Me: So I checked the story for this and when I saw the reviews and favorites I got for one chapter, I was so shocked. I was about to cry happy tears because people actually reviewed! It was only the first chapter too. I LOVE YOU GAIS. *snot shoots everywhere with tears being wiped on Gokudera's sleeves*
Gokudera: EW. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.
Me: I'M SORRY, I'M JUST SO HAPPY.
Gokudera: SO? WIPE YOUR SNOT ON BASEBALL IDIOT!
Yamamoto: ^_^ Please don't.
Me: Yamamoto. DISCLAIMER.
Yamamoto: No.
Me: D:
Yamamoto: I'm mad that you never wrote a fanfic for me. Instead you write another one for
Hibari-san. :(
Me: But you're so easily friend-zoned...BESIDES WALLXYAMAMOTO.
Yamamoto: Oh yeah! :D Okie! Katekyo Hitman Reborn belongs to Amano Akira and the idea Ranma 1/2 was borrowed by Rumiko Takahashi and Yanase (also The Fool Arcana) gave her the idea.
Me: PEOPLE, PLEASE READ THE FRIGGIN AUTHOR'S NOTE EVEN IF IT'S SHIT. I DID CREDIT THE IDEAS TO THE PEOPLE. NOT STEAL IT.
Gokudera: Che! Fucking copy cat! No original ideas of your own eh?
Me: -_- I have ideas of my own. I just wanted to try out this girl-boy-cold-water shenanigan. It's fun by the way. Everyone should try writing it. :D
Chapter Two
It was a dreadfully boring day in Namimori for a certain Chinese person. Yue was lazing around on the dirty floor in her house—sighing and rolling around in the dump she lived in. The unclothed female didn't know what she was doing with her life on a Sunday morning. Oh right, she was waiting for the Sailor Moon re-run to come on TV. "Dang it, I'm so bored," she moaned. Her stomach growled. "And I'm hungry! Gotta feed myself before I my stomach will turn inside out and try eating me." Getting on her knees, she crawled around the living room's sofa and into the tiny kitchen, scrambling for any type of food in particular. "Damn it, I ran out. I don't even get allowances till next week."
The doorbell rang.
Yue blinked, glanced around the dirty house, before blinking again. "Shiieeet!" Jumping up, she scrambled around the house for baggy clothes before dumping cold water on herself. Yue, now male, hopped over to the doorway and swung it open. "Hello! Please tell me you have food or I will bite your hands off and cook it. I'm warning you, I'm not afraid to try cannibalism."
"Ciaossu." Where the heck did that come from?...Oh. Yue looked downwards to see a pimped out baby with sideburns. Maybe it was just him, but Yue had a bad feeling coming from this little kid.
"Hi...Midget," Yue greeted hesitantly. The baby had kicked him in the ankle. "OWWWW!"
"Humph. Looks like Fon didn't teach you how to respect your elders, " he stated clearly, his beady black eyes boring into Yue's teary gold ones. He pushed Yue aside and stepped into the small house, disgusted by the mess. "Nor did he teach you how to be clean." He eyed the boxers laying in a corner and empty bowls of ramen sitting on the table. "You live like a mutt."
Ignoring the rude comments he dropped snidely, Yue shut the door and whipped his head towards the stranger. "Who are you, and what do you want from me? More importantly, why did I even let you come inside my house? Something like this never happens in real life. Or does it? Hmmm."
"I'm Reborn. You delivered a package to Tsuna for me," Reborn said steadily, treading around the living room steadily. His eyes trailed upwards to the ceiling and caught sight of a large bucket with steam coming out. Ah, there's the wire. If I can get her to stand there before I cut it, she'll definitely be in her true form.
Yue furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, what does that have to do with me? It's from Master. I just delivered it for him because I get paid." His stomach let out an atrocious howl. Reborn chortled. Yue's head dropped down in shame. "I don't get paid well enough unfortunately, but I do get paid." Although Master Fon had actually told her he gave her a lot of money, and called her a pig as politely as he could.
"If you become guardian of the Moon for the Vongola famiglia, we'll feed you for free, " Reborn said, slowly reaching for a tiny knife in his back pocket.
"Uhh...but there's no Moon guardian. I mean, there probably was in an alternative universe that multiple writers created to be unique and special, but still."
