Chapter 21: Good and bad ways to start the day

I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I was wondering why and then remembered the dreams that I had had. They had been filled with little pink piglets wearing black clothes. I had been myself in this dream, and every day I would go out to the shed behind my house and feed the piglets. Some of them would be really nice to me, coming close to the fence and wanting to be cuddled. But one was always sitting in the corner, back to the wall, looking angrily at me. For some reason I had given the piglets very familiar names, and piglet Lester and piglet Bobby had been real fond of the cuddling part, as had a piglet named Joe been. No surprises there… They were waiting for me every morning at the fence, ready to fed and watered. But piglet Ranger was the one in the back and never came up to the fence. There was also a big piglet, called Tank, who had looked like he was smiling all the time. One morning I had been cuddling piglet Joe and when I had put him back, piglet Ranger had attacked him. I had raced into the shed, grabbed piglet Joe and held him close to me while looking angrily at piglet Ranger.

"Bad boy!" I had shouted at piglet Ranger, who had sat down in the corner again. I then had looked at piglet Joe and I swear piglet Joe was smiling smugly at piglet Ranger. I had put piglet Ranger in a separate cage to prevent any further attacks, and it had quietly sat in the back for the rest of the day. The next morning I had fed the others again, and then had checked on piglet Ranger. For the first time he had been standing close to the fence and had looked at me with big eyes. I had fed it and carefully caressed it and it seemed to like it. But then when I had picked it up to cuddle close to me, he had bitten me in my finger. I had yelled at piglet Ranger again, and he had just sat there, looking at me.

I stretched and realised that the dream had given me some insight in what had been happening in the past few years. Ranger behaved towards others like I was 'his woman', but when I behaved like 'his woman', he would say something that would hurt me enough to back off again. But when I was interested in another man, Ranger would make sure he was keeping a real close eye on that person and would suddenly find a reason to give himself a prominent position in my life again. Until this other guy backed off. Then Ranger would back off as well, leaving me utterly clueless, frustrated and angry. And then he would just sit there, looking at me with eyes saying: you knew my lifestyle doesn't lend itself to relationships, so what did you expect? And I had backed off… Stupid me. Ranger was just a jealous pig! And boy, was he scared of commitment!

This last thought made me realise that for once I had found something that Ranger feared and I didn't. Commitment. The fearless ex-Special Forces guy was afraid of relationships… BIG TIME! I snorted out loud and then hopped out of bed. I had some calls to make… Maybe there was hope for me and Ranger after all.

Meanwhile in the Batcave…

I woke up because of some beeping noises that sounded vaguely familiar. I realised I had a giant headache, stiff neck and was chilled to the bone and when I started to move I realised I wasn't in my bed. I slowly sat up and looked around me. I was sitting behind my desk, where I apparently had fallen asleep. My laptop was still switched on, and documents were laying on the printer. I looked down at my desk, and saw the book that Aurelia had send me. It was open and I had been using it as a pillow. Slowly, it all came back to me.

After I had finished work around 11 pm, I had taken a quick shower and slipped under the covers. I had been reading for maybe 5 minutes when my phone rang. I cursed and answered it. It turned out to be an informant of mine, who had some interesting information about an FTA. He said he would send it to me a.s.a.p. so I had powered up my computer again and had continued reading behind my desk while keeping an eye on my email. The book had been really good, actually. The first chapter had been about the conditions that had to be met before there was even a possibility of a relationship.

If you're not interested in commitment, you can stop reading here because you do not really want a relationship. If you're not interesting in sharing yourself with someone, why do you want to be with someone? Let's face it, you just want sex then. But if you really want to find a partner to share your life with, someone that you can offer trust, support, friendship, love, joy and commitment, you should read on. This book will offer you practical insights as to why you have not yet achieved this, and gives you clear advice on how to build a relationship with the woman of your dreams.

Since I had already admitted to myself that I wanted a real relationship with Stephanie, and not just sex, I had read on. The first chapter had surprised me. I had expected a few insights into the female mind, but instead it had been very critical of men. It had listed male characteristics that made a relationship with a man very difficult, and I possessed every single one of them.

