Me: Ah yes. It feels good to be back and writing all over again. I was out shrimping and manage to get my groove on. Please enjoy this chapter.

Gokudera: Che. As if anyone will give constructive criticisms for this shitty story.

Me: Yeah, well any reviews and constructive criticisms are nice. So EAT SHIT GOKUDERA.

Yamamoto: D: That was quite mean.

Me: I am mean.

Yamamoto: Oh, okay! Katekyo Hitman Reborn belongs to Amano Akira and the idea Ranma 1/2 was borrowed by Rumiko Takahashi and Yanase (also The Fool Arcana) gave her the idea.

Me: DON'T FORGET THAT THIS IS A HUMOROUS FANFICTION. OOC MOMENTS WILL HAPPEN OFTEN.

Chapter Five

The tension between the teenagers in the room was strained.

Yue shifted in her chair uncomfortably from across the dining room. Currently, she was wearing Hibari's long sleeved t-shirt that hung off her shoulders because it was twice the size of her body. She still didn't have any clothes of her own at the mansion because Reborn lit her old house on fire and burned all of her possessions.

An inaudible strangled cry of dread left her throat. Yue could sense the animosity rubbing off of Hibari at the current situation and feel his raging essence of hatred intended for her.

"I'm sorry," Yue interjected nervously. She fiddled with the sweatpants that were folded around her ankles and laced her fingers together uneasily. "I didn't mean to hide my gender from you."

Hibari narrowed his eyes into slits but not a muscle in his body twitched. "Explain yourself."

"Well umm…You see…" The color of scarlet stained her cheeks when she blushed. A panicking feeling arose within her and she hurriedly grabbed the rather large cold glass of water on the table and drenched it over her head. Yue, now in a form of a boy, relaxed in the chair comfortably. He felt more at ease when being scrutinized as a guy more than a girl because Hibari wasn't accustomed to it.

Hibari raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

Yue smiled nervously. "So what is it that you want to know?"

"Explain this little magic trick of yours," Hibari demanded. There was no emotion in his voice but Yue could still sense the hostile behavior seething from the prefect.

"Right-o. There is no magic trick by the way; just a little Chinese this and that." Yue pinched at the clothes that now fit him snugly and started off with, "I'm actually a girl!" He observed that Hibari was restraining from hitting him in his guy form. Yue knew the prefect had a sense of weak spot for any human being that didn't contain the y chromosomes. "Okay….Well you see…I mean…Golly, I don't even know where to start because—!" Hibari kicked Yue's chair and he squealed, jumping off the chair and landing on the table flailing in every direction. "OKAY! When I first came to Namimori to sign up for school I planned to sign up at school as a girl."

"But?" Hibari's patience was running thin.

Yue winced, forehead wrinkling as he crinkled his eyes. "E-Except the weather had been storming that day and I didn't have any hot water on me so the office lady wrote me down as a male. Ididn't know that but it was too late because when they sent me my uniform, it was a guys set." He began fidgeting again as he choked out, "And…I was …umm…really lazy to go back to school to clear up the misunderstandings so I just…stuck with it."

It was a horrendous justification of going to school pretending to be a boy.

"It doesn't explain your situation with being able to change your gender constantly with the use of the water's temperature," Hibari pointed out Yue's flawed explanation.

"OH!" Yue began retelling his experience in China with the mention of the effects of the Cursed Spring he landed in as a child quite eagerly. With the mention of each word, Hibari could feel the headache in his mind grow. The prefect then remembered the time when he met Yue as a girl in the streets when he was looking for Tsuna. Yue's story was, Hibari agreed to this resentfully, believable in a sense.

Hibari pinched the bridge of his nose and grunted in dismay. He was going to kill this Chinese thingone day. He pressed a red button hanging from underneath the table. An elderly maid instantly appeared beside him. She did a little bow. "Yes Hibari-sama?"

"I want you to bring me a kettle of boiling water right now."

The maid didn't question him. "As you wish, Hibari-sama. It'll be here in thirty seconds." True to the servant's words, a boiling pot of kettle was placed on the mahogany table within a matter of those precious thirty seconds.

There was a squeak. "H-Hibari-san…You don't plan to dump that on me do you? That kettle is still burning…Look! It's leaving a mark on the table!"

Hibari didn't remove his gaze from Yue as he poured himself a cup of steaming water. "Be still," were his last two words and he hurdled the water at him along with the cup. The glass cup smashed into Yue's face and she screamed. It didn't scar her face awfully or even cut her, but it did hurt.

