Disclaimer:

I do not own any material from Card Captor Sakura and the lyrics of Yoru no Uta.

The song 'Got It, Lost It' is owned by Big Scary.

Summary:

Sakura was separated for years from her family, that it nearly makes her lose hope to reunite with her loved ones. But like everyone believes: miracle happens. Even though there will always be something obstructs on the way or at the end.

EDGE OF DESIRE

Chapter 8 - Got It, Lost It

Think you caught it, think you got it, think you lost what you had, will never get back to you. - Big Scary

Syaoran absent-mindedly chewed his Chinese breakfast of congee. That one word never left his mind even in his dream. "Sa-ku-ra. Sakura."

He chuckled, smiling widely, taking in the feeling of how it sounded when her name escaped from his mouth. Sakura. He suddenly remembered something. He already could have guessed that 'Sakura' would suit her before. How had it been so coincidentally?

He exhaled and rose up, giving thanks to the head chef for breakfast. He already slid inside his Bugatti, when he heard his beloved cousin shouting at him.

"Syaoran!" Meiling panted, stepping inside his car. Her voice rose in panic. "My car would not start. Can i borrow yours for today only? Please!" She pleaded.

He rolled his eyes but said, "Alright. But we go to my university first."

"Let's go then." She grinned, buckling herself up. "Hey, how is it going with your song?"

He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, "Just need a final touch. Why?"

"Can i listen to it or read the lyrics?"

"No." He said quickly.

"Why?" She whined, pouting at him. But he did not answer her that easily. She smiled discreetly. It was not her intent to know more. Her instinct never went wrong. She just wanted to confirm that there was someone her cousin liked.

"Alright, make sure that you pick me up again here at five. Got it?" Syaoran pulled over when they arrived at Tomoeda University.

"Yes, boss." Meiling got off to move to the driver seat. "And don't get yourself beaten up again." She said as he grinned back and walked inside the university. She shook her head.

When she started to drive off, her eyes caught a figure whose her cousin ran to. They seemed to talk a little and then her cousin reached for the girl's hand as they continued to walk.

Meiling then smiled widely as she noticed that she recognized the girl.

"You're getting expert." Syaoran said as they finished another session of waltz tutorial. They occupied the music room once again as people rarely came there unless for practicing.

Sakura shook her head and blushed, "My spun is not that smooth. But i no longer stomp your feet." She laughed.

"That is why it's a huge progress." He grinned as she scowled at him.

"Anyway, there is something i would like to ask." She asked, but averting her gaze as she did. She took a deep breath before blurting, "Do you have free time in the night of valentine's day? My co workers set up some kind of small ball and they said everybody has to come with a partner. It's so silly, i know. But Chiharu is a little strong-headed about that, so it's impossible to ignore."

Syaoran was startled to listen to her gibberish, but did not stop her. Instead he let and stared at her, amazed.

"And i know that you are Tomoyo Kinomoto's fiancée. I know that i am such a wicked girl to do this. I am wrong, but i still want to ask you." She continued and swallowed.

He nodded his head, feigning a considering look. "Hmm. It's a little hard." He said as he was trying to tease her.

She exhaled. "I know. I'm sorry for asking. That is really rude of me." She succumbed and turned away from him, but he quickly caught her hand.

He grinned, "I was just kidding. Of course, i'll come with you."

She smiled and whispered, "Thank you."

Tomoyo sat in the medical staff lounge, waiting for Eriol to spare some of his precious time. Her mind had been a complete wreck and she was doing what she always did whenever she was in that kind of state: seeing her best friend. He was her harbor, her sanctuary whenever she was insecure...

She shook her head in disbelief, "What are you thinking, Tomoyo? He is your best friend. Throw away those stupid thoughts." She grunted to herself.

But she sighed hopelessly. If she contemplated again, she never thought about Syaoran that way. She never felt safe around him, instead she was always covered by that feeling: afraid of losing him. She huffed and massaged her temple gently. This had gone far from her expectation.

Eriol showed up after half an hour of her waiting. Not like his usual tired expression, he seemed so happy and pleased. Is he really that content to meet me? She thought, but she quickly put it away from her mind. "Hey, Eriol." She greeted, hugging him.