1. Independent

2. Suspicious

3. Secretive

4. Internalizes emotions

5. Overconfident

The last characteristic needs some explaining. Many men will do something and are unwilling to second guess themselves afterwards. Confidence might be very helpful in your job, but in a relationship it sure as hell isn't doing you any favours. You need to be willing to examine your actions and maybe come to the conclusion that you only thought about your side of things and therefore hurt your partner. That doesn't mean that you need to start convincing her or explaining your side of the story. IT MEANS YOU WILL NEED TO APOLOGIZE!

I was glad that my computer beeped at this point to let me know that I had received a new email. My confidence about ever building a successful relationship with my Babe had almost shrunk to zero. I checked out the information and it was really good. The informant had listed a few names of people related to my FTA, and I decided to run them through a few search machines while I read on. I hoped that I would somewhere in the book find a bit of positive information about my chances for a relationship.

After this, it gets a bit blurry. I remember getting a few search results and printing them and reading some more about how to overcome the five mentioned characteristics and still build a successful relationship. That the behaviour related to those characteristics was usually related to fear, jealousy or inexperience… I had immediately thought that my work made me behave like that, but the author clearly pointed out that I was not dealing with an employee in a work situation here, but with another person that I loved and wanted to build a relationship with.

I remember thinking about that. I know I'm a jealous man, I do NOT share and will make it known that nobody touches my woman without repercussions. But when I was with Steph, I still behaved like that. I protected her fiercely, even against her wishes or without discussing it with her. I helped her, but only to the extend that I felt confident with. Truthfully, I still treated her like an employee…

I felt myself getting desperate (or maybe really tired) and the last thing that I remembered reading was that I shouldn't despair, since the book would enlighten me completely… and then I must have fallen asleep. No wonder I woke up feeling like shit.

The beeping continued and it felt like each beep pierced through my skull. I got up and walked to my bed and hit the off button on my alarm. The red digits telling me it was 5.53 am were hurting my eyes. I automatically put on sweatpants and a t-shirt and began lacing my running shoes while sitting on the edge of the bed. It was dry, and the sun was shining, making me blink against the bright light. I hoped the run would clear my head, loosen my stiff muscles and most of all: get rid of this killing head ache. I drank a glass of fruit juice before leaving the house and started at an easy pace.

Soon I realised I forgot my sunglasses because I was squinting against the light. Damn. Then, about halfway I noticed a very dark cloud had replaced the bright sunlight and just as I was thinking I might be lucky and get back to the house before the rain, I felt a few drops. Right, I should have known today was going to be one of those days. Then a flash of light was followed by a loud thunder and a downpour began. Great. A thunderstorm, right above me. This meant I couldn't run my usual run because it took me across an open field and with my luck today I would probably get struck by lightning. Now I had to run a mile extra to avoid the open space. I felt water running down my neck, soaking my t-shirt and I shivered. Suddenly my stomach felt queasy and the next thing I knew I was throwing up the fruit juice. All I needed now was a dog to bite me and spraining an ankle and this day would be complete.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Chapter 22: Past, present, future

I hadn't expected Stephanie to call so soon, but I sure was glad that she did. She thanked me for the book, told me she had been reading in it and had found it very interesting. I told her I was glad that she liked the book, and that I hoped it would clear a few things up for her.

"Well, about that…" Stephanie said, leaving the words hanging in the air.

"About what?" I asked, very curious about what she wanted to know exactly.

"About clearing things up for me…" She still sounded hesitant.

"Yes?" I hoped she would find the nerve to ask me the questions she obviously wanted to ask. It was clear to me now that Ricardo wasn't having a clue about how to handle this, so all my hopes were on Stephanie.

"The book talks a lot about the fear of commitment. That many men have this fear because of their youth."

"Yes?" I had a vague idea about where this was going.

