This chapter was really painful to write. You'll see why soon enough. I am so, so sorry about this chapter. Especially to you CT; I did bad things to your OTP! Please forgive me!

Warning for people dying, and implied drowning, near drowning, hyperthermia. And strongly implied character death.

...

Water was already filling the corridor by the time they left their cabin. It rose slowly at the far end, the first tiny drops only metres from them whilst the end of the corridor was submerged completely. The electric lights reflected off the surface in eerie ripples and the place was deserted, unsurprisingly.

The listing was prominent now, and it took all of Érzsebét's balance to keep them both from tumbling into the freezing water.

She set Roderich down, wrapping an arm around his waist and using her other hand to keep his arm wrapped around her shoulders, then began walking. Her husband didn't attempt to move his legs this time, partly in the hopes that she would tire of his dead weight and drop him, and partly because he was just too exhausted and ill to move. They were a few feet from the steps when his protests started up again.

"You'll never get us both onto deck," Roderich told her; "just leave me and make a run for it."

"Like I would ever do that."

There was a lurch as the ship sank further into the water, barely noticeable but enough to make Érzsebét lose her balance, and she and Roderich crashed to the floor. Érzsebét clung to the bottom step to stop herself from sliding away, but Roderich could only cry helplessly as he tumbled down the corridor.

Érzsebét pulled herself up and stumbled after him, tripping on her dress in her haste to save him. He landed in the water on his stomach, finally coming to a halt when his whole body was submerged. The lifebelt kept him relatively afloat, but he couldn't move his arms or legs, couldn't even lift his head out of the water, and just shut his eyes, trying to quell his rising, but silent, panic. He wanted to move his arms with all his heart, but they refused to even twitch.

"Hold on dear, I'll get you out now!" Érzsebét skidded across the sloping floor, landing with a splash next to him, grabbing his collar and lifting his head out of the water. The coldness of the water stung her hand, and Roderich shivered violently.

"Thank you, honey," he spluttered, teeth chattering. Érzsebét half dragged, half carried him up the stairs. More corridors followed, and the pair twisted and turned as they slowly made their way to the surface.

"Please tell me if you're tiring," Roderich huffed, "because there's no point in both of us being stuck down here."

"Oh, hush you," Érzsebét replied, "besides, we're nearly at the open deck."

And they were.

Half an hour after first leaving their cabins, the pair finally stumbled onto the deck as water was beginning to spill onto the bridge. Far below them, the propellers were rising out of the water as the last lifeboat was launched. Of course, Érzsebét was completely unaware of that; all she knew was what she could see before her: hundreds of men, women and children cluttered on the deck, clinging to the railings, davits, and each other. In the distance, there were the cries of those already in the water; muffled with the splashing oars of the lifeboats hurriedly trying to get away from the floundering ship; and crashes as chairs and other pieces of furniture were thrown into the water for the passengers to cling to when…

Érzsebét realised with dread that the ship was truly sinking.

She shifted Roderich's arm slightly, stepping forward and almost slipping on the wet, wooden deck. The couple exchanged anxious glances, before Érzsebét decided it would be best to try going towards the starboard davits. There were so many passengers left on board; surely there had to be more lifeboats left. There were probably tons of them!

But there seemed to be so little time left…

She scanned the crowd for a lifeboat, or even a crew member to tell her what to do, but there seemed to be no one. Just a sea of unfamiliar, terrified faces until…

"I don't believe it," Érzsebét growled, stomping towards a family of four, or so Roderich assumed.

"Alin! Tsvetan! I told you to get the children to safety! Why are they still here?"

The duo wheeled round, Tsvetan having the grace to look guilty as Érzsebét stormed towards them. Alin, on the other hand, took on a defensive air. Franz was still in Tsvetan's arms, nervous frown breaking into a wide grin at the sight of his parents.

"Vati! Mama!"

"See, sweetie? I told you we would come up soon," Érzsebét gave him a quick smile before turning on the two adults.

"Why isn't he on a lifeboat?"

