Chapter 11.
Somehow I end up in Kayla's room trying on a few of her dresses. As we get ready together we don't get into deep conversation. I think she's hoping that I bring Mats up, and since I don't, she doesn't push me.
Schmelle, Kayla and I make it to the Hotel Hall for the dinner party.
Not everyone is there yet, and the room seems a bit sparse.
Lukasz is here already, sitting next to Kuba and his wife. Kuba is saying something to him which has him chuckling. They go back and forth a few times, until they are both belly laughing.
It is so nice, so refreshing, to see him this way — careless, happy.
He brings his drink to his lips as I make my way with Kayla and Schmelzer to our table. He halts, mid drink, while his eyebrows scrunch in the middle as his eyes find me. I smile and shrug at the confused expression on his face, and he puts his drink down.
I make it to the table, consciously aware of the pair of blue eyes following me. It takes quite the effort not to turn to look at him again, when his eyes are calling on me that way.
I get rid of my jacket, and take a seat at our empty table. Five seconds have not gone by, when he's sitting next to me.
"You stayed," he says, without looking at me, facing the entrance doors.
"Yeah, figured I'd crash your party."
"It's not my party..." He turns to look at me. "You wouldn't be crashing it either."
When the lines next to his lips appear, I can't help but reciprocate.
"Are you feeling better?" I ask, with a little nod to his hip.
"As good as new," he teases, unable to erase the smile of his face.
Okay, whatever he's on, I want some.
"Liar," I say through a giggle.
"I'll be fine," he adds dismissively, sitting back onto the chair. His eyes are still on me, but he slowly loses his smile. He opens his mouth a couple times, as if he's going to ask something else, but he stalls.
When the entrance doors open, his attention is shifted in that direction.
Through the doors come Reus, with two of the younger ones flanked by Mats himself. As soon as they appear, Lukasz sits up on his chair, edging slightly away from me.
Mats comes around to us and sets a hand on Lukasz' shoulder. "Better?"
Lukasz looks up to him, nodding with a friendly smile, and pats Mats' hand with his as he gets up.
Mats arm stays over Lukasz shoulder as he turns to me. "Did you see this one today?" Mats asks me, pointing the finger of the hand that holds a beer bottle on Lukasz's chest. "I swear Ronaldo is crying in his hotel room right now, nightmares tonight, for sure."
Lukasz smiles shyly, looking down. "It was a team effort."
When Lukasz attempts to leave, Mats insists he stays. Lukasz' hesitant eyes briefly set on mine, but after I smile at him, he agrees.
He seats next to Mats over dinner, and we chat, as friends, for a while. It is surprisingly not awkward. Once the party really starts, the whole team gets on the stage, as the president and coach say some words. They're all jumping, singing... it's great to see them so happy.
Music starts and I dance with some of the girls. Kayla never really leaves my side, and I appreciate her for it. She never lets me being here feel awkward at all. That is until, Lukasz sits by me at our empty table, and Kayla makes a not so subtly way out.
Lukasz sips from his drink as his eyes follow Kayla's retreating form.
My eyes are glued to him though… to his lips — puckering around the rim of his glass. To his neck — his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. To his tongue — as he licks his lips dry while putting the glass down.
Oh God...
I force myself to stare at my hands, look for a distraction.
He sets the glass on the table, and he's looking at me when I glance back up.
"Maybe you should take it easy on that," I say, eyeing his drink. "I don't think I can deal with Mats being this drunk without your help."
My eyes dart briefly to Mats, who's still on the dance floor. His arm is around Reus, whose tie is now around his forehead, their unlinked arms waving up and down in time with the beat of the music, rapping, perhaps? The sight makes me smile.
I have realized today, Mats is okay without me. He truly is.
"Okay, don't laugh," Lukasz says, once I turn back to him. "It's just juice."
I glimpse at his drink and then back at him. He shrugs.
"Really?"
"Cranberry juice, actually." He stretches his back onto the chair, one hand running down his tie, keeping it in place.
I can't help the giggle that escapes from my lips. I cover my mouth, and glance at him embarrassedly.