"OWWW!" She returned back to her normal form and rubbed at the sting of hot water on her reddened face (this time from the heat of dihydrogen monoxide and not embarrassment). Albeit Yue was angry at the prefect, she knew the battle would not be in her favor for now because he knew how potentially harmful she could be. For the most part, Hibari could hurt a girl if he found out their true strength. Yue crawled off the table and sat back in the chair. "Listen Hibari-san, I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep this a secret from you but Reborn-san told me to."

Soft feminine voice like bell chimes reached his ears and the prefect tuned her out, eying Yue with distaste. It pained Hibari to admit it, but he also felt uncomfortable looking at the younger girl in her natural state. He was used to seeing her as him for so long; it hit a nerve. He curiously watched her slender fingers reach up to push the strands of white hair behind her ear with a sick fascination.

Xin Yue was truly, utterly, a female.

Yue stood up from the chair and jumped back on the table, hurriedly running across it before she bent down near Hibari's face. "Are you really that mad at me? I apologized didn't I? Dang dude, I knew you had a pole up your butt but still."

Hibari didn't like how her large golden orbs flickered with innocence and curiosity was directed at him. His fingers twitched, the intense feeling of strangling her throat rising. Inwardly, he had reminded himself that he would never harm females unless they were lethal—even if it was the likes of Yue herself. "Get off the table or I'll injure you."

She looked down. "Oh yeah! Sorry!" Yue scrambled off the table and fixed the loose strands of hair coming out of her messy bun again.

Hibari contemplated on what he should do in this situation; an internal conflict he was struggling with. Finally, he instructed the maid grudgingly, "Give her a spare bedroom and provide her with a set of clean clothes. Clothes fitted for a female." He emphasized the last part. Seeing Yue wear his set of outfit was very off putting.

"Yes Hibari-sama," the maid responded routinely.

"Hibari-san, you really don't have to. I can still go to school as a male! It'll be a lot easier for the both of us." She even managed to score free food as a boy.

"As tempting as that sounds, it's against the school's rules. You are a girl. Therefore, you will attend Namimori as a proper female," he responded with a lack of enthusiasm.

"Hibari-san." Yue was leaning forward and tentatively touched his shoulder. She screeched and yanked it back when he hissed at her. "Errm. Right. Hibari-san, is it possible that you find me more attractive like this?" She wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis, swinging her hips side to side gracelessly. "You know I can…make things pleasurable for you in the bedroom."

"What?" Was she crazy?—suggesting something so ludicrous to the prefect that strived for perfection in his life that didn't involve the need of women. Hibari was certainly appalled.

"Yeah, I can make things pleasurable for you in the bedroom. I saw a PS4 in your room and let me tell you, I'm pretty awesome at all the games you have. Unless you wanted to do something else like watch Sailor Moon. I'm really cool when it comes to anime."

The prefect cut in icily, "You have ten seconds to get out of my sight before I annihilate you. If you don't, sit down and prepare to be disemboweled."

"Oh…Well then." There was a disheartened look on her face. She stared pathetically at him before casting a sad glance at the ground. "Goodnight Hibari-san. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Please don't hit me again this time in the stomach just to wake me up."

Feet slapped against the tile rather miserably when Yue exited the room.

…

Was that guilt stabbing at his chest?

Hibari scowled.

Damn Xin Yue to the abyss.

It was the next morning in Namimori at six AM when two students disrupted the peaceful atmosphere of civilians doing their regular intake of morning exercise with an indistinguishable screeching coming from a rather girly male.

"STOP IT HIBARI-SAN! I SAID NOT TO HIT ME THIS TIME BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN BURN MY FACE OFF!" Yue cried out as he dashed away from the angry prefect.

Hibari was chasing after the escapee with a hot boiling pot of kettle in his left hand and a girl's uniform in another. A feral growl escaped his throat, "Xin Yue, get back here now." This was ridiculous. He was chasing a naked boy down the street like some sort of hooligan.

"NOOO! I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL DRESSED AS A GIRL! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

"You are naked!" He hissed.

"I'M NAKED?" Yue repeated loudly, words laced with bewilderment. He stopped momentarily to take a good look at himself. He suddenly became very aware and slapped a hand between his legs to cover his privates.

"I'M NAKED!"

