Ah, I love the smell of internet in the morning. I don't own the Ninja Turtles, I don't own Irma, and if not for my beta readers, this story might not even be here. Round of applause to them.

Also, special thank you to all the reviewers out there! I'll keep the goodness coming just for you

Chapter Eleven

Monday was ridiculously chaotic. I had anticipated some disorder in the library since it was close to midterms, not outright mayhem. I had no idea what started it- all the librarians had different explanations.

All I knew was that at some point, someone had knocked down an entire bookshelf, which in turn knocked down the one next to it, which knocked down the one next to that one, and so on and so forth. No one seemed able to adequately describe the situation. On top of that, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, which worked very closely with our university, was hoping that we could help it to find some way to restore credibility to its once sterling reputation since the theft had taken place. I myself didn't have a part in that, but I was forced to deal with people running through the library all day, looking for records on past exhibitions that we had taken place in and what we could do to help the museum out now. I spent very little time at the desk myself. I was too busy helping to clean up the mess that had been made. We hadn't caught the culprit, but I promised myself that when we did, I would beat them to death with an entire set of encyclopedias.

I got home that night looking like something the cat dragged in. My feet were killing me, my hair was all messy from running around all day, and my pencil skirt and stockings did nothing to help me with my exertions. I pulled myself through the door groaning. "Uuuuurgh…"

"Every time I see you, you make these sounds. They really send off mixed messages."

I screamed and fell to the floor as Raphael stood up from his place on the sofa, an irritated expression on his face. "Geeze, can't you go one day without sounding like a banshee?"

"You scared me!" I gasped out, trying to get my heart to resume beating again.

"No, really?" He walked over to me and hauled me to my feet. "Switch to decaf, Germ."

"Oh, for the love of- he told you, didn't he?"

"Who's he and what'd he tell me?" he asked with a little smirk, going to sit back down.

"Casey told you that stupid nickname and you're sitting on my sofa, and that's my spot!" I was indignant; he had just waltzed into my home! "How'd you get in here anyway?" I asked.

He gestured towards the window that we had climbed through the day before. "Oh, right…"

"I ordered pizza. Sausage and pepperoni with extra cheese."

My eyes narrowed. "How'd you know my favorite kind of pizza?"

"Casey told me. Also told me that the best way to get you to forgive someone was to offer you a foot massage."

I blinked at him. "The best way… What?"

He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Well… I was trying to get this book, you see…"

It clicked in my mind. "Wait a minute… So… you…" He turned his gaze to the TV and did his best not to look me in the eye. "YOU knocked down all those books? YOU made all those shelves fall down?" He tried to sink down into the sofa. "That was like a year's worth of non-stop shelving, you inconsiderate-!"

"Do you want the foot massage or not?" He demanded.

I stared hard at him for a moment. "Give me a minute." I walked into my bedroom and quickly changed into a pair of pajama pants, tank top, and a robe. I walked back out to the couch while brushing my hair out and sat down, putting my feet onto his lap. "What the hell were you doing in the library anyway?"

Raph gave a sigh and then shifted so that he was leaning against the arm of the sofa and moved my feet. He took my right foot in his hands and began a firm but very skillful massage. I let my head lay back against the other arm of the sofa with a pleased groan. He didn't look up at my face but said "I hope you appreciate the fact that I'm not making any comments about your sex noises." I stuck my tongue out at him. He ignored me and continued gently but firmly moving his digits over my sore feet."Anyway… I was looking something up for Don. We made ourselves a fake library card a while back and he can check out books for us directly from his computer. That's how we get books usually."

I stared at him. "You made a fake library card? Actually, you know what? That's not even the surprising part. The surprising part is how you managed to get into the library without anyone noticing you. Seriously." I gestured to his shell. "I imagine it's a bit hard to hide that."

Raph looked at me. "It's a LIBRARY. As long as you stick to shelves where no one else is and wear a big jacket with a hat, no one pays any attention."

I would have liked to argue against him- but it was true. No one pays attention in a library. "Alright," I conceded. I sighed and relaxed, letting him do his stuff to my feet. "You have magic fingers," I told him.

"Oh, the things you say to me," said Raph as he continued his massage. "The pizza'll be here in about five minutes. Twelve fifty, plus tip. I'd say thirty oughta cover it."

I would have scowled at him, but the pizza sounded delicious, so I just kept relaxing and enjoying. "So… you ever seen American Horror Story?" I asked.

"You kidding me? Love that show. The Rubber Man scene? Genius."