"Hey!" he exclaims, pretending to be offended.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just thought..."
"What?" He presses, one eyebrow raised.
"I don't know. You seem so careless, happy... I thought-"
"Cecilia, we advanced to the Champions League final. How could I not be happy?"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry."
"Besides, I'm on some heavy pain killers right now." He takes a deep breath. "No need to have my liver working extra hard tonight."
Ah, of course…
I look him in the eyes, all humor gone from my voice. "So, you're delaying the surgery even further?"
"Three weeks, to be precise." He seems to be unable to stop smiling tonight, and when he pulls three fingers up, in front of me, those lines on the side of his face stretch again. "Three weeks."
"Lukasz..."
"The Champions League final, Cecilia... In three weeks, we will be playing in the final!"
I sigh. "I know, but is it safe for you to continue playing like this?"
"Can we talk about something else?" He frowns, and I feel like an idiot for ruining his good mood.
Before I can come up with something, he's being dragged up by Robert.
"You guys are missing all the fun!" Annia says, smiling at me, holding onto Lewy's arm.
Lukasz is up from his chair, and he extends his hand to me.
He's asking me... to join him... dancing.
Me dancing, with Lukasz.
I don't know if I can... I don't know if I should.
"C'mon," he says, with a little wave of his fingers, bringing his hand closer to my arm.
I take his hand and follow his lead as we mingle through the crowds of people dancing. It's not until we get to where the rest of the guys are, that I realize we're still holding hands. My fingers release his awkwardly, and he looks down at our hands briefly before he lets go of my hand.
This is so weird, this energy between us. Strange but at the same time familiar. As soon as our palms are not touching anymore, I find myself missing it.
He smiles at me sweetly, reassuring me that everything is okay. Everyone is buzzing around us, dancing, jumping, chanting. I don't even know what song this is. I can't even hear the lyrics. Lukasz' eyes won't let me.
He is moving too. This much I know. Not overly exaggerating, but with good rhythm.
I look down, to try to gather myself enough to actually move my body to the beat. When I think I can manage to act like a normal human being, one hand appears on each of my hips, and a body is pressed against my back.
For a moment my body freezes.
Lukasz wouldn't... he couldn't...
"Did I tell you you look stunning tonight, Cee Cee?" the voice slurs in my ear.
I look up to find that Lukasz is no longer in front of me.
With a sigh, my hands surround the ones on my hips as I turn around.
Mats is swaying in front of me — a huge grin stretching on his face as he pulls my body closer to him, bending his knees.
He starts moving to the music, or tries to at least.
I've never seen Mats dance, ever. It's incredibly adorable but equally parts irritating since his hands are now more on my butt than my back.
With a hand on his chest, I try to keep a somewhat respectful distance, but it becomes impossible, when he locks his arms around me and brings me closer still.
"Mats..." I try unhooking his hands from behind me, but he doesn't cooperate. "Mats," I say a little louder, to no avail, as he continues to sing into my ear.
"Hey!" With a hand on Mats' shoulder, an equally wobbly Reus, with that tie still around his forehead, is pulling him back. "Time for shots!" Reus yells, and then laughs wrapping an arm around Mats. Behind them, Lukasz peeks at me from under his eyelashes.
As they move away, Lukasz lingers awkwardly next to me. I can't read the expression on his face, but I am relieved that he came to help. I am certain he's behind Marco coming to get Mats.
"Are you okay?" he whispers, taking a step closer and reaching for my arm.
"I don't think he should drink any more." I'm a bit shaken up, for having Mats pressed up against me like that, for having wished it was Lukasz instead...
Jesus, what is wrong with me!
"I know..." he says, brushing a finger down my arm. "I'll keep an eye on him."
His eyes burn with unspoken words — words he can't say, words I can't hear — but they're there, I can feel them through the tingling his finger leaves on my skin.
He can feel it too; I am sure of this — despite how hard both of us try to hold back, his eyes still betray him and follow his finger as it meets my wrist.
Taking a deep breath, he shakes his head slightly, before turning back up to look at me and dropping his hand. Then with a nod, he's gone.