"Well, I always thought that… I mean, Ranger never said anything about… Uhm… I just… well… I had the impression that your parents actually had a really… good relationship…" Ah, now I understood. She had been thinking that Ricardo exhibited all the classic signs of commitment fear, but she wondered how he had gotten it because our parents were so happy together. Time for a serious talk. But I didn't want to do it on the phone. And I wanted to think about how much to tell her. I love Ricardo to bits, (did you really think I would go through all this trouble just because it gives me a buzz?? Okay, well maybe I like the buzz too, but don't forget I put my LIFE on the line here. This is Ricardo we're talking about!) and my gut instinct told me that I could trust Stephanie. But a lot of the information that I wanted to tell her was extremely private. It reminded everybody in the family of a time they really wanted to forget. So first I wanted to discuss this with my parents and brothers and sisters.

"I see what you mean," I said, quickly thinking about my options.

"Listen Stephanie, can you meet me for lunch? There's a small diner across from the hospital where I work. They have great food and we will be able to talk a bit more."

"Okay. I'll see you there."

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After we sat down and ordered coffee and a burger, Stephanie looked at me expectantly.

"There is a lot that people don't know about our family and Ricardo. I can't tell you about that now. But I think it is okay if you hear about some of it if you and Ricardo get together." I waited for Stephanie's response before continuing. She was clearly thinking about my words and then slowly nodded her head.

"Uhuh…" I could hear the curiosity in her voice, which I could completely understand. Ricardo is a man of mystery, people just KNOW that there is something in his past that made him behave like this. And here I am, pushing Stephanie to make a move on Ric and then I tell her there IS something in his past, and that I know about it, but that I am not telling her… yet anyway. Seriously, I would be bursting!

"Before I can tell you I need to talk to a few people. And I would like to ask you a favour…" Stephanie was looking eagerly at me, willing to do a lot to discover something about Ricardo. I was taking a big gamble here, but I had to.

"What kind of favour?" she asked, while taking a sip of her coffee.

"I would like you to read the whole book before we talk about Ricardo's past." I held my breath, waiting for her response.

"Why?" Stephanie sounded a bit suspicious and she looked like she was thinking about getting angry.

"I think it is a great book… uhm… very helpful… especially when you… uh… deal with guys like… uhm… Ricardo…" I hoped she wasn't offended. I was sort of implying that she wasn't able to deal with Ricardo now.

"Why…?" She sounded a bit more suspicious and her posture showed definite signs of anger now. Uhoh…

"Stephanie, please don't be offended. It's just that I have the impression that you're an… eh… impulsive woman. I like that, it is refreshing and I think it is one of the things that Ricardo finds very attractive in you." I quickly looked at her, and was relieved to see that she seemed to have made the decision to wait until after my explanation to get angry. So I carried on.

"What I mean is that Ricardo is very uhm… un-impulsive. And has some… GREAT (rolling my eyes here) difficulty with showing his emotions. When I'm going to tell you about his past, and explain to you why he is so afraid of commitment and emotions, I think it will help you to have read the book… you know,… to understand him." I looked at Stephanie, hoping she could see the seriousness in my eyes. After a while she slowly nodded.

"You see, I'm afraid that… it would be possible that Ric would… Well… Ricardo will NOT like it that we tell you these things…"

"We?"

"Before I tell you I will talk with my parents and family, ask them if they think it is okay too. Probably a few will be there when I tell you…," I explained to Stephanie. I could see realisation dawn in her eyes. Stephanie was beginning to understand how serious this information might be.

"Oh… I see."

"Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I'm not sure how Ric will respond when he finds out. And I think that the book will give you some information that will help you deal with him when he finds out. Understand him better…" Stephanie slowly nodded, thinking over the information that I had given her so far.

"I wouldn't want you guys to split up before it really started, because of an impulsive action or comment that might be misunderstood…" I said softly. Stephanie's eyes widened in shock.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Stephanie, underneath Ricardo's scary mask is a very vulnerable man. He hates that, and so far his response to that fact has been to distance himself from anybody who might be able to make him feel vulnerable. Giving you information about his past would put you in that category. Now, I think that in your case he will, …in the end…, see that it will help… is even necessary for the relationship between you two. But if you say the wrong thing at the moment he finds out, he might do something emotional…, impulsive… and definite… to make sure you keep your distance in the future. It's his second nature. He does love you, I'm sure of that. But like the book said: he is scared shitless and will rather behave like a pig and scare you off than face his fears. It will take time for him to overcome that. That's why I'm asking you to read the book before we continue this conversation."

