Chapter 7
Blair is seriously getting dizzy from all the memories she is reviving in one night. The Doctor told her when she asked him if there were risks in the procedure:
"Well, technically, the procedure itself is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss."
And for sure he was right, at the moment Blair had revived the whole month prior to her brake up with Dan and it was exhausting. All the long stares, the silences, the fights. Blair had lived them all and even when she knows what happens, she still feels… she doesn't know how to explain.
She currently finds herself at the loft's living room. Probably waiting for Dan to put on the movie he went looking for. [It's his turn to choose] When he walks in, he decides they'll watch La Strada.
"Dan, I feel bored. Let's do something else."
"What do you feel like doing?" He asks her while he cuddles with her in the loft's couch.
"You know, when I was little I always dreamt of getting married, and have a handsome husband. And that both of us would travel the world together in search of adventures. We would have been explorers and write everything in a journal, which of course would have eventually been published."
"You had a lot of ambition as a child."
"What did you dream of being when you were young?"
"Honestly?"
"Honestly." Blair said to him while she put her feet on his lap. She waited patiently, and when he failed to answer she pressured. "Oh, Come on Dan. I want to know."
"Honestly," Dan said, "I just wanted to be a cowboy. When I was five my mom used watch spaghetti westerns with me, and yeah, we ate spaghettis while watching those films. I though being a cowboy meant watching movies and eating lots of pasta. I wanted that life.
She smiles.
"Imagine going around, using an enormous hat and eating and eating. For me, that was it. And, the best part was, my mom used to tell me she was going to be my sidekick. So pretty much since I was five and until I was in third year, it was settled that I was going to be a cowboy."
She smiles even more because he looks so happy talking about his childhood. But she is cautious; he almost never talks about his mother.
"Dan… that seems like a perfectly capable dream. Maybe you could be a cowboy, it's never too late."
"And you can explore the world and write all about it in your journal. Hey, I'll even share with you some writing tips. Make sure you are writing something of purpose; not for nothing I am a bestselling author. "
"You like to pretend you're humble," she laughs, "But I'm into you Dan Humphrey; you have such an ego."
"Well now you know all my secrets."
"I love you, Dan."
"I know." Dan tells her. "And it makes me so happy."
"I love you." Blair tells him again.
"You know, that is why I am such a film buff. That is why I got into films in the first place."
"You lost me, why?"
"Because of my mom, because of Allison. She was the one that watched movies with me."
So much had she figured out about Dan's character in that moment. And now is gone, as the rest of her memories of him.
"For someone who claims to anyone that would listen that being an explorer was her childhood dream, you sure get lost quite easily."
"You are one to talk, you come from Brooklyn, you practically live in the country side and yet, here we are. In the middle of nowhere, almost freezing to death and with no food!"
"To be fair, we just ate," Dan looks at his watch, "Two hours ago. A homemade picnic, that by the way, I made myself. "
"Yeah, no time for your ego, Humphrey. I'm just saying that if we get lost permanently and have to live like savages, I hope you don't turn into cannibalism. I'm sure I read somewhere people from Brooklyn are the most likely to turn wild."
Dan just smiles. "And I'm pretty sure I already ate you a couple of times in the past."
Blair laughs at his implications, "Shut up Humphrey, and just get me out of here."
"Look, I'm just going to walk a bit further, see if I can finally find where we parked the car and get out of here as soon as possible."
"You go do that." Blair tells him, "I'll sit here waiting."
Dan was gone no more than ten minutes when Blair was getting quite scared. It was getting dark after all. She remembers what happens next.
Dan returns almost running, "Blair, come over here. Look what I found."
"The car?"
"No, Come on now."
"All right."
They walk for about five minutes when Dan shows her a little pond he found. Because it was freezing it was frozen.
"And?" Blair asks him.
"And, I thought it was nice. Let's go over there."
"What if it breaks?"
"Blair, you are an explorer," They both smile at each other, "Just think of it as an adventure. And if something goes wrong; heck, I am a self-proclaimed cowboy, I will save you."
"I hit the lottery with you, didn't I, Humphrey?"
"I'm sure we both are winners in some way, Waldorf."
They lie in the ice and don't talk for a long time; they just look at the already starry sky and look at each other.
"Have you ever loved just for the pleasure of loving?" Blair asks Dan.
Dan looks back at the sky for a moment, then at her.
"Blair, when I love you, it gives me pleasure. Loving you makes me happy. I feel complete. So I guess you can say that yes, I have loved for the sole pleasure of loving."
"I love you, Dan."
And she meant it. That was the first time Blair realized she and Dan could be forever.
Sorry for taking my long time updating, and for this being so short. Slowly going places.