"There hasn't been a Moon guardian created in this universe yet."
"Oh my gosh..." Yue felt his heart beating against his chest and he threw his hands in the air. "I KNEW IT. I KNEW MY NAME HAD SOME SORT OF RELEVANCE TO THE STORY AFTER ALL! IT'S NOT JUST BECAUSE IT WAS SHORT AND EASY TO REMEMBER FOR A CHINESE PERSON." He started jumping up and down excitedly, flailing his arms-oblivious to the hitman's actions. "I'M THE MOON GUARDIAN. Or should I say, the Yue guardian."
Reborn merely flicked a lint off his Italian made suit. "I was testing to see how stupid you are."
"Did I pass?"
"No. You failed. Clearly, you're as dumb as a rock."
His mood suddenly dropped. "Does that mean I'm not going to be fed?" Reborn sighed and threw the knife, cutting the wire efficiently. The bucket tipped over and poured hot water down. Yue screeched, slipped on the sweater near his foot, and fell with the steaming liquid pouring down on his face. A feminine scream was released. "HOLY DAMN THAT'S HOT."
Reborn smirked. "You shouldn't be leaving things around that can give away your true identity easily, Xin Yue."
"You knew?!" Yue gasped, mouth dropped open.
"I looked up your background involved in the mafia. Every little detail from when you were born is in your file. You were born to a poor family in Beijing, China. Then you decided to take martial arts from Fon because you were inspired by Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. During that time span, you somehow wounded up with a curse that manages to turn you into a male when splashed with cold water."
"Yeah! Well you forgot the part where I joined the mafia because they supplied free food!"
"Hn. What is your reason for quitting the mafia when you still could have been fed and clothed even more so compared to now?"
Without thinking, Yue readily answered, "Because I met this bastard from the Varia. He had taken my money, stolen my food, called me a peasant, before running off. Honestly, I thought he was twerking away with a tiara on his head, but whatever. When I tried to report him, they told me to leave it be due to the fact that he was higher ranking than me. IT WAS SO UNFAIR!"
"So you quit the mafia because of one person?"
"YEAH! BUT THE MAFIA WERE BEING UNFAIR TO ME."
"You are a true idiot," Reborn noted, taking account of all the things she told him. "You also need to take note on who to trust with all of your information. For all you know, I could have been an enemy ready to assassinate you."
"Oh..." Yue rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Are you?"
"No."
"Problem solved!"
She would be a terrible addition the Vongola famiglia, but I see a potential in her. She's an idiot and a very irrational person. According to Fon, if I play my cards right, she could be very loyal to Tsuna and would make a huge impact on the Vongola in terms of strength. The big problem is her gluttony controls majority of her feelings and actions too easily. That could be a problem. Reborn debated whether or not Yue was worth the trouble to add her to the famiglia.
Yue stepped on a roach crawling on the floor and dug in her nose for boogers. "So did you need anything from me?"
"Nothing in particular. Fon told me to check up on your living conditions and see if you were okay," He lied.
"I'm doing great!" Yue exclaimed.
"Clearly," Reborn stated, deadpanned.
"Sooo...Do you have any food?"
Oh boy. This was going to be a hard decision.
"Err...Reborn, why is Xin-san eating here for dinner?" Tsuna asked hesitantly, watching the Chinese boy shovel a bowl of rice down his throat hurriedly without choking. Was he even breathing with so much food going in his body? Tsuna wondered with curiosity, picking at his food slowly. At least he didn't eat everyone else's proportions. Yet.
"He had no more food at his house, he's poor, and hungry. Did you expect me to leave him to starve?" Tsuna honestly wanted to say yes because he knew Reborn would if he didn't have some form of ulterior motive up his ass. Deciding to be smart this time, Tsuna did not comment about it.
The hitman looked at Yue. "Do you plan to rejoin the mafia anytime soon after our deal finishes?"
Yue swallowed the last fried shrimp and wiped his mouth. "I don't think so. I decided I want to become an electrical engineer. I might get paid more and I won't have to deal with killing people or putting them in the hospital."
"That sounds like a great plan," Tsuna commented, smiling. Wow, he's so smart to get out of the mafia while he can.
"It would be. If you weren't such a damn fool."
