Disclaimer:

I do not own any material from Card Captor Sakura.

The song 'And I Love You So' is owned by Don McLean.

And there are some lyrics from the song 'Speaking a Dead Language' by Joy Williams, also some wise words from the Holy Bible.

Summary:

Sakura was separated for years from her family by an accident, that it nearly makes her lose hope to reunite with her loved ones. But like everyone believes: miracle happens. Even though there will always be something obstructs on the way or at the end.

EDGE OF DESIRE

Chapter 9 - Speaking a Dead Language

I wonder when did it all stop making sense? I don't understand. I remember we were so sure, so innocent. But that was then. Can we ever go back? - Joy Williams

Sakura could not believe what she just had read. Luckily she had found the letter before anyone at the orphanage had done. The Kinomoto Group had decided to shorten the deadline by one month. Seriously how absurd those people could get? One month could not make any difference than it was supposed to be earlier. Sakura sighed frustratedly.

Now what she had to do? Everything seemed impossible to her now. She started to think that this was a lost cause. Was there anything left for her to hope for?

She dragged herself to the Autumn Blossom as if she had no energy left. Her world had become bleak since the letter came. She was powerless, did not know what to do. She even had been considering to tell the Sisters, but the idea immediately dissolved. Sometimes she just wished to bury herself in the deepest hole and never wanted to get out.

She was absent-mindedly rubbing the tables clean when the entry door of the coffee shop rang open and she looked up to see Nadeshiko and Yoshiyuki striding in. Sakura politely greeted them, "Good afternoon, Ma'am, Terada-sama."

"I'll serve you some coffee then." Sakura bowed as both of the olders settled at the table near the coffee shop counter.

Yoshiyuki quickly caught the young girl's arm, "Maeda-san, today is Nadeshiko-san's birthday. I think you should join us here." He smiled and led Sakura to the table. "Yamazaki-san, would you please help us with some delectable cakes and desserts?" He asked the short-cut haired young man.

"Of course, Terada-sama."

"Wait!" Sakura exclaimed. The three of them looked at them, surprised. "Please let me do it, Terada-sama. I want to make something for Nadeshiko-sama." She stated shyly.

Both Nadeshiko and Yoshiyuki smiled.

"So be it." Yoshiyuki patted the girl's hand. She nodded and disappeared quickly to the kitchen. He laughed quietly. "What a lovely girl she is, right, senpai?"

Nadeshiko nodded and smiled to her junior, "She is, Yoshiyuki-san. You know, it is so weird that she reminds me a lot of myself and my cousin." She bit her lower lips as if she held tears to come. "It's really curious, isn't it?"

Yoshiyuki wanted to shake his head and say 'no, it is not curious at all', but he could not. He needed to keep this until the right time. Instead he put a commiserating pat on the woman's hand.

Sakura and Takeshi showed up fifteen minutes later with trays full of slices of cakes, waffle, various tidbits and drinks. They already put candles on one of the cakes. Yoshiyuki started to chant the 'happy birthday' song, followed by his two employees.

"Please make a wish, Nadeshiko-san."

Nadeshiko chuckled, letting out a happy sigh. She then closed her eyes for a moment, inwardly uttering her perpetual pray to find her only daughter. She really wished that she would be bestowed certain epiphany this year. She opened her eyes again and blew the candles.

"Happy birthday, Ma'am." Sakura congratulated Nadeshiko, clapping her hands.

Nadeshiko gave her a watery smile and without she even realized it, she pulled Sakura into her and embraced the girl tightly. She stroked that short auburn hair softly and whispered, "Thank you, Maeda-san."

"Tomoyo, are you ready?" Touya shouted, calling his sister from the first floor of the mansion. Today was their mother's birthday and he and Tomoyo had already planned to celebrate it at one of Kinomoto's restaurant chains with the whole family. They were now going to fetch her at Autumn Blossom Coffee Shop.

The tap of Tomoyo's heels downing the stairs, set him up. She hurriedly strode to her brother while still trying to attach her earrings. "Let's go."