"Sorry for making you wait, Tomoyo." He said as he sat down in front of her.

She got him a cup of macchiato, his favorite. She sighed, remembering that she did not even know how Syaoran liked his coffee.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked, noticing her profile.

She looked up at his bright sapphire orbs. "We will engage this April, Eriol. Please tell me what to do." She said defeatedly.

He stared at her intently. She already told everything to Eriol; about how Touya had known that Syaoran liked someone else and then her brother had decided to confront him and laid his fist on Syaoran's face. Even though she was sure that nobody had told their parents yet about this. "You have been a man of answers all this time. Please help me." She whispered as a drop of tear escaping her eyes.

But Eriol did not answer her. Instead he held her hands in his. His hand softly wiped her cheeks.

"I don't know either, Tomoyo."

"Saki-chan."

"Saki-chan!"

Sakura blinked, confused. Naoko was looking at her from behind her round glasses. "I've been talking to you like ages."

"I'm sorry, what did you say, Naoko?" Sakura asked apologetically.

"What were you thinking? You seem to have lots in mind." asked Naoko suspiciously. "You know if you need help, you can always turn to us, right?"

Sakura smiled and nodded, "I know. Thank you very much, Naoko. But there is nothing so urgent." She lied. "So, what is it that you want to tell me?"

"Oh, i just want to deliver Chiharu's message that you can't forget to bring your couple to the party." Naoko said. "Chiharu is such a fuss. Honestly, i don't really care to ask someone."

Sakura chuckled. She knew that Naoko was the type of bookworm, who preferred to spend her spare time with books. Naoko ever said to them that boys would never be her top priority before she could reach her dream to be a scientist.

Sakura smiled and sighed lightly. How nice it was to have something to reach for. she thought.

"So, you are really going to go with Li Syaoran?"

Sakura jerked slightly, turning her head to the left. The mysterious lady was staring at her, arm propped up on the chin and smirk on the face.

"How do you know that?" Sakura asked, surprised.

The lady chuckled and smiled, "I'm always in your head, Sakura."

Sakura was silent for a moment before nodded. "Yeah. I know that it is really bad. You are thinking of how devious i am, right?"

The lady shook her head, "No, i never think of you that way. You can never deny your heart." Her eyes fell dreamily to the rain outside the coffee shop. "Sakura, if someday you could finally meet your family again, what would you do?"

Sakura frowned and then she followed the lady too, staring out of the window. "I would say i'm sorry that i did not spend fifteen years with them. Sorry that i could not turn back time and keep that accident from happening." She smiled sadly, wondering what life could bring to her and her family.

"I would tell them also that i love them in spite of what has happened. I would try my very best to make them proud and protect them." Sakura continued. "I would always be there for them both in bad and good times. And would never leave them again."

The lady smiled and stroked Sakura's auburn hair softly.

"But the truth is i am not even sure that i will ever meet them again." Sakura muttered softly, her sight fell to the floor. "It's almost sixteen years."

The lady frowned at Sakura, "Don't be upset like that, Sakura. You'll never know what life brings to you."

Sakura looked up at the lady and chuckled, "Yeah, i know. But sometimes it just gets too impossible in my eyes."

"Maeda-san."

Sakura turned around and found her employer went to her.

"How is everything going?" Yoshiyuki asked with a smile, viewing the coffee shop with his eyes.

"Everything is great, Terada-sama." Sakura answered politely. "Do you want me to make you some pancake?"

Yoshiyuki shook his head, "Please, don't bother, Maeda-san. I just want to check up on the coffee shop and you."

"Me? Is there something wrong, Terada-sama?"

Yoshiyuki exhaled, sat at an empty table and gestured for Sakura to join him. "There is something i need to ask you."

Sakura sat in front of him and looked at her employer attentively.

"Rika told me that you seem distraught lately. Do you have any problems?" Yoshiyuki asked kindly.

Sakura was silent for a moment. She must have showed a lot of stress which had made people worried about her. "No, i'm fine, Terada-sama. There is no problem at all. Rika was just worried too much." She lied, a curve of smile helped her to ensure the man in front of him.