"What are you talking about?" Yue asked; he was more curious than offended.
"Your grades are terrible and you have the worst disciplinary records in the school. There is absolutely no way you'll even be able to get accepted into a university for engineering. At least with your brute strength and talent for getting the missions done quickly, you'll serve a great use to the mafia. You're a natural killer."
"You do have a good point, but it never hurts to give things a try. Like Obama Care back in America."
"Reborn! You can't talk about this type of stuff at the table!" Tsuna exclaimed.
"I don't see why not. Mama, has gone to finish the laundry. Lambo's a kid who never listens, I-pin only understands Chinese, and Bianchi already knows about her background."
"Her?" Tsuna paused. "Xin-san's a boy."
"I make no mistakes. That person is a female." There was a gun click. "If you dare mention Yue's real gender to anyone else, even to your subordinates, I won't hesitate to punish you."
Tsuna tried to reason with the tutor, "B-but Xin-san has been going to school with us for almost a year! How can he possibly be a female when he uses the men's restroom and locker room without getting caught? Plus he gets beaten by Hibari-san a lot. Surely if he was a female, someone must have noticed his "true gender" by now."
"Actually..." Reborn picked up his tea and splashed it on the Chinese boy's face lackadaisically. Yue grinned awkwardly, and she brushed the now long strands of hair out of her face and behind her ears. "I am a girl. I promise you I got no ding-a-ling between my legs. Right now at least."
"What!" Tsuna panicked. "But how! How are you a girl when you were a boy just a few seconds ago! Is this all an illusion like Rokudo Mukuro?"
"Rokufaggotron Taekwondo? Noooo dude, you got it all wrong. This is real. Look, just touch my titties. It's not an illusion." Reborn smacked her with Leon in a shape of a hammer. Her face slammed into her bowl and smashed it to pieces. Blood trickled down her face, and she merely wiped it on her sleeves.
"HIIIIEE! ARE YOU OKAY?" The wounds were already beginning to seal up. Tsuna gasped. "W-What's going on!"
"It's fine. I have flames of the sun so I can heal myself, " Yue grinned. "That means if I break my hymen when I do the dirty deed, I can—oomph!" Reborn hit her again.
"Haaa? Sun flames?"
Yue's expression became blank and she stared at Reborn. "Faggot. You didn't even tell him what the flames are? How the hell is going to handle the ba—oomph! OH GAWD THAT'S MY BUTTBONE!" She tried shaking off the pain, wiping her teary eyes away. "I-It's nothing. Mommy will tell you when you're a little bit older."
"Hah?"
"Anyway, Reborn offered me a proposition that I just couldn't refuse." Oh geezus. Please not let it be something terrifying. "He said I could join your famiglia and eat as much as I want as long as I am loyal to you. Like dogs. Dogs are loyal. Not that I am a dog of course. I mean, I wanted to try it this one (or maybe five) time in China, but yeah. Definitely not a dog. Just like a dog. You get what I'm saying dawg?" This was the most terrible news Tsuna had received all month.
"N-No." Oh gosh, she rambled too much. How was Tsuna going to even put up with her at all without getting annoyed?
"There you have it Tsuna. Your new subordinate. Take care of her, and make sure not to give away her secrets."
"B-But how did she umm...well...become a she in the first place when Xin-san was a boy a couple of minutes ago?"
"I am also curious." Everyone looked at her.
Yue sighed. "It all began when I was eight..."
FLASHBACK
I remember I had recently became eight-years-old when Fon wanted to take all of his students to go the mountain to train, including me. It involved a spring of some sorts. A beautiful spring with many different ponds if you know what I mean. I suck at describing shit, so whatever. Well, we were climbing for hours and I was hot and sweaty, like those fat people that only work out for fifteen minutes for the first time. Naturally, when I had arrived and saw the water, I stripped off my clothes and just canon balled into one while whooping, "Poppeth thy pussy for a real nigga, Juliette."
Next thing I knew, when I resurfaced, I saw a bunch of shocked looks from Master Fon and my classmates. Something was unfamiliar was also hanging between my legs. I became a boy. Apparently, taking a dive in the pond to cool off myself was not a good idea because now I have no clue how to return to my female form permanently. The entire trip back home, everyone called me retarded because I didn't listen to Master talk about not touching the water for an hour. I just thought he was trying to hog it all for himself back then but damn. He didn't.