Hibari resisted the urge of slapping himself in the face. Instead, he reached his destination and managed to pour the scalding hot water on Yue and watched with sick interest as he turned back into a she. Normally, the sight of naked girls didn't bother him for it was a normal part of life. But seeing her body, in all its glory with the smooth complexion and scar-less body, bothered the prefect. Yue pursed her lips as Hibari dropped the tiny uniform on her head. "Change into this uniform. School will start in an hour."

"B-But Hibari-san…"

"Now."

Sniffle.

Sniffle.

Yue was rubbing at the tears trailing down her cheeks quite furiously.

"K-Kyoya."

Hibari froze at the quiet voice of a girl calling out to him by his first name; it sounded oddly sweet coming from such a pathetic girl. No. He refused to develop a soft spot for her just because she wasn't a he anymore. But when he gave a slight inclination of acknowledgement to her calling his name by turning his head, Hibari swallowed the lump in his throat at the view of Yue. Locks of white hair framed her doll-like face and wide golden orbs brimmed with tears stared intently at him with dejection; the definition of a kicked puppy. And yes, she was a still very wet, verydripping, very naked, girl.

Regardless of people viewing him as the type of man who was incapable of developing feelings such as affection or fondness towards any human being other than himself, Hibari was still a socially awkward seventeen-year-old dealing with raging hormones when his weapons of mass destruction and dim-witted catchphrase was taken away. So right now, Hibari was clearly at lost on what to do besides get the naked girl into some decent clothing.

Thank the Lord the streets were at this moment empty.

"Put the uniform on."

"N-no! I don't wanna go to school as a girl!" she protested. Yue sniffled and rubbed at the tears forming again with her arm, whining. Oh please no. He hated it when girls cried. "I WANT TO GO AS A BOY."

Hibari was not going to play house. . NO. He was not going to be the mother who dragged her son around the grocery store while the son begged for candy until she gave in. Hibari Kyoya was not pathetic. He will not and should not be pushed around.

"You are a girl."

"BUT I'M ALSO A REAL LIVING BOY!" Yue was bawling at this point.

"You are a girl."

Hell to the effin no was Hibari going to back down because of one measly child equipped with large boobies.

"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?"

Oh please no.

The sound of that was not giving Hibari good vibes.

Yue hastily tossed the girl's uniform on the ground and held her arms open in the air as she strolled down the streets. "I'M ALL FOR PUBLIC NUDITY. EVERYONE LOOK AT MY NIPPLES. THEY'RE PANCAKE SIZED AREN'T THEY?"

The muscle in Hibari's left cheek twitched as the dark air surrounded him spelled out thoughts.

DEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATH.

He picked up the uniform and resumed sprinting after her again.

"EEK! NO HIBARI-SAN! YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND BUT I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"

….

Hibari had bitterly accepted his defeat, like the mom who bought her son candies unwillingly, when school began. He had managed to seize Yue again during their chase and forcefully squeezed her into the dreadful uniform (with a miniscule blush when he accidentally grazed her breast). It was his honest mistake when he forgot she was a terribly deceitful and conniving person.

They had come to school early without anyone there. Just when Hibari thought he finally won the relentless battle as they departed, Yue pretending to be rather depressed and pitiful, he later found out she threw herself in the school's pool and came to class pretending to be a cross dresser—getting a laugh out of everyone before a classmate was nice enough to lend him, HER, an extra uniform.

Here Hibari was eyeing male Yue with distaste as the boy, girl he reminded himself AGAIN, received a piggy back ride from Yamamoto the likeable baseball player.

"GO HORSEY GO! WE MUST FIND NARNIA AND DESTROY THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST THAT PRODUCES ROTTEN COOKIES!"

"I don't understand what you're saying but you sure are funny!" Yamamoto laughed, carrying around the Chinese boy with a gleeful smile.

Gokudera and Tsuna simultaneously released an exhausted sigh. They were already drained just from being able to listen in on Yue's scream thundering across the over populated courtyard.

"NEIGH HORSEY NEIGH!"

"Umm….neiiigghh?"

"NEIGH!"

Gokudera kicked Yue and Yamamoto in the back, "NEIGH MY ASS. SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"GOKUDERA-KUN!" Tsuna yelled in a reprimanding tone.

"YOU TITANIC PIECE OF BULLSHI—"

Hibari slammed his window with a shut furiously and drew the curtains closed.

