NOTE TO READERS: For the next week and half, I'll be doing a bunch of wedding things which does will not lend itself to much spare time to write. So I doubt there'll be an update next week to the story. BUT once I get back I'll probably do two chapters that week rather than the usual one, unless my computer gets eaten by a Totoro. I'll be writing a lot (a week-long road trip all together; oh boy) so by the time I get back, I should be plenty ahead and just need to type it up. Thanks for the patience.

I'd like to give a big Merci to my beta-readers and reviewers for their support and comments.

Don't own TMNT in any capacity.

Chapter Eight

I managed to organize the kitchen in one morning. It wasn't a dirty kitchen, it just looked like a bunch of gremlins got into the cupboards and moved everything where they shouldn't have been. And after that, it just seemed to all snowball.

For the second half of the first week I was in the Lair, I began to go on a cleaning spree. After the kitchen, I found a closet in Catnap Corridor that had tons of cleaning supplies. I probably wouldn't have bothered if the guys had been around to hang out with, but for some reason they and Casey were all busy doing things in Don's Lab. If they weren't doing things in there, they were training.

Besides, the Lair may not have been dirty, but it was certainly messy. Despite Master Splinter's immaculate grooming of himself and the state of his own quarters, there was still the equivalent of four young adults living together, all male. This was not exactly conducive to tidiness. I had been married twice, and neither husband had been overly concerned with keeping things clean- the first because he had me do it all and he'd hit me if I didn't, and the second because he didn't take his flings to the house, he took them to hotels. I didn't find out about the things the second husband had done until the divorce proceedings began, but still.

Since April was trying to work with Donny to find out who had attacked us and why, I didn't want to distract her either. And I felt lazy and kind of impolite to just sit there, leeching off their hospitality. So I started with the massive den/living room after I finished with the kitchen, then I moved on into Catnap Corridor. I organized all the closets, and then the storage rooms full of books and boxes and other such junk. That took me hours and by the time I was done with that, I just wanted to sit mindlessly somewhere. I stood up from where I had been crouching with a loud groan and stretched my hands far over my head.

There was a polite cough behind me. I gave a screech of surprise (no one had been around for what felt like hours) and tripped over my own feet, falling backwards into a pair of green arms that came up to catch me. The problem with this was that the turtle who caught me was used to catching his brothers or Casey, and not women. So his hands went a bit too high up, and as I hit his plastron, his hands squeezed instinctively to keep me from losing my balance. I gave a small "Eep" and I heard an "Ack" of surprise behind me, and as I looked up into the face of Donny, I saw that he now realized that I wasn't wearing a bra under my shirt.

We immediately jumped apart, both of our faces completely red from mortification. At that moment I wanted the ground beneath me to open up into a black hole and swallow me off the face of the earth. I knew he was thinking the same thing because he was looking at my face and trying so hard not to look at my chest, and his mouth just kept opening and closing, trying to think of something to say-

And he just looked so ridiculous that I suddenly burst into laughter, trying to stifle the sounds of my amusement with my hands. But it wouldn't stop. I took a deep breath, trying to get a hold of myself, but when I looked at the turtle facing me, I couldn't help but break out into giggles again. Suddenly the corners of Donny's mouth started to move upwards and before I knew it, we were both laughing.

"Oh, my god, Irma, I'm really sorry!" Don tried to say through his chortles.

"That's okay! Don't worry! It's a story to tell the kids!" I managed to choke out. "Let me tell you about the time I got felt up by a turtle!" And we both fell out laughing again.

We managed to pull ourselves together after a few minutes, and Donny said "I was about to go pick out a movie to watch. I've been working on stuff all day and I kind of want a break. Do you wanna come pick one out with me?"

"Sure!" I said enthusiastically.

We set off for his room where he kept his movies. As I clambered up into the train-car where he slept I gasped as I looked around. "This is so cool, Don!" And it was. He had decorated his room with lamps shaped like dragons sitting on carefully constructed shelves, and from the ceiling he had hung a giant mobile of the solar system. Each planet had a light inside, and so they all glowed. The sun shone the brightest of course.

