For Kiki and Randi 3
"Can we talk?" Peter looked up to Eli standing in the doorway, the look on the face of his chief-of-staff told him it was something urgent that couldn't wait.
"Sure." he nodded, tossing the papers he was reading on his desk. He watched Eli close the door and walk into the room, stopping next to the couch.
"Maybe we can do this here? It's a private matter." Eli smiled nervously.
"Private, Eli?" Peter got up from behind his desk and joined Eli on the couch, sighing silently while preparing for some bad news.
"I've been sitting on this for a few days now, but I think you should know. Have a right to know." Eli said slowly while opening up a big envelope.
"What is it? Another picture of one of my kids with drugs?" he chuckled tensely.
"No." Eli sighed. "I wish it was." he added in a low voice as he produced some pictures from the envelope.
"Someone from our staff took these a few days ago." he handed Peter the photos.
"You have people following Alicia?" Peter snapped as he recognized his wife in the picture. Alicia was sitting in a restaurant with a man he didn't know.
"Well, not really following. I like to know what the people I deal with are doing, Peter. So I might get a head start if something goes wrong."
"Eli, stop following my family." Peter said seriously and handed Eli the pictures.
"Can we talk about that later? You need to see these."
"What is so scandalous about them? All I see is Alicia having lunch." he flipped through the few more pictures in the stack.
"Do you know the man she's having lunch with?" Eli nodded his head toward the pictures.
"No, I guess he's a client." he stated impatiently, not really sure where Eli was headed with this question.
"I wish he was, Peter." Eli sighed.
"Are you suggesting..." Peter trailed off as a memory shot through his head.
'You are free to see and sleep with whomever you like, but I don't want to know.'
Alicia's voice rang in his ears just as painful as it had been when she had actually said the words to him. He hadn't spent a thought about really doing what she had told him he could do - sleep with someone else. He still believed she would change her mind about the open marriage arrangement. He wasn't ready yet to let go of their marriage, even trusting that she'd agree to give them another chance. Though he had to admit that his hopes had faded after she even refused to show up for the dinner with the kids. The anger in her voice that night had been palpable, hurting him more than a slap to the face would've done.
"Is everything alright, Peter?" Eli eventually asked, jerking him out of his thoughts.
"No, nothing is alright." he sighed, closing his eyes, wishing for a small moment all of this would be gone once he opened them again.
"My marriage is over, Eli." he murmured, saying the words out loud for the first time.
"You're overreacting, Peter. This photo doesn't mean... You're both stressed. There has been a lot going on in the last year for both of you. You need a vacation, time to talk. This will pass, Peter." Eli tried to cheer him up but he looked right through his crisis manager façade. Peter knew that Eli's mind was racing to find a solution to have them stay married.
"If only it were that easy, Eli. I feel like she's drifted further away from me than she did right after the scandal surfaced. I have honestly no idea why she stayed with me all this time."
"She loves you, Peter. That's why she stayed and that's why you'll get through this rough patch as well." Eli continued.
"I have no reason to believe she still loves me. You should've seen her. That anger towards me." he buried his head in one hand.
"Ok, Peter. Now I'll need more information. What happened?" Peter could hear from Eli's tone that he had left the crisis manager behind and switched to be the friend, he realized, he desperately needed.
"We had a fight...a few days after Will died. She wasn't working and the kids got concerned. They called me and I went over to talk to her. I know now that I went with the wrong approach. I tried to snap her out of her lethargy but I was not at all ready for what she told me." he closed his eyes again, exhaling deeply. It had been painful to deal with this on his own, but telling it to someone else tortured him even more.
"I never wanted to stay in this marriage just for appearance. I wanted it to work again, really work. I knew we'd never get back to how it was before my cheating but I had hoped we could get to a different place to start anew because we still loved each other. That love kept her by my side, not a false sense of duty." he kept his gaze at the floor. It seemed easier to talk about it if he didn't look at Eli, pretending to have a conversation with himself.
"I'm still at a loss for what happened when you talked to Alicia. But you don't need to tell me, Peter."
"I haven't told this to anybody yet. I tried to deal with it by myself, tried to get her to talk to me once more. Hoping she'd change her mind. But now I see she's already doing what she told me I could do." his glance rested on the photos, Eli had given him. He had no idea how he felt. Only a few weeks ago he'd been filled with jealousy and rage while looking at these pictures. Now he just felt empty and defeated.
"She wants a fake marriage, Eli. She told me to do whatever I wanted and we stay married because we are valuable to each other's careers." There, he had finally said it. Breathing seemed somehow easier now but it also felt strangely more real, like he finally admitted this was truly happening.
"And you think she's already exercising this open marriage?" Eli asked carefully.
"Didn't you show me these pictures because you thought the same, that Alicia was having an affair?" he turned to eventually look at Eli again. The other man just nodded lightly.
"And you did so without knowing what I just told you. Do you agree now that my marriage is over?" he asked rhetorically.
"So, you'll just accept this?" Eli was clearly taken aback.
"What should I do? She's not talking to me. She even refused to show up to a dinner with the kids." he replied wearily.
"Should I talk to her?" Eli suggested charily.
"No, this is between Alicia and me." he shook his head.
"What will you do?"
"I have no idea, Eli. I have no idea."
Another two weeks had passed with no contact to Alicia. Peter hadn't tried to get in touch again. He had used the time to think about his options on how to deal with the situation. It had taken him a few days to reach his decision. A decision he had never thought he'd make. But once he had made up his mind he didn't waste any time to set it into motion and today would be the day he'd tell Alicia.
It was the night of Zach's graduation party so not his first choice on dealing with their marriage as this event should be solely about their son. But as chances were slim he'd get Alicia to meet with him, he would take this opportunity.
It felt strange to have Alicia by his side nearly all evening with her acting as if nothing was wrong. It hurt him to see how she clearly had no problems with pretending they still were a couple but it somehow strengthened his belief in his decision.
Finally the last guests had left and Zach and Grace had joined some of their friends for another party. He had stayed back in the kitchen while Alicia accompanied her brother to the door. He leaned back on the counter, looking around the room where so many of their fights had taken place. It was somehow ironic that this talk would happen here as well.
"Oh, you are still here." Alicia stated indifferently as she walked back into the room. He couldn't help but snort at the fact that her mask fell the moment they were alone.
"Yes, we need to talk." he said determinedly.
"I have nothing to say to you, Peter." she walked over to the cabinet, retrieving a wine glass from it and filling it.
"Ok, then you can just listen." he stated as he tossed an envelope onto the counter.
"What is that?" she looked up from her glass. "I told you to call my assistant with the appointments you need me to appear at."
"No worries. This will clear your schedule." he said as coldly as he could manage. This was much harder than he had thought. Part of him wanted to start begging her to give him another chance, but his mind kept telling him it was pointless. He had lost her. Her behavior made it all the more clearer for him that he had made the right decision.
"What is it, Peter?" she turned, putting down her glass.
He swallowed hard as he looked at her. This really wasn't what he wanted but he saw no other way out.
"The divorce papers. I have already signed them."