Chapter 3
It is easier said than done. Ever since Blair had taken the decision that she wanted the procedure done, she took the necessary precautions. Guided by the doctor appointed to her in LACUNA, little by little she emptied her life of Daniel Humphrey. She threw away pictures; she threw away memorabilia; and donated to old book stores the books in which Dan had scribbled something for her among their pages. Phrases like: "You and Me" in the very first page of Emma or quick ideas or topics he wanted to discuss with her when she finished reading a certain book were gone. As much at it pained her, she knew she had to do this, to forget him. Knowing he was out there and had no idea who she was, who they were and what they could be, hurt her very much.
There was just one thing, or rather, a collection of things that formed a one big thing that she could not get rid of. She knew she couldn't keep them but she knew she couldn't throw them away like it meant nothing. Perhaps they were her most valuable possession so she confided them to Serena; the letters Dan had written to her.
"You can freely read them, S. I would not care if you do, I will not even remember them."
"Blair, are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. It would be very confusing if I woke up knowing nothing and someday I'll find the letters. It just won't do. I want you to have them Serena, because I need to at least subconsciously know they are in good hands."
And with that she handed to Serena a wooden box where letters written in the span of 3 years and 8 months lay. Some were several pages long, some were short, and some were very short. (One-line letters, perhaps.) Along with them, and in the same wooden box, was a cubic zirconia tiara, the one Dan once gave her.
With that last act of detachment she is ready to go through the procedure. She knows that LACUNA handles how her relatives and friends are to be informed of her decision on erasing Dan. But she needs to explain her reasoning as well so she writes them all letters. To her mom, to Cyrus, to her dad, to Roman (even if they never were too close), to Serena, to Nate, to Dorota and yes, even to Chuck. The general contents of the letters, apart of an explanation of sorts, are a farewell. She knows, she really understands that she is just not going to remember Humphrey and when the procedure is done, she will fully know who each of this people are and what she had been through with them. But she writes the letters anyway.
She makes arrangements for Dorota to let the people that are going to erase her selected memory with ease and of course, if she can, as a favor, monitor her. Dorota insists that she should stop everything right now, it is not too late. But Blair just stops her with a sadden smile and tells her it is all for the best.
She goes to sleep knowing who Dan Humphrey is. She will wake up not knowing who Dan Humphrey is.
Everything in between of these two events, she doesn't know.
Ever since that mysterious woman visited him screaming at the top of her voice Dan is unsettled. Very unsettled; even more than before. The next day from the event he almost wishes for the girl to come back and give him some sort of information. To tell him something. He is sure that this woman and the emptiness he has been feeling are correlated. He just doesn't know how.
A few days passed without a sign from her. He visits Nate and Serena for their weekly dinner plans and he tells them about the strange encounter before getting distracted by a non consequential text by Jenny. This is why he doesn't notice the shared look Serena and Nate have. Or the nervous tick Serena has of tapping her foot which he knows so well and annoys him so much.
"Dude, I really think you should let this go. It is not good for your sanity to obsess over an event that has nothing to do with you. That woman obviously confused you for someone else." Nate tells him.
"I know, I know. But I just can't let it go. I have a feeling…"
"Dan, you should really listen to Nate and just forget about it. Maybe focus completely in your compilation of essays?" Serena interrupts him.
And with that, Dan feels overruled and a change of topic occurs. The night flows smoothly and he forgets about his worries. His two best friends are what he needs now, he assures himself. Yes, he really needs to let this nonsense go.