"Because there are no lifeboats left, maybe?" Alin rolled his eyes, though he was trembling as he clutched Andrei to his chest. The toddler sniffled and whined, gazing up at his brother for reassurance.

"We only just got here a few minutes before you did," added Tsvetan.

"You mean to tell me you stayed below deck for a whole hour and a half?" Roderich raised an eyebrow.

"We couldn't get up!" Alin exclaimed; "the gates were shut and they were only letting women and children up and we couldn't exactly let the little ones go up by themselves and get crushed in the crowd."

"We tried doubling back and finding another route," continued Tsvetan, "be we just got lost."

"Franz kept falling over and started panicking, what with all the people wandering about just like us, but we eventually climbed up to the deck."

"And?" Érzsebét pressed.

"One boat left," Tsvetan grimaced at the memory.

"We tried to push forward," Alin clutched Andrei tighter to his chest; "I mean, they'd never let two adult men on in a million years, but we thought they'd at least let the children have a place."

"Didn't see them." Tsvetan shook his head; "everyone just thought we were trying to save our own skins and pushed us back. The seamen fired their guns in the air to make a point, so we didn't want to try anything."

"No point in Franz or Andrei being shot at," Alin winced; "didn't help that we weren't speaking English."

"Oh the pair of you are useless," Érzsebét took Franz back and sighed; "so what do we do now?"

The three mobile, adults clung to the railing as the ship tilted further into the water. Wave after wave swept over the forward decks, throwing more and more people into the water. Roderich just put his faith in his wife's strength, as she was the only thing keeping him from sharing that fate, and he tried his best to ignore the screams as passengers hit the freezing water.

It was a deadly kind of freezing- one that could kill in less than an hour- but only Tsvetan was aware of that. He decided not to mention to the others that the icy waters would shut down their organs and that anyone in the water only had roughly fifteen minutes to get to safety before they'd lose consciousness. And even then, survival was slim.

"Well, some of the lifeboats got washed away before the crew could launch them," the young medic explained, "in the waves and all, so me and Alin are going to chance it in the water. If we go now we can swim to one of the boats without being in the ocean for too long."

"With Andrei?" Roderich's eyebrows shot up.

"We don't have a choice! If we stay here we'll all die!"

Andrei burst into tears, and Alin rocked him gently in one arm. "Hey," he soothed, "it's fine. We will live. I'll never let anything bad happen to you, ever."

"You can do that," Érzsebét told them, "but I think we're going to look for more lifeboats on deck. They seriously can't all be gone!"

"They are," Tsvetan steadied Alin as the latter lost his balance, nearly stumbling over the railing.

"Either way, Roderich can't swim," Érzsebét's lip trembled; "we don't have a choice either. We have to try and find a boat."

"That will take a foreign steerage man?" Alin pointed out. He was ignored.

"I understand;" there was a pause before Tsvetan spoke again. "I'll tell you this for nothing: if you end up in the water, get out as fast as you can. The quicker you're out, the better chance you have of living. Good luck to the three of you." He didn't wait for a reply, and he and Alin began inching their way towards the front of the ship to find a safe space to jump from. Andrei threw a small wave over his brother's shoulder.

"Yeah, you too," Érzsebét whispered. She turned around, one arm around Roderich, the other carrying Franz, and began to make her way to the other side of the ship. There would be lifeboats on that side, right? The further forward the deck slanted, the harder she found it to stay upright. She came to a stop in front of the railing, but found the davits here empty of lifeboats too. There were no crew members either.

"I don't think you can keep hold of both of us," Roderich said finally, and Érzsebét was about to argue back when another passenger knocked into them, and she slipped over. The trio tumbled and slid towards the sea before Érzsebét hooked her boot around one of the railings, and they came to a jarring halt. Franz and Roderich were almost wrenched from her hands, but she somehow kept hold of them. Franz was clinging to her lifebelt with his tiny hands as she wrapped an arm around him and he screamed hysterically. His eyes were shut and he tried to drown out the sounds around him. But he was secure, and not going anywhere.

