Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

Author's Note:

Sorry for the very very very late update, had a lot on my plate and so here it is finally.

Enjoy and thanks for sticking around!

Chapter XX – This State I'm In

Rosalie POV

"I love being with you, but I hate the whole going back and forth from here and California..." I didn't see where this was going. "Will you come to California with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Will you move in with me?" he said and I stared at him open mouthed.

"Move in...with you?" I said slowly to take it in. "Uproot, my whole life here and just move?" he nodded and moved closer, taking one of my hands.

"Yes, I think we could make it work" he had no doubts about it, but I didn't have his confidence.

"My friends...my business...my whole life, is her in New York"

"You can still visit and you could hire a manager. We could do it, Rose" I breathed out and looked away, gently taking my hand back from his grasp.

"I don't know"

"Rosalie, I love you" I snapped my eyes back to him, my mouth falling open in shock as I was unable to find the right words, to find any words to say to him. "I want to be with you and not just every other weekend. Is that too much?"

"I can't just leave, on a whim. I have responsibilities and I don't want to hire a manager, I have worked so hard to get it up and running, I am not going to hand it over to someone else"

"You won't even consider it?"

"There is nothing to consider! It's ridiculous and couldn't have come at a worse time, I have so much on my plate right now"

"So, I don't matter"

"That is not what I am saying" I replied calmly, but he shook his head and took a step back.

"Why, is it I feel that you are waiting for something? Some issue or flaw that will give you a reason to walk away from me? I just told you that I love you and you act like you didn't hear it"

"I heard it"

"But you don't feel the same?" it was really posed as more of a statement than as a question.

"I didn't say that"

"You didn't say it back either" I sighed and tucked away a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I like you a lot Royce and I like how things are now, can't we keep it that way?" he nodded and glanced away from me.

"Is it Emmett?"

"What?"

"The way he looks at you...I don't like it" he shook his head and fiddled with his tie, looking back at me. "I've seen that look before when you were married to him"

"I am with you Royce and are you suggesting that I have been unfaithful to you?"

"Are you?" I let out an incredulous laugh, shaking my head and turning away.

"Un...fucking believable. Emmett and I are history, we are over. I cannot believe you would think so little of me"

"Can you blame me? He looks at you like he still loves you and there is some weird tension between you two" I felt like slapping him or swearing loudly at him...or both.

"Before I started seeing you, Emmett and I briefly got...back together. But, it was over before I even met you again, it ended badly and that is why I can barely stand him" he looked unconvinced. "That is the truth, I am with you and if you don't trust me then I don't know what else to say" I looked down the hallway, I should be getting back to Alice and Jasper's reception.

"I do...I don't know what to think"

"We have only been together for a few months, less if you don't count all the times you've been out of New York. Moving in together, is a massive step and right now it isn't plausible for me to move away when my restaurant is just getting started"

"Sounds like you've already made up your mind" he sounded somewhat bitter.

"You know what, fuck you. I have perfectly valid reasons for not uprooting my whole life, to make you feel better about our relationship. If you don't like it then you can piss off and I'll get a lift home with Rob. Don't worry he's just a friend, I'll try not to screw him on the way back" I walked away from him in a rage not stopping to look back as I went back into the reception.

I would get through the rest of this day for Alice, fuck men.

~X~X~X~

"...When I fight with you, I'm really fighting for us...because if I didn't care, I wouldn't bother"

"I still love you"

"We belong together, we have history...and Royce doesn't stand a chance"

What he had said to me ran through my mind, even as I got out of the cab and headed inside the hotel to see Royce. Why did he have to do that? I was shaken and he had helped me, then said all of those things...what was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do?

"Emmett, I have to go" his face fell, but then he nodded and forced on a small smile on his face.

"To see Royce?"

"Yes" was all I could say in response.

"One more thing" I raised an eyebrow and he smiled. "I got a promotion"

"Congratulations?"

"Thanks, because it means that I get my own office...in New York" he said it casually and the reality hit me.

