Chapter 13.

I open my eyes, still deep in sleep confusion. Before I can move, I feel his fingers, running on my hair, behind my ear. That's when I realize I'm on his chest and I have no idea how I got here. I take a purposeful, deep breath and his fingers still. Once he is aware that I am awake, his hand is off my hair at once, and his body tenses under me.

I lift my head, rubbing my eyes. When I find his, he gives me a timid smile. I slowly sit up and look around, the room is bright now, the TV still on. My eyes find him again, he looks so tired.

"Have you slept at all?"

He shakes his head.

"Why don't you rest for a bit."

"We leave in an hour..." He stretches his arms over his head, cracking his back and exhales.

"Lukasz..."

He gets up from the couch with a grunt, grabbing his leg. "I just have to get through today..." he says. "If I snooze during the day, I won't get any sleep tonight."

He takes another step and wobbles, his face scrunching in pain. He reaches for one of the chairs, his hand tightly gripping onto the wooden frame as he tries to take a deep breath.

"Hey," I come close to him but stop when he bangs his hand on the chair once, twice.

"Shit!"

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry," he says through his teeth.

"For what?" I ask, clearly at a loss as to what he could be possibly sorry for. For all I know, only Lukasz would dare to apologize for being in pain…

"Cursing..." he explains.

Of course… I smile, running a hand down his arm. "Please, don't worry about that... Are you okay?"

His eyes are tightly closed as he shakes his head.

Oh God…

My smile falters at his admission — Lukasz is never not okay. This is bad. "Is it always like this the day after a game?" My hand moves up and down his arm as my brain struggles to grasp the magnitude of the situation.

"No," he chokes out.

Shit… It's never been this bad. "Didn't you take something?"

"Yes..." He takes a deep breath, trying to collect himself. "It did not work." He's not able to stand upright anymore, and as he bends over, hands gripping the chair, he hides his face in his arms to muffle a groan.

Unsure on how to help him, and unable to stand watching him like this, I rush to Mats' room.

I'm on my knees in the bed, next to Mats who's half covered by the sheets. "Mats..." I shake him softly. "Mats, wake up."

"Ten more minutes, please," he moans, still asleep.

"Mats, it's Lukasz..."

"What's wrong?" With only one eye open, he turns to face me.

"I don't know. He's in a lot of pain. I think you should call the medic."

Mats is alert instantly, and he hops off the bed. "Aw fuck!" He grabs his head in his hands, probably already regretting everything he drank last night.

"I'll get you some water," I say as he searches for his pants on the floor.

Out in the living room, Lukasz is still bent at the waist, holding on to the chair.

Mats comes out of the bedroom, his cellphone on his ear, and he's already talking with the doctor. I hand him the water and rush back to Lukasz.

He's moaning and groaning and cursing through his teeth.

"Lukasz..." I say softly, rubbing his back with my hand. "The doctor is on his way."

"He'll be right up," Mats adds.

"Would it help to lay down on the couch?" I ask, keeping my hand on his back, trying to help. He is panting from the pain and sweating through his shirt. As he doesn't say anything, I look up to Mats for some guidance.

My eyes are watering in desperation, and Mats stares at me, frowning.

"Mats?!"

He snaps right out of it thankfully, and rushes closer to us. He grabs Lukasz' arm, closing it over his neck, while securing him from underneath and helping him to the couch.

Once he's on his back, Lukasz exhales in relief. I stay close to him, kneeling next to the couch. He covers his eyes with his hand, and my stomach sinks as I see a tear run down to his ear.

Shit...

When there's a knock on the door, I look up at Mats, whose eyes flicker from me, to Lukasz, to my hand on Lukasz's shoulder, to me again. As he doesn't move, I jump from the floor and rush to the door, letting Dr. Braun in.

"Alright, what happened?" Braun asks, approaching Lukasz, and sitting on the coffee table.

Lukasz takes a few deep breaths, and clears his throat. "I don't know..." His voice is hoarse from the exertion. "When I got up from the couch, I felt a snap and it kind of locked in place, I can't move my leg. It hasn't stopped hurting since."

"Did you take the Toradol?" Braun asks.

"At six in the morning."

The doctor looks at his watch and sighs. "Do you want a shot then? We're going to have to scan as soon as we get to Dortmund, Lukasz."

"I don't know about the shot..." Lukasz' words come out in a rush. "I already had one yesterday and..."

"You won't be able to travel like this," Braun interrupts.