However…

Érzsebét stared down in numb horror at Roderich, clutching her hand and stretched out before her. Behind him was the crowded deck of the ship, sloping into the water and filled with people bobbing up and down in lifebelts, screaming and crying out for loved ones, or for some- any- form of salvation. It was a horrific stew of debris, the dying and the dead.

"Don't worry," she called to Roderich, "I've got you. You're safe." He smiled back warmly, full of love and adoration and… Érzsebét swore she saw regret and sorrow in there too.

"Érzsi…" his smile fell. Now there was only the regret and sorrow. "Remember our deal." His hand trembled in hers, while the rest of his limbs hung limply. He swallowed several times and Érzsebét noticed his hair was laced with ice crystals from his brief time in the water.

"No," she shook her head for added measure, "it's not that bad yet." She refused to believe it. "Give me a second; I'll fix this!"

"Érzsebét, you know there's no way you can save both me and Franz, so let me go!" He choked back a sob; "oh God this is really it. I'm… this is the end." For a moment, he allowed his features to be graced with fear, to reveal how utterly terrified he was about what was to come, then it was replaced by a small smile as he realised he didn't care.

Érzsebét and Franz were going to live, and that was all that truly mattered to him.

"No, it's not the end," she cried, "just keep a hold of my hand and I can pull you back up."

"You know you can't," he smiled as he blinked back tears. Érzsebét's foot slipped slightly, and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold onto the railing much longer. But she couldn't just sacrifice her husband like that!

"We can manage," she whispered.

"Don't you dare go back on your part of the agreement! I need you to listen to me! Please, let go of my hand."

"Vati!" Franz had realised what was happening, and couldn't stop himself from crying noisily, clinging tighter to his mother.

"Sorry, son. You'll look after your Mamma, won't you? She's strong, but not invincible… needs someone to give her a helping hand."

"Of course, Vati," Franz nodded miserably.

"Roderich Edelstein, don't you do this to me," Érzsebét tightened her grip on his hand, but her husband just stared back, face empty of emotion.

"I love you," he told her, "and that's why I have to do this."

His grip slackened so it was only her hand keeping them together. Érzsebét held onto him as hard as she could, but his hand began to slip through her fingers. No matter how tightly she clutched his hand- so tightly it must've been painful for him- she could feel his wet, frosty skin slipping past hers. Her fingernails dug into his skin, but even that had little effect.

"No! Roderich! Please don't do this! I need you!" Her arm trembled as she felt his weight become slightly lighter each second.

"I can't see you die because of me. How could I live with myself if that happened?" Although his face was pulled into a frown, and he appeared truly sorry, Érzsebét could see something else in that face: peace.

Part of him wanted this.

A large part of his soul wanted his years of pain and misery to end, and there was nothing she could do to convince him to stay. This was the perfect opportunity for the darker side of him- the side she'd tried to fight with words and love- to win over for good, and claim the prize that was his life.

"How am I supposed to live with myself if you… I can't let you! I love you!"

"I know, and I thank you," Roderich managed one more smile before gravity won over and he slipped from her.

He fell like a rag doll, sliding across the deck and unable to stop himself as he crashed into other passengers, parts of the ship and, all too soon, the water. Érzsebét soon lost sight of him among the other passengers and debris, and just lay there, unable to tear her eyes away from the last place she saw him. Next to her, Franz screamed and wailed for his father, but Roderich wasn't coming back.

Érzsebét herself couldn't stop her screams. Even after he was long gone, she shouted for her husband to come back. Her sobs mixed with hundreds of other pained noises as more people around her accepted their fate, or fell into the water. But she didn't hear them. All she cared about was the fact that Roderich… Her beloved husband and love… There was no hope of him being alive now, was there?

In her grief, she didn't even hear the forward funnel break off and crash into the water, silencing many of the screams below. She did hear explosive crashes as- far below her- hundreds of items of furniture slid across the floor and the ship began to crack in two.

The ship rose higher, and Érzsebét pulled herself out of her miserable trance long enough to grab the railing and scramble to her feet. The ship would go under any minute now, and she would be damned if Roderich's sacrifice turned out to be in vain.