"You're going to take it aren't you?"

"Yep" he replied, popping the 'p' at the end.

"Oh"

"I'll see you around, Rose"

I knocked on the door of Royce's suite, it was the best in the hotel and the most expensive too. It was on the very top floor with a dizzying view of the city, he answered the door barely a few seconds later barefoot and without the designer jacket he favoured.

"Hi Rosalie, do you want a drink?"

"Sure" he went over to the mini bar that was not the standard small fridge in most hotel room, getting two glasses out as I sat on an overstuffed armchair by the wall of glass displaying the New York skyline. He handed me a gin and tonic and perched on a chair a little further away from the window, I remembered he had a fear of heights as he eyed how close I was to the window. "Why do you get the top suite if you can't stand heights?"

"Because it's the best" was his answer before he took a sip of his own drink. "I'm sorry" he blurted out and I took a gulp of my drink, I tried not to show my distaste as the drink was more gin than anything. "You were right, it was too soon and I hadn't really thought about it"

"It's okay" I said after putting down my drink and pushing it away from me.

"It's not, I'm also sorry about what I said about Emmett, it wasn't fair and I should trust you"

"You should have, but let's just put it behind us" I tried to ignore the clenching my chest when he mentioned Emmett.

Maybe I wasn't a hundred percent honest with Royce.

"Yeah, I should have been there with you though, when I saw the obituary by chance and your name, I felt like the biggest asshole. I'm so sorry" I wish he would stop apologizing.

"It's done now, can we not talk about it anymore?" he nodded and leaned forward, putting his hand on my knee. I still wore my black dress and giving him a weak smile, I put a hand over his and squeezed it lightly.

"Sure" he replied.

"I just need to use the restroom" he nodded and leaned back, removing his hand as I stood and went to the bathroom. Locking the door behind me and going to the mirror, I looked a mess without any makeup, additionally my eyes were red and puffy.

Running the tap, I splashed cool water on my face and patting my face dry, I looked a little led tired and puffy. Untying my hair and letting it fall around my shoulders, my eyes still looked a bit red. I hated crying.

Running a hand through my hair, my sleeve rode up and in my reflection I saw the pale, nearly faded scar on my arm. I lifted up my sleeve and lowered my head to look at the scar no bigger than a finger nail. A small scratch compared to the collection of scars on the rest of my body, I couldn't even remember how I had gotten it, but I knew without a doubt who had put it there.

"Rosie, you know I love you" I took a step back as a sob escaped my mouth, covering my mouth a tear fell down my cheek.

There was a sharp knock at the door and a stab of fear pierced me, before I hear Royce's voice through the bathroom door.

"Rosalie, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute" I replied, quickly wiping my cheeks and tugging down my sleeve. I smoothed out my hair and made sure my eyes didn't look too red, before unlocking the door and walking out.

Royce was stood a few steps away from the window, but he was looking at the view with his drink in his hand as he heard my footsteps and turned to glance at me. He put his drink down as I reached him, holding his arms out I walked into them and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry" he said again, softly kissing my head and holding me a little tighter.

"It's okay"

"You know I love you?"

"I love you too" I lied, glad he could see my face as I spoke and at the same time feeling intensely guilty.

When someone told you they loved you, it was meant to be light and freeing. It should feel like you are being weighed down, pressing my lips together I hugged him a little tighter and closed my eyes trying to push away thoughts of a particular brown haired man.

"We belong together, we have history...and Royce doesn't stand a chance"

~X~X~X~

"Two orders of king prawn curry and one Ossobuco!" I yelled out as the order came in, the kitchen was a hub of activity and I loved it.

I loved the pace, being on your feet and the various smells from the dishes being prepared. Even the clangs of pots and the occasional hiss of steam was like music to my ears. This I could do, I was in my element here and not for the first time I was glad I had opened the restaurant.

Jacqueline had had to rush downtown as her mother was ill, so after a second's deliberation I took her place, it was near the end of the lunch rush and it was winding down.