The waitress arrived at that moment at our table with the burgers, giving Stephanie time to absorb the information that I'd given her and think about it. After the waitress left, she was quiet for a few minutes, munching on her burger, clearly lost in thought. I could see several emotions on her face: doubt, curiosity, fear and love. Suddenly she looked up.

"Okay, I'll read the book before we continue this conversation."

Chapter 23: Life sucks!

I kicked the front door shut behind me and limped to the bathroom, leaving a trail of water on the floor behind me. I knew I shouldn't have thought about dogs and ankles! Instead I should've kept my eyes on the road, so I would've seen that hole instead of running right into it,… and falling flat on my face. I was now covered in mud, had a bruise on my knee and arm and indeed… a sprained ankle. Fabulous. I was soaking wet, cold and the headache had only increased.

I opened the taps and peeled my cold, wet and dirty clothes off and stepped in the shower.

WHAT THE HELL?! The water was freezing! It should've been hot by now. I started to close the cold water tap, but nothing happened. The water from the hot tap remained cold. I couldn't believe this! My boiler was only a few years old and should never run out of hot water, but what do you call this? I screamed in frustration, but that didn't change anything, the water remained cold. I thought about my options, and realised that if I wanted a shower, it had to a cold one. And since I was covered in a mixture of mud, sweat and rain, I really should take that shower. Needless to say, I took a really short one…

I turned the heating on high while driving to work, since I was still shivering. Do I need to tell you about me feeling sick to my stomach since I forgot to buy a new packet of granola yesterday and that the yoghurt had turned green because I had forgotten I opened it 6 days ago as I found out this morning when I took a sip straight from the carton, which I then spit all over my kitchen because of the taste and had to consequently clean up? Didn't think so… But it will explain to you why I'm currently not very hungry, still tasting the awful taste… I normally never throw up, but these past few weeks... First I throw up in my parents place, and now twice this morning.

And do I need to explain to you that I came dangerously close to my breaking point when my Turbo got damaged because some IDIOT couldn't tie down the pieces of scrap metal he was transporting, so one fell off when he had to brake for another car, right on the hood of my baby, bouncing twice while leaving dents and then sliding down the side, making scratch marks all the way down? No, didn't think so either.

Right now I was sitting in my Turbo in the parking garage, trying to calm down and find the courage to go up to the office. My knee, ankle and arm were throbbing by now and all I wanted was to go straight to the seventh floor, have a hot shower, some breakfast and climb into the freshly made bed, not to wake up until tomorrow. But duty was calling… literally, because my phone rang, the sound hurting my ears and making me cringe.

"Yo."

"Yo, Ranger. You coming up?" Tank. And I could hear he was laughing.

"Fuck off," I said and hung up. I slowly got out and limped over to the front of the car, to survey the damage from the scrap metal piece that bounced off. The driver hadn't even noticed it, so he didn't stop. But I had his license plate, so he'd be hearing from me soon. Unfortunately, that knowledge did nothing to lessen my anger right now. The damage was serious and I would probably have to leave the car at Al's for a few days at least. Damn it!

I slowly made my way to the elevator and pushed the button for the 5th floor. The elevator started to move up, then made some squeaky noises and shuddered before stopping completely. What the hell? You've GOT to be FUCKING kidding me! I started to push buttons randomly, pointed my key fob at it, but the only result I got was the lights going off, so the elevator was now pitch black. I kicked the side panel, momentarily forgetting that I had sprained that ankle and injured that knee, so next I was hopping again, cursing some more when my phone rang. I didn't even need to check caller id to know that it was Tank.

"Don't… say… a… word" I warned him.

"You okay, man?" I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was still snickering.

"Just get me out of here."

"I'll see what I can do." And Tank hung up.

Nothing had happened for about 5 minutes, and I was about to call Tank again, when my phone rang. No need to tell you that I'm low on patience this morning, which explained my harsh words.

"What's taking you so long?"

"Elevator company said it might take them a while before they can get to you. They're busy." Of course, I would probably be stuck here all day. If I didn't die in some freak elevator accident where all the cables break and emergency brakes mysteriously refuse before they arrive, that is… I threw my arm up in frustration and hit it on something since I couldn't see shit in the dark space and my restrain broke for a moment.