"Seriously? You liked the part with the kinky sex? Weird."

"That's not the important part- it's the weirdness that it adds to the show. The new aspect."

"Really? I liked the-" The doorbell rang. I stood up and I went to the door, pulling the money out of the purse. I turned to tell Raph to hide, but he was already gone. I shrugged and opened the door, paying for the pizza and thanking the delivery boy and closed the door. By the time I turned back around to the sofa, Raph was in the kitchen pulling out plates and cups.

I stared at him for a moment before he looked over at me. "You gonna stand there staring or what?"

"Yeah, yeah." I put the pizza box down and opened it up. We both inhaled deeply. "Mmm… so good," I breathed. "Oh, yeah," my companion agreed.

We quickly took our places back on the couch. "So you gonna finish my massage or what?" I asked, before taking a huge bite of the pizza followed by another moan.

He rolled his eyes at me and took a bite of his own, speaking through the food. "'m eatin' here. Gimme a minute." Or at least that's what I thought it sounded like; it was hard to be certain since my attention was also divided between the explosion of taste in my own mouth.

When we had both swallowed, Raph picked up the remote to turn the TV on. "Hey," I said, "My TV, my remote."

"I wanna watch The Mummy."

"I pick the show we'll watch." I took another bite of pizza. "I have it in my DVD collection. Go get it."

"Pushy broad," Raph said, but he got up to grab it anyway.

After we had settled in to watch the movie, had eaten a slice of pizza apiece, and Raphael was back to massaging my feet after I had guilted him about making my day (and in fact the next few weeks) living hell for me since I'd be putting everything back to the way they were.

"So… what book were you looking for anyway?" I asked, taking another slice of pizza.

"Something about puzzles or something," he replied, and then did something with his fingers to my feet that had me groaning again. "Geeze, Irma, if someone hears you they're gonna think we're having some kind of crazy animal sex or something!"

"Don't be so dramatic," I said. "My sex sounds are different. These are good food groans."

"You know, most people don't need to distinguish between those two."

"ANYWAY… Why were you looking for a book on puzzles?"

"Because that's what Don wanted, like I just said."

"Why did Don want that?"

"I don't know, geeze! Stop asking so many questions!"

"Does he like puzzles or something?" Raph glared at me. "'Cause I have something he might like if that's the case."

"Oh, yeah? What?"

I reached over to the coffee table and picked up the puzzle box that I had left there before. It was still open. "Do you guys use an IM system?" I asked.

"Yeah, Digsby. Why?"

I picked up a pen and a notebook that I left lying by the phone which sat on a side table next to the couch, and wrote down my username and email address. "For when we're both bored and doing nothing," I said, tearing the paper out of the notebook and folding it up. I put it in the box and closed it all up. I then handed it to Raph. "Tell him he can have this. That way I can chew him out for sending you to the library to cause chaos when he could have just asked me."

It was Raph's turn to blink. "Huh… We didn't think of that."

"No, really? You guys are going to have to start thinking of me as an ally at some point," I said, feeling a little disappointed.

Raph stroked a finger along my foot that made me squirm with laughter. I hadn't known that a person could be ticklish on the bottoms of their feet. "That's what you get for being so damn sensitive about everything we do."

"I am not sensitive!" I said. Raph tickled my foot again and I wriggled some more. "Okay, fine, maybe I'm a little sensitive."

"We met you a couple weeks ago. We like you, and that's about all that can be said so far. We haven't gotten to the point where we consider you in everything we do."

"You were friends with April right away," I countered.

"April was the first person outside of our own family that we had ever spoken to. We were too excited to finally have someone else around to actually think about it. Don't go all hormonal just 'cause we didn't get BFF stickers for each other's stuff the first day." I whopped him with a pillow and he tickled my feet again.

We somehow managed to get through the end of the movie with a foot massage and eating pizza, and arguing about random silly things, like whether or not Benny was actually a likable character.

The evening ended when Raphael announced that it was time for him to leave. He took the box I gave him and offered his apologies for running half the library (actually he said "If I have to come back I'll be more careful," which I guess is close enough).

It wasn't until after he left that I realized that if HE could get in through my window that easily, how easily others besides the turtles could get in too. I had a bit of trouble sleeping that night.

I wouldn't have made such a long scene between Irma and Raphael myself, but he revolted against me and overthrew my reign over this chapter. He insists on being called King Raph for the remainder of the day. Review and tell him you protest his tyranny!