END FLASHBACK
"Which meant I was the only one to come back home from training with a curse since I didn't listen to Master's warnings for an hour," Yue sighed, acting as if her old memories were wonderful. She had a peaceful smile on her face. "My parents were so proud."
"You're stupid," Everyone at the table said.
"NUH UH."
Tsuna groaned. "Right. I'll be upstairs if you need me." He left the kitchen table after putting up his dishes. I-pin and Lambo followed him upstairs. Once Reborn and Yue were sure he was upstairs, she glanced at the baby.
"He honestly doesn't know the ring battle will be approaching soon?"
"Tsuna has no clue."
"And I'm supposed to be protecting the kids and girls when the battle starts and till it finishes?"
"If you want to be fed."
"Reborn, she doesn't have to take care of them. I can do it, " Bianchi offered. The poison cooking assassinator tried to be reasonable. "She seems unreliable, and we don't know if we can trust her. Her skills may have no use in protecting them compared to me."
"Bianchi, sometimes you are called out on missions to Italy. You may not always be there compared to her. She has no more involvement to the mafia compared to us and Fon, and she is currently living by herself here. She won't be busy. We can call her anytime if we wanted to. As long as she gets fed she'll be fine with it."
"Yeah, I don't know about you, but I'm still hungry." Reborn whacked her in the side of the head. He then pushed his half eaten meal towards the girl and she attacked it.
"Do you understand what I'm trying to say Bianchi?" She bit her lips but nodded reluctantly. "Good. Yue, once you're done eating, get out and go home."
"Aye aye captain hoe! I mean hooks!"
Reborn kicked her out the house.
The next day returned somewhat to normal because Yue had not acknowledged Tsuna or anyone else in fact. He was too busy getting in trouble. "Hibari-san, I honestly don't understand why I'm being forced to clean up the men's bathroom when I'm not the one that took a shit on the floor," Yue mumbled hesitantly, shying away under the prefect's glare. Why did Hibari have to be such a hot disciplinarian with a terrible attitude? He felt a cold chill run down his spine and hastily mopped the floors down with a monstrous chemical that just made the blue-tiled floors sparkle.
"You were the last one to be found in this restroom when it appeared, according to other people," Hibari snapped impishly. "If I were you, I would also watch your foul language."
"But Hibari-san, I didn't—!"
"You're testing my patience, Crossdresser."
Unwillingly, Yue closed his mouth and continued scrubbing the floors with pure annoyance. Slowly, he put the mop back into the bucket. "Done," he muttered angrily.
"Good. Now get out and don't do it again."
Yue tried holding in his tears; his eyes were on the ground, and he exited the bathroom calmly. Once he was far away, he looked out the school window and gazed at the setting sun. Shakily, Yue whispered to himself as hot tears trailed down his pale cheeks,
"I should have taken a shit on his desk."
Me: Okay, I know I'm getting into the plot too quickly, but I have the need to. You guys need to know where this arc is, her background, and why she does it. YES, she will be the typical, "OH EM GEE. SHE'S PART OF THE VONGOLA FAMIGLIA. HOW TYPICAL!" Whatever. I don't care. I needed to do it to make her fit into the story just a little bit. YES. There WILL be more humorous chapters coming up, and there will definitely be more Hibari moments. Just give it time. I'm sorry for the late update. I had to focus on learning how to drive to get my permits so I hope you guys understand.
Gokudera: Fuck you. Lazy asshole.
Me: But baby... T^T
Gokudera: No buts.
Me: AND THANK YOU FOR THE 21 REVIEWERS! I APPRECIATE IT. My heart just burst into flames out of happiness. Of course those who favorited and put it on story alerts made me blush too, but shoutout to all the reviewers! I love you guys! YAMAMOTO, HERE'S YOUR CUE!
Yamamoto: I'll make you guys sushi for reviews?
Me: That's too weak.
Yamamoto: You're right...I'll take off a clothing for a review.
Gokudera: Stripping for reviews? -_-
Me: That includes you too.
Gokudera: FUCK!
Me: Reviews are indeed appreciated along with naked hot anime boys.