Disclaimer: I do not own the creation of Harry Potter or anything to do with it. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Warning: Themes of self-harm ahead.

Chapter Nine: Unexpected Support

…

Dumbledore sat in his office, the usually cheery face looking worn; his face holding every single one of his years at once. It had been a long time since Dumbledore had felt this worse for wear, and there were many justifiable reasons for it.

The elderly Headmaster glanced expectantly at his lemon drops, as though they could be the answer to all his concerns, but not even the sticky sickly sweet could do much to shed light on his dampened mood at the moment. It had been a week since Harry Potter's abuse had been come out to his colleague, and Dumbledore sure as hell hoped it wouldn't be publicised any further; the ageing man however felt fairly confident that Severus Snape would stay under his thumb and not expose this to the public in any way.

But it had been much worse than he had expected. The abuse had been a lot worse.

Of course Dumbledore would never admit that to anyone, hence why he did not to Severus. Of course he knew of the abuse – the beatings, the hard child labour and poor nutrition but to the extent Dumbledore saw? No. Not to that extent.

But what made Dumbledore ashamed of himself the most wasn't the fact that he had kept the boy there more unknowingly than he cared to admit, but more the fact that he would have kept Harry there even if he did know. It was a callous resolution, but if there was one thing Albus Dumbledore was sure of, it was that he would always work towards the greater good, no matter what hard decisions would come his way.

He was the leader of the light, for goodness sake! Dumbledore thought to himself coldly, his fingers brushing through his long beard. Do good hard warriors come from pampered backgrounds? No? Name one! Each one of the past has come from a heartless, broken childhood that has lead them to be strong and unwavering in the prospect of war. As good a boy Harry is, how could Dumbledore have predicted he would have been the same if he had been an overly indulged boy-who-lived in a wizarding family?

But poor Harry needed to return there, it was simply the safest option for him and everyone. It would do no one anyone good if the reason the Chosen One had been killed alongside many Order members simply because his Uncle had been rough with him. What a tragedy.

No. Harry Potter was a strong boy, and he will understand the reasoning of having him return there. His lack of self-preservation and need to protect others will do everything for the Headmaster. All he had to do now is explain that to Harry and he would most certainly understand.

With that thought in mind, Dumbledore sat up in his chair with a little more cheer, and reached into his bowl filled with lemon drops, spelling a diary open to plan the next Order meeting.

…

Harry was sat in the middle of the library, pouring through a thick binding on Transfiguration for Defence for extra reading. It was an unusual book, but as interesting as it was, the Gryffindor couldn't seem to concentrate. He was beginning to get a little agitated now; it had been some time since Professor Snape had announced that he was going to inform higher authorities but neither Snape nor Pomfrey, or even Dumbledore had gotten back to him. Perhaps Snape had realised that the Headmaster had a point, and figured it was not worth the effort.

So nothing had come from it being revealed. Harry ought to have been pleased for surely this is what he had wanted all along? The abuse not to be figured out, he to return for one more summer and then be freed from the Dursley's clutches permanently. So why was he was incongruously disappointed?

It was that deep knowing feeling of emptiness that he allowed to loom over him him, just like it did every time he was reminded that there wasn't an adult figure in his life, prepared to defend him, support him and acknowledge him that told him that this was the reason why he felt let down. A parent or guardian who would take the weight load off his shoulders and tell him 'it was going to be okay'. Harry felt silly; he was sixteen, not six! He had managed this long, he can continue without.

But there was a time when Harry did have a parent figure, prepared to defend him, protect him and be there for him. Sirius. But what had Harry done? He had gone and gotten Sirius killed, simply because he was too naïve to understand the true threats ahead of him.

Sirius was dead and it was his entire fault. Harry deserved to be alone, because people who became closer to him simply got killed. It was a miracle Ron and Hermione had survived this stretch along his side.