"I'm glad you like it," he replied. "Took me forever to finish that thing. I had to re-wire it like seven times before it would work correctly."

"Impressive."

"Thanks." Don pulled a black CD case out of a nightstand and opened it up, flipping through the pages.

"Oh! You've got Clue!"

"You like Clue?" he asked me delightedly.

"Who doesn't like Clue besides blasphemers and heathens?" I demanded.

"Indeed. Hey, do you like the Three Amigos?"

"I LOVE the Three Amigos!"

"Me too!" Donny and I grinned at each other. "So which do we watch?" he asked.

"Why not both? Movie night!" I exclaimed.

And with that, we rushed to the den- to find Raph already setting up the TV. He saw us standing there and frowned. "What? You comin' to argue over fake blood again?"

"Fake blood?" Donny looked at me confused.

"Long story," I told him. "We were coming here to watch some movies."

"I'm already watching a movie," the older brother said, crossing his arms. "I was checkin' out that Spartecus movie you told me about."

"The one with Kirk Douglas, right?"

"Yep."

"That's a great movie," I said, looking at Donny. "Let's watch that first and then we can watch the other movies."

The purple-clad ninja shrugged. "Sure, I don't mind."

"Yay!" I practically skipped to the giant sofa and plopped down on the side with an arm, getting comfy.

"That's my spot," glowered Raph at me.

"Not anymore!" I sang out.

With a growl, he sat down on the other side of the couch, taking the other arm. "Now it's gonna feel weird for the whole movie!" he groused.

"Wah, wah, wah."

Donny took his seat beside me, trying to hide his grin.

We turned the movie on and sat there for a few minutes. Then Raph said angrily "It's just music playing! Where's the violence?"

"Relax!" I said. "It's an old movie. They used to play music before the show started so people would know to go take their seats."

"Music is good." We looked behind us to see Mikey. "Dude! Mikey! Come join us!" I called.

"Sure! Movies rock!"

I had a thought. "Hey, we should get Leo too! He'd love this movie!"

The guys glanced at each other. "That… may take some convincing."

"Easy!" I said cheerily. "Just give me a minute." I got up and went to Catnap Corridor, and just as I said, a minute later I was back with Leo in tow. "It's great, it's educational. A little relaxation every few days is good for the body. It relieves tension. Even Splinter watches Soap Operas."

"Irma, if it'll get you to stop yanking on my arm, I'll do just about anything."

About an hour later, we were sitting there during the intermission, and I was arguing with Raph.

"This movie isn't just about the VIOLENCE! It's about the STRUGGLE! It's a battle for FREEDOM! How can you not SEE that?" I was once again sitting up on my knees on the sofa vehemently trying to prove my point.

Raph had one leg on the ground and the other on the couch, and he was just as into it as I was. "I'm NOT looking past that! I'm saying that the whole movie is about how a bunch of slaves were RUNNING AWAY! They're gladiators, and all they're doing is trying to run!"

"I find it ironic that they try to make the actual props as authentic as possible, like the lack of stirrups, and yet they totally made up Spartacus's history. He was a soldier who defected, he wasn't born into slavery." Donny had of course known about the real Spartacus before the movie even started. He knew everything.

"I love the scenes with Spartacus and Varinia. It's so touching," sniffed Mikey.

"I can't believe I never knew about this movie before," said Leo. "I can see why it's a classic."

The final scene was playing. Varinia was holding Spartacus's son up to him, and before she left, she was begging him to die because he was being crucified.

I was sniffing and wiping a tear away. Leo and Don both looked sad. Raph looked disappointed and… touched, perhaps?

Mikey was bawling. "It was SO beautiful!" he cried, and blew his nose on a Kleenex. "It was touching and… and…" another round of tears poured from his eyes.

I sniffled some more too. "It was. It totally was... I need a tissue too." Mikey tossed the box to me and I grabbed a few of my own before passing it back.

"You were right, Irma," said Leo. "It was good for me to sit back and enjoy something of quality like this occasionally."

"I need to add this to my collection. Good choice, Raph," said Donny.