He nodded and led her to the limousine. He checked out his cell phone and read a message from Kaho that she was already at the restaurant with her family. He replied her with a short one which telling her he was on the way. He then turned to his hustling sister and asked, "Is your fiancee already behaved?"

Tomoyo gave him a poker face, replied, "I can handle him. Don't worry. Anyway what is okaa-san doing in Rika's place?"

Touya shrugged and said, "I don't know. She seems to spend a lot of time there lately."

Tomoyo nodded slightly at her brother's answer. She suddenly remembered Meiling's words the other day. "Onii-san, Meiling said some weird things at our last meeting and it has been successfully occupying my mind ever since."

"What did she say?"

"Some stupid and absurd things. She said that Syaoran has liked a girl since he was little, saying that she was his first love and everything else." She confided, laughing sarcastically. "Like i would believe her. She really knew that we were betrothed to each other since we were not even born yet. And there was no other girl whom Syaoran be with before me."

Touya was startled to hear his sister. He was glad that inside the limousine was dark, so she would not see his face. He remembered perfectly well that Tomoyo had not been the one who had been promised to Syaoran. Both his parents and the Li's indeed had agreed to match the Li's first son to Kinomoto's daughter, but Tomoyo was not their daughter. Sakura was. But the tragic accident had happened and they had switched Sakura with Tomoyo instead. Touya sighed inaudibly. He did not think that he could ever reveal this to Tomoyo.

Tomoyo, did not notice her brother's awkwardness, kept talking to him about her plan on Touya's engagement party which would be in a few weeks. They stopped in front of a coffee shop, named Autumn Blossom and got out of the limousine. It had been a very long time since she had visited this place. She could use this small opportunity to greet her old friend, Rika. She heard that her friend was already expecting.

Both siblings entered the serene coffee shop and were startled to see the unexpected scenery upon them. Touya lifted his eyebrows highly to see the orphaned girl sitting with his mother and her friend, Yoshiyuki Terada, seemingly having warm conversation. This reminded him at his finding the other day when he had visited Tomoeda University and seen the girl together with the brat. He snorted indignantly. Is this girl planning for retaliation? he thought.

While Tomoyo clenched her teeth so tightly that she was surprised it was not broken yet. How far this girl would taint her life? Was this wench not satisfied already with stealing her fiancee? Now the girl wanted another conquest for her mother?

"Okaa-san." They strode and approached their mother.

Nadeshiko rose up and smiled to them, "Oh, Touya-kun, Tomoyo-chan. Thank you for picking me up here."

Touya nodded and smiled tightly to Yoshiyuki Terada. "Shall we go now, okaa-san? Otou-san, hii-ojiichan and the Mizukis are already waiting." His mother nodded and he could tell that her mother was reluctant to leave this place.

Nadeshiko suddenly remembered something and said, "Our family will be holding Touya-kun's engagement party on this 29 February, along with his birthday party. Of course you are invited, Yoshiyuki-san. And Maeda-san, we would be very glad if you could come too." She held Sakura's hands and stared at the girl expectantly.

Sakura, who was just as startled as Touya and Tomoyo at the realization that Nadeshiko was a Kinomoto, was silent for a moment. She could not believe this. Why her life was surrounded by that family?

It was added when she also became aware that the mysterious lady had appeared again. Much to her surprise, this time the lady approached Tomoyo and stroked the girl's hair gently, with a longing look on her eyes. This lady must have known the Kinomoto family, she thought. She then noticed the glares from the Kinomoto siblings to her, but before she could even open her mouth, Yoshiyuki answered for her, "Of course she will be glad too to come. Right, Maeda-san?" He turned to his employee.

As she gained her composure back, Sakura nodded and smiled to Nadeshiko, "It will be an honour, Ma'am."

"Alright then, it seems that i have to leave now." Nadeshiko said happily and hugged Sakura once again. "Thank you once again for the small celebration." She said to Sakura and Yoshiyuki.

The three Kinomotos then left the coffee shop. One was contented, and the rests were tangled in anger and askance.

Yukito Tsukishiro stared at his office, his hands inside his trousers's pockets. He strode slowly to his desk, slid open the drawer and took a particular frame which he had buried since he remembered when. He smiled as he saw a picture of him together with Touya and Kaho.