Sirius. Sirius laughing, Sirius living. He had been an innocent, courageous, loyal friend all along, and what did he get in return? Twelve years in the worst prison known to wizard folk, one year living off rats and finally, when he was inches close from being announced not guilty, his best friend's son got him murdered. Remus hadn't been in contact with Harry since the end of last year. His parents must also hate him; Sirius must hate him.

"THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE HUMAN!" the words echoed at the back of his mind from Dumbledore's office at the end of last year. Being human meant pain was real; being human meant one must accept and endure the hurt and discomfort it brings.

Mum, dad, Cedric and Sirius. How many more deaths to his name were there to come?

A hot anger surged through Harry, causing his head to throb. He wanted to scream, cry and exhale this painful fury that had a strong hold through him. This was all his fault!

He would never see Sirius again, he could never talk to him again, never receive a letter from him again. And it was his, and only his fault.

An empty hollow feeling heaved its way to the bottom of his heart, replacing the anger, and all he felt was numbness. He wouldn't feel anything if he could just forget. Just for a few moments, forget.

The large book Harry had been holding fell out of his hands and it was only then he noticed they were sweaty and shaking. He needed out and he needed out now.

With this resolution, Harry pacified dramatically. Upon closing the book and filing his papers, Harry calmly stood up, grabbed a pencil and walked out the library, heading towards the closest boys bathroom.

Unknown to him, Draco Malfoy followed Harry in pursuit, viewing the sudden change of emotion with much curiosity.

The first bathroom Harry found was empty, and he wasn't surprised; it was a Saturday afternoon and most students, including his two best friends were either in their Common Room or outside, enjoying the last few weekends of autumn before the cold winter weather overcame the warm sunlight. Plus, boys didn't tend to linger in toilets unlike girls.

He quickly transfigured the pencil into a razor, and a spark of adrenaline built up a pressure within, so fearsome and willing that he didn't even notice someone enter and close the door quietly, ducking into one of the cubicles.

Harry then glanced at the entrance missing the figure by moments, and decided to lock the room with little trepidation. He examined his apparatus with anguish apparent on his face.

The roaring in his ears told him that he was ready, and the violence and the ferocity of his beating heart begged for him to done with it. The urge for release, to be free from the drowning bars that trapped Harry in his own skin. The liberation would set him on fire, and that desire and determination pulled him forward. That was the problem with pain; so very demanding and rarely withstanding.

He looked desperately at the bathroom door for the second time despite knowing it was locked, lifted his left sleeve, and went to-

"You probably shouldn't be doing that."

Harry spun round abruptly, whipping his wand out so viciously that a few blue sparks flew out the end. To his horror, Malfoy was standing in front of him, leant against one of the cubical doors, white faced as though trying to cover his shock. Malfoy had swiftly conjured a shield barrier, at the sight of Harry's aggressive magic, but then put his wand back in his robe.

"What are you doing here?" spat Harry, razor still in hand, and wand in the other. Malfoy lifted both hands to show he was unarmed and had no intention of harming.

"Truth be told, I saw you leave the library with that look on your face, and I was wondering where you were going. I followed you here and at first I supposed you were just using the facility but well - I thought I'd make my presence know before you did anything stupid."

"This isn't stupid, you know nothing Malfoy," replied Harry angrily, his hollow emotions dissipating. He had been so close!

"I know more than you think. Will you stop pointing your wand at me please? It's highly offensive when I clearly have no intention of using mine." Harry complied by lowering his wand slightly.

"Good. Now can I trust you to allow me to put down my protego?" said Malfoy calmly. Harry wordlessly nodded, oddly placated by Malfoy's composure, but did not put away his wand into his robe. "Okay; so what's this about? Why is our finest boy-who-lived attempting to kill himself? Quite a feeble attempt too, might I add."

Harry bristled slightly, "I wasn't trying to kill myself ferret! Do you really think this would do the job?" He waved the sharp razor in the air before hastily hiding it away.

"Well good; I don't think You-Know-Who would be too please if he found out he didn't get to finish off the job himself," Malfoy smirked slightly, but his ashen face didn't cover his bemusement of the situation.

