Belly

I've been in Spain for about two days, and I couldn't help but think of him. I had left just so that I could escape the old me. The one who tore apart friendships, bonded and strengthened summer after summer. The one who tore apart brothers, effecting all the people I love, even the ones who weren't living.

My mom thought she was being secretive in the backseat of the car with her hand over her mouth on the phone. Her eyes glancing at the mirror towards me every few seconds gave away that she was hiding something, so I played along and pretended to be asleep. Steven was too focused on the road to notice, but not me. Not when I heard his name.

"Look Connie, it's not a good idea for you to go to the airport to see her go...Yes, I know you do, I'm sure she does too, but for now keep yourself busy and don't think about her leaving...Leaving is her best bet for her to heal. Maybe you need this too...Beck would agree with me and you know it...I'll call you when she leaves, okay? I'll be stopping by the summer house before you go back to California and we can talk then because I think she's waking up soon. We're an exit away from the airport...Okay I'll see you soon. Don't do anything stupid now."

She should have known I heard. He thinks about me? He wanted to see me? No. I had been months since I had even heard of him, and now his name caused me to go into this trance I needed to snap out of.

That's what I was going to do. I already settled in my dorm with my best friend since forever, Taylor, and now I just need to find an escape from him because I guess thousands of miles over a large sea wasn't a good enough escape from him. I grabbed my map, phone, and bag and went on an adventure for some sugar.

How is it possible that the local stores don't have Sour Patch Kids? If Spanish people have never had Sour Patch Kids, its safe to say that they're deprived and that their taste buds haven't had pure goodness ever.

Just as I entered my dorm, my phone rang. My mom.

"Hola mama!"

"Please tell me you know more Spanish than just those two words," my mom joked with an expected smile on the other side of the phone.

"Ha ha very funny. One day, I'll know so much Spanish, you wouldn't even know I called you a curse word because I'm so good."

"Smart ass. So how is it there? How's Taylor liking it?"

"Taylor loves it, and actually, she already met a guy on our floor. New country, same Taylor." I continued in the most serious voice I could, "And I'm dying of deprivation, Mom. I don't know how people live out here!"

"What? You've been there all of 48 hours. You can't possibly dislike it when you haven't experienced anything! I did not spend this much money for you to-"

"THEY DON'T HAVE SOUR PATCH KIDS, MOM. How am I going to last?!"

She sighed in relief and chuckled lightly. "Oh my goodness. Here you are saying Taylor stayed the same, when you're the same old Belly. You'll be fine."

My light mood halted and I was silent. She said same old Belly. The Belly I thought I left back in the States.

"I should be going soon. Steven is about to leave to see your dad before he drives to school. Call soon. I love you," she said after waiting for an answer that wouldn't come out.

"Love you. Tell him I said to call me soon. He might want to visit now that Claire Cho is out of the picture. There are girls that are his type here."

She laughed lightly and said she would, then the line ended.

Maybe my mom was right. I am the same Belly.

Well that needs to change. New country, new, independent Belly.

The second Taylor came through the door, I grabbed her hand and told her we were going to go do something important. Now that I chose to be different in Spain, I guess I should look it too.

We found a salon close by, and cut my hair even though I loved it long more than anything. So did Conrad. Maybe if I cut it, it'll help with getting him off my mind. I pretended the length of my hair held the memories I had with the Fisher's because that's what held me back the most. I needed to move on from them and focus on me. So before I could change my mind, I asked for a bob hair cut.

Bye long hair.

Bye memories.

Goodriddens old me.