He heaved a long sigh. They had been so happy, young and innocent. And he had been a fool. Since Touya and Kaho started to date, he had known that he would not even have gotten the slightest chance with Kaho. He had felt betrayed and angry at Touya for not letting him know that he had also harboured feelings at the girl.

Yukito could not deny that he really missed those times when they had been together. They had been like his own family, caring and loving him. He sighed once again and fixed himself. He had to do this. This was the only way that they could get back like they used to be.

There was a knock at the door and he turned around. Touya smiled sadly and stepped inside the room.

"I heard you signed up for voluntary in Afghanistan." Touya said quietly.

Yukito just shrugged. He closed the drawer back. "Someone has to retreat before it all comes down."

Touya sighed, "Yukito, we do not have to be like this. You do not need to go anywhere. We can be like we used to be."

Yukito shook his head at the man who had been his best friend since they had been little. "I need to do this, Touya. You know that." He put a smile and continued, "I'm really sorry." He said sincerely.

Touya was silent for a moment and nodded, "I'm sorry too. But i really wish that you will come to our wedding."

"I'll try my best." Yukito smirked and stepped outside his office, stopped for a while to give his best friend a pat on the shoulder. Outside his door, there standing Li Meiling, with her watery smile at him.

Meiling abruptly came to him and encircled her arms around the man who had been so painfully grumpy to her, but had taught her loads of things. "I'm sure that you made the right decision." She muttered.

He chuckled softly and hugged her back. "Thank you for everything."

She pulled herself back, tears pouring down her cheeks, "You are welcome."

Syaoran stood nervously in front of the Kibou Yoi Orphanage. He paced slowly back and forth as he was waiting for Sakura. He absent-mindedly inspected his appearance on his limousine mirror, to make sure that everything was in the right place: he had himself in a pair of black tuxedo and wore a white shirt covered in pale purple satin vest inside. Meiling had ensured him that his appearance was 'dapper'. Well, he thought he could settle with it.

Shortly thereafter, Sakura appeared and cleared her throat to catch the man's attention. He spun back and was startled to see the girl in front of him. She wore short sleeve, ankle length, emerald dress, matching her brilliant orbs.

He approached her slowly, placing his hands on her shoulder blades. He planted a peck on her forehead and muttered, "You are beautiful."

"Thank you. You look decent too." She smiled.

He frowned, "Only decent?"

"You have to make efforts if you want more." She answered, smirking softly at him.

"Well then, we shall go now." He offered his hand to her.

"I was about to send Takashi to drag you here if you did not show up in ten minutes." That was Chiharu's chatter once they had arrived at the coffee shop.

Sakura just grimaced at her friend's words. She was surprised that the place had been conjured into a mini ballroom just like the one in mansions. She had to admit that Chiharu had what it took to manage things like this. Beside her, Syaoran immediately took her arm into his and smiled down to her.

"Both of you look really good together." Naoko said dreamily, making the pair standing awkwardly and blushing. She had managed to ask one of her college friends to be her partner tonight, much to her reluctance to attend this kind of event.

"Thanks, Naoko." Sakura forced a grin. Nevertheless she was still feeling guilty to ask someone who had been attached like Syaoran.

Syaoran noticed her uneasiness and bent down, whispered to her ear, "Ease that feeling away, Sakura."

She quickly turned to him, eyeing him skeptically, "How do you know?"

"Trial and error. Now why don't you give your chocolates out, Willy Wonka?" He chuckled, still amused at Chiharu's effort to insist trading chocolates. He had personally thought chocolate trading tradition only suited for junior high school. He handed her a paper bag full of bar of chocolates.

She slapped his arm lightly and went to her friends. They had an extravagant dinner right after praying together for Rika who had her pregnancy on the sixth month; her stomach had started to round.

Sakura's co-workers seemed to put huge interests at Syaoran, much to the fact that he was the famous heir of Li Clan. They bombarded him with lots of questions regarding his family business and his plan and role at the particular.

"That was huge." He muttered to Sakura when all people seemed finished already with their investigation.