"I don't give a fuck about them being busy! GET ME OUT… NOW!" I yelled, which is something I rarely do and actually never at Tank. I value my life too much.

"And how're we supposed to do that, Ranger? You know that that elevator is secure." Tank's voice was sounding cool, infuriating me even more.

"You're a smart guy, you'll think of something," I said, rather sarcastically.

"I think I'll just let you cool off for a while," Tank said calmly and hung up.

Chapter 24

I'm very proud to tell you that this chapter is co-written with Vera Steine, the queen of mean! You go, girl!

I can't fucking believe this! Here I am, stuck in my own damn, dark elevator and Tank has the guts to hang up on me. He's so gonna pay when I get out! Next time I see him, I'm gonna… Hang on… see him… SEE him! The camera! That bastard is watching me! I looked up at the camera in the corner and yelled.

"Tank, you're so dead, man!" I realised belatedly that they were probably having a good laugh at my expense up in the control room right now. I know I would, if Tank was in my position. Damn this piece of shit equipment! I gave it a good kick with my uninjured left leg, congratulating myself that I hadn't forgotten about my injured right ankle and knee. That lasted right about one second, until I felt the sharp pain in my toe, which had me hopping. Damnit! I angrily glanced up at the camera, thinking I'm giving them another good laugh today. Well, I'd make sure it is the last one, believe me!

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Finally! Tank just called me that the mechanic from the elevator company has arrived at last. It took them 40 fucking minutes just to arrive! I can hear them on the other side of the door, but no improvement yet. After another 5 agonizing minutes, the doors started groaning and slowly opened a crack. An unfamiliar face greeted me as I blinked against the bright light that shone in. Damn, my head ache was still as bad as this morning, if not worse. The guy reached for me through the small opening and said, "See if you fit through."

I ignored his hand as I pushed myself sideways through the crack, while the mechanic held the doors open. When I was almost completely out, I turned to Tank to tell him what I thought his little stunt earlier, when I felt the elevator doors slam shut... WITH MY ARM STILL BETWEEN 'EM! Is there ANYTHING that won't go wrong today? Tank quickly pushed the doors open, allowing me to pull my bruised arm free while the mechanic looked on sheepishly. He shrugged, "Sorry."

I glared at him, but walked away before I gave in to the temptation to kick his sorry ass. I could hear Tank following me, and without looking at him I said, "Wipe that smirk of your face." There was a brief pause in his step, then Tank resumed walking and said casually, "Having a bad day, Rangeman?"

"You don't wanna know," I replied, and walked into the control room, where everyone hastily returned to their duties.

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Fucking hell! It's a good thing I scrambled the cameras on the shooting range, 'cos Tank would be laughing his ass off if he saw me. I can't even hit a stationary target anymore. I was trying to vent my frustration here, since I had already given up on getting rid off the headache or the stiff neck or anything else that's wrong with me today. But I should have realized, nothing is going to go right today. I decided on one last clip.

I slid it into the gun, pressed the slide catch, adjusted my stance and made a conscious effort to relax my shoulders. I took steady aim and pressed the trigger again. To my satisfaction, a small hole appeared in the target, dead centre. Little did I know that this would be the last thing today to go right.

As I aimed to fire the second round, someone bumped my shoulder. Reflexively, my finger pulled the trigger while my body was propelled forward. The gun performed flawlessly, ejecting the spent casing on the side, hitting me square in the right eye. As I started to swear at the stinging pain, a voice said disinterestedly, "Hey, man, they said I needed to talk to you? I finished fixing your elevator, I need you to sign the bill…"

He trailed off as I turned to glare at him. He stupidly held out a clipboard and pen to me, and I grabbed it, scribbling a signature. The guy scrambled away quickly, while I was left with yet another injury. I gingerly felt around my eye and realised that it would probably turn a lovely shade of black if I didn't put some ice on it soon. Since the target practise wasn't going anywhere anyway, I decided to go up to the 5th floor again and look for some ice in the freezer in the kitchen.