Yoshiyuki looked at her for a moment, seemingly studying her answer before saying, "If you need anything, you can tell me, Maeda-san. I'll help you in any way i can." He said.

"Thank you very much for your concern, Terada-sama. But everything is really fine for me now." She bowed her head respectfully.

Yoshiyuki sighed and nodded, "Alright then. And please take care of yourself too. Rika also said that you look rather unhealthy." He added.

"Yes, Terada-sama." She grimaced at his words. Everyone seemed to already notice her. How should she keep this to herself?

"You seem getting along well with Nadeshiko-san?" He asked.

Sakura nodded, "I really like Nadeshiko-san. We appear to have a lot of things in common."

Yoshiyuki smiled and chuckled, "Yes, you are."

Syaoran ran his fingers on the piano keys as he rehearsed the melody Sakura had given to him the other day. He was synchronizing it with the lyrics he had made. Sakura had told him that the song titled Yoru no Uta, Song of Night.

His fingers replayed the last verse of the song. It sounded full of hope and light. He perused the lyrics once again.

He smiled softly. He hoped the lyrics he wrote could show the harmony with the melody. and that Sakura would like this.

He folded the score and put it inside the economic theory book which he had been reading. His mind was suddenly filled by Tomoyo. What should he do about them? He rubbed his face with his palms tiredly.

He did not want to be trapped in an unhappy marriage later. But if he broke it up, there were absolutely damage everywhere. His mother was going to be disappointed and the relationship with the Kinomoto Group would be ruined.

He sighed deeply. This was not only about him.

Touya formed a wide grin on his face as he was practicing his technique for a heart surgery tonight. His attending, Kobayashi, had chosen him to assist her in a rare surgery involving an eight year old girl who had been living with her skin growing directly on to the heart muscle. This was a one in a lifetime chance to prove himself.

He stretched his hands to give it a rest and sighed tiredly. His thought flew to his family. Again, the situation in his house was kind of strained in these last few months. His parents seemed to argue a lot and his sister was having rough times. Kaho and his job were his sanctuary to ease all his worries.

He wondered what he would have been if Kaho had not been there for him. He could not even imagine it. But even though Kaho was the most real thing in his life, there was still a pang in his heart which made their relationship incomplete.

"Practicing a lot?"

Touya did not bother to look up at his eternal nemesis but answered, "Surely you have heard that Kobayashi asked for me."

Yukito leaned behind the lab desk, arms crossed and a dim grin on his face. "Surely you have heard also that he decided that i am more capable than you to perform this substantial surgery."

"What?" Touya shot his head up, glaring at him. "What do you mean? Kobayashi personally told me even weeks ago."

Yukito just shrugged lazily, "Now you know what it is like, right? Betrayed? Fooled? Well, enjoy having those, just like i had years ago. Even though what you did to me was far worse than this." He growled spitefully.

Touya clenched his fists tightly and strode to the grey haired man furiously. He grabbed Yukito by the collar as he felt his body shaking from anger. "I had apologized to you until i was fed up of myself, i gave you a lot of good intention to make amends, but you blew me up. What exactly do you want from me?" He shouted vehemently.

Yukito suddenly hit his fist to the man's in front of him, meeting Touya's jaw; causing blood immediately covering the dark haired man's lower face.

"You, scoundrel!" Touya threw another punch to Yukito and they involved in a fight.

The hustle invited the people outside into the laboratorium. They tried to break up the fight between the two men.

A lithe form slid between the crowds, yelling, "Both of you, stop!" Meiling looked up at them alternately in disgust. "People are looking!" She hissed angrily to them. She grabbed her mentor's arm and dragged him out of the laboratorium to one of the doctors' messes.

"What were you doing?" Meiling demanded once they were inside and she pushed him to sit down on a chair.

Yukito panted. He just slightly glanced at her and cradled his head in his arms. "Go away. It's not your business."