Érzsebét glanced down at Franz, who was sobbing and sniffling into her dress. She picked him up, kissing his forehead gently and tied their lifebelts together before climbing onto the railing. Her legs trembled as what she was about to do sank in, and she nearly fell forward. She had to time this carefully: too high and she could break her legs, too low and it might be too late. She also had to land as far away from the ship as possible, to avoid them being pulled down with it.

"Franz," she began with a trembling voice, "when I jump, I want you to take the biggest breath you've ever taken and hold it. Do not let go of that breath until your face is out of the water again."

"Yes, Mama," he nodded, a determined expression on his face, and she held him tightly against her chest, giving one last kiss to his little nose- so much like his father's- before steeling herself to jump.

She never got the chance.

Érzsebét lost her footing as the ship continued to take on water and the surface of the deck became steeper. She lurched forward and crashed head-first into the ocean, too close to the ship to avoid the suction, and the dying giant pulled her down with it.

The ship's lights flickered off above her and her vision turned to black as she tumbled downwards. The icy water was like hundreds of knives attacking her skin. Hundreds of knives stabbing them in the dark. She clung to Franz. The air was ripped from her mouth. She tried to scream but freezing, salty, water attacked her throat. Everything around her thundered. She couldn't tell if the distant screaming in her ears was from the other passengers or her own, terrified, mind. Her lungs burned. They needed air. She clung to Franz as the child gripped her sleeves with all his strength.

The pair spiralled downwards, until Franz was ripped from her arms. The current pulled him away and he was gone in an instant. Érzsebét blindly reached out for her child, but he had disappeared. Her mind filled with panic as she silently cried out for him. She couldn't lose him too. Where was he? She needed her son back!

Somewhere in the confusion, she managed to escape the suction, and she clawed her way to the surface. Érzsebét burst through to clean air, and was instantly met with a wave of screams. All around her, fellow passengers cried in pain and grief as they bobbed helplessly in the water. One man nearby cried out for God to save him, and others shouted out names of loved ones.

"Franz?" Érzsebét cried, twisting in every direction, but her son's long blond hair and tiny form were nowhere to be seen. "Franz? Where are you, sweetie? Come to Mamma. Please say something!" She was screaming now, but her only replies were the various cries of the adults around her, starting to grow fainter.

The Titanic was gone now. Where she once had sat majestically in the water was now filled with furniture, bodies, the dying and…

Not too far from where she resurfaced, Érzsebét spied several crewmembers huddled on what appeared to be a low-lying island. The people who still had the strength to swim headed towards it, and it began filing up fast.

"Franz?" she tried again, "if you can hear me, sweetie, then swim to where the crowd is gathered. Just kick your legs out and you'll be fine."

Érzsebét swam towards the island with all her might, lashing out with her strong arms and legs, frequently glancing over her shoulder and calling reassurances out to Franz, who was surely just a few metres behind her. As she reached the crowd of men, she realised that they weren't standing on an island, but- rather- an upturned lifeboat. Érzsebét vaguely recalled Tsvetan mentioning that some of the lifeboats had been washed overboard, and wondered if she'd find the trio huddled with the rest. Maybe they'd even found Roderich and dragged him aboard.

A shivering hand grabbed at the edge of the boat, and she scrambled up onto the keel, using the last of her strength to stand up to make room for others climbing aboard. There had to be around thirty or so men clustered on the upturned lifeboat, and even more scattered in the water around them, simply too weak to climb up and save themselves. Érzsebét could only see a handful of faces from where she stood, but none of them were familiar.

"Franz?" she uttered feebly as she stared into pitch darkness. By now, most of the screams had stopped. Franz was still nowhere to be seen.

She stared out at the sea, shivering and blinking slowly.

One blink. Franz had found something to cling to safely, or been picked up by a lifeboat.

Two blinks. Roderich had been rescued too, and sustained no fatal injuries.

Three blinks. Most of the passengers were safe.

Four blinks. There had been no screams, and no bodies in the water.

Five blinks. They were being rescued soon.

