gliding over her hips, waist, breasts. He wanted to know every curve of her body. Her moans were quick and breathy as he continued to thrust, brushing a kiss over her temple and dipping down to her lips. Her whimpers of satisfaction were lost in his mouth, Nick's moans joining hers as they both approached release. Jess gripped a handful of his hair, tugging lightly at it as she felt herself teetering at the edge. She choked out a cry as he pushed deep inside her, his hips grinding into hers at just the right angle, and she was gone.

He picked up the pace when he felt her tighten around him, reaching for her clammy hands with his own, the sounds she was making pulling him with her. He breathed hard against her skin as he came, sweaty forehead pressed against hers, their fingers intertwined above Jess' head.

And then it was over, Nick laying his head on her chest, panting. He let go of her, rolling over to dispose of the condom as Jess lay still, staring up at the ceiling, at a complete loss for words. There was no way he could go back to that woman, not after what had just happened. The night they had just spent together had been almost ethereal. Jess wondered if perhaps she was dreaming.

Nick looked at her, and she smiled at him, gesturing for him to join her under her sheets. He returned the smile, moving to let her cover his body with them, stretching his arm over the pillow so she could lay her head on his chest. Jess cuddled into him, smelling cologne and sweat and herself on him. She breathed it in, slipping an arm over him and closing her eyes.

When she woke up in the morning, the shrill blare of her alarm reminding her that it was a dreaded Monday, Nick was gone.