I was rummaging around the freezer looking for some ice, which I of course couldn't find, when I saw from the corner of my eye that Vince and Hal were standing together at the copier, apparently doing nothing. I don't pay them this kind of salary to stand around doing nothing, so I walked up to them and said, "What's going on? Since when does it take two guys in this company to press the button on the copy machine?" Hal looked at me in apparent confusion, his glance straying involuntarily to my right eye. Great, it was already starting to show. Vince looked straight at me and said, "The damn thing is bust."

"Bust?' I replied, "What do you mean, bust?"

"Well," Vince said in a slightly long suffering voice, "It doesn't work." I glared at him.

"The toner cartridge is stuck," Vince quickly elaborated.

"Yeah, so? Do I have to do everything around here myself?" I crouched down and looked inside the copy machine. I could see the long black cartridge had been put in upside down, no doubt Hal's brilliant work, so I reached out to correct it. It was wedged in tight, and so I pulled myself further into the machine to get a good grip on it. I yanked on it hard, but it still wouldn't give. Finally, I braced myself and pulled. Something snapped, the cartridge came loose and I banged my head against the inside of the copier. As I opened my mouth to swear, something warm squirted out of the cartridge and splashed all over me. I swore under my breath in Spanish, crawled out of the copier and dumped the cartridge into Hal's surprised hands.

"There," I said, "At least SOME of us around here know what they're doing." I turned and retreated with the last of my dignity, hoping to God that this ink would come off me.

Stephanie POV

I switched off my phone and settled myself on the couch with the book. I didn't want to get disturbed, since I wanted to finish this book as soon as I could. Aurelia had made me really curious about Ranger's past, and since I was only going to hear about it if I read the book, I was reading that book! And if I learned a few tricks along the way on how to deal with Ranger, well, that was just a very nice bonus then. The second chapter talked about what kind of incidents might provoke 'pig' behaviour in a man.

When a man gets the idea that a woman wants to depend on him when he is just having a good time, he will back off. Especially young men often do not have that clear wish to 'settle down,' or have children. It simply isn't something that they often think about in that age, or they are thinking it will tie them down in a negative way. When a man avoids the topic of marriage/children it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't value the relationship in the same way as you do, but it will mean that they aren't thinking about that yet, and most likely therefore aren't ready for it. If you push the subject, you will most likely end up with a fight or even a break up. I'm not telling you to lie about your wish for things like children or marriage, but accept it if your partner isn't ready for it yet. Give him some time to get used to the idea. Drop a few hints, then leave the subject alone for a while, giving him time to think it over and then… who knows. He might surprise you one day!

Also, some men might in the end never want the wedding, marriage and 2 kids thing. Once again, doesn't mean he doesn't value the relationship! But you can't get angry about that! Just like you have the right to want those things, he has the right to not want them. If this is the case, you need to make a decision for yourself. If you REALLY want kids, for instance, and he REALLY doesn't, you are left with two options. Either you accept his wish, or you have to break up. You can't argue about something that is so fundamentally based upon emotions and feelings. It isn't wrong to (not) want children. Talk about why you (don't) want children, and respect each other's position. If it something that you can't overcome together, you can't blame each other for that, but it does mean you will have to make a decision about it.

I thought about this, and realised that Ranger did the same thing. Every time we got closer, like after we slept together as part of the De Cooch deal or during the kidnapping of his daughter, and I would push him on the subject of commitment in the form of marriage, he would back off. Why, really? There was no doubt in my mind that Ranger would be loyal to me. He had made it clear already that once he got involved with me, it would be serious. And he had never lied about what would and wouldn't be possible when I would want to get involved with him. His work was important and took up a lot of his time. Despite that, he had always been there for me when I needed him. I realised that he was actually the first man in my life that never lied to me when it came to this subject. Dickie had lied all the time, and Morelli had sometimes been sparse with the truth if that was convenient. Ranger had always been honest, almost blunt.

When I had all this knowledge already about Ranger, was it really that important to me to get a ring? Wouldn't that ring than only be for my mother? My family? The Burg?

I got up to get myself something to drink before I started on chapter 3.

Chapter 25

Huge thanks again to Vera Steine for coming up with some of the little disasters that make Ranger's day the day from hell!