"Of course, it is! You made such commotion which must be attracting the board and it's officially everybody's problem now. I will not be surprised if you are going to be in probation." Meiling hissed heatedly, hustling about the kit aid for tending his wounds. "Listen to me, there was nothing you could do if that Mizuki girl chose Kinomoto over you! All those tantrums you threw were helpless and trust me, they would never budge! So, why are you torturing yourself?" She fumed keenly, not caring whether her mentor would think of her as a meddling person. How in the hell she was always the one who middled every fight? The last one had been her cousins and now his mentor. Who would be the next then? She shook her head disbelievingly. "How could you be in surgery with hands like these?" She said desperately as she tended his bruised fists.

Yukito could only sigh as he listened to the girl's scolding. She was right. It had been a very fool of him to be provoked into a fight. His emotion apparently had taken of its best. He winced every now and then as she gently brushed his face with antiseptic solution.

"Open your mouth!" She ordered firmly only to find out crimson streaks between his teeth. She bit her lips, trying not to grimace too much from the ugly scene. This will take much time than she had thought before, she sighed.

Yukito slammed his car's door when he arrived at Tsukishiro mansion that night. The black limousine of his father's, which was parked near the small fountain, did not catch his sight at all. He had been indifferent for too long.

His quick stride to his room was stopped by the deep voice of Hiroto Tsukishiro, calling him. Yukito turned around and said tiredly, "What?"

"What is that tone?" His father glared at him, "Explain yourself for your behavior today, young man!"

He lifted his eyebrows slowly. For the thousandth times that day, he let anger burn himself, "Why are you suddenly interested? You never care for me. Nobody does anyway." He shouted.

Before his father could reply a word, he turned his body and left the old man.

Sakura stepped slowly inside the music room as soft melody playing into her ears. There she found Syaoran sitting at the piano bench, playing her song; the mystery she had not yet solved.

She smiled and sat beside him, listening to the melody intently and watching his fingers moving gracefully on the keys. It brought her some kind of warmth every time she listened to this song. She took the score and read the lyrics he had created to put in to the song.

In the night sky, they twinkle

The far stars of gold

The same color as the small bird

that looked up in my dream last night

In the sleepless night,

I sing this song alone

Together with the blowing wind,

I fly riding on my thoughts

In the night sky, it sparkles

The distant moon of silver

The same color as the wild rose

that was blooming in my dream last night

In the gentle night,

I sing this song alone

Let me sing with you tomorrow

Riding the wings of dreams

He ended the song quietly, letting the last notes floating, touching her heart. He turned his sight to her. A pair of brilliant emerald eyes stared at him. He studied her face closely; her delicate small nose, her pale rosy lips and her porcelain-skinned cheek. She reminded him so much of that dainty girl from his childhood.

"Would you tell me what has occupied your mind?" He murmured, moving closer to her.

"I don't know." She whispered back.

He stayed still for a while. After a few seconds of looking at her, he softly pressed his lips to hers.

Eriol stared absent-mindedly at the computer screen in front of him. The K&L Hotel had officially opened after years of his hard work planning in this family business. He finally made a start to prove himself that he could balance both his priority in medicine and family business, even though it was really hard for sure.

His mind never left Tomoyo's face whenever she was heartbroken by Syaoran. He did not know what to do either. He loved her. He had been in love with her since he did not even know when. But she only thought of him as her brother and best friend, nothing more. He knew that he did not do anything to win her heart. But how could he do that when he understood perfectly that Syaoran was the only one she saw? How happy she was whenever she was with him?

He took a deep inhale of breath, slowly exhaling it out. He was never a kind who believed in fist fight and he realized that he had been such a dumb to hit Syaoran the other day. He had been too much fumed. But he knew he could not rely on to that again. He was better than that.

He got out of his office and decided to meet his cousin again. He knew that Syaoran would still be at university at this hour. As he arrived at Tomoeda University, he wandered around. Syaoran did not answer his calls. It meant that he needed to look for him from scratch. The university had not changed since he had graduated from here, he realized. If he was right, he would find Syaoran in music room. That was his second favorite place for solitude after the library.

He paced to the great hall direction where the music room was located. He managed his breath to not lose control again. This should be solved with presence of mind.

He could hear a faint sound of piano when he neared the room. He peeked inside carefully and he caught his cousin's figure was playing piano. There was a girl sitting beside him.