Plating up my last dish, I washed my hands and made sure everything was on track. About to leave the kitchen, Pete one of the severs popped his head round the door and quickly spotted me.

"Rosalie, someone wishes to compliment the head chef in person" nodding and untying my hair, I followed him out the door. He led me right to t back where t booths allowed for a lot of privacy, I saw the back of a man head and realised who it was before he turned around.

"Mr McCarthy this is our owner and Head Chef Rosalie Hale" introduced Pete unaware of the tension between us.

"The food was superb Mrs Hale. Truly, I am glad I was recommended this place"

"It's Miss actually, I'm not married" I regretted the remark almost instantly. Emmett raised an eyebrow with an amused expression and Pete seemed confused with our little exchange.

"Oh" was his reply but I could tell he wanted to say more.

"Thank you, Pete" I said turning to the server with a nod and letting him know by my tone, it was time for him to leave.

"Can I get you anything else sir?" he asked Emmett.

"Just a sparkling water and the bill" with a nod, he swiftly made his exit and left us with some privacy.

"What are you doing here, Emmett?"

"Having lunch" he replied matter of factly, crossing my arms over my chest I glared at him but he seemed completely unfazed.

"That's not what I meant" Pete returned, only to silently place the drink and cheque on the table in front of Emmett.

"I'm not here to cause you any trouble, Rose" he lowered his voice and the way he said my name was strangely intimate. That was ridiculous, he had seen me naked and yet I always felt so incredibly vulnerable around him.

Despite all of my defences, he pretty much knew everything about me, in a different way to Alice. He knew all of my secrets that I never told my friend, the true extend of my relationship with my now deceased father and he also knew how to get his desired reaction out of me.

"In that case, I'll leave you to pay your bill" I turned to walk away but his hand reached out and grabbed me by my wrist, he held my wrist gently and I knew I could easily pull my hand away and walk on, but I didn't.

I turned my head to look at him with a raised eyebrow, he had the decency to look sheepish as he let go of my hand.

"Sorry...I just wanted to see you, no ulterior motive. But I knew you wouldn't answer if I called you and shut the door in my face if I went to your apartment" he was right about that. "Can we just talk?"

"Talk?" I repeated and mentally chastised myself for my impersonation of a parrot.

"Yes, try and be friends?"

"But I thought you wanted-" I trailed off, remembering with perfect clarity what had said to me the last time I saw him.

"More?" he completed and I nodded briefly. He momentarily glanced down and ran a hand through his brown curls, before slowly lifting his eyes to look at me again. "I do, that hasn't changed but I know that can't happen right away, I need to earn your trust back and that is what I'm going to do, before trying to woo you" I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, noticing the look I was getting from Robert at the bar.

"I don't think we can be friends"

"Even though you are still with Royce King" his said his name with acid dripping from his voice and a look of distain. "We can be friends, if that's all I can have for now then I will take it"

"From my experience, one being more recent, I don't know how I can ever trust you or be your friend. I appreciate what you did for me with...Roger's funeral arrangements, but I am very busy and I don't have time for this right now" I tried to school my features into an expression that wasn't weak or pathetically heartbroken. "I have to go, I'm glad you enjoyed your meal" walking away I ignored the look I got from Robert, going to the office and getting my purse.

Walking inside and letting the door close behind me, I went over and grabbed my purse from behind the desk when the door opened. Snapping my head up as Emmett walked in and closed the door behind him, straightening up I gave him a disapproving look as I put down my purse and crossed my arms across her chest.

"Rosalie" he began, taking a few steps closer until he was prevented by going any further by the desk in between us. "I keep saying or doing the wrong thing don't I?"

"Can't you leave me alone?"

"I love you" casting my eyes down and sighing, I shook my head.

"How do I know you aren't just saying that because your fiancé left you?" keeping my eyes down, I uncrossed my arms and placed my palms on the top of my desk.

"Because...it's true, we know each other Rose and even when I was in that church, you were the only person I could think about" despite everything, he sounded and looked sincere as he talked and even as he silently observed me.