I looked at my hands. They still had large, dark grey smudges on them from the ink that came out of the cartridge. I had been scrubbing like hell, but it hadn't made much of a difference. I was standing in the men's room, leaning on the counter with my face down, taking a few deep breaths before I had to admit yet another defeat today. I looked at myself in the mirror, noting the black circle and swelling underneath my right eye from the bullet casing, when I suddenly spotted a black spot on my face right beneath my left eye. It had the shape of a tear and when I looked at it in the mirror, I realized it was another drop of ink. Right. I grabbed some paper towels and started scrubbing at it, but since the ink had dried completely I had no success whatsoever. Great. I had an important business meeting in 45 minutes and I would have to go there, hands smudged with dark grey ink, limping, with a black eye and bruised arm and a black tear of ink on my face. And looking like that I had to sell a contract…

Suddenly my phone buzzed and I was so eager for the distraction that I forgot to check caller ID…

"Yo."

"Ricardo, what a way to answer a phone." Aurelia… And she was laughing.

"Aurelia, what do you want?" I had no patience left.

"How are you?"

"Fine."

"Have you read the book yet?"

"What?!" Did she really think I would so much as hint at that book towards her ever again? Yeah, I was reading it, but no, NOBODY would have to know about the fact that Ricardo Carlos Manoso had resorted to self-help books because he was desperate for a relationship with the Bombshell bounty hunter.

"It's a good book, isn't it?" Aurelia was fearless, I should've known it.

"I don't have time for this." I was about to hang up when I heard Aurelia scream.

"No, wait!"

"What?" I growled.

"I was just calling to ask you if you already asked Stephanie to accompany you to the family reunion." Fuck, the family reunion. Damn it, I had completely forgotten about it. And of course my darling sister has to remind me of the reunion today, of all days.

"I don't know if I have the time to go this year." It was my standard answer, and so would be Aurelia's reply.

"Ricardo! You know mother wants you to be there. You can't just stay away…" She trailed off, letting the guilt speak for itself. She was good with the guilt, and she was merciless in using it.

"Look, I don't know yet. I have to go now." This time I really did hang up, too afraid of what she might ask next. I hadn't asked Stephanie because I had no idea how she felt about me right now. Things hadn't exactly been smooth between us since she slept here during the time she had the flu. And I would only bring her if we were together, because everybody else would assume that anyway and she and I would be bombarded with questions. I sighed and allowed my mind to drift for a moment. It would be nice to show up with Stephanie by my side, dressed in one of her pretty outfits… All the men in the family will be jealous when they see her, her beautiful curls long and shiny, her body sensual and gracious, her face…

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

What NOW?! I have ONE good thought today, and I have that interrupted by my phone. I grabbed my phone again and looked at the display. Oh yeah, that's right. I had programmed a reminder for the time I had to leave to go to meeting with the prospective client. I silenced my phone and splashed some water on my face. My head ache hadn't subsided at all, and I could really do with some coffee, but if I didn't leave now I'd be late and that usually doesn't help the business side of things.

I walked back to the control room to let Tank know that I was leaving, when the man himself opened the door and walked out, …with a big cup of coffee in his hands. Ah, now we're talking.

"I'm leaving. I will be back around 2, maybe 2.30." Tank slowly nodded, his eyes studying my face and probably wondering if he should offer to go in my place.

"And let me take that off your hands," I said as I grabbed his coffee and immediately walked through the door into the stairwell to prevent Tank from coming after me. I ran down the stairs, into the garage and unlocked the Bronco since I couldn't show up in my scratched and dented Porsche. I jumped in the car and took a large sip of the coffee… which I immediately spit out again in a reflex, spraying it all over the car. Not only was the coffee scalding hot, it also contained about a kilo of sugar and a liter of creamer.

"Fuck!" I couldn't help the word coming out of my mouth while I let my head sag against the steering wheel for a moment. The only good thing was that I was wearing a black shirt, so you didn't see any of the coffee stains. I couldn't find any tissues to blot up the drops all around the car and I soon gave up. I quickly put the coffee in the cup holder and started the car.