His eyebrows were getting higher at the realization hitting him. He did not understand where this came from, but he was sure that this girl had to be the one whom Syaoran harbored his feeling to. He was not even surprised when Syaoran kissed the girl in the end. The way Syaoran looked at the girl, it was not the same one he gave Tomoyo.

His breath became erratic as anger filled his being. No, he had to cool down. This was for Tomoyo after all.

He then hit his knuckles on to the door to catch his cousin's attention. Both of them looked up and his cousin furrowed his eyebrows. Syaoran slowly got up and went into him.

Eriol did not say anything, just leading them into somewhere more private. When they were in a corner of the hall gate where there was no one, Eriol turned around and hissed, "What is wrong with you, Syaoran? What do you really want exactly?"

Syaoran sighed and touched his forehead with his hand. "I'm really sorry that you had to see that."

"Sorry? You said 'sorry'?" Eriol shouted angrily. "Where did you put your brain all this time? Syaoran, you are engaged with Tomoyo!" He emphasized every word in the last sentence.

"I..." Syaoran opened his mouth, but he did not know what to say anymore. He knew that he was wrong and he should not have done that. He did not know what he must have done instead. The only thing he knew was that he did not love Tomoyo.

Eriol held his hand up, "I don't need to hear any of your excuses. If you do not want to be with her, break the engagement. Or else, you better start to treat her the way you should have. Do not torment her any longer." He said firmly. He did not care anymore if people said he meddled in somebody's private relationship. He could not keep looking at Tomoyo being hurt.

When Syaoran stayed still, Eriol sighed and spoke, "I will not tell Tomoyo about this, but you have to make the right decision." He glared one last time before leaving his cousin with another enigmatic dilemma.

Tomoyo was surprised that her parents came home earlier than usual this night. But she was happy for it meant that she could have dinner together with Nadeshiko and Fujitaka. Touya was still at the hospital and seemed to not be home any sooner. She just missed to gather with her family. Because of their own activities, they rarely saw each other, even merely for having meals together.

However it seemed her wishes were just too much. At the dinner, the three of them were drowned in silence it was almost deafening. There were only clinks of their cutleries meeting the porcelain plates.

She looked at both her parents alternately. Her mother's face was wry, while Tomoyo believed that her father was trying hard to be indifferent.

"Is there something wrong?" Tomoyo asked carefully. But nobody answered her. Tomoyo picked a fried dumpling dipped in mayonnaise to offer it to her mother, "Okaa-san, this is really good. You should eat this."

Nadeshiko did not heed Tomoyo, instead she stood up and detached her serviette. "I'm full already." She then left Tomoyo and Fujitaka, striding upstairs to her room.

Tomoyo sighed and put down her cutlery distastefully.

"Don't mind her, honey. Your mother is only having a little problem. Eat." Fujitaka nodded, smiling at her.

"It's about onee-san, right?" Tomoyo asked wistfully. "I wish i could help her."

Fujitaka patted on her wrist, trying to comfort his daughter. "There is nothing we can do."

Tomoyo nodded. She suddenly remembered the foreclosure letter on her desk. "Otou-san, do you have a dispute with one of the orphanages in Tomoeda? I saw the letter the other day." She asked, trying to not look too interested.

His father nodded, "Why did you ask?"

Tomoyo smirked softly. "No, i was just curious. Isn't the commencement of the construction supposed to be this May?"

"Yes, it was supposed to." His father confirmed. "But we have a little problem with the displacement of the orphanage. They refused the foreclosure. I said that if they could provide a specified amount of compensation, i would reconsider it. But i doubt they meet the requirement." He frowned and shook his head.

"Hmm. Didn't you think the extension was a bit too much for them? We already postponed the commencement for a few months last year. If it was to be prolonged any longer, we would experience a huge loss." Tomoyo asserted, trying to be convincing.

"Do you think so?" Fujitaka rubbed his chin in considering manner.

Tomoyo nodded, "They can look for another place to stay anyway."

"Alright, i'll talk to the mortgage department." Fujitaka exhaled and continued his dessert.

Tomoyo smiled innocently to her father. I told you not to mess with me, Maeda.

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