She chuckled silently to her partner. "Would you take me to the dance floor? So that all your teaching wouldn't go in vain." She said softly to him when Chiharu had keenly announced that the dance floor was open. A gentle song immediately swarmed the spot.

He smirked and stood up, hand holding out. "Can i be your only dance partner tonight then, Miss Maeda?"

She reached his hand and smiled, "As you wish, young man."

He led her to the center of the room. The others had already occupied the dance floor as well. He placed his hands on her shoulder and waist, gently roaming the room.

And I love you so

The people ask me how

How I've lived till now

I tell them I don't know

Sakura was glad that her dress swept down to her ankles, so that she did not need to reveal her skinny bluish legs. Aiko had lent her own dress and she, along with Miho and Nana had worked together to 'prettify' Sakura. Sakura would not know what she would have been if they had not been there as she was not the type to understand what to do with dress up and make up.

I guess they understand

How lonely life has been

But life began again

The day you took my hand

She tried very hard to remember their tutorial, hoping not to stomp on his feet. But he just looked at her reassuringly, bent his body closer to calm her. She closed her eyes, enjoying his warm embrace on her.

And yes, I know how lonely life can be

The shadows follow me

And the night won't set me free

But I don't let the evening get me down

Now that you're around me

She absorbed his aqua perfume. God knew how melted she could be because of this man. She sighed contentedly.

And you love me too

Your thoughts are just for me

You set my spirit free

I'm happy that you do

He lifted her chin up, wanted to be drown in those warm emerald eyes. He wondered if those people around them now feeling the same to their own partners. He never knew what it was like to be in love, he was too raw in that area.

The book of life is brief

And once a page is read

All but love is dead

That is my belief

She smiled to him as they kept spinning the room, the other people went vanished.

"What is this place?" He asked her. They had left the ball earlier with the excuse of curfew at Sakura's home. But she had dragged her walking near the center of the town to a large park.

"It's King Penguin Park. I usually go here with my brother and sisters on weekend." She answered with a grin on her face. She moved near a large King Penguin slide at the centre of the park. "Do you want to slide?" She asked him.

He only smiled at her and gestured her to go first. He could not help to feel glad with her childish antics. He remembered her reluctance to share her problems with him. But he got it over already. It was enough for him, as long as he saw her smile and happy.

He sat on a bench and she followed him. She sighed happily as he put his arms around her.

"I love you, Sakura."

Tomoyo stared at her laptop screen. Today was valentine's day and what she had done all day long was only doing her projects and research. Her so called fiancee had not bothered to ask her for a valentine dinner of something else. For heaven sake, his cell phone was not even active. She closed her eyes and clenched her fists.

She took a deep breath, trying to ease her mind and think clearly. But she could not. Her brows lifted as she saw a new email notification on her desktop. She opened the attachment which her friend had sent. This was the negative side of being one of the prominent figures in a small town like Tomoeda; her family and the Li Clan were never alone.

Her breath started to quicken as she realized that the attachments were snapshots of her fiancee and Saki Maeda, taken today. Syaoran wore a suit and the girl was in a dress. Tomoyo screamed frustratedly. She swept her desk violently, making the documents and stuffs shattered down to the floor. She would not tolerate this any longer.

The next day she strode furiously inside Tomoeda University, looking for a certain auburn haired girl. She would not let her fiancee and her mother being stolen by some worthless and insufferable witch like Maeda. She spotted the girl near the library and snatched her arm, quickly dragged her to the nearest restroom.

"What are you doing?" Sakura yelled at Tomoyo.

As Tomoyo spun to Sakura, she hit her hand to the other girl's cheek hardly. She grabbed the girl's short hair in her hands and shook the girl violently. "I told you that he is mine! Nobody can take him away from me!" Tomoyo screamed. She just needed to release her anger. All she wanted was to see this girl shed bloody tears, crawl like a person she was. Tomoyo wanted to see the girl and all the people she loved suffering. And she would just laugh on Sakura about it.

Sakura dragged herself along the way home. She was immensely shocked and in crash from what that rude Kinomoto heiress had done to her. She had spent half an hour in the university restroom to fix her appearance so that people in orphanage would not see her messed. Her cheeks were bruised a little from that fight. She had cried and wailed for a moment, but she had not let herself suffering for too much because of that rude girl.