While I sped out of the garage I realized that Tank probably had been watching the security camera to see my face when I took a sip of his coffee and was probably laughing his ass off… again.

Stephanie POV

I sipped my cup of coffee while starting on the next chapter. Let's see, this chapter was about the, sometimes very close, relationship between son and mother. Hhhmm, I didn't think that there were any problems like that between Ranger and his mother. His parents loved him, that much had been obvious during my short visit, but I didn't have the impression that his mother had problems letting him go. So I skipped that chapter and went on to the next. "What to do when he is behaving like a pig?"

Now this was something that I wanted to know about. More than once Ranger had left me standing with my mouth hanging open because he had made some smartass remark and then walked away, basically avoiding the issue and making me feel like a fool. Let's see what the writer had to say about that!

Basically, by behaving like a pig men will try get away from discussing a subject that they don't feel comfortable discussing. Feelings are always a good one, or something that they think might endanger their independence or freedom. Financial subjects are usually a good bet as well. By saying something hurtful or harsh, they will most likely have a fight on their hands, but the real subject will not be resolved. Because let's face it, ladies, when you ask him when he's free to discuss a loan at the bank and he says something insulting like 'You're a woman, you don't need to think about the financial side of things', you will most likely respond with something like 'And what's that suppose to mean?' and then you guys will fight about whether or not you are able to understand the finances, in stead of the bank appointment. So how to deal with this?

The first step is also the most important one: realize it is happening! Be aware of this kind of behavior and don't let it get to you. Stay calm and keep your goal or subject in mind. Don't accept any flippant answers, simply ignore them and return to the subject at hand. Don't allow him to walk away from you, simply follow him (calmly!) and keep asking your questions. Also, describe what you see happening. 'Why are you so unwilling to discuss this subject?', 'Why are you getting angry?' or 'This is important to me, I would really like to discuss this with you. If you're too busy now, when would be a good time?'. Don't allow him to get away with easy answers like 'I'll look at it later' (ask him when!) or 'I don't think it is important' (you do think so, and that is reason enough).

Secondly, try to find out why he is so unwilling to discuss the subject with you. Maybe he really doesn't care. That is not necessarily a bad thing, just tell him what you've decided then and let it be. You never will have exactly the same interests. Maybe he has something else on his mind and you simply caught him at the wrong moment. Ask him when would be a good time and then let it rest until that agreed time. However, more often then not it is related to other things. Either he doesn't want you to gain knowledge about something because it will make him feel less 'manly' or he doesn't have a clue about the subject and he doesn't want you to know that. Basically: his position and ego are at stake. Back to the example of discussing a loan at the bank, he might feel he should be the one discussing this on his own with the bank manager, because as a man he will take care of the financial side of things or he realizes that he has no idea about the possibilities for a loan right now and he doesn't want you to think he isn't able to discuss this or provide for the family financially. He doesn't want to look helpless or stupid.

Now there are a few options. If you are happy with him taking care of, for example, the finances, than you can tell him that and leave it at that. If you don't agree with it, you will have to tell him that as well. Be prepared to discuss the underlying consequences. If he doesn't want you as an equal partner for certain topics, you need to know that and think about whether or not that is acceptable to you. You need to make sure that you both at the end of the day know what is expected of the other. If you both agree that he is solely responsible for the finances, you both need to know what that means. Can he take out a loan without consulting you? Can he invest in the stock market without discussing the risks with you? Can he use your salary as well, or do you want to keep that separate? Talk about this!

Last but not least there is one MAJOR point left. Do NOT allow him to be disrespectful towards you! If he feels that he should be responsible for something, that is fine. But that shouldn't imply that you couldn't do it. Do not allow yourself to be shoved aside. Make sure it is your choice to step aside in certain areas, just as you might ask him to step aside and take your lead in other areas.

Luckily Ranger had always supported me. Although, he had on occasion moved me aside but that usually was with good reason. It usually involved me ignoring some advice and stumbling into something and Ranger rescuing me and asking me again and me ignoring it… again and well… Although, Ranger wasn't good with the 'asking' part. He usually instructed people, me included. Something to keep in mind, because if he thought he could 'instruct' me in a relationship, he had another thing coming!