And just like that, the most traumatic aspects of the sinking had been forced to the back of her mind, ready and waiting to be accepted when reality would finally devour her hope.

…

16th April, 1912

…

"One of the officers had a whistle," Érzsebét explained, pulling her blankets tighter around her, "and he used it to attract two other lifeboats after the sun rose. We got into one. It was terribly crowded after we all climbed in, but I honestly don't think anyone cared."

Alin just listened in silence, huddled under blankets on the settee in Francis and Elizabeth's second class cabin. His long fingers were wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee and he wore one of Francis' nightshirts, Tsvetan's bible resting on his lap. The couple had decreed that they could share their cabin on one condition: that Alin didn't leave the settee, for fear he might damage his legs further.

Érzsebét lay in one of the bunks, wearing a nightdress kindly donated by Elizabeth whilst their clothes were being washed and dried. Her face was slowly regaining its colour, and she no longer just stared into space, like she had done for a full day. Only the next morning- after a fitful, nightmare-filled sleep- had she finally allowed Alin to convince her to recount her experiences of that awful night. It helped, in a way, for them to share their experiences and confide in each other.

Francis and Elizabeth had refrained from asking either of them for details on what happened, and generally left them to grieve in peace. The evening before, they'd briefly given an account of what happened to them the previous night, about waking up to find the heating in their cabins switched off and the vibrating of the engines more prominent, and how, after hearing snippets of information from other passengers and crew, news of the Titanic's grim fate trickled through to them, and they slowly realised the finest ocean liner in the world had sunk beneath the waves. Alin and Érzsebét listened politely, but neither truly cared, nor did they want to think about that night any more than necessary. Yet they could think of nothing else.

"It wasn't your fault," Alin said eventually.

Roderich's final smile and the current tearing Franz away from her flooded Érzsebét's mind, and she covered her face in shame.

"It is. I failed to protect them."

"How could you possibly protect them? You remember what happened, right? There's a good reason several hundred of us died that night."

"And what about you and your family?" Érzsebét glanced up with heavy eyes; "how did you survive?"

"And how did Tsvetan and Andrei die?" he finished with a mutter, shaking his head.

"If it's too much for you to relive-"

"I relive it every second," Alin whispered, pulling his blankets further up his body. His bandaged feet peeked out at the other end, and he hurried to cover them up. He didn't speak for a long time, and Érzsebét didn't prompt him.

"If…" he began with a broken voice, "if I hadn't… I messed up… They'd still be alive if it wasn't for me."

"Don't say that!" Érzsebét growled; "if I'm not allowed to blame myself, then you can't blame yourself either!"

"I dropped Andrei!" Alin screamed, squeezing his eyes shut to force back tears. "When we were about to jump… this wave knocked us off balance and Andrei slipped out of my hands! He slid down the deck and landed in the water. And he didn't come back up." The coffee dropped to the floor, spraying the carpet in brown liquid but Alin didn't care. He just clutched the bible, worn and leather-bound, faded Cyrillic lettering covering the front.

"Why would he come back up? He couldn't swim and didn't have a lifebelt." He shook his head, laughing bitterly. "And whose idea was it for him to go without a lifebelt?" Alin's whole body trembled as he lurched forward, loud, jerking sobs causing his shoulders to tremble.

"I can't imagine the fear that child must have felt. I just stood there, looking at the spot where he disappeared and hoping with all my heart he'd come back up. What use was doing that? But my Tsvetan…" he rested his forehead on the bible, "dear, wonderful, Tsvetan. He knew what to do."

"He did?"

"Yes. It all happened so fast. One second he was pressing this thing into my hands and making me promise to take care of it, the next he was throwing his lifebelt off and diving in after him. He did that for Andrei." The corners of Alin's mouth twitched upwards for the briefest of moments. "He sacrificed himself to try and save my child. He'd only known the both of us for about five months… but he was prepared to die for us…"

Alin sobbed into the leather and lettering; "it should have been me. I should have tried to save Andrei, but I didn't."

"How could you even have done anything?" Érzsebét demanded; "you can't help getting frozen with fear."

"Tsvetan didn't."

"And now he's not here."

"Yes I am aware of that!" Alin shouted. "He's dead and it's all because I messed up! Him and Andrei… they'd still be alive if it wasn't for me."

"Sorry…"

He just glared at his lap, breathing heavily with his lips pulled into a snarl before continuing.

"I waited for them to resurface. I stood there and silently begged for that one sight. The only thing I wanted- needed- was Tsvetan breaking through with Andrei in his arms."

"But they never resurfaced?" Érzsebét grimaced.

"Worse." Alin's lip quivered; "Andrei landed in the water at the front of the ship, where it was sinking. And where all the pressure was."

"You mean?"

"Where things were landing. People, furniture… the funnels."

"You can't mean…" Érzsebét covered her mouth with her hands.

"I saw two dark mops of hair reappear before the front funnel broke away and… and…" He shook his head, tears streaming down his face; "it crushed them."

"I'm so sorry…"

"I don't know how I got off the ship," Alin admitted, "some survival instinct must've kicked in and I just had to get away from there as fast as I could. I couldn't face being near that death-ship any longer." He played with his hands nervously. "I somehow climbed onto one of the lifeboats that got washed away, like me and Tsvet had planned to. The sides hadn't been put up and the keel was full of water, but it was better than nothing!"

He choked back another sob. "I stood there for hours, up to my knees in freezing water and feeling like a complete bastard. I thought about taking off my lifebelt and joining them in the afterlife, but was too weak to move. There were thirty or so people on that boat to begin with, but less than half that survived in the water until we were rescued. Even I paid the price for it." He rested a hand on his knee. "If I lose my legs, then I guess I could see it as part of my punishment, for killing my family. Only part though."

…

Later that afternoon, Érzsebét left Alin to sleep in peace and made her way onto the Carpathia's deck. She rested her hands on the railing, undisturbed by the other passengers as she stared across the calm sea, cold and grey and littered with icebergs.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you," she whispered as the wind whipped at her hair; "I tried my hardest, honest." Érzsebét sighed, briefly shutting her eyes, "but I'm sure you know that…"

She didn't speak for a few minutes, watching the foam created by the ship cutting through the water. It churned and tumbled, and made her feel ill.

"You will look after each other when I'm not here, won't you?" she chuckled, "of course you will, and I thank you for that. Roderich, Franz, I love you both so much and will never forget you. I'll make you proud, I promise."

...

Yes, yes, I know, I'm a terrible person. Tbh I hated myself for writing this. It was actually really hard to get out because I felt really bad about what happened to all the characters. But I managed in the end. Shocking, huh?

Only about 2 chapters left of this, but- I'm afraid to say- more sad things are to come. Okay, maybe one more major sad thing and a few minor ones.

A note on the lifeboats:

The Titanic was fitted with four canvas, collapsible lifeboats on top of her 16 wooden ones (named Collapsibles A, B, C and D). Only boats C and D were properly launched. Boat B was washed overboard by a wave, and ended up the wrong way up. Nevertheless, it saved the lives of the twenty five or so men who were able to climb aboard, including the Second Officer (Lightoller) and one of the men working in the radio room (Harold Bride). Eventually, lifeboat 12 heard Lightoller's whistle and picked up the passengers. Lifeboat 12 was the last boat to come alongside the Carpathia.

Collapsible lifeboat A was, again, never properly launched. It washed over the edge of the ship before its canvas sides could be put up, and the keel was soon filled with water. About thirty people climbed aboard in the end, but only 12-14 people were able to survive standing in the freezing water for so long. Those people were taken in by lifeboat 14, and arrived alongside the Carpathia roughly an hour before lifeboat 12. Hence why Alin had been sitting on the Carpathia for an hour before being reunited with Érzsebét. And also hence why Alin was affected by severe frostbite whilst Érzsebét wasn't.

Oh, for those who want to know: the Titanic sank at 02:20 in the morning. Roderich and Érzsebét arrived on deck at about 02:05.