We sat in silence for a moment, all of us basking in the glory of such a great film. Then a thought came to me. "Hey, has anyone seen April or Casey?"

They thought about it for a moment. "Hmm. No, I can't say that I have," Leo looked behind us. "Not since dinner, anyway."

"Huh…" I stood up and stretched my arms up. "I think maybe I'll go look for them. Maybe they'll want to join us for the next movie."

There was a round of voices that amounted to "Go ahead" and I walked down to the spare room. I heard sounds coming from inside. Assuming that it was April and Casey talking, I walked to the door and put my hand on the doorknob…

… and then I heard some very suspicious sounds coming from inside the room. I froze and then leaned in to press my ear against the door. My eyes grew wide and my jaw fell down somewhere into the center of the earth. I instantly jumped back. I had been married twice and had had enough flings to recognize the sounds coming from inside. I turned around and walked briskly back down the hallway to the TV room, and suddenly a little giggle burst forth from my lips. I had a feeling that April wouldn't be thinking about her eyebrows for the next couple of days.

I got back to the sofa and sat down in my spot, shaking my head and giggling again.

The boys looked at me curiously. "What?" demanded Raph.

I looked over at the four of them. "Let's just say that I don't think April and Casey will be having too many fights now." A thought struck me. "Also, I think I'm going to be kicked out of the room. Which I don't really mind because I'll never be able to look at that bed the same way ever again."

Raph instantly dissolved into laughter. Don and Leo blushed furiously. Mikey looked confused. "Why won't you be able to look at the bed again?"

I leaned over to get a better view of him. "You know that song, Let's Get It On, by Marvin Gaye?"

"Yeah…"

"You know what parts they play that song in movies, right?"

"Ye-OOOOOOH, okay, I get it now."

Raph shook his head. Then he looked at me with a very evil smirk. "Sooo, Irma… Where you gonna sleep now? Now that Casey's gone, I've got room."

"RAPHAEL! Have you no shame?" shouted Leo at his delinquent brother.

"What, it was a joke!" Raph said. Then he looked at me again. "Unless you'd say yes. Then it's not a joke."

"You can stay in my room," Mikey offered. "I've got a bunk bed."

"Irma will stay in MY room, and I will sleep in Mikey's room." Donatello's voice held a tone of authority, and Leo nodded his approval.

"Aw, maaaaan," groaned Mikey. "You always make me go to bed early."

"Because you stay up until 4 AM!"

"You will ALL be going to bed early tonight." Splinter's voice came from his room. He could be really loud when he wanted to. "Tomorrow will be a very long day for you four."

More groans and sighs from Raph and Mikey. "Yes, Master," from Leo and Don. They stood and I followed. I let the other three get ahead of myself and Don, and I pulled him aside to whisper mischievously "And tomorrow you'll be able to say you've had a girl in your bed."

He gave a snort of laughter and nudged me as we walked, making me stumble a little. "And you get the pleasure of saying you've been between my sheets."

I gave a gasp of laughter before smothering it with my hand. I had to say, I was surprised by Don. I never would have expected him to be the bantering type. I looked over at him walking. "So how come you don't freak out when I say silly things like that anyway?"

He blinked at me. "Um… Well… I guess it's because I know we're only playing. And you're so calm about it, so I guess I feel more at ease."

It made sense. I faked a pout and said "Aw… And I was hoping to get you to squirm with my ribald jokes." He rolled his eyes and Mikey teasingly called back "Are we gonna have to watch you two flirt for the rest of the night? Hurry it up!"

"Don't be jealous, Mikey," I called up to him in an equally teasing tone. "You know you're the only turtle for me!"

We laughed and as we passed by the room where April and Casey were, Raph made sure to shout some suggestions to Casey through the door while the rest of us told him to be quiet, myself included. I may be a shameless tease, but I felt awkward listening to two of my best friends having sex and then offering suggestions on how to do it.

"I can't believe you DID that!" I hissed at him as I ran up to walk next to him. I slapped his arm lightly. "How're you going to be able to look them in the eyes tomorrow?" He poked my side and I squeaked and jumped to the side. "I let you flirt with my brother; you can let me tease my friends."

