Here it is. The last chapter of this story. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it :)
Thanks again to Kiki and Randi for your help and being the best sounding boards one could hope for 3
She leaned back and just watched her family sitting around the dining-room table, wondering when would be the next time they'd all be in a room together. She had insisted to cook herself for the dinner Zach had wanted before he left for New York, wanting to make it special by not going to a restaurant. And she also hoped to get to talk to Peter. She had thought a lot about their situation and finally knew what she wanted.
"You want another piece of cake, Zach?" she reached for his plate.
"No, Mom. I'm full." he laughed, rubbing his stomach.
"Let me at least feed you as long as I can." she put another piece on his plate as the doorbell rang.
"You expecting someone?" Peter asked her.
"I am." Zach answered.
"I thought this should only be the four of us, Zach. Who is that?" she watched her son, confused.
"That's Sam. He's picking me up. We're leaving tonight, Mom." he smiled weakly at her.
"Tonight? Now?" she couldn't believe Zach's words, letting the cake server fall on the table.
"I thought you were leaving tomorrow afternoon. I thought…, I had planned…" she felt tears well up again but she swallowed them. She had known this moment would come but had hoped for a few more hours until she had to say goodbye.
"I know, Mom, but we'll beat traffic this way." Zach got up from his seat, walking towards her, hugging her.
"It's ok, Zach. Go get your stuff." she stood as well, pulling him in a tighter embrace.
"I'll be home for Thanksgiving, I promise." he smiled at her, loosening the embrace.
"I know." she brushed a tear away that had escaped though she really didn't want to cry.
Alicia watched Zach say goodbye to his sister and father before she hugged him one more time and accompanied him to the door. She stood in the door frame until he had stepped into the elevator. She still watched the spot long after he had gone when she heard steps behind her.
"Are you ok?" she felt Peter's hands slide around her waist, pulling her in an embrace. She froze for a second, not being used to his closeness any longer.
"I'm sorry. Old habit." he pulled his arms from her body but she held him back, covering his hands with hers.
"It's ok, Peter. I guess we both could use a hug now." she turned, putting her arms around him as well. They stood in silence for a while, Alicia realizing how much she really needed that hug.
"It'll be ok, Alicia. We can visit him over the summer." he paused. "I mean not together, each of us on our own. Together wouldn't be appropriate." Peter's voice gotten bitter as he stepped back, gazing at the floor.
"No, it wouldn't." she muttered under her breath. "I wanted to talk to you about that." she walked past him towards the kitchen.
"Did you sign the papers? Is that why you came by my office the other day?" he followed her but stopped in the doorway.
"I did sign them, Peter." she looked at him and it seemed like a shadow fell over his face, as if the last glimmer of hope he still had for them had left.
"Good. I'll have them delivered to court. Just give them to me and I'll leave." he still wasn't looking at her.
"Can we talk or do you have to be somewhere?" she asked hesitantly.
"No, I don't, but I have no idea what you might want to talk about. Now that you've signed, I guess we said it all. Theoretically we're divorced, Alicia. So what's left to say?" he peered up but avoided looking into her eyes.
"I'm no longer sure I did the right thing by signing, Peter." she started carefully, watching him for a reaction, but he stared motionless at a spot behind her.
"What do you mean?" he finally said after a few moments of silence.
"I think I shouldn't have signed. I don't want a divorce."
"And I can't go on with this fake marriage. I won't, Alicia. So there is no other solution." he looked down on the floor again, but she had seen the pain in his eyes.
"So, you really want a divorce, Peter?"
"You know that I don't want it. But I see no other way out. Don't you think we have suffered enough?" he peered up.
"I guess, but don't you want to know what made me change my mind?" she walked towards him, leaning against the counter, facing him.
"I'm not sure, Alicia." he stepped into the kitchen and sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island.
"It was you, Peter. You made me reconsider my signature." she passed by him, sitting down as well.