My head swims with the words being thrown at me, drugs, shots, how much pain has he been in? God!

Lukasz groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Dammit!"

"Okay, let's take him to the bedroom," Braun instructs Mats, and they both help Lukasz up and to the bedroom. His eyes are shut tight the whole time.

Mats comes out of Lukasz' bedroom scratching his side. "I think he's getting the shot," he says as I approach him. "He'll be fine." He pats a hand on my shoulder awkwardly. "I need to shower."

It's only until he says it that I realize he's still in just his boxers, and that I'm wearing my dress from last night.

"Yeah, me too," I say, wiping some tears from my cheeks. He avoids my eyes and remains quiet. "I'll go get ready at Kayla's. I'll meet you guys downstairs?"

"Yeah. We leave in an hour."

It doesn't take a genius to realize there's something up with Mats. My mind, however, has no room for that now, so with an "Okay" I leave.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I sit in the lobby of the hotel, Kayla on one side, my bag on the other. A few of the guys and the staff are downstairs already, including Marco, Moritz and Leo, each with shades covering their eyes. I'm sure none of them got any sleep last night.

There are cameras everywhere.

But where is he?

I bite my nails, and I wait.

Where is he?

I am close to heading upstairs, to their room, when out of the elevator they come. Mats and Lukasz, side by side, in their matching team three-piece suits. Mats does not have the cardigan on, just the shirt, the loose tie, and the jacket. His hair disheveled, face scruffy, and his Wayfarers on — in typical Mats fashion.

Lukasz instead has the jacket folded over one arm, and his perfectly done tie just peeking from under the neck of the cardigan.

Whoever designed these suits should be rewarded.

Lukasz walks out of the elevator and into the lobby. Walking slowly but not limping. He's clean-shaven. His hair is perfectly gelled in place, and despite the shadows under his eyes, he looks sharp.

Better than sharp.

His eyes connect with me briefly, and when he throws me a small smile, I breathe out in relief. He's okay — he seems okay.

They are quickly swarmed by press and staff and everyone organizing us to get out of here.

When Mats finds his way to me, he carries our tickets and badges. He's quiet, pensive, the whole way to the airport, and he doesn't address me until we take our seats on the first row of the plane.

"Cee Cee?"

"Yeah?" I can't hide the relief in my voice for having him finally break the dreaded silence.

"I just wanted to apologize for last night. I have the feeling I behaved like an ass."

"You were a bit out of control, yes."

"I'm sorry." He sounds genuinely apologetic, ashamed even.

"It's okay. We kept you out of trouble." I try for a casual tone and a matching smile.

"Right..." He looks down, taking a deep breath. "I just..." He looks back up. "I want you to know that I can be your friend. I meant what I said. I want you in my life, okay?"

His eyebrows are scrunched in the middle, and even though his eyes are covered by his sunglasses, his expression seems pained.

"Hey," I reach for his hand. "I'm here, okay. You won't get rid of me so easily." I try jokingly but he barely smiles. "Are you okay?"

He nods, looking out the window, and lets go of my hand.

As the plane starts filling up, I wonder what else is bothering him. Has he finally realized we're just not meant to be a couple? I love Mats with all my heart, I want everything that is good to happen to him, but he's not the man for me.

I'm not the one for him.

I really hope we can stay friends, even as we move on, to other people.

I wonder how jealous I would be when he gets a new girl.

That train of thought dies as Lukasz walks in the plane, and like magnets our eyes find each other's instantly. My heart skips a beat as his laugh lines brighten his face. He walks by me, shaking his head slightly, leaving behind a trail of his perfume.

God, I am so screwed.

As the plane takes off, it starts quieting down. Given how mostly everyone stayed up last night, it doesn't take long for them to pass out. Even Mats, is already softly snoring next to me.

I make it out of my seat, in an attempt to use the restroom. It's all an excuse, though. I just need to make sure Lukasz is okay.

I find him towards the end of the plane, the window seat next to him empty. There's a book in lap, his hand with a finger marking a page. His head has dropped to one side. His eyes closed.

He is sleeping.

His face seems peaceful, relaxed, which gives me hope that he is not in pain anymore.

Am I staring? I think I might be.

I'll walk away soon enough, just need to reassure myself... he's okay.

I take a deep breath and get ready to get back to my seat, when he opens his eyes.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-" I whisper.

"You didn't." He smiles, shifting in his seat. He places his book on the arm rest.