"I am not flirting with him! I'm teasing him!" I protested. I thought about it for a second and then asked. "Also, which brother are you referring to?"

"So I'll be in Mikey's room if you need anything," Don was saying as I was let into his room. "I would ask that if you touch anything, just try not to break it. Most of the things in here are break-proof, but just to be safe."

"Don't smash anything against the walls, got it." I gave him a thumbs up to show my understanding. "And thanks for letting me stay in your room. 'Preciate it."

"Not a problem. So… um… I guess I'll see you in the morning."

"Yep. G'night." I stared to turn away from him as he climbed out of the car, but then I remembered something. "Oh! Do you need to grab anything out of here? In case I'm asleep when you wake up."

He gave me a smile that was almost cocky. "If I do, then I can get it without waking you up. Don't worry."

"Right. Ninja stuff. Alright then. Sweet dreams and all that."

He gave me a little wave and then walked over to Mikey's room/car. I closed the door and turned out the lights in my own car and walked over to Donny's bed, kicking out of my shorts and climbing under the covers. It was a lot more comfortable than I expected it would be. I had thought that since he slept in a shell, he wouldn't care too much about the sleeping accommodations. Of course, sleeping in a shell had to be pretty uncomfortable, I reasoned. As I relaxed, I could hear muffled voices coming from the other cart.

I tried to ignore it, but I noticed that I could hear the voices somewhat clearly if I paid attention. I normally wouldn't have, but the topic of conversation was of particular interest to me.

As far as I could transcribe it in my mind, it went something like this:

M: Hey, Donny?

D: What, Mikey?

M: Whatcha think of Irma?

D: She's not bad. Why?

M: I like her. She reads Sonic the Hedgehog comics too.

I grinned at this. I couldn't believe he remembered that one comment I made concerning his comics.

D: And that's what really matters, isn't it. (This was said in what I imagine was a sarcastic tone.) We shouldn't let our guard down too much. We still don't know much about her.

M: Oh, come on. You don't think she'd take pictures of us and sell them or something, do you? She wouldn't betray us. She'd make too much noise doing it anyway. We'd hear her five miles away.

At this point, I was tempted to throw something at the wall, but refrained.

D: I don't think she'd betray us on purpose.

M: (A sigh here) Yeah, I know what you mean.

Well, I didn't!

M: But I still like her. I think Splinter does too.

D: She cleaned up the pandemonium that was in kitchen. He probably wants to set her up with one of us now.

Dear Lord above, I really hoped he was joking.

M: He's probably just glad that she isn't curled up in a corner trying to convince herself it's all a bad dream.

D: (a laugh) You're probably right.

M: But she's nice. I hope she can be like April and Casey. That way we'll have three people to mooch pizza off of.

Silence for a while. And then-

M: Is it just me, or was she not wearing a bra?

D: Uh… Well…

At this point I thought it best to announce my presence. "Sorry, I didn't have time to pack a spare and the one I was wearing needed to be washed," I said loudly through the walls of the car.

I instantly heard a bang! like something was being hit, and a voice say "Oh, crap!"

I grinned to myself. I heard one of them call out weakly through the walls "Sorry, Irma!"

"That's okay," I called back. "And I like you guys too. Also I take terrible pictures."

I heard Mikey go "Yaaaay!" and then I curled up and drifted off.

Next chapter, the humans head home and the turtles get their Lair back to themselves. Oh, boy.

Again, the interaction between the turtles and Irma was supposed to go differently, but due to general uncooperative natures of CERTAIN characters that I shall not name (it's all of them), the plot train jumped the tracks, went down the hill where the rabbit burrows were, and then took a vacation at the beach. Basically, it didn't go as planned.

I'll do my best to try to get a chapter up next Monday as usual, but I can't promise anything. BUT, I'll be writing away during the car rides, so it's not like I won't be doing anything at all.

Reviews and constructive criticism are fun to read and fun to reply to. (Hint, hint, hint. HINT.)