Hello. Thank you to all of you who read and reviewed I love reading your comments so please review, I like to hear things I need to improve on. I appreciate you taking the time to read my work. Enjoy chapter four.

Okay. I know you have all gotten used to me updating every other day or so but now you will have to wait for possibly weekly installments, as I have to go back to the theatre and school starts soon. Also, the plot is getting more complicated now. But don't worry I WILL be updating. Count on it! Again thank you all for reading!

Chapter Four: Turn your face away

"...You'll never see the scars you left..."

A small ray of light shone trough a gap in the dark curtains pulled over Kagome's windows. It had to be at least noon by now.

Kagome had decided to take a day off from school. Maybe a day off would help her clear her head. Somehow she doubted it, and she hated that. The situation was consuming her entire life. She could barely eat and only managed less than three hours of sleep every night. She was physically and emotionally exhausted.

There had been a few instances when she had considered telling someone about it, maybe Sango or Miroku, but she never went through with it. They were both Kouga's friends, and she wasn't going to trouble them with her problems. Besides, the two of them were like family to her, she didn't want them to think any less of her because of what happened.

Then there were her mom and brother. Kagome doubted that her mom would even listen if she tried to tell her, she was always so busy with work being a single mother. Souta was far too young to concern with such matters. She didn't want to scare him, he was so innocent, she wasn't going to take that away from him.

She didn't want to go to the police. If she went to the police there was no doubt that everyone would find out and that was the thing she was trying to avoid. If she went to the police, they would arrest Kouga, and she didn't want that either. She loved him, she didn't want him thrown in jail.

Kagome sighed and forced herself out of bed. She was starving, she needed to eat.

She stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. Humming a tune from a random musical as she pulled out things to make herself a sandwich with.

She stared out the window at the clear blue sky that seemed to be mocking her, as she absentmindedly sliced up tomatoes to put on her sandwich.

Perhaps it was because she was staring out the window that she didn't notice the knife slip and slice her finger until the burst of pain hit.

Kagome cursed and held her finger up to examine it. The cut wasn't deep, but a small amount of blood was beginning to make its way down her finger. She watched as the blood dripped from her finger to her wrist, and finally fell in a drop onto the countertop where the knife lay.

She looked at the thin line of blood on her hand with interest. She had seen it on television. People who cut themselves because they thought that it would solve their problems.

Kagome snorted. If she cut herself intentionally that would only mean that she was weak, and that she wasn't in control of her life.

But hadn't she forgotten about Kouga and his hurtful actions, if only for one brief moment, when the knife had broken her skin? Hadn't she only been able to focus on the physical pain and nothing else?

Maybe cutting wouldn't make her weak. Maybe it would mean that she was in control. That she could choose whether or not she wanted to be in pain. Wasn't that what she wanted?

Kagome picked up the knife and studied it. How could a knife solve anything?

She brought it to her arm shakily, barely pressing it to her. She slid it across her flesh gently as if she was afraid to hurt herself. It didn't even break the skin. She sucked in a deep breath and pressed down hard, bringing the knife across her arm faster.

She closed her eyes tightly and tears leaked out. Maybe she had expected it not to hurt? Regardless of the physical pain it caused, it did make her temporarily forget her emotional trauma.

"I am in control." Kagome said softly as she added another cut next to the first one. "I am in control." She cut again.

Tears streamed down her face as she stared at the damage she had done to her once flawless skin. Her arm was searing with pain and she was starting to feel dizzy and disoriented.

Kagome dropped the knife and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs to help regain her composure.

When the room had finally stopped spinning she stood up slowly and walked upstairs. She'd lost her appetite.

Kagome slammed her door shut and collapsed face first onto her bed. She wasn't laying there long before she drifted off to sleep.

She woke up a few hours later feeling well rested. Her dreams hadn't been plagued by any unwanted recollections. She glanced over at the clock, she'd slept for four three hours.

Kagome sat up quickly. Her brother would be home soon. She rushed downstairs and wiped the knife off before throwing it in the sink and wiping the blood off of the floor. She suddenly felt remorseful. Why did she feel like she had done something wrong? She hadn't felt that way while she'd been doing it.

She threw the cloth in the trash and headed back upstairs. No one would notice a thing now.

As soon as she locked her bedroom door she heard someone enter the house.

"I'm home." She heard her little brother call from downstairs. She didn't answer him.

She sat down on the edge of her bed and stared at her arm in disgust. Was she weak?

"No." she reminded herself. "I'm not weak. I'm not. I can leave this any time I want. I am here because I want to be." She could only half convince herself that the words held any truth.

Kagome laid back and stared at the ceiling until exhaustion overcame her and she fell asleep again.

She woke up with her alarm clock the next morning feeling completely drained.

She took a longer time in the shower than usual, and ate a huge breakfast. She had to admit that afterward she felt better than she had all week. Maybe it was because she'd gotten a full nights sleep and a decent meal.

On her way to school Kagome found herself very thankful that the school uniforms included long sleeved shirts for two reaons. They hid her arms so no one would question her, and because it was freezing. It was getting colder every day. The weather seemed unusual for mid October. It shouldn't be this cold yet.

She shrugged the thoughts off as she approached the school.