Her day became much ruined when she had received the termination letter from Tomoeda University. She could not believe this. She was sure that it was all Kinomoto's playing. How someone could manage to be that cruel and vile, she did not understand. What was she going to have to do now? With the deadline coming closer, she would have never been able to meet what the Kinomoto demanded. She just wanted to curl up in a tight ball and hide from this ruthless world, if she was allowed. She sighed heavily. She would have to look for another job immediately.

"I'm home." She mumbled listlessly as she opened the entrance door.

She was startled when she saw Aiko and Nana gathered in the living room with Kei sat on a chair. "What happened?"

Aiko turned to her sister and said worriedly, "Some people came to him and suddenly beat him to his senseless. I cannot believe someone could do this." Her eyes were filled with tears as she was tending to her brother.

Sakura quickly took a grip from a chair beside her and sat. Even her family too? She thought angrily.

"Onee-chan, are you alright?" Nana asked worriedly, nearing her.

Sakura lifted her hand to show that she was fine and went to her brother's side. His face was battered as he winced repeatedly from Aiko's touch.

"I'll survive, onee-chan. Don't worry." Kei tried to smile, but it was fail as his face hurt with even a little movement.

Sakura bit her lips, feeling the salty drops from her eyes. "I'm really sorry, Kei-kun."

Syaoran hummed as he got out from his car and walked inside the university. Smile had already been put on his face since he had gotten up this morning, making his cousin confused at his behaviour. Of course he had not answered when she had asked what had been on about.

He strode towards the library, the place where Sakura was often stationed. His eyes scanned the whole area of the place, but she was nowhere to be found. "Where is she?" He mumbled to himself.

"Li-san, is there anything i can help you with?" Ms. Kimura approached him.

"Do you know where Maeda-san is?" He asked the older woman.

Ms. Kimura was suddenly crestfallen as she smiled sadly, "She is not here anymore. The board decided to terminate her employment."

"What?" He almost yelled, his eyes widened in shock.

The woman nodded, "It was a pity. She is a very good girl..."

He did not listen to the rest of her words, instead he strode quickly while taking out his cell phone and trying to dial Sakura's number, but it was turned off. He sighed frustratedly and decided to go to Autumn Blossom. She must have been there.

He fastly drove his car towards Yaesu District. Once he arrived, he could spot her figure from the glass window. He strode inside the coffee shop, grabbed her hands and practically dragged her outside the place as she was struggling against him.

"Syaoran, get off me!" Sakura yelled, repelling his hand.

He turned to see her, a bit surprised of her response. "Why didn't you tell me? What happened? Why they suddenly fired you?" He asked worriedly.

She bit her lips and looked away from him, "It's none of your business. I already got out of that place. You do not need to worry anymore."

"I will try to talk and persuade the board tomorrow to cancel the termination. It should not be hard." He told her, placing his hand on her shoulder. He knew how important the job was for her. He remembered her predicaments in the orphanage and other issues she was having, he could not let her be wounded that badly.

Sakura looked at him and snorted cynically, "It's not hard for you, right? You have a lot of money, then you can easily hire and fire people. Whatever floats your boat, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" Syaoran frowned, having no clue at whatever was irking her.

Sakura took a deep breath and said quietly, "At first i did not believe that relationship depends on social status. But i realized that we live in very different worlds, Li-san. You should have not spent your precious time with someone like me."

"Sakura, i don't understand. What do you mean?" He said exasperatedly.

She was silent for a moment. She had to do this. There was no other way. Their relationship had been a mistake from the start. And it was all her fault. "Leave me alone starting from now."

Meiling had been feeling gloomy and dull for the last few days. Her co workers had even said she looked depressed. They had thought she had been stressed out from the workloads, but she knew better than that. Ever since Yukito Tsukishiro had left the country, she had been listless. She felt lost and purposeless.

Tsukishiro might have been such a gigantic pain, but he had been a really good and proficient mentor. She had learned loads of things from him, even the ones what her lecturers had not taught her back in Hong Kong. She sighed drearily.