I don't make it back to the table, not through Kayla at least. She's with a few of the other girls, and we dance in a group for a while.
My eyes keep darting to the guys, who seem to be experimenting with DJing... or at least Marco is. They're jumping, singing, having fun.
When we make it to the table, I realize I was being more obvious than I hoped.
"He's okay, you know?" Kayla says next to me as I pull up my chair. My eyes, of course, were on Lukasz, who's holding Mats up.
"Mats?" I look at her and she smiles.
"Yes, who else?" Her eyes dart from me, to the guys, and back to me.
"Mats, of course. Yes." I sigh, looking at my hands.
Ugh, this is ridiculous.
"Cee Cee, are you okay?"
"Yes..." I peek at her. "I'm just tired. I think I'll just head upstairs."
"Okay, let me just tell Marcel and we'll go."
"Please, Kayla, you don't have to..."
"It's okay... I'm tired too. Just give me a few minutes, okay?" She gets up from her chair, smiling at me.
"Okay..."
I fidget in the chair, battling with myself, not to turn back and look at them... at him. When I lose, my head slowly turns, and I'm surprised to find Lukasz standing right behind me. He smiles, as he loosens his tie, but it slowly turns to a wince, when he sits down.
He takes a deep breath and exhales through his nose. "No more dancing for me." When he manages to smile at me again my fingers itch to comfort him, but I don't know how.
The music stops abruptly, and we both turn our heads to the disc play, where Marco is double over laughing, before he apologizes and restarts the sound.
"Hope he won't be quitting his day job," Lukasz jokes, his eyes on me again.
I notice how his hand is rubbing his leg as he stretches it under the table. Have the pain meds stop working? Worriedly, my body turns in his direction, and when he frowns, I reach for his arm.
Lukasz gaze focuses behind my shoulder, and his whole body stiffens. Before I can ask, my chair is pulled back.
"Cee Cee..." I recognize Mats voice and see his knees straddling me in my chair as he sits on the one behind me. "Stay with me tonight," he whispers into my neck.
Lukasz looks away from me, staring down at his hands, his shoulders tense as he clenches and unclenches his hands into fists.
"One last night, Cee Cee, please." Mats starts kissing my neck, as I try to pull out of his embrace.
The noise of the chair legs scraping against the floor makes me cringe as Lukasz shoots up from his chair in front of me.
"Please..." I try pulling at Mats' arms, but he hugs me even tighter, burying his face in my neck. "Mats, no."
"Mats, stop." When his voice comes from behind Mats, my breath catches in my throat.
"Not now, Lukasz." There's no lightness in Mats tone even though he slurs.
"She doesn't want this, c'mon." Lukasz tone is clipped, and I find myself relieved that I can't see his face.
"What do you know of what she wants?!" Even in his exasperation, Mats allows me some room to move. I turn around, still under his arms, to face him. My hands reach from underneath, to cup his face and force him to look at me.
Lukasz is behind him, one hand tightly clasped on Mats shoulder. I can see the muscles of his forearm tense with the force of his grip. He doesn't look at me though, but at the floor.
I force myself to focus on Mats, my hands still around his face. "Mats..." His eyes are unfocused, his lids drooping. "Stop this, you're acting crazy."
Mats takes a deep breath, and surprisingly, so does Lukasz.
Lukasz puts his arm around Mats, crouching next to us. "Hey," he starts softly. "I think that's more tequila than any of us can handle. Let's just call it a night, all right?"
"Yeah..." Mats sits back on the chair, finally letting go of my waist.
Lukasz gets up, white-knuckling the chair. My eyes send him a silent thank you, and he nods. He pats Mats on the back, prompting him to get up.
Mats' eyes are on me, through slits, and he smiles. "Cee Cee, we're in the final!"
"I know," I smile, getting up from the chair. "Let's go."
Mats stumbles with the chair as he gets up, and if it wasn't for Lukasz who caught him, he would have knocked me over too.
Mats laughs loudly as Lukasz secures one arm around him, all traces of good humor gone from his face.