"Me? How? We have barely talked in weeks." he looked at her puzzled.
"It was nothing you said. I saw your wallpaper at your office the other day when I dropped by to give you the divorce papers."
"I don't understand, Alicia."
"I was so sure you had already slept with someone else. That and the talk I had with your mother pushed me to sign. But then I saw that picture of me on your laptop and everything fell into place again. I finally knew you're the one I still want to call first when something good happens, the one I want to turn for help and advice. You're the one I want to be faithful to, Peter." she knew she was talking too fast and probably not making sense but now that she had started talking she couldn't really stop.
"I don't really get what you're telling me, Alicia. And what has my mother done?" he asked her confused, interrupting her flood of words.
"She told me I should agree to the divorce. She said some things that made me sign but then when I got into your office I realized I had been blind for a long time. I saw that picture of all four of us from that gala last year and I remembered a talk with Grace I had that night where I realized I really still loved you, Peter. This made me think about what had changed since then? What had led me to push you away so far that I was sitting there with signed divorce papers." she paused and took a deep breath.
"Will's death…it threw me completely off track. I questioned everything. My work, my whole life, the roads I didn't take, the missed chances. And I couldn't get the 'what if's' out of my mind. What if I had chosen him back in college? What if I hadn't broken it off two years ago? It drove me crazy, Peter, and it hurt. I was hurting and I guess I wanted to hurt someone too. I chose you as my target. I'm not proud of what I said to you, destroying us with a few sentences and not giving you a chance to say something or to understand why I did it. Maybe because I didn't understand it either. All I knew was that he was dead and I'd never know what would've been if I had taken another road somewhere down the line. I sabotaged my own life, my own happiness. I might not have said it, but I was happy with you before Will died. And I realized that sitting on your desk, seeing you still had my picture on your screen even after I told you we were done. It showed me your mother was right. You really still loved me. And I realized that I still loved you too. That love made me chose you over him and that is why I want to stay married to you, Peter." she had finally said it. All that had been going through her head during the last few days. She noticed she had stared at her hands the whole time, playing with her wedding band. She looked up at Peter who sat motionless, his gaze again at a point behind her.
"Say something, Peter, please." she whispered after a while, trying to smile.
"Do you really mean all that?" he muttered after another few moments.
"Yes, I want option number three, Peter. Not a fake marriage or a divorce. I want us again, but this time for real. I want you to get rid of the house and move in here because I want us to have a home again that we both come home to every night." she reached for his hand carefully, covering it with hers.
"You think we can do that? You really think we can fix this?" he finally looked into her eyes.
"I think we can, if you still want to?" she whispered, hoping he didn't think their relationship wasn't beyond repair.
"I never wanted anything else, Alicia." he eventually flashed her a small smile, his hand moving under hers, interlacing their fingers.
"We're here." Eli appeared from the front of the bus, announcing their arrival at the site of the event.
"Give us another moment." Peter answered.
"Sure, but explain to me again why we needed this bus? It's hardly warranted for a State's attorney campaign." Eli rolled his eyes and raised a brow at them.
"Just go with it, Eli. You don't need to understand everything." Peter winked at Alicia as she looked up from her speech.
"Alright, I give up. I'll wait for you inside." Eli declared before he stepped out of the bus.
"You ready?" Peter turned towards her.
"I hope so. I still can't believe I really agreed to run for State's attorney." she smiled at him as she stood up.
"It was the right decision, Alicia. And you'll do fine. I know it." he stood as well, reaching for her hands.
"I'm glad you're here for my first speech." she peered into his eyes.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." he smiled at her before he placed a kiss on her forehead. She put her head on his shoulder and felt his hands slide around her waist, pulling her closer. Alicia lifted her head, letting her hands travel up his arms around his neck, leaning in so their lips could meet for a tender kiss.
"Are you happy?" Peter asked once they'd broken the kiss, their foreheads touching.
"Yes, I am."