"Please, go back to sleep. I'm sorry." I turn around to escape but his hand closes around my wrist.

"I wasn't sleeping. Where are you going?"

"Back to my seat."

"Oh... right... sorry." He releases my wrist, and I sigh.

I turn around again, but stop myself with a hand on the seat in front of Lukasz. When I face him again, he's looking right at me... with that smile, the one that feels like it has my name written all over it. I need a deep breath before I can ask. "Are you okay?"

He nods, scooting up in his seat, shifting his leg to the side. He eyes the seat next to him, and I realize he's made room for me to join him?

I glance around me for a second, everyone seems fast asleep. Not that it matters. I can just sit with Lukasz for a while, right? It's not weird. It shouldn't be. Is it weird?

I lower myself in the seat next to the window. My lip attacked by my teeth in anxiety. What the hell am I doing?

"Would you stop worrying about me?" He starts, his body shifting slightly in my direction.

"Not possible." I eye him sincerely. "Would you stop hiding things from me?"

"Was the pathetic display earlier today not enough for you?"

"What you're going through is heroic, not pathetic, okay?"

"I'm fiiine." He breathes out heavily, stretching the syllable in annoyance.

"Stop." I try to muster some kind of authority with my voice, but unfortunately, the way he's staring at me, with that light in his eyes, is turning my insides into putty.

"I'm fine right now, I swear." With a look at my face and my exasperated sigh, he chuckles. "Don't get mad."

"Then don't hide things from me! It was scary, Lukasz."

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Why didn't you go to bed?" I ask. "Sitting on that couch, all night... surely didn't help."

He stays quiet while his eyes bore mine. I clearly hit the nail there. I might be out of place with this, but I just need to get it off my chest.

"I told you I wouldn't take your bed," I continue. "Why didn't you go lay down?"

"Hey, I stayed on that couch willingly," he says with a shrug, an almost too casual shrug.

"Why?"

"Because... I wanted to stay there..." He pauses, looking down. "...with you."

My mouth hangs open, whatever comeback I had planned, dead in my tongue. I did not expect him to admit that... at all. I can see it in his eyes, it was a slip.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," he backtracks. "You did say you didn't want me to hide things from you... so it's kinda your fault." He smiles shyly at me, embarrassed, in the most adorable way.

I sigh, deciding we probably shouldn't get into that right now. Not in the closed confines of this plane, not with his whole team surrounding us, not with Mats, albeit asleep, only a few rows in front of us.

"So..." he says, rubbing his hands over his thighs, both of us desperate for a change of subject. "When do you go back to Munich?"

"Tonight. 6 pm train."

"What will you do all day?"

"I'll wait at the station. It's okay, I have my computer, I can catch up on work."

"I could-"

"No."

"What?!" His lips stretch while he tries to contain a smile and pretend to be in shock.

"Whatever you were going to offer… No. You have rehabilitation, and an MRI scan, right? Then you need to go home and rest."

"Geez..." He smiles. "Okay."

Before I get to reply, a sleepy Reus gets up from the seat in front of us. He never looks our way. It doesn't seem like he's looking anywhere, to be honest, as he drags his feet to the bathroom, completely asleep.

Still, it serves as a reminder of where I am sitting and where I should be. When my eyes find his, all teasing is dropped from my tone. "I should get going." I say and I notice how his jaw clenches infinitely. If I wasn't so obsessed with staring at his face I might have even missed it. "Are you sure you are okay?"

"Yes," he says in all seriousness.

"Okay," I say, getting up from the seat. I squeeze between his legs and the back of Marco's seat. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

His eyes follow mine, a taint of sadness in them, but he recovers quickly, and nods at me.

Mats is still sleeping as I sit next to him again. I try to read, try to sleep to no avail. The hour left on the flight drags, and as much effort as I put into it, I cannot get Lukasz's gaze out of my head. The way he looks at me, the way he smiles at me, what I feel when his fingers brush over my skin.

How can this happen now? He's been there, right there, for so long, and except for the first time we met, it feels like he's made an effort to keep his distance from me. But as Mats happened, Lukasz stepped away. Like a switch, he turned off whatever connection we had, and in my mind, he became Mats' 'I-keep-to-myself' friend.

Now he is very much here and I don't want him to ever go away.

Will he be able to turn it off again? Now that he's single and... I guess so am I? Can he? Would he?

I most certainly don't think I can, and I'm not exactly sure I want to either.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~