I walk in front of them to the lobby, while I text Kay to let her know I'm leaving with them.
As we wait for the elevator, Mats smiles at me while Lukasz frowns, facing down.
When I think things can't possibly get more awkward, we get in. As the door closes, Mats launches at me, of course, still arms-wrapped with Lukasz, pulling him too so I'm caged by both of them against the elevator wall.
"Jesus!" Lukasz curses under his breath, as he holds himself up against the wall. His hand is next to my neck, forearm tense as he tries to push himself, and Mats, off me.
"Cee Cee... the Champions League final!" Mats clumsily runs a hand down my face. I could have laughed, if it wasn't for the rage emanating from Lukasz. I feel he is very close to just letting Mats go and storming out of here.
"I know..." I say, trying to contain my giggles. "It's pretty amazing."
"You're pretty amazing..." Mats slurs. "And pretty."
Mats' body is flung away from me, and him and Lukasz are resting against the opposite wall. Lukasz is panting, holding Mats up, frowning, and wincing.
"Do you know who's pretty amazing too?" Mats asks, a little louder than really needed. "This one!" Mats smacks a hand on Lukasz' chest. Lukasz loses his footing, and barely holds onto the wall, keeping them from falling over.
"Dammit, Mats, settle down!"
"I'm just being honest! What you've done for our team..." Mats closes a hand over Lukasz's shirt, fisting it in the middle of his chest. "I love you, man."
I can't contain my laugh anymore as Mats plants a wet kiss on Lukasz's cheek.
Lukasz doesn't find it too funny, and he glares at me while pushing Mats off himself and wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.
We finally make it to the door, and Lukasz groans as he fishes his left pocket. "Where's your key?" he asks Mats.
Eyes on me, Mats grins. "It's in my pocket. Cee Cee, want to get it f-"
Before he can finish, Lukasz's got his hand in Mats' pocket and gets the key out. "Hey!" Mats complains as he is being dragged inside.
I follow behind until Lukasz dumps Mats on his bed. "What a buzz kill, man," Mats slurs.
"Yeah, yeah..." Lukasz grunts as he takes Mats' shoes off.
"Also, you didn't say I love you back!" Mats says and Lukasz peeks at me, not even that gets a smile on his face.
With an annoyed sigh, Lukasz dumps Mats' feet on the bed, and then stretches his back, a hand immediately on his hip. He's been carrying Mats around tonight, in his 6'5'', 200 pounds entirety. That can't be good for his hip.
"Cee Cee!" Mats sits up suddenly, reaching for my arm. He tugs on my wrist, a little harder than he needs to, and I flop on the bed.
"Mats, I swear to God..." Lukasz clasps a hand around Mats' arm while I sit up.
"I just need to talk to her. What the fuck is your problem?!"
I wrap my hand over Lukasz' who's tightly gripping Mats' forearm. "It's okay..." I rub my fingers over his skin reassuringly. I can handle Mats right now. As soon as his head hits that pillow, I expect him to be out cold.
Lukasz' eyes turn to me in disbelief. I can see the burning anger in his eyes, but he doesn't utter a word. With a breath, he releases Mats' arm and leaves.
I scoot closer to Mats, and with a hand on his chest, push him down. "Just try to sleep. You've had a long day."
He exhales loudly as he lays down, puts a hand over my hand on his chest. "Shit, Cee Cee... I've never felt so accomplished before. No one gave two shits about us on this CL season... and look where we are! We just kept Madrid from the final! Ha!" He stares at the ceiling as he speaks.
"It's been an incredible season..." I rub my fingers on his chest. I can feel his heart beating fast, but as he goes on about the game, he slurs more and calms down further. In a few minutes, he's sound asleep and softly snoring.
My fingers try futilely to arrange some of the hair on his head. He looks so peaceful it's hard to believe the mess he was making a few minutes ago. He was happy, for the most part, and it was refreshing to see him that way. Yes, he gets out of hand when he drinks, but that's not new. I don't blame him, really. I still think he will be okay.
My eyes shift to the door, my mind to the man waiting outside — will he also be okay?
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~