"You can't say stuff like that! Tell me that you love me, it's not fair when I am in a relationship"

"Why, because you feel the same?" he leaned in and even with the desk between us, I felt like I needed more space between us. Stepping back and clenching my hands into fists, hard enough that I could feel my nails digging into my palms.

"No, I'm with Royce" I insisted, clenching my hands tighter and shaking my head.

"See you say that, but I've seen you two together"

"So?"

"I don't think you love him" he stated and that pissed me off.

"How dare you?" I shook my head once more. "I did love you...and you b-broke my heart. I was willing to forgive you but you chose someone else! Now you expect me to believe that you made a mistake and you love me?"

"I do-"

"It's too late, I am with someone else and even if I wasn't it would still be too late for us!"

"I don't believe you"

"Believe what you want, just get out of my office!" I snapped, fixing him with my fiercest glare.

"Rose" he pleaded.

"Get out" he walked round the desk and I stepped back, pressing my lips together and continuing to glare at him.

"Rose" he said softer and damn if my heart didn't start to beat faster at his proximity.

My back hit the wall behind me and I stopped, he got even closer and I looked away again.

"Emmett, please just leave" he didn't say anything but leaned in closer until his face was barely an inch away from mine. My heart beating wildly in my chest, I was sure he could hear it as he reached out and pushed my hair back gently. Despite everything that little touch sent a shiver up my spine and I wanted nothing more than to lean into his touch.

"Rose" he said softly, before pressing his lips to mine.

It was familiar and warm, as his lips moved against mine, his hands went to my lower back pulling me closer and my hands went to his shoulders, pushing him away. It was too late though, for a moment I had kissed him back and he knew that.

He opened his mouth to say something but at that moment, there was a knock on the door, we sprung apart when it opened and Robert appeared in the door frame.

He looked to me and then Emmett, taking it in a few seconds and looking back to me he gave me a knowing look. "You should sort yourselves out, Royce just called and he'll be here in ten" he looked back to Emmett who was looking at me. "I'll give you a minute"

"Thanks Rob" he nodded and walked out again.

"Rose, I'm sorry about that. It was out of line, especially considering what I said about being friends before" I went to my purse and got out my compact, keeping my back to him and being quiet for a moment as I checked my makeup but really thinking about what to do now.

Snapping it closed a few moments later, I kept my back to him and started talking to wall in front of me.

"I can't be friends with you Emmett. It's too hard" it hurt too much. "I can be civil with you-"

"I don't want that! I don't want things to be awkward between us" clenching my hands once I dropped the compact back in my bag, I looked at the ground and half turned around.

"Well, you can't always get what you want! Life is not always fair, you doesn't always get a happy ending. So get over it and if you really care about me, you would stay away. Give me a clean break and let me start a new life" my voice almost broke at the, I still couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"A new life...Royce"

"Maybe...let me get over you, I need that" I glanced at him and he nodded slowly.

"Your right, I'm sorry" he spoke carefully and I pressed my lips together, my chest" tightening painfully. I'll decline the job and go back to Seattle" I stiffly nodded and he walked out, I forced myself not to cry and taking a few deep breaths I put aside my feelings for my ex and composed myself.

A minute later there was a knock on the door.

"Come in" I called out and Robert appeared again, he took a look at me walking over and hugging me silently.

"I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For being an utter twat. I was wrong about Royce" no, you weren't.

"It's fine" pulling away, I glanced at my watch. "It's not too early for a drink is it?"

"I could make you a Bloody Mary, I'm getting pretty good at them" he smiled and I gave him a small one in return.

"Okay then, sound good"

Royce found me at the bar a few minutes later, finishing off the rather good Bloody Mary made by my friend.

"Hey babe"

"Hi, I thought you had a meeting?" he shrugged and sat next to me, I was aware of Robert hovering nearby.

"It ended early, so I thought I'd come see you. Plus I have tickets for the opera tonight, do you fancy it?"