She slid out from her car and strode inside the Li mansion. She was just thinking of spending the rest of the night hiding in her room, instead of having talks with her cousin like usual, when she heard yells and shouts from the living room. She raised her eyebrows and went there, sighted Syaoran and Tomoyo who were equally fumed and infuriated.

"Yes, i was the one who fired her. I did that for protecting our relationship! I wanted to make her suffer and beg to me for life! You cheated on me, Syaoran! There is nothing more shameful in this world!"

"There has never been such relationship between us, Tomoyo! All we did was torturing ourselves for our elders' sake! You know what, i'm going to talk to my mother to cancel this absurd agreement."

"What? You cannot do that, Syaoran Li ! You can't do that to me only because of that blasted girl!"

Meiling was astounded to hear that. She slowly approached the room as they began to notice her presence. She stared at Tomoyo in disbelief and disgust. "How could you do such things, Tomoyo?"

"This is not your business, Meiling. Stay out of this." Tomoyo snapped, gritting her teeth. "Maybe it's time for you to leave this city. Your presence is undesirable here."

"Don't talk to my cousin like that, Tomoyo." Syaoran warned in a low voice.

"Whatever. Just remember, Syaoran. This is not the end. I can still do so much things." Tomoyo hissed and turned around, glaring at Meiling as she left the room.

Tomoyo sat inside her limousine, staring outside to the road as she felt tears disturbingly streaming down her cheeks. "Take me to the Li Business Center." She ordered her chauffeur.

Her mind started to relive all moments she had spent with Syaoran. Had there been really no relationship between them? She wondered when had it all stopped making sense? She did not understand. She remembered when she had been so sure that Syaoran had been the only person she had wanted to spend her life with.

What would her parents and brother say about this? She would only be a disappointment to them. As if they had times to think about her little problem. she thought sarcastically. Her parents and brother had their own things to be stressed out about. She sighed heavily. She could only think one person who could be her sanctuary to lean on now: Eriol. He had been her hiding place, her shield.

Eriol was studiously working on the K&L Hotel management as the hotel had already been open for a few days. He looked up when Tomoyo knocked the door to his office and smiled at her. But it quickly faded away as he noticed dark tear streaks smudged on her porcelain cheeks. "Tomoyo, have you been crying?"

"I..." Tomoyo swallowed hardly. Her chest was hurting from restraining her sobs. She moved two doubtful steps towards him. "Nobody cares about me, Eriol. He... He said that he will leave me." She whispered. "Why couldn't i be happy even for once?"

Eriol closed his eyes, holding his breath. "Don't you remember once i said that you would never lose anything, Tomoyo?" He asked shakily.

"What?" Tomoyo stared at him, tilting her head in confusion.

"Why you never saw me when i was always there for you? Not even once you spared a glance at me. Why?" He shouted, his body trembling from disappointment and anger. He stepped towards her, putting his hands on her shoulders, shaking her - hoping that it was strongly enough to make her to really notice him. "Why?"

Sakura strode into her room as she got home from her shift at Autumn Blossom. She had spent days looking for a job and Takashi had an acquaintance who worked in a hotel chain. He had said that they needed more new people for their newest hotel in town. So she had applied and gotten accepted. She would be trained first for a month, but she still received full salary.

She sat on her bed, contemplating all her mistakes she had done and how she had ruined her own life. She clearly knew that she had no time to play around with all those loads to meet, but instead she had been toying an engaged man. Any profanity would be suitable to throw at her now. She cursed herself repeatedly. What if she could not meet the deadline? What should she say to her family?

She wiped her watery eyes with her hands as she heard a knock on her door. "Yes, please come in."

Sister Maeda opened the door slowly, stepped inside her room. There was a letter in her hand. She looked into Sakura, flustered, "Saki-san..."

Sakura's eyes fell to the letter, which bore a logo which she had despised in the last few months. The letter which she had been trying to hide - and she lost for words.

thank you very much for these alerters:

anaiza18

Sujene

HoshiRu27

Afienasm & brendatorres113: i know, but Tomoyo has been through a lot too :'(