"Suicide is just too selfish; whether you are the boy-who-lived, a pampered Slytherin prince such as yourself, or any old witch, wizard or muggle. It's not the answer to any problems, it's an easy way out and it's just proving to the world you're weak. Suicide is just plain wrong," said Harry flatly.

"But self-harm is acceptable?" Malfoy questioned.

"Like I said before; you don't know anything! And this isn't even self-harm" replied Harry defiantly, wondering how he is even having this conversation with Malfoy and hadn't hexed him into oblivion by now.

"Yes it is. It's self-harm, and it's just as wrong Potter. For whatever nonsensical or justifiable reasons you think you may have, self-harm is utterly pointless," said Draco quickly before making a final decision to come out, "Trust me, I know; and that's why you should believe me when I tell you I'm not going to spread this."

Harry started. "You know? And y-you stopped?"

"Under two years ago. When He returned; pressure was on, and it was a way to get away from it all. It's something I could do, not something I was told to do or learn. I got out of it very quickly; within one summer in fact. I had the right person find out, and that somebody helped me stop. Plus, I realised I was just far too good looking to have scars on my skin. Surely you feel the same way?"

"I understand what you're saying; but that's what concealment charms are for!" exclaimed Harry. Harry most certainly recalled what Snape had said about the spell last week but surely one more charm wouldn't do that much damage? He'd been completely fine in class up until now!

"Idiotic Gryffindor. Don't you realise how bad glamours can be for your magic? And you have a curse scar as well! Two minutes of release isn't worth risking squib life or a scar that anyone could possibly see! Wizards, witches, squibs and even filthy muggles alike are likely to judge you for those scars before even getting to know you; and you already have a lot of judgement to your name anyway. It's not fair and it's wrong but I don't even know how to tell you how inane that action is."

Harry didn't reply, but there was a dawn of understanding about his features. Heartened by this, Malfoy concluded his conversation with Harry.

"Listen; I don't know your reasoning for what you were about to do, and quite frankly it's not my business either. Just remember, the hardest part of recovery is when you're not sure you want to recover. It's the reason for relapse; it's so very easy to listen to people to tell you to stop, but you within yourself have to be convinced you want to stop." And with that Malfoy unlocked and walked out of the boys toilets, giving Harry much food for thought.

…

Draco lay in his four poster bed in the Slytherin dormitories. It had been hours since his conversation with Potter, and he was admittedly unsettled by it. Never in his life had he given such advice or support to another, and it made him shudder. He had been…nice.

But seeing Potter sitting there, with that look in his eye in the Library earlier – it had brought feelings he had once had back home very quickly; a flashback he hadn't expected to experience ever again. Those few weeks of self-inflicted pain had been a closed chapter in his life that he had never intended to open again. But why had Draco been so considerate? No one – no one apart from Sev and Madame Pomfrey knew about those few weeks in the summer, yet Draco had willingly announced it to his supposedly school arch-nemesis.

Draco tried to convince himself it was because of his father; his father would be so disappointed if had brought back a broken teenage boy, rather than a rival of the Dark Lord, and that Draco being almost kind to Potter was all part of the ruse to befriend him. But as much as he tried, he couldn't. The Slytherin knew the words that had come out of his mind were all true and all sincere. It had literally been out of the goodness of his heart…. And Draco hadn't even realised he had any goodness in his heart.

…

Chapter End

If anyone ever wants to chat to me further about the themes I've brought up in this chapter, suicide, self-harm, relapse, feel free to PM me. I'm more than willing to chat to anyone who wants/needs to talk.

Thanks to Murgy31, a Guest, animefreak728, oldsie, Babs707PertemisDrarry and Discovery's Daughter for reviewing!

Please do review the chapters, letting me know what you think or if there's anything in particular you wish to see! I really do love seeing how many reviews I get in a chapter!

So earlier this week I visited Platform 9 and ¾ at Kings Cross Station on my way home and snapped a picture pretending to run into the wall! It was so much fun and I'm definitely going to head back to the Harry Potter Shop round the corner in the near future!

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Best wishes

Raiise