"How was your day?" Yue asked. She leaned over and grabbed food for herself from the main plate, ripping an exquisitely cooked crab that had been prepared for dinner with her bare hands. Juices splattered on her face but she continued chewing thoroughly, ignoring the look of repulse Hibari had. He always wore that expression around her. "Your friends came by and said hi to me this morning when they saw me in a skirt. I think one of them took a picture with his phone and sold it to my club. I MEAN NOT MY CLUB. MY GIRL FRIENDS. Yeah, they sold some pictures to my girl friends."

Hibari gritted his teeth and bitterly said in a calm voice, "Wipe your face."

"Huh? Oh. Sorry." Yue used the clean sleeves of her shirt to remove the crab juices on her cheek, ultimately staining the article of clothing—HIS shirt.

"Wipe your face with the napkin you insufferable fool."

Confusion settled on her face. Then, "…Ohhhh. My bad."

Hibari was reconsidering Yue's true gender and had the urge to attack, fingers already twitching at an irritable pace. No Kyoya, it was not worth staining the beige carpet with her blood for the fifth time in a row. He had already put his servants through hell enough as it is.

"You know Hibari-san, some of your maids are really cute. You should try dating one of them. Getting a girlfriend would probably make you a lot nicer—AHHHH! WHAT THE HELL?" She managed to yank her hand back just in time as a knife impaled itself into her plate, smashing the through the porcelain. "UGH—you just! YOU JUST—WHAT DID I MANAGE TO DO THIS TIME?"

An animalistic smirk settled itself on Hibari's face.

"You're right."

"I'm sorry." Puzzlement etched itself on her face. "HUH?"

"You are not a girl."

"Ummm…." Yue scratched the side of her cheek. "No Hibari-san, I'm a girl. I think we went over this yesterday when you had the maid give me a spare bedroom instead of the basement."

"No. You are a boy." Hibari called in a maid with a press of a button.

"Yes, Hibari-sama?"

"Put this boy's belongings back in the basement."

"Of course, Hibari-sama. We shall do that right this instant."

"Nooo. Hibari-san, I am a girl. LOOK! My hair is all long and pretty!" Inwardly, she formed strings of curse words at herself. Things always did have a tendency to come around and bite her in the ass. Yue gradually inched her hands to the knife on the plate, eyeballing Hibari.

She could kill him.

Kill Hibari Kyoya and take his bedroom with the full set of Sailor Moon collection and claim his credit cards.

Yes.

Kill him.

Killing him would be pleasant but fastidious.

Still pleasant.

Xin Yue should and would kill Hibari Kyoya but plans of hers frequently backfired.

"Hibari-san, your butt is so cute." In the blink of an eye Yue found herself at his mercy, tonfas pressed at her throat, back against the floor, and his face too eerily close to hers. Oh geezus…was his jaw line always so prominent? She had the urge to just caress it. A shiver of horror ran down her back when she realized what she just thought about the prefect. That was gross.

"Xin Yue." The girl flinched at the warm breath beating against her face. "Prepare to be bitten to death."

"C-C-Can I say something first?"

"No—"

"WELL I'M GONNA SAY I FIND YOU REALLY ATTRACTIVE RIGHT NOW."

Hibari froze, catching the sharp knife directed at him from the corner of his eyes pressing at the thin fabric of his shirt. There was an outlandish layer of yellow glow over the hand gripping the knife tightly. "Wao. You aren't an herbivore after all."

Yue continued leisurely with a cheeky grin, "I'm an omnomnivore—get it? AHEM. Now Carnivore-san, even if you are super hot, you won't be able to hurt me if I stab through your thoracic diaphragm and drag it up to your lungs and gut out the trachea. Suffocate me you can try, but I have powers to heal quickly and boost my energy with sun flames. WHICH, you don't know about flames yet so I clearly have the advantage."

The tonfa was pressing deeper into her throat.

Yue wasn't fazed.

"Hibari-san, what you rely on is the basic survival instinct when you attack and your sheer drive to be the triumphant winner." Ebony bangs from his hair brushed against her cheek at the close proximity and she resisted a sneeze, continuing in a rather constipated voice, "No matter how much you can manage to injure me, it means nothing when I can just regenerate over and over again. I was a trained assassin and my endurance can keep me going for days. Now will you please get away before I snee—aahhh—ahh—ACHOO!"

The prefect managed to jump back before his face would be covered with snot. It was a secret that Hibari had a phobia for germs. (He's seen Yue's boogers before and was not exactly pleased to find out the girl did not know how to keep it clean in there.) With the yellow glow from her hands still, Yue released the knife and proceeded to massage her throat gently. The redness from the pressure of the weapon against her throat vanished.