"Wow" I said, faking my enthusiasm as he smiled happily. "Sounds great!" maybe that's, too much enthusiasm.

"Great, so have you had lunch yet?" I shook my head and he put a hand on my knee.

"No, I just got off the lunch rush and I am starving!"

"How about we go to your apartment and I make us lunch?"

"That's...great!" he leaned forward and kissed my cheek before hopping off the bar stool.

"Great, grab your coat and I'll get us a cab"

"Okay" I walked to where it was hung up and Robert came up to me. "Are you good here for a bit?" I asked as I very rarely left him on his own in the restaurant, which may have been unneeded as he was doing pretty well here.

"We'll be just great!" he said putting on a peppy American accent and smiling like an idiot. I rolled my eyes and swatting his shoulder which got me an annoying smirk.

"I don't sound like that"

"You don't hear yourself" he chuckled. "It's all good here, I hope you have a great time at the opera" he laughed to himself and walked back to the bar, staring to dry a load of glasses and put them away.

Emmett POV

"Thanks for coming" I said in greeting as I shook Royce's hand and we sat down, he looked as if he's rather be anywhere else but with me in the hotel bar, but he nodded politely as he was brought up.

"Care to tell me why you asked to meet me? After all, we aren't exactly friends and I have an evening with my girlfriend planned out" there was a slight emphasis on the word 'girlfriend' and I resisted the urge to punch the smug son of a bitch in his perfect face.

"I'm leaving New York tomorrow, going back to Seattle and staying there" he raised an eyebrow.

"Is that meant to be news to me? I'm only surprised you haven't already left" he leaned back and waved to the nearby waiter, ordering a scotch and I asked for the same again.

"Of course she didn't tell you" he looked confused for a moment and I smirked which seemed to annoy him. "I told her that I love her" his mouth fell open and I tried not to look smug at his expense.

"You told her you love her?" he said finally, lifting my glass I took a sip and then nodded slowly.

"Don't worry Royce, she chose you and so...I am leaving"

"So, why did you want to meet me?" I saw his confusion and he leaned forwards and took a deep gulp of his drink, looking at me the whole time.

"I want Rose to be happy, she...she deserves that" he raised an eyebrow, looking distrustful of me, he had no reason to trust me but he would listen. "She wants to be with you and so I swear that if you ever hurt her, you will regret it" I spoke calmly as I could, making sure as to leave no doubt in his mind as to my intentions.

"Is that a threat?"

"No. I don't make threats, but that is a promise" he looked uncomfortable and I was glad of that, it meant he was taking me seriously.

"Is that all?" he said trying to make his voice sound level.

"It isn't, are you seeing Rose tonight?" he nodded and finished his drink.

"I'm taking her to the opera" he seemed smug and not for the first time since I saw him again, I wanted to punch him right in that smarmy little grin of his. Instead I gave him a wide smile of my own, which disarmed his own smile and threw him off balance for a moment.

"You should know that Rose hates the Opera, that and Ballet. She prefers the theatre, but not musicals"

"Does she?"

"Yeah, we went to the opera once and she hated it so much we left half an hour in. But don't take my word for it, you can always ask her when you see her later. You should also know that she also hates roses, prefers tulips, did you know that?"

"I didn't know that" he admitted.

"There is a lot that you don't know about Rose. There are some things you may never know about her, know this Royce. I've known her since we were kids and I know her in a way you will never know her, I love her and that is the only reason why I'm doing this"

"I can get to know her"

"Do you love her?"

"I do love her" to his credit, he didn't hesitate at all.

"Okay, then in that case I have nothing left to say" I stood up and held out my hand, he stood and shook my hand, I gripped his hand tighter than was necessary and pulled him towards me, so I could talk into his ear. "Apart from this, hurt her in any way and you will suffer ten times as much"

"I won't" he replied and gave me a stiff nod as I moved away.

"Well all the best" I said and let go of his hand, taking a step back and leaving.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading.