Chapter 18: Fiew fiew fiew!

A/N: I cannot estimate when the civil war started…9 million years (or vorns) seems too short, so I'm going to forget that idea! I watched the cartoon series and remembered, the war has been going on way before Megatron and Optimus Prime's time, and each faction has done the victory dance now and then, so its never really gonna end :P Transformers have it tough. Eh-heh, 6000 hits! Thank you very much for your support! AOOUUHHH!!! XD

-------

Oh. My. Primus. We're here! We're slagging here! Cybertron, con! WOO-HOOO!!!!!

…Oh wait, I went back last week to guard some energon shipments, ya-da, ya-da, ya-da…um.

…WHOO-HOOOOOO!!!! SCREAMER AND TC! YEAH! Finally! Con, its been too long, gotta say. I mean, the trip only takes like, what? A few human hour-…wait, hours or seconds, ah, slag that! Back on Cy-ber-trawun! Primus! Geez! 'Screamer had to get some stupid purple cape-thingy Megatron gave her and TC's all, 'Boo-hoo, I want 'Screamer, my creators don't love me-' yeah, whatever. Oh, wow. Wow. It's Megatron's special cape. Oh slag. I almost forgot. Oh con, no one's gonna touch her. But she put it away anyway, yeah…not now. No point being some obvious slagging target, y'know?

Slag! We haven't gone on a holiday like this for...one…two…fourteen bajillion vorns! Oh slag! This is the best, ever!!! 'Screamer mentioned that she wanted to see her creator, the old guzz-bag. I thought he disowned her or somethin' 'cause she wanted to join the army. Oh well. It's good, it's all good. TC…don't get ME started, him and his Autobot mommy and daddy issues. Sheesh, everyone's got creator issues. 'S nothing wrong bein' a con! Cons look out for each other, y'know? I think? …Well, we do anyway. 'Screamer and TC's like, brothers and sisters to me. Seriously, I love them. Okay, TC worries too much, and 'Screamer's a snobby bitch and she's getting really ticked off right now 'cause TC's walking too close to her. Slag, when she took that cape off, even I can see that dolt get happier all of a sudden. We all know you like her a LOT, con! The WHOLE Decepticon army knows! Even the turbo foxes know! Ah slag, I need a drink right now.

"Okay guys, let's get into the holiday routine." Starscream held up her arm with her communicator open and her wing mates followed suit.

"Holiday routine? Since when did our holidays have a rou-" Thundercracker chirped, and Starscream snapped back. "Shut up. Now, on my count Decepticons. Three…two…one!"

Lifting their index fingers, the trio happily disconnected all communication with Earth and the Decepticon army with the click of a button, and flipped their communicators shut. Skywarp could only smile wider. Clapping his hands, the purple seeker trotted ahead of the red and blue seeker, dancing out of the space bridge tower.

"No fleshies for a good week! No squishy noises under my feet! IIIIIIII am a happy happy con! Hap hap happy happy! Dee-doo-dee-doo fiew-fiew-fiew-!" The purple Decepticon sang his own lyrics to a broken tune, fully absorbed in a mood one might express if the war was over.

There he goes again, with his routine. Okay, fine, I admit it (to myself). We HAVE a holiday routine. 'Warp's gonna sing some weird song he made up when we were traveling through the space bridge (which was not very long). He's going to sing some random lines, then 'improvise' the rest of his song with some very bad scat, repeating the same tune over and over again. Then, he's going to say he's thirsty and we have to go-

"Dee-doo-dee-doo-! Hey cons, I'm thirsty. Let's go to-"

-The one bar that never ever closes. Not even if the civil war sank a thermonuclear bomb through its roof.

"-Coldshot's bar. The bar that never closes, the bar that never closes!"

The bar that never closes, through thunder storms and meteor showers, or Devastator-seized hail…Starscream's going to say we need to settle our aft's down.

"Well, I have luggage. Let's go back to my place and settle our-"

"-Aft's down."

"What was that TC?"

"Nothing, commander Starscream."

"Fine. We'll go to 'Screamer's place first to drop Megatron's looooove cloak, then we can go to Coldshot's."

Insert Skywarp's joke about Starscream's beautiful legs.

"TC, when she's overcharged, you grab her arms, so I can grab her hot legs-"

Starscream's gonna hit him with her hot legs and say something about 'Warp being too apparent-

"Skywarp, it's not advisable to make say your plans aloud, especially when it jeopardizes your failing HEALTH!"

Crunk.

"Aoooooowww!!! I was only jokin'!"

"Lay one wrong finger on me and I'll make sure the smelting pools have their way with you, you disgusting foot pervert."

…Starscream, you can't win with Megatron. If anything, he's going to find out about your plans, and get even with you. He might even be doing it right now, and you don't know it. I bet he is. Megatron doesn't care about anyone but himself. He's only with you to make himself happy, don't you know? He's done it so many times with other femme cons, even if they had no agenda against him.

…I wouldn't do that to you.

"Did you see that?" Skywarp quipped, pointing a finger at a stray antenna on a building. Thundercracker was slower to react, but the red seeker's optics shot a concentrated stare at its direction. Finding nothing to disturb their holiday, Starscream waved off Skywarp's paranoia and moseyed on, growing irritated at the time wasted on gazing idiotically at buildings and kicking purple seekers.

"We aren't the only Transformer's that fly the skies you dolt, so let's get moving," Starscream grumbled and they went on their way. She wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to whomever was watching them, that they (or she alone), 'didn't' notice its presence.

-------

"(D'you think she saw us?)" the Autobot cassette deck peeped his ears out from their hiding place.

"(Of course she saw us! The cat's eyes are sharp, man! And you're not exactly Mirage either.)" Jazz added to his comment.

"(What happened to him? I thought he'd be itching to come back for a bit?)" Blaster looked at the saboteur questioningly.

The saboteur looked pensive at Blaster before answering his question. "(Prime didn't want 'Raj to go AWOL on us if he came along, y'know? Plus, the bot's got Earthly duties…I was thinking of asking Prime at first, but after talking to 'Raj, the big boss looked pretty steamed.)"

"('Last time I saw the Ligier bot, he wasn't lookin' too good either. When I said 'ello, he just-)"

"('Disappeared?)"

"(Pretty much.)" Blaster shrugged. "(An' I don't think we're the only ones spying on that fine lady con, look!)"

Blaster cocked his head upward at the building a few blocks away, and Jazz's optics brightened behind his visors upon spotting the small Decepticon. Stoically perched out of sight from the Transformers below (save for the Jazz and Blaster), Laserbeak remained motionless, keeping its professional silence down to its motor systems. The condor skipped into flight when the espied seekers drifted away from its optics, and casually soared to find the next suitable post for its metallic feet.

"(Huh! What's bird breath doing here?)" Blaster cocked his head with the malignant sneer.

"(I thought you should know by now, man, you spend too much time in space. Megs and Star's an item!)"

"(Dyaaaaaaum………why am I not surprised?)"

"(Ah, it's obvious. An' Big Bird's here just to make sure the missus don't get in troubs.)"

"(Missus is trouble)."

"(C'mon, Miss Megatron's movin')". The saboteur's hand retreated into his arm to replace a grappling hook, and lassoed the nearest building. Transforming into a red and yellow boom box, the Porsche caught Blaster by the handle and prepared to swing them both across. "(If they really are on a holiday, there's nothing to worry 'bout too much. We can spend some time catchin' up with our peeps on Cybertron.)"

Blaster kept quiet in deep thought, coming to a conclusion when Jazz's feet found stable footing.

"(…I say we call 'em Megastar.)"

"(Screamertron.)"

"(Megascream….Why are we whisperin'? No one's around!)"

"…I dunno."

-------

I think its better that I wear the cloak now. Just a breem ago, some uncivilized grunt made a rather insipid pass at me. Does anyone not recognise the paintjob?! I am Starscream, second-in-command of the Decepticon army, elite aerial commander of the finest seekers Cybertron has to offer AND the War Academy's undisputed prodigy! I DEMAND the respect I deserve!Taught that lowlife a lesson all right. With a demotion from his rank and five demerits, the fool would dare not lay an optic sensor or wag that uncultured tongue at me! Punishment does not limit itself verbally of course, and I have Thundercracker and Skywarp to thank for beating some extra sense into him. I mean, I would have no problem doing it myself, but I don't need to scratch my paintjob over that piece of slag.

…Ho-hum, his legs fail him.

"You there! Pick up your 'comrade' and send him to the nearest medical bay. If he ceases to function, learn from his mistakes, and try not to forget."

Yes, yes, nod, nod. These sparklings know nothing. Beauty and intelligence rarely make a couple, but my presence has proved a point. Sadly, the majority of the pariah Transformers prefer to bask in their ignorance, so I wrap myself with the cloak, partially covering my body. No one is ignorant to the Decepticon colours of power and royalty.

"I thought you didn't want to wear it? So we're not going back to your place first?"

"Unfortunately for me, TC, men can't keep their optics and their cockpits shut, so its straight to Coldshot's."

"…Hee hee…cockpit…"

Oh, for Primus sake, can you stop sulking Thundercracker? If I wanted you see a face like that, I'd have brought Dirge and Dead End with me! …How eerie would it be if those two became a mini-gestalt. All we have to do is send 'Moperemocon' out on the battlefield with a megaphone, and the Decepticons would have won the war in astroseconds.

"Skywarp, the jokes over, you can stop laughing now."

"Hee hee…you said cockpit."

Yes, we all have cockpits, even me.

We continue on with our journey, my wing mates flanked by my sides like bodyguards. Ah, here it is…and he's refurbished the entrance. I'm surprised, the old coot has finally mended the sign, after nine million years. It's more inviting now, I must say. Friendly, even.

"Con…he actually fixed the sign…he…he-!"

"I know Coldshot's bar better than ANYONE on Cybertron! Five energon cubes for Skywarp, whoop whoop! Told ya' TC!"

"Slaggit!"

I swear, Skywarp must have some kind of psychic connection with this bar.

-------

A/N: I would really like Mirage to go…:'( Wrote too much for this chapter, so I had to split it up! Trying to get things movin'! X)