"Living with you sucks, Hibari-san. I still haven't even seduced your credit cards yet."

Yue was appalled when Hibari had the audacity to snort and roll his eyes. "The door is always open whenever you feel the need to leave. While you're at it, don't come back."

Lifting her legs off the ground, she used her body's momentum and hopped off the floor without the use of her hands. She turned and stared blankly at him. "Hibari-san, I've been wondering—"

"So you have."

"I've been wondering, " Yue adamantly continued, "what is your weakness?"

Hibari sat back in his dining chair and resumed to eating his dinner. One week of living with Yue so far and it wasn't worth it. The endless conversations eating away his IQ was draining his will to live. He curtly replied with a sneer, "I have none." Then he ripped the crab's claw in half.

"Yeah, that's what I've been thinking too so far. When I'm a guy, all you did was beat me in the head a lot and dislocated my shoulders because you thought it was funny. Then there was the one time at school when I tried taking your pants off and you broke my ankles. I hobbled around school for a month."

Hibari was quite proud of that feat.

"Buuuttt…you're actually quite nice to the girls at school. You're an asshole to them don't get me wrong, but you never hit them. Could it be that you're…sexist? No, that's not right. You still attacked me after finding out I'm a girl."

"You don't count as a girl."

The corner of her lips formed a frown and then she let out an ear piercing shriek. "AHA! I KNOW WHAT YOUR WEAKNESS IS!"

"I don't have a weakness," Hibari reiterated.

"NO YOU DO!" She was bouncing up and down with glee, clasping her hands together. "I KNOW HOW TO WIN AGAINST YOU WITHOUT EVEN GETTING SHOT IN THE FACE!"

"Fine." Hibari wiped his hands with the napkin and proceeded to lean back in his chair. "Entertain me with my so-called weakness."

She was bluffing wasn't she?

Cheshire smirk accompanied with eyes gleaming deviously glared at him.

"You have a paranormal fear of…

Boobies."

As Hibari picked up the sharp fork set on the left side of his table, he raised his hand, ready to throw and all when he froze midway.

She was flashing him.

Granted, Yue wearing a lacy bra (damn she was big for being in such a tiny body) his maid had set out for her yesterday but—but…Hibari was at lost for words. The same could be said for Yue because she was opening and closing her mouth repeatedly. She slowly pulled her flimsy shirt back down. Then, with a flushed embarrassment, she mumbled, "Wow Hibari-san, I was just joking about you being afraid of boobs but umm…this is awkward. I'm going to just…umm…leave. Umm, yeah. Goodnight Hibari-san, I love you. I mean I hate you…yeah."

The door to the dining room slammed shut.

Hibari's fingers were trembling violently as his hand reached up to touch the dripping red liquid running down his features. Mortified, Hibari wiped his nosebleed and then stood up. He silently picked up his chair and hurled it out the window.

One) There were too many "UMMS" in that last statement (let alone in this chapter itself seeing as how Yue didn't possess a large vocabulary for being a foreigner).

Two) Hibari Kyoya was filled with complete and intolerable rage at even wavering because she flashed him her breast.

Three) Hibari Kyoya, the prefect with straight A's and a killer face/body and perfect family background, should have NOT been thrown off by something so simple like boobs.

Four) BOOBS.

Five) HIS ACTUAL WEAKNESS WAS BOOBS.

Six) MAYBE IT WAS JUST HER BOOBS THAT WAS HIS WEAKNESS BUT IT WAS STILL BOOBS REGARDLESS.

More dining chairs and tables thrown out followed by one unlucky butler; Hibari would not have it. He will not let his weakness be something as simple as boobs. He was Hibari Kyoya. He shall be the top carnivorous creature who prowled through the world undefeated. But right now, at this very instant, he needed to get down to one problem—one problem that could only be solved with the help of Yue whether she realized it or not.

"Maid."

"Yes Hibari-sama?"

"Place Xin Yue's belongings in my room. She will be sleeping with me for a while."

Hibari Kyoya will conquer his weakness of boobs through Xin Yue.

Me: Guys, I want to take time to remind you AGAIN that this is a HUMOROUS fanfiction. Meaning there will be a lot of times where the main characters will be OOC. That's just how I roll.

Reviews and constructive criticisms are highly appreciated.

Unless you're an asshole.

Which almost all of you are, you non-reviewing